The Rules of the Game

A/N: This chapter has some extreme violence and stuff so if this disturbs you don’t read it. Sorry if no one likes this chapter, it’s a bit disturbing in some ways, and Harry looses it a little.

Chapter 24
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When Weasley and Granger showed up for me I could feel the annoyance and jealousy radiating off of Draco, but I couldn’t help but feel grateful towards the two Gryffindors for giving me a perfect excuse to not shower with the entire team.

As I began walking away I felt an unusually sharp spike of anger from Draco and caught the triumphant look Weasley was giving him out of the corner of my eye. I was tempted to punch the idiot in the gut, just to watch the look on his face disappear. I couldn’t stand anyone harming the boy I had grown attached to, but for now I had to wait.

I again made a mental note of one more thing I would take retribution for out of Wealsey’s flesh once this charade was over.

Soon. Hopefully very soon.

“Harry! You won’t believe what we just found out.” Ron said excitedly once they had led me into an empty room where we could talk.

“Ron, don’t be insensitive. Now Harry, I know this might be upsetting but we’re here for you.” Hermione said giving me some annoying understanding look.

I internally rolled my eyes at that statement, but had to admit that their odd behavior had me curious.

“Ok, see; earlier today we over heard Headmaster Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall talking when I was trying to find her to question her about our test last Thursday because I really think that third question on the test about the technique used in non-living to living…”

“Hermione!” Ron barked, snapping her out of her tirade which would have probably last for an hour.

“Oh, right. So Professor McGonagall was questioning the Headmaster about the intelligence of not informing you about the fact that well… Sirius Black is after you.” She blurted out and looked at me as if expecting me to explode.

“I know.” I said simply, watching her calmly to see if that was it.

“Oh, I’m so glad. I mean when I heard about Sirius Black being your dads best friend all through school here, as well as best man at his wedding, not to mention that he was good friends with Professor Lupin. And with the whole Fidelius charm and how he was their secret keeper, which is an amazing char, I looked it up and…”

I didn’t listen to the rest of her words. I knew what the Fidelius charm was, and what it meant to be someone’s secret keeper. He had been someone my parents considered the most trust worthy and he had betrayed that trust. Normally espionage wouldn’t have bothered me, but I suppose there was some part of me that would have wanted my parents to have had a chance to die on the field, rather than be betrayed by a dirty rat.

The fact that I was playing a similar role was disregarded since it was Dumbledore himself who had manipulated me into this role, which the Gryffindors happily went along with, and so they would have to suffer the consequences.

There was also the matter of Professor Lupin being a part of this ridiculous circus. I had thought that I could trust that man, but then why wouldn’t he have said anything to me?

I sat with the two Gryffindors for nearly an hour caught partially between the thoughts their words had provoked, and restraining the temptation to curse them for the stupid things they said and planed. With my mind in turmoil I couldn’t stand being in that room for another moment.

“Guys this is great, but I have to go and finish that charms essay for tomorrow.” Which I had of course done days ago; and as I headed out of the room I could hear Granger scolding Weasley about waiting until the last day to do homework.

Finally allowed to analyze everything I walked in a haze to the prefect bathrooms, cleaning myself distractedly before transfiguring the first thing I reached for into robes and slipping back down to the dungeons.

I barely paid mind to Draco as I walked through the common room before continuing to my bed and curling up in the corner. My mind was still racing with thoughts of my parents not having a chance at a fair fight, though I also couldn’t blame Voldemort for taking advantage of an opportunity. To make matters worse, despite my attempts to the contrary, my mind imagined what my life would have been like with a godfather instead of…

A hand on my shoulder startled me, all the memories of my home life still at the forefront causing me to flinch away. I realized after a second that it was just Draco and give a pitiful attempt at a smile.

“Hey.” I mumble, tempted to move closer to him but I was afraid. When I had been younger if there was ever anything that I had cared about or shown interest in it was taken away or destroyed, I just knew it would be the same here.

My body began to relax a little more as I got the chance to complain about the two annoying Gryffindors to Draco, and even better was I got him to laugh. I still couldn’t manage to unless it was some fake laugh for the Gryffindors, but it sounded awkward. Draco’s laughs were rare as well but they were genuine and rang through the air smoothly, nothing awkward about them or grating on the nerves like the Gryffindors.

When Draco moved to kiss me it was too sudden. The memories of my ‘home’ were still too close and I tensed for a moment before gaining enough control and forcing my body to relax. There was a faint taste of dark magic allowing my body to calm further, but I had fed yesterday and so the added euphoria was minimal.

Draco’s shift on top of me startled me, drawing those memories I had been fighting closer again. As his hand moved down the side of my body it was overlaid with flashes of another. One made of creamy white skin, slim and elegant. The other a meaty fist, cracked and dirty nails on stubby fingers groping there way harshly down my side.

