Why him?

AN : I actually thought I had uploaded all chapters so far, was about to upload the last one when I realized I missed more than one chapter. I'm sooooo sorry, but this is how it goes when aff is so complicated, I have to add all the codes because the document doesn't want to upload.
Any R&R is highly appreciated. Thanks to my beta and every body who reads this.


After the conversation I had with the headmaster, I decided to find Harry and ask him what he wanted from me, but it didn't seem like it was meant to be. Every time I searched for Harry and finally found him he suddenly disappeared. It was almost like he knew I was coming. After many fruitless attempts in trying to get near him, I ended up having to ask a pathetic Gryffindor to let him know I was waiting for him outside their common room. I waited for what had to have been twenty long minutes, but Harry never came. Nor did the messenger come back to tell me he didn't want to see me, which made me even more angry.


It seemed that, in the end, I would be the one who would be doing the running around after him, but why? And why him?

Luckily for me I knew of other ways to speak to Harry, such as using one of his closest friends. One in particular I knew that surely wouldn't refuse me.

"Hey, Weasley," I called when I saw the red haired boy standing all alone in an empty corridor. He jumped when he first heard me and his face turned white when he realized I was walking towards him. I found it quite amusing how he looked more nervous than Longbottom did during a Potions exam. "Where in Salazars name is Harry?" I demanded to know.

"Zabini," Weasley began nervously, looking around like he was expecting someone to come and rescue him. Luckily for me, however, we we're completely alone, "Harry has a lot to do, with the exams and all that." Of course I didn't believe him; not only is the boy a bad liar but I knew that Harry was avoiding me.

"You like telling lies?" I asked devilishly.

"I'm not lying," he said in the same weak voice. I decided that the boy needed some persuading.

"Just tell me where he is," I said while taking a few steps forward, making him even more nervous than he already was, "and I won't punish you."

"What do you mean punish?" he asked warily.

I grinned, taking pleasure in his discomfort. "Maybe some spanking, hmm? Or maybe I should fuck you until you tell me, but then again for you that's more like pleasure, right?" Weasley swallowed hard and pulled his eyes away from me. I could see the blush creeping up his pale cheeks.

"He's in the library, in the back," he said quietly. I smiled at the frightened boy; the way he tried to avoid me was just too damn cute. Reminding myself that I needed to find Harry and speak to the spoiled brat, I thanked Weasley and pulled myself away from him. I hurriedly made my way to the library, getting there in no time with my quick pace. When I reached it I found Harry, just where Weasley said he would be.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" Harry snapped when he first saw me standing in between the large bookshelves filled with dusty old books. I couldn't help to smile; he was just too cute where he sat on the floor with his nose in the big book.

"I've been looking for you," I said irritably, ignoring his rude greeting.

"Congratulations, you found me, now get out of my way." He closed the book he was reading and rose up from the dirty floor. "Move, or I'll hex you," he said when I hadn't made any attempt to move out of his path. I wasn't sure what to do: should I laugh at his pathetic threat? Or should I try to stop him first? It wasn't an easy choice, but I decided to try the latter.

"Why have you been avoiding me? Do you know how much time I spent looking for you?"

"Since we're not together then I don't really care. And because we're not a couple there isn't any point in us talking either, is there?" There was something in his voice that made me sad. I hadn't thought about it before before because I didn't care much about what Harry wanted, but now I could clearly see that he was hurt. Of course I knew why, I'm not stupid, but I thought Harry of all people would have behaved a little more grown up and realized that I can't help being such an emotionless jerk. I wanted to say something to the hurting boy but he cut me off by pointing his wand directly at me. The smart thing to do would be to move out of his way, but my decision changed when Harry's emerald green eyes burned into me. I knew that my refusal to move wouldn't stop Harry, so, when he pushed me out of the way, I spoke loud enough for the other students to realize something was going on in the back of the library.

"I want you back." I would have preferred to have taken my time in getting to my main reason of being here, but I had to tell him the truth now, whether he wanted to hear it or not. I'd played this scenario through my mind several times, and every time I imagined him walking away from me, not looking back. But instead he stood still for a few seconds before he finally turned around and faced me. For a short second I thought that he would actually start moving towards me, jump into my arms and kiss me, but, of course, I wasn't so lucky.

"You want me back?" he croaked. "After what you put me through you think you only need to tell me you want me back, and then I'll say yes? What do you take me for? One of your dumb sluts?"

"Shut up, Harry, if you weren't spending all this time running away from me you would be able to see that I really want you back," I explained, not that it worked magic on Harry. He was still as stubborn as always.

"Yeah right, it's my fault." He let out a nervous laugh while balancing on each of his heels. "You only want me because you don't have me, and as soon as you've had me again you will leave me, again, so I don't think so, Blaise."

"Harry, come here," I ordered, ignoring his rude response. I didn't expect Harry to come any closer, but I was glad when he didn't move further away from me; I took that as a good sign. "I discussed our relationship with the headmaster, and he suggested I should ask you what you want from a relationship, because maybe my idea of a relationship isn't quite right."

"You think?" I didn't respond to Harry's comment, not because I didn't want to, but because I knew that, if I wasn't holding myself back, I would have walked over and slapped the little Gryffindor golden boy. I just didn't want to start another fight between us.

"I'll admit that I was wrong, but that's why I need to talk to you, so I can get your version of a relationship."

"It's too late for that Blaise," he said softly. It looked like he wanted to continue but instead he turned around and made to leave. Being denied by Harry made my hart ache; I hadn't thought that it would hurt so much. If I didn't care enough I would have just let him leave, but then again, if I didn't care enough I wouldn't have spent days looking for him. He had only taken three steps away from me before I ran over to him and grabbed his wrist, turned him around to face me and then with a hard tug I pulled him into my chest. I wrapped my arms around his slim waist and locked my fingers together to keep him from escaping. Having him so close made me warm all over, but I had things to do so I shook my head and continued with my so-called plan. Luckily for me he didn't shout, which made my next step much easier.

"I want you, Harry," I whispered. "If you leave me I'll find the Dark Lord and beg him to kill me. I... I don't think I can live without you." Everything I said shocked Harry. Heck, I even shocked myself at my openness, but still it didn't convince Harry who was staring at me with his mouth half open. That was when I decided that, before he could reject me again, I should at least get something as a last gift from him, so I pressed my lips against his half-open lips, pulling his body closer to mine until I was sure nothing or no one could tear us apart. After a few seconds I thought Harry had finally melted in my arms, but then he began to push me away, breaking the kiss. I could have kept him there but I couldn't make myself do something he clearly didn't want to do.

"I'm sick of your games, one day you want me and the next you want to be single," he hissed at me, eyes glowing and cheeks pink.

"I want us to be a couple."

Harry opened his mouth to protest, but nothing escaped his sweet lips.

"What?" he finally managed to say, I took that response as an invitation and kissed him again. When our lips parted the second time I was glad to see his eyes were still closed.

"I want us to be together," I repeated. It was too early, I knew that when I said it I wasn't ready for such a big step, but I couldn't let Harry walk away from me again.

"Are you sure?" he whispered. His eyes opened slowly and they burned into mine.

I should have told him I wasn't quite sure, but seeing his hope made me feel bad for even doubting us. "Yes." Harry smiled broadly and kissed me several times before he gave me one of the longest hugs I have ever had. I decided that even if I didn't feel ready I would try my best to please Harry. After all, I was the one who initiated the relationship again.

-o-

I should have known that as soon as one student saw us the whole school would know we were together. Even though it bothered me that they now knew even more gossip about me, I convinced myself I was fine with it, but only because it was for Harry. Luckily for me every thought of doubt left me when I saw how happy Harry was. Every time he kissed me sweetly, or just smiled at me lovingly my heart felt warmer and my head felt lighter. And those feelings scared me, because I didn't know I was capable of loving some one so much.

"How is it possible that Potter has managed tamed you?" Pansy asked the next day after recovering from the shocking news.

"He hasn't tamed me," I responded casually, ignoring her gasp of shock.

"You mean... you're going to continue fucking others?"

"No, Panse," I said with a sign. I knew she wouldn't understand. "I won't fuck anyone else, but... he hasn't tamed me."

"Taming doesn't mean settling down and having a house, job or a family you know," she pointed out. I wanted to hit her for giving me more things to worry about than before. But she was right; taming was not the same as settling down, but I still didn't like the idea of being tamed like some disobedient puppy.

"Nonetheless, he still hasn't tamed me. I just chose to change," I said haughtily. Pansy began to laugh at me, something I really didn't appreciate, especially since she was one of my best friends. "If you don't stop with this ridiculous behaviour soon I'll leave you, and once we're done with Hogwarts I'll never speak to you ever again."

"Oh come on Blaise, you can't get upset with me," she said once she had managed to gain some control over her laughs. "If you want to be with Potter then I'm fine with it. Of course I will still hate him, but I will accept anything you want."

"Thanks," I said, hoping she would stop speaking, which of course she wouldn't.

"You should be proud of yourself, you know," she continued. "How many can say they have been with The Harry Potter? Based on what I've heard he's never gone further than a kiss. Well, since before he met you." There was something in her voice that made me realize she was heading for something that would annoy me tremendously. "So how was he?" And there it was. I told her I would never talk about my experience with others, and she agreed to never ask, so it wasn't any surprise for either of us what my next answer was.

"That is for me to know and for you to never find out."

"You tease!" she squeaked, playfully punching my arm. "At least I know that he must be pretty good. You would never be with someone you didn't find interesting." At that moment I decided that we had spent too much time together. "And based on his athletic skills I would say he can last a long time... Ooh, but then again, considering his lack of... previous experience I would say that he can't last long, if you catch my drift." Things were beginning to get out of hand, which made me think seriously about breaking all connections with her. "Ah, but maybe he lasts longer because now you're in the picture. Should I continue or will you tell me how he really is?"

"If you continue I'll make sure you will never be able to hear, see or speak about such things, ever again." The threat wasn't for real, and it wasn't even the first time I had used it, but it seemed to always work, which made me happy.

"Mister Grumpy," she said with a laugh hiding behind her words. "So have you thought about what you want to do after school?" I looked over at her and nodded, happy that she finally decided to let Harry go and discuss something else, and more important.