Hard Time

Chapter Twenty-Five: A Friend in Deed


As soon as they Apparated back to the Manor, Harry found himself with an armful of exhausted, clingy Draco. Harry could hardly blame him; from what he'd seen, Hermione's parents had been grilling him about who he was and his part in the war, and Hermione had apparently been trying to corner him as well. Draco had done beautifully, speaking politely and without any of that haughtiness or disdain he'd always clung to before. So if he was a little shocky afterwards, it was small wonder.

They got ready for bed, traded a quick hand job interspersed with almost desperate kisses, then Draco fell asleep with his head on the crook of Harry's arm and shoulder, half draped over him.

Harry lay awake long after, listening to the sound of Draco's breathing and feeling like there was some great beast trapped in his chest, clamouring to get out. He wanted to tell Draco about his feelings, about the fact that tonight he was totally in love with Draco. He wanted Draco to forget about his mother's place and stay here with him, permanently. But it was too dangerous to tell Draco. He was still recovering from the abuse he'd taken in Azkaban, still too uncertain about his fate with the Wizengamot. How could Harry possibly compound things by admitting his own growing attachment? So Draco felt safe with him. So he liked to have sex with him -- often. Draco was a pureblood, and Harry wasn't even sure if he was gay or happened to bend whichever way the wind blew. He needed Harry now, oh certainly. But once he had his freedom, Draco would not want to stay. He'd want to go back to his own pureblood society and schemes of greatness. Wouldn't he?

Harry had told Hermione about his feelings. He'd confessed that yes, they were sharing the same bed, and it was absolutely brilliant, and Draco was improving by leaps and bounds. How he trusted Harry. How Draco had written a full account of his experiences. How they'd worked together on a defence, and made plans for a future where Draco didn't have to stay in prison.

Hermione had remained cautious, as was her nature. "Harry, I just don't know. If you were in normal circumstances -- say at Hogwarts, without any of the war going on or Death Eaters or anything else, then I'd say it sounds brilliant and that you should certainly tell him and see what he thinks. But you're in a really precarious situation. He's depending on you for his freedom and his well being and if you tell him now, he may lie about his own feelings because he'll be afraid of losing your help otherwise. So my advice is to hold onto it at the moment. Don't tell him, until after he's been freed, until he knows what he wants to do with himself. And just remember until then, that you don't know if this is real -- you don't know what his feelings are." She sighed, rubbing his arm. "I don't want you to be disappointed if this turns out to be a passing fancy."

Harry nodded at her. "I know. I know it could all just be me. But . . ." He hadn't told her that it didn't feel like that. That it felt like Draco wanted to be with him as well. It hadn't been necessary for Draco to come to dinner like that. He could easily have complained that he had a headache and stayed home. It wouldn't have jeopardized his rehabilitation. It almost seemed like he had done it to please Harry. But then again, according to Hermione's reasoning, anything done to please Harry increased Draco's chance of freedom.

And then Harry had asked Hermione about Ron and Ginny, about all the Weasleys, and how he should tell them about things.

"Let me talk to him," Hermione had said. "He's coming over for dinner at the end of this week."

"What will you tell him?"

Hermione shrugged. "I'll tell him that you really are trying to rehabilitate Draco -- because you are -- and about him staying at the Manor and all. We'll start with that. I think I'd better wait until he gets used to the fact you're even associating with Malfoy before we hit him up with the gay thing. And then -- and only if things between you and Draco are sure -- then we'll introduce him to the idea that he's going to have to get used to seeing you and Draco together. A lot."

Fear clutched at Harry's chest. What a bloody shame it would be to have Ron stand by him through an entire war and lose him over this. "Do you think it'll work?"

Hermione's gaze was sombre. "I don't know. It may take some time. He may be angry. But . . ." Her gaze strayed to one of the pictures on her desk, with Ron and Harry wearing their Christmas pullovers. "I think eventually he'll accept it. I hope he will."

Harry hoped it too. He also hoped that eventually Hermione accepted Draco, fully accepted that he had changed. At least by the end of the meal she'd seemed to be thinking it over.

Silently, Harry kissed Draco, who murmured in his sleep and clutched Harry a little closer. Eventually sleep finally found Harry.

***

By the following day, Draco felt much better. Actually, he felt so much better, in fact, that he had to brag a little about his performance to Harry as they were getting ready in the morning, going through their list of things to do for the day.