Draco. Draco. Draco. Draco. I chanted in my head trying to keep the image of the boy I wanted to protect and give anything to above me instead of…

The hand slid across my hip smoothly, growing closer…

“Don’t.” I gasped, the shaking growing in my body making the word tremble a little. I try to catch my breath, try to push everything away and just slip off like usual but I can’t get enough control, everything’s jumbled in my head and I can’t think.

“I want to make you feel good Harry.”

The words echo in my mind as my breath stops and my body shakes. The creamy hand moves closer and I know it will reach my most private part and stroke it gently. No, it’s the cruel fist, the same I have feared since I could fear, grabbing me hard, squeezing me to cause pain, because all my life is is pain.

“I’m gonna make you feel good boy. Like the whore you are; you’re gonna like it aren’t you?”

The heavy weight on top of me, pushing cruelly down on recently broken bones and bruised flesh. I can’t get away from it; I can’t get my body to move.

Everything is distracting me from slipping away, his rancid breath filling my senses. The tug on my hair drawing my head back so his slimy tongue can lick and teeth bite at my throat. The hard cock moving between my legs, the fist that I fear squeezing my own cock making me tense and want to cry out in pain but only causing more grunts of pleasure from the large body above me.

I just want it to stop, I’m too young, I don’t understand. He’s not supposed to touch me, I’m the dirty freak!

“Don’t touch me!” I scream, my body finally able to move and I bring a bony knee up into the body above me. My arms swing wide tying to knock the threat away as I curl into a ball, still feeling the phantom pains from the memory.

“What?!” I hear shouted at me and freeze. Oh god, oh god. How could I fight back, fighting back just means more pain, I’m going to be punished so bad, why did I fight?!

When there isn’t a blow across my head I glance up and see Draco, shocked to not find my uncle. Merlin what have I done. The shock and hurt is as clear as ever on his face and I desperately want to wipe it away. Thinking fast I get to my knees and shuffle towards the edge of the bed and closer to my hurt Dragon.

“Please, come here.” I entreat him holding out my hands. My body is trembling from everything. The memories are still at the edge of my mind, fear still causing me to quake as well as Draco’s emotions which are pounding through the room and clouding my mind.

Once he moves closer I tentatively massage where I hurt him, angrier with myself than I have ever been. I had sworn to protect him and here I’m the one who hurts him in more than one way. Words begin to roll off my tongue, apologies for hurting him, and an attempt to explain why I acted out, to explain that I don’t deserve what all he’s giving me and that it’s too much. I can’t handle the touch; no one’s supposed to touch me because when they do all there is is more pain. I just want it to stop; I don’t want to hurt, “please don’t touch me.”

The body I’m trying to sooth jerks away startling me, but the anger and the glare I’m now receiving smack into me. “What?” He growls again and I try to think over what I had just said and my eyes widen in realization.

“No, that’s not what…”

It’s not his sharp words that cause me to stop speaking but the growing hatred that my weakened shields can’t hold against anymore. I cringe back from it trying to fight everything back while I try to convince the boy before me once more.

This time it is the biting words that make me cringe down into a ball. “You’re such a worthless piece of shit… you’re nothing special.” The words consume my mind and then he’s gone; I scream out mentally unable to take it.

I’m not sure how long I remain frozen in that spot, Draco’s words still resounding in the room empty room, suffocation me.

I can’t stay in this room, everything is wrong, I knew I shouldn’t have cared, I knew this would happen, but it’s worse because I’m the one who hurt him.

I run.

‘You’re such a worthless piece of shit… nothing special… I was wrong.’ It’s true, he’s right! What’s wrong with me? How could I let my memories control me like that? How could I hurt him?!

I collapsed to my knees, the hard cold stone jarring me enough to make me aware of my surroundings. My gaze could hardly comprehend what was around me but I recognized it; the same room I had tortured that audacious Hufflepuff in. A pair of manacles hanging from the ceiling catches my eye and draws my focus.

Seeing them calmed my mind in some way, reminding me of the basement at home where everything was simple and made since.

I had been bad, I hurt him.

I could still feel his agonizing pain mixed with anger inside of me and it wasn’t melting away like usual. Everything was too much, and I was so bad. I had to be punished.

My fingers automatically flicked across the buttons holding my robe closed and let it slither down my body. I streached up, standing on the tips of my toes to reach the cuffs, and latched them around my wrist, enjoying as it cut into my flesh.

I reached out with my magic towards an old leather strap and shifted it into a replica of my uncles’ favorite whip at home and ordered it to begin to whip me, not knowing a spell for such a thing but impressing my will upon it.

