One's True Nature

25

It had been a strange and confusing four days since Draco Malfoy had been released from St. Mungo's. He still could not return home to his own manor because it was still being courted off by the ministry. It didn't help his out of place feeling to be so welcome in the Potter home as if they'd been close for years. Draco had stayed away from anyone trying to sort out the confusing truth that had been the new memories recovered about he and Harry. Draco's heart ached so much, what could he tell Harry, he'd have to tell him, there wasn't any choice in that now.

"Draco, are you going to eat something?" Ginny had entered the room.

"No, that's alright. I'm not really hungry." Draco spoke very softly. He wasn't hungry, he was lonely.

Ginny had allowed Draco this space for the last few days. After what Ron had sort of explained, she thought maybe that was best, but the way Malfoy had shut himself in wasn't very easy to just stay away from him even with her thoughts. She had offered to take him by to see Harry with her, but he had so politely refused. She walked the length of the room and sat on the end of the bed with Draco who was just staring out of the window into her small flower garden. She thought for several seconds, trying to think of the best thing to ask him, but breaking the ice with someone you didn't know terribly well seemed impossible to her. So she went with a generic question.

"Are you alright Draco?" She reached out without considering it and ran her fingers across his cheek pulling some of his hair back. He was surprised but she still hadn't realized what she had done until she drew her hand back. She looked at it in awe, it had been a habit of hers to bring Harry out of times when he was distant.

"No." Draco said simply. He couldn't lie, he didn't have the will.

"What's going on?" Ginny asked softly, trying to make sure she didn't scare him away. It wasn't too unfamiliar to her. She had learned to be so gentle with Harry over the years, it was second nature to being coaxing and warm. She looked at his face, the side she could see and noticed it's paleness, but dead, cold features.

"You'll hate me, you'll all hate me." And Draco ran his hand up to his forehead. He tried to stop himself, but he'd denied the tears for the last four days. He started to cry. Ginny didn't even miss a beat in putting an arm across his shoulders to which Draco temporarily shrunk away from for a few seconds before allowing his face to turn and look at Harry's wife in the face. "You will, you should." Draco's face looked pleading, like a child looking for mercy for doing something awful and wanting to avoid the consequences. Ginny couldn't help but half hug him.

"Draco, why don't you tell me about this?" Ginny's voice was warm and relaxed, she took the mother approach.

"I don't think I know everything, but I'll understand if you want me to leave." Draco sniffed a bit as a few small tears fell off his cheeks and onto his lap.

"Draco, just tell me, alright?" Ginny's voice remained unchanged, but she was amazed that she could remain so patient.

Draco took a deep deep breath to try and relax and then he began to tell her everything as he could understand it. The memories, what they meant, the reason he had decided to hide the truth from Harry, just how ashamed he felt for doing this to her. He apologized it seemed every other word, but Ginny wasn't even mad. She understood exactly what Malfoy had done and she wasn't sure that in his shoes she could have done that so selflessly.

"I thought I was going to die over the summer." Draco said the words so carelessly. "I didn't want him to lose someone else." Draco breathed trying to keep the pain away. "He didn't need to protect me, but he would have tried, I knew that. I got the assignment to kill Dumbledore, but I couldn't because I knew he was protecting Harry. I was so scared after Dumbledore died, I thought Voldemort would sure kill him soon after that." Draco breathed in suddenly as if he was reliving that horrible memory.

"why did you keep the memories for so long, didn't you worry if Voldemort saw them?" Ginny asked suddenly. She wasn't exactly the most tactful. Draco smiled oddly.

"I wanted to remember, I was happy. If he found them I was dead anyway." Draco's smile turned a little more sad. "Sometimes I thought they'd be useful if I wanted to have Harry back in my life, to prove that we had been together." Draco looked up at her. "After I saw Harry with all of you at the train station, my memories were just too painful, he was happy without me, I was a wreck without him." Draco's eyes released fresh tears. "I didn't want to take away his family, I'm not worth that." Ginny could stop herself from giving Draco a hug.

"Draco, what you did was really special and important." She pulled back and looked him in the eye. "You deserve him Draco, don't ever question that." She said the words suprised by how much she meant them. "He loves you."

