Jaded

JADED

For Summery, warnings, spoilers and disclaimers see chapter one.
Many many thanks to my most amazing betas- Kat and Dragon.

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Chapter Twenty-