Shiver

Isn’t it strange that even after the most horrible of things we still must sleep?  Even as our bodies fight to stay awake, because to sleep is to be vulnerable, even more vulnerable then we may currently be.

And yet we still must sleep.  Perhaps this is why people are able to sleep even with bombs going off all around them, or prisoners nod off on the eve of their execution.

Or how I managed to sleep in spite of my plans to make a quick escape once Draco tired of brutalizing me.

I would have laughed, I should have cried.  But I feel strange.  Detached.

Turning my head slightly I can see that I am laying on the floor, curled in a ball, and Malfoy is nowhere to be seen.

I know I should be afraid, but strangely I am not.  Everything is hazy.  Like I am not quite all here.  And yet strangely alert.

My head is throbbing, and my mouth is dry; drier then it’s ever been. 

Escape.

Like an animal in survival mode, that is all I can think about. I don’t care about Malfoy, or where he is or the fact that I fell asleep.  My entire world has narrowed to one single goal: escape.

How?

No windows.  The door is the best option, but that is dashed when Malfoy strolls past, shirtless, looking like he has showered.  He is humming softly and  I immediately fake like I am sleeping.

‘Good morning Ms. Granger, ‘He sweetly croons, as if he had seen me in class.  His gaze lazily travels up and down my naked body...

And inwardly I curse.  Of course he would know if I were faking.  It doesn’t take a genius to tell the difference.

Slowly I sit up and immediately regret it.

My stomach churns like I am experiencing the worse cramps ever.  It is all I can do to keep from crying out. 

I struggle to breathe, and for a minute everything turns black but I blink, and slowly everything is visible again.

And he flashes me a dazzling smile, ‘Last night was very educational, was it not?’ And he laughs at his own terrible humor, ‘I admit that was rather awful.  I am not entirely awake yet.  Oh don’t look at me like that Ms. Granger.’ And his tone becomes light, his gaze thoughtful, ‘I ask that you be patient, soon you won’t be able to—‘

There was a sharp rap at the door, and he glanced inquisitively at me, ‘I wonder who could that be?’

My vocal chords are raw, and my eyes tear up. I punch the floor angrily and he kisses the air before turning to the door, and he speaks in hushed tones to someone I can neither hear or see.

Opportunity has litteraly come knocking.

Focus!

I need to get out of here.  But how? No windows, not in the dungeons.  There’s but one exit, and Malfoy is blocking it, and the hopelessness of my situation begins to crush me.

In my heart I know that there is no escape.  That he is just going to do it allover again and in spite of myself I begin to cry because it isn’t fair. 

No no no no NO!

You stupid—stop it!

Malfoy is still at the door, his eyes slowly sliding over to me and I realize that if I am going to escape, I need to do it now before whoever is there leaves.

Hastily I grab my robe and pull it awkwardly around my nakedness and try to think. We’re in the dungeons. 

I need to escape, I need, I need….

My eyes drop to the fire, and then to the all too familiar powder near it.

Without even thinking, because Draco is beginning to close the door, I grab the powder, fling it into the fireplace, and scream out the first name the pops in my head.  Draco is running towards me, and I could have laughed even as the flames consume me.