The first cut was like fire across my back, far more powerful than my uncle had ever had the strength to do. Another lash fell and began to cut through the pain in my mind. With another lash I made the first noise I had in a long time; a moan. It hurt like never before but I deserved it, wanted it, needed it. The blinding pain began to push the feelings that had been clouding my mind away but nothing would make me forget the hurt look on his face and as my self-loathing grew the lash fell harder and harder.

I watched as the blood splattered across the walls around me in some perverse design, felt the whip cut me near to the bone making me want to scream out, but still wanting more, nothing could ever make up for what I had done.

I don’t know how long I hung in the chains or how many lashes fell but eventually it was too much and I couldn’t sustain the magic any longer. I heard the whip fall to the ground and fell unconscious with a small smile on my exhausted face.

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The next morning nothing seemed different at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The only surprising thing was Draco Malfoy coming down to breakfast with a storm cloud over his head, shooting death glares at anyone who even thought of getting in his way. The Slytherins gave him his space but wondered what could have caused the boys anger after he had been so calm and pleasant the last few weeks. They knew about the relationship between him and the other Slytherin prince, but as the odd Potter boy never came to breakfast nothing could be said for sure.

As the day continued the blond princes’ mood did not improve and the Slytherins were wondering if they could trick a Gryffindor into asking what was wrong since they weren’t stupid enough to do so themselves.

Oddly enough the dark haired prince never showed up for any of his classes that day either causing whispers to spread across the school.

*****

“Hey Malfoy!” Weasley shouted jogging to catch up with the Slytherin as his bushy-haired friend jogged beside him. The other Slytherins in the hall stilled, staying out of cursing range but waiting to watch the foolish Gryffindors make a big mistake.

“Malfoy! Wait up; we want to know where Harry is.” The red-head said, reaching out to grab hold of the Slytherin to make him stop.

“Get the fuck off me Weasel.” He snarled at him, eyes blazing a molten silver. “Why the fuck would I care where that prat is?”

Weasley stepped back surprised by the hatred he saw in the other boy before regaining his senses, if not his brain.

“So Harry finally saw how worthless you are and dropped your sorry ass?” Weasley said haughtily.

There wasn’t even time to blink before a fist had slammed hard across red-heads face, knocking him to the ground and barely a second later he was hit with a dark blue light and screaming on the ground.

An echoing scream came from the bushy-haired girl as she threw herself on top of her friend trying to stop his convulsing.

“Keep your mouths shut scum.” Was snarled from the silver eyed boy before he and all the other Slytherins vanished from the hall.

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When Harry woke he wondered at how bad his body ached. His uncle must have been furious with him last night; his body was just a throbbing mass of pain.

His eyes slowly focused to show ancient stone instead of the painted brick he had expected and everything came crashing back.

“NOOOOO!” He screamed, jerking in his chains causing the sharp cuffs to bite into his flesh again and more blood to pour down his arms. “No, no, no, no. What have I done!” He screamed magic surging around him causing the blood covered whip that he been lying innocently behind him to come to life and lash harshly across his ravaged back.

More lashes fell ripping his barely healed wounds open again and causing more pain than he expected to surge through his body. He jerked in his chains screaming against the pain and yet screaming for more.

Finally the magic controlling the whip released it, and the boy hung limp in the chains sobbing for the pain that he had caused the one person he cared about.

Another surge of magic released the cuffs and the boy collapsed to the ground, curling into a ball and sobbing himself back into an exhausted sleep.

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When the boy woke again he slowly struggled to his feet and stood staring at the blood covering the room, still able to feel it trickle down his back and legs.

Dizzy from all the lost blood he staggered over to the crumpled robe and stiffly put it on, unable to handle the buttons himself another surge of magic pulled them together scrapping harshly across the boys’ back and pulling a startled gasp of pain.

Slowly he worked his way through the halls, surprised at the lack of anyone around until he realized it was 1:00 in the morning.

Softly he trudged through the Slytherin dorms until he pushed the door open to his and Draco’s room.

He took barely a step before he choked on the pain still radiating off the other boy. He wrapped his arms around his trembling body trying to regain control. After ten minutes he still couldn’t get himself to move closer to the closed bed curtain just a few yards away.

He had known that he couldn’t sleep in this room, not on that bed where it all started, and that he didn’t deserve to be near the one he had hurt so badly but he had wanted to see his face again.

Resigned at being denied even this, trembling fingers tugged at the cuff of his robe, pulling out a hidden needle and flinging it with as much strength as he could muster towards the bed. Magic carried it the rest of the way, changing it into a small piece of folded white paper to rest on the boys’ bedside table.

With one last sigh of regret the boy turned staggering back threw the castle all the way up to the 7th floor and one special room opposite a tapestry showing Barnabas the Barmy.

As he opened the door to the Room of Requirements he entered into a small and dingy room with just one simple door. Seeming to relax a little more he walked across the room and pulled open the door crawling inside the small cupboard with only a few rags on the bottom and curling up he fell asleep.