"And she had me pinned against the wall, Harry. And I didn't lose my temper. Perhaps I bloody will be ready in time for that old Wizengamot after all. Do you suppose there's a chance she'd testify for me?" He asked Harry, as they filled out their paperwork for Hogwarts. He almost felt excited at the prospect of seeing McGonagall and the school again.

Harry shrugged; he was busy attaching his paperwork to Soot's ankle, as the owl stared balefully back, apparently none too pleased at the overly heavy paperwork. "She might, if you talk more to her. She needs to trust you. Yesterday was just the beginning, you know." He finished the knot and gave Soot a smile, urging her on. "Maybe Hermione will have to visit here once her time being grounded is up. I'd love it if the two of you actually became friends."

That received a return shrug from Draco. Friends with Hermione might be asking a bit much, frankly, he thought, especially with Hermione's well-known temper. He'd be satisfied just with a simple truce between them. Which begged another question of course. "What about the Weasleys?" He couldn't help the slight curl of his lips, try as he might. They were still disgusting ragamuffins, and he still thought the lot of them were either stupid or barmy.

Harry winced, and Draco felt a stab of fear go through him, that he'd pushed too far, and now Harry was going to be angry with him. "I -- " Harry began, and shook his head. "Things are going to be a little . . . precarious, with Ron and Ginny -- all of them, maybe. Hermione's going to tell Ron that I'm gay. I don't know how he's going to take that, let alone that I'm -- " Harry suddenly broke off, glancing at Draco guiltily, and Draco felt a nameless fear settle in his gut. Harry was never going to want to admit to people that the two of them had shared a bed, that they were fucking. Draco swallowed down the hurt and tried to look casual. He might be able to tell people Harry was a friend. But nothing more. He hadn't expected something like that to actually hurt as much as it did.

To hide his dismay, Draco handed over his paperwork, which Soot would have to send off once he'd returned. "I understand," he said quickly, too quickly, perhaps. "One thing at a time." Harry nodded, apparently relieved that he understood. Draco understood all too well. Harry was the darling of everyone. It would never do for him to be associated too closely with the likes of Draco Malfoy.

Once Soot returned, they sent him off again with Draco's paperwork, and Harry left to do some errands. Draco wished that he could go with him. The Manor seemed empty and foreboding without Harry, even though Kreacher was still about, and available should Draco need anything. What he mostly needed was simply someone to be with, to talk to. Ironic, that even before the war, that had been what he'd mostly craved. Crabbe and Goyle had never really understood much of what he'd had to say, though when he'd been younger he'd still talked, just to have someone listen. Blaise hadn't been much interested in talking. Pansy? Bloody hell. Pansy had talked enough that Draco hadn't even wanted to talk. But Harry listened. He understood, even. And when he wasn't around, Draco missed him.

When Harry returned, he had a surprise: a Muggle television set, with some sort of funny box attached so that it could access the local 'channels', whatever those were. Draco was delighted; he'd mentioned watching the game that morning and whether Harry missed such Muggle contraptions living here at the Manor; he'd also hinted at his own interest in watching the little people and the odd sports.

They spent the rest of the day curled up on the sofa watching various Muggle programming as Harry tried to explain every odd device and a bit about Muggle politics as well. It was all very confusing, and Draco couldn't understand why they had to go and complicate things so much when magic was ever so much simpler. But he couldn't miss the fact that he enjoyed watching things with Harry. And that Harry seemed to be enjoying himself as well.

***

The next day found Draco staring at his closet again, this time wondering what he should wear to see Headmaster McGonagall. He turned to Harry who -- as usual -- had opted for jeans and t-shirt. Did the man never dress up?! "What should I wear?"

"School robes?" Harry asked, flipping through the several sets of robes Draco customarily wore.

Draco shook his head. "As I recall, I was the only one at the Slytherin table that night. I hardly think it would make the right impression." He pulled out a simple black robe, then shook his head. Too Death-Eaterish. He should probably stay away from black in general, in fact.

Harry reached forward and picked out the light grey suit. "I like this on you. Brings out your eyes."

Well that was it, then. And grey was a neutral colour. Draco smiled. "Well if you insist." He was nervous again, but not nearly as nervous as he'd been the other night. It was just Hogwarts.

Right?

Once he was dressed, Draco followed Harry outside into the bright sunshine. Once again they held hands; Harry wasn't sure if the act of Draco Apparating away from the Manor would trigger the Unbreakable Vow, even if he wasn't trying to escape. They'd decided not to chance it, and to do another Side-Along instead. Draco really didn't want to feel the massive headache that would come with a Stunning spell.

They appeared in the centre of Hogsmeade.

Harry pocketed his wand but kept it close at hand as they began walking. Draco again had his wand concealed, and he knew that he must not reveal his possession of the wand unless it was a dire emergency. As they walked, they noticed some of the residents of Hogsmeade pausing to stare at them, lurking in doorways and staring out windows. Draco felt naked, vulnerable. They noticed Harry Potter first of course, whispering about him, pointing, but inevitably their gaze was then drawn to Draco, and he knew they must be wondering why the two of them were together. The back of his neck burned with the heat of their gazes, and his heart was pounding. He heard something muttered; it sounded like 'Death Eater.'

"Perhaps it wasn't a good idea to come," he whispered to Harry. All his optimism from the morning had suddenly withered under the intense scrutiny.

Harry gently took Draco's arm, as if escorting him, nodding at one large fellow who stood in the doorway of his place -- Aberforth -- that was his name. Harry whispered back, "It'll be all right. We have an appointment. They're not going to bother us." Nevertheless, he kept close to Draco, as if to shield him from the townspeople's stares.

They quickened their pace a little, and Draco winced as he felt something strike the back of his thigh, a rock or a pinecone, perhaps. He didn't dare to look over his shoulder; he was breathing fast, feeling trapped like he had in Azkaban. Everybody hated him. He was done for. Only the touch of Harry's hand kept him from breaking into a run or Apparating straight back to the Manor.

They reached the road which led out of Hogsmeade towards the castle, and Harry relaxed a little, as nobody seemed to be following them. Draco remained wary, however. This would be a lovely spot for an ambush, either from an irate wizard . . . or Greyback. He relaxed only when they crossed the gatehouse into the grounds of Hogwarts.

Hagrid was standing near the entrance, a big smile on his face, beard as bushy and tangled as ever. Harry let go of Draco's arm as they approached, a tight, almost painful smile on his face, and Draco wondered why. Hagrid for his part looked almost in tears he was so happy, striding up to suddenly wrap his meaty arms around Harry for a firm, possibly painful embrace. Harry made a little sound, at which Hagrid immediately released him, nodding and taking a step back. "Good to see ya, Harry -- the Headmistress wanted me to escort you both to the castle, make sure there wasn't any trouble. How've ya been?"

"All right," Harry said in a reserved voice, throwing Draco a little glance that was almost cute; he apparently thought Draco was going to throw one of his little sharp comments at the great oaf's maudlin antics. Well not today. Today Draco was perfectly happy that this giant fellow was around and available to hide behind should any trouble come looking for them. He smiled and nodded, keeping his distance in case Hagrid decided to share another of his back-breaking embraces. Harry continued. "Thank you, Hagrid. Draco and I appreciate the help. Has there been much trouble here lately? How are the repairs going?"

"As well as can be expected," Hagrid said with a shrug, leading them towards the doors. "We've had loads of volunteers come to help with this and that, and o'course the Ministry's been helping out financially to make sure we're ready before school starts. And the castle -- well it's funny in that magical sort of way, you know. It's been doin' its part to patch things up as well. Why I think the Room O' Requirement's almost back to being functional, though it still smells powerfully of smoke in there."

Draco felt a shiver go through him at the memory, and beside him, he thought he saw Harry shudder as well. "That's -- uh -- that's good to hear," Harry said quietly. They'd reached the main hallway and Harry had gone quite pale, eyes darting around, haunted by Merlin knew what memories.

For once, Draco felt the need to rescue Harry. "I think we can manage from here, thanks -- err -- Hagrid." He nodded and took Harry's hand, resolutely trying not to think of the last time they'd been here.

Draco could see Hagrid was disappointed, but he nodded resolutely, stroking at his beard. "Oh, ah -- right. Hard thing and all, coming back here, I'd wager, eh, Harry?" Harry didn't answer. He was staring at the flagstones. Draco tried to look for what had caught Harry's intense interest, but all he could see was a faint rust-coloured blotch near the wall. As the silence stretched, Hagrid frowned and gave a little wave. "Well . . . I'll be seeing you both around, I expect. Take care, Harry." He gave Draco a brooding look, shaking his head, and lumbered back the way he had come.

"Come on," Draco said quietly, once they were alone again. It was too quiet, too still here without the throngs of schoolchildren. Resolutely, Draco began climbing the stairs towards the Headmaster's office, pulling Harry along with him.

Beside him, Draco could feel Harry trembling. The Boy Who Lived looked like he was about to fall apart.

***

TBC

***