"I don't think he would knowing how much I took away from him." Draco looked so torn up. "But, I really thought I'd be dead and so I never thought this could happen." Draco looked at Ginny, now connecting who she was and had been to Harry over the last 20 years. "I wish for your sake I had died. I feel like I get everything and you're left with nothing." Ginny laughed softly.

"Malfoy, selflesness sounds so wierd from you, but you needn't worry. I was going to leave him anyway." Draco's eyes opened with shock. "Do you know how much he talked of you? How often he watched over you, from his office or from his prophet or Ron, his mind may have forgotten how much you meant to him then, but his heart never did." And suddenly she felt tightness in her chest as she said this. She understood the truth. Harry had feelings for her, certainly, but Harry's heart had always remembered Malfoy. She had never truly had Harry to herself.

"I wish things could have been different sometimes, but I am glad somethings turned out how they did." Draco said, his voice strained. "I love Harry, but I have to tell him everything. He has a right to know." Draco sniffed. Ginny put a hand on his knee.

"I'll be there when you tell him if you want me to." She offered gently. Draco could only shake his head no.


Albus was just a bit filled up by spirit when he had come home just a day ago. Now, attached to James' hip as he dragged his brother around making him play silly kid games. Lilly was shocked by the fact that James did not even seem to mind it at all. He seemed happy and for the first time since school had started. Scorpious was at a distance, knowing Albus didn't know him and hurting because of that, but not trusting James as far as he could throw him. He watched intently as the smaller boy shouted with excitement at finding a gnome.

"Come on James, get it, come on, I wanna see it." Albus whined, grasping at his brothers robes impatiently. James looked down and put his finger to his lips in a hushing sign and then he guided his brother quietly to where he could get a good shot at the gnome.

Scorpious eyes narrowed.

"Ok," James whispered. "Watch carefully." And James whipped out his wand in a quick fashion hitting a small gnome with a stun spell. Albus jumped in surprise. James went toward his stunned victim and picked it up. Albus looking on in amazement and a bit of fear, his eye's got wide as James brought the gnome's limp form to him and knelt down and showed his little brother the creature, careful not to scare him.

"Is he hurt?" Albus said worried. James smiled gently.

"No silly, he's just stunned, he'll be alright." He watched as his brother got closer and reached out a small hand and touched it for a split second as if the gnome was made of fire. He watched as Albus tried again, braver this time.

"His skin is funny." Albus said seriously. "Sorry mister gnome, we'll put you back now." And Albus looked at James. The older boy took this as notice that his brother was done being curious about the small creature. After he set it down gently where it would be safe until it awoke, he took Albus to do something else fun.

To tell the truth, James wasn't sure why he'd been so mean and angry with Albus over the last year. As he played with his brother in his younger form, he began to think hard about what had made him turn against the little guy in the first place. It was confusing and probably in the end it would be some horribly stupid answer. He enjoyed this simpleness even though it was temporary, he was a little shocked when his mother had explained what had happened and then he had seen Albus when the boy came home. He had reconnected for some reason he could not place.

When Albus seemed to yawn from nowhere, James knew it was time to go inside. He told his brother to climb onto his back and he began to carry him inside. He saw Scorpious and that's when it hit him. Albus wasn't his friend anymore. James and Albus had been best friends growing up, always getting into trouble and making their parents mad at them. He couldn't help but chuckle as he thought of it. He looked at Scorpious who had now turned to walk inside as well, from the doorway where he'd watched them, never interupting them. James missed his brother, so suddenly had been the boy's acceptance of a new best friend that James had felt abandoned and he didn't even get a notice of it, he'd lost his best friend and he'd never been able to replace him. He was jealous. He thought of all he had done over the last year and felt extremely ashamed.

Scorpious was still dealing with feeling displaced by everthing, he didn't have a mom anymore and his father was more depressed then ever and he couldn't even go home, but no one seemed to be notice his problems and he just wanted to go, anywhere and just get these lonely thoughts out. He thought about his dad telling him about the funeral for his mom that would be next week. He wondered if his mom could see him. He didn't even have Albus anymore. He was alone.

He went inside and found his room that he and Albus had shared, he remembered meeting the boy first year because he was so shy he stood out. Scorpious Malfoy couldn't help it, being an only child, he decided to make as many friends as he could, but Albus was his first and his most special. Albus hadn't even really spoken to him for a month of first year, Scorpious had just decided they were going to be friends. He was full of himself, always trying to amaze the youngest Potter with tricks and pranks and things, he didn't know how friends should be. Then in the middle of first year the animal incident happened and Albus, still being very shy and lacking many friends clung to the Malfoy boy. The kids would have teased, but they knew Scorpious wrath was wicked and he had the ability to use spells of a third year. He didn't mind, but now, that clinginess seemed wierd, but if he admitted it, he liked protecting him. Weird or not.

He slid down to his knees and lit a fire in the fireplace looking into the fire and just trying not to think about anything. He was trying so hard, but it wasn't working. He was alone, he fought the stinging in his eyes as tears came, then he tried to stop his body from reacting, but it was like a dam broke and he started to cry, loudly, without an ablity to stop as he wailed in pain. He felt fire in his chest, his eyes blurry with tears and firelight.

He didn't hear anyone come in, but suddenly, he felt arms being flung around him. He couldn't tell who the arms belonged to, then the owner spoke.

"It's alright son, I'm here." Draco said softly on his knees holding his son protectively. He was glad he thought about looking for his son, because he'd gotten here just as this fit started. "It's okay, let it all out."

"Why did Mom have to go dad?" Scorpious was trying to get his breath but he was still crying, but less hysterically.

I don't know son, I don't know." He hugged his son tight, his own heart felt tight with pain. He didn't know how long they stayed that way before Scorpious fell asleep, but it seemed like forever and strangely, he felt comfortable more than he ever had as his rocked his son back and forth in his arms. He didn't remember a time when he had ever done anything like this, he knew that for now, he was all his son had. He kissed the sleeping boy on the forehead and said a silent prayer for his wife.

A few days passed and Ginny, who relieved Lilly and Rose from Harry's bedside. Ron had gone back to work to make sure Harry's injuries would not give his enemies the chance to move yet. Hermione was bed ridden at Ron's insistance since she was still recovering from the near miscarriage. Harry was still weak, but he had woken and was geniunely happy to see Ginny, with Draco in tow. Although he noticed that the man didn't look equally pleased. It was several moments before someone finally spoke.

"I think Draco has some things he wants to talk to you about." Ginny spoke, it seemed odd to Harry, no hello, just some serious talking. He wasn't in a position to object.

"What is it?" Harry asked, looking at Draco's face, which still had not looked back at him. Draco looked paler.

Draco took the breath of a lifetime, it was now or never. He began and didn't stop, still never catching Harry's eyes, his shame, fear, self hatered, were all too great. He told him everything, even how Blaise had designed the specific memory charm that stopped people from realizing Harry had been obliviated. He told him of the fight that had started it all and yet as he watched Harry's reaction it didn't make any sense, he was taking this far far too well. Not only that, he was a younger version of himself so Draco had to keep himself from believing this was a dream. When he finished he let out a breath and waited for yelling, confusion or anything from Harry. Draco put his head in his hands to prevent himself from making eye contact.

"Draco, look at me, come here." Harry said softly. He directed Draco to lay against his chest and calm down. "Thank you." Harry spoke when Draco was situated and comfortable.

"I took your memories, I wish you would be mad at me." Draco spoke sadly half into Harry's chest.

"You were right though. I know that I would have protected you, or tried, I mean look, I saved you from a fire in the room of requirement." Draco had forgotten that.

"I wish you could remember them." Draco sighed, feeling warmth from Harry's chest against his face.

"I can feel them, but I can't remember them." Harry said softly.

"What do you mean?" Draco looked at Harry in the face for the first time, taken back for a second again by the young face of Harry's.

"I used to feel these dreams, or what I thought were dreams, you know, the ones you wake up from and you try hard to remember them because they were good, but you only can remember the feeling?" Draco nodded. "Well, I used to have this feeling just on the edge of a dream where I was in love, I hadn't ever had anything like that, at least I thought not, but it was so strange that it upset me, I used to wake up, feeling like that and I would just cry feeling like I would never know what could make me feel that way." Harry smiled. "Now I know."

And Draco put his head against Harry's chest, hiding the tears of relief, mixed with even stronger guilt. What hell that must have been.

End Chapter 25
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: The story is just about done, I have one more thing to resolve, but I have no idea how long that could take. Please review and keep me pumped to get this story finished. I love the excitement and I am working on a new story, but I will finish this one before that gets posted. Hugs.