100 Ways to Kill a Weasley

Ron narrowed his eyes, the wind making him squint as he increased his speed on his broom. Bloody hell,Snape was moving in on Hermione and he had to stop this before it really got out of hand. He couldn\'t believe how obvious her attraction to the old fart face was, and Snape was playing her like a sweet violin. Those glittering black eyes and silky deep voice mesmerising her almost as if she was under a spell.THAT WAS IT! He must have put a love potion in her drink...that HAD to be it. Up until a month ago she was happily shagging Ron, always available to him. Then she had had "the talk" telling him that she needed some space and time away from him in order to "figure out her feelings toward him".



Everything had been fine until she had begun an apprenticeship under Snape. They were spending more and more time together. When Ron complained and said how he couldn\'t understand how she could stand being around the snarky annoying greasey grouch, she blasted him. She went into a lecture at how he should be grateful to Snape for all he suffered in order to save the wizarding world. How intelligent and talented he was. How his lectures were awe inspiring. So what if he had a little mean streak, it made him all the more appealing. APPEALING! She had to be joking. What is it with the bad boy attraction women always had? Nice guys finish last...and Ron wasn\'t going to be a nice guy anymore!



He hadn\'t seen Hermione in a week, and when he went to her rooms and she wasn\'t there he had inquired about her whereabouts and had noticed that everyone he asked had looked away and became uncomfortable around him. He had finally cornered Harry and asked him point blank what was going on.



Harry had cleared his throat and then looked at him with sympathy and said, "Ron, Hermione has gone to Snape\'s house in the country to help him work on some new potion that he has under development. When I asked her why they couldn\'t work here she blushed and said Snape said that there were too many "distractions" ". Harry looked at Ron meaningfully, "When I tried to tell her that I thought that sounded kind of fishy, and was she sure that Snape wasn\'t trying to get her "UNDER DEVELOPMENT" she went off on me and said that that I was crazy, but that even if that was true she could take care of herself. She also said that she trusted the Professor, and knew that he wouldn\'t ever force himself on her."



Ron turned bright red and grabbed Harry by the collar "Damnit Harry, why didn\'t you stop her!"



Harry looked him in the eye and spit out "Because she gave me the distinct impression that she wouldn\'t mind if he tried, THAT\'S why Ron!"



Ron released him and went to walk away,his shoulders slumped. After a moment he took a deep breath and turned back to Harry "Where the hell is this house anyway?...I refuse to let this end this way. I\'m better for Hermione, Snape could never make her happy. I\'m what she needs!"





Now he was flying to Snape\'s house, his broom blazing through the cloudless blue sky, determined to save the witch from making the biggest mistake of her life. Ron just couldn\'t see what she could possibly see in the Potions Master. He was ugly, mean and arrogant. He shook his head in wonder at how quickly everything had changed in his life!



He looked down and saw his distination below. It was a small cottage with a thatched roof surrounded by tall oak trees. He swooped between the branches and hovered by a window in the back of the cottage. Looking in he immediately spotted Hermione, sprawled across a large bed, her robes above her waist, she was smiling, her eyes glazed. Snape was in the room,standing by a mirror his back to the window. He was shirtless, his pale back riddled with scars, his shoulders broad and arms neatly muscled. He looked down at the witch, smirking and said silkly, "Come Miss Granger, no more distractions, we have work to do, cover yourself before I\'m on you again!" He turned to her,and Ron saw his enormous cock sticking out pointing at Hermoine! Ron got an eyeful and gasped,now he knew what Hermoine saw in the Potions Master! Snape heard something and looked at the window suddenly, right at him. Ron panicked and jerked his broom up, lifting right up into a branch, which sent him spiriling and he landed with a loud thump, breaking his neck.



"What was that Professor?" Hermoine began to sit up on her elbows.



Snape smiled, and he climbed back onto the bed pulling her legs apart as he settled himself against her "Nothing my dear, now let\'s go over that formula one more time...I feel confident that we can focus 100 percent now that all our distractions have been taken care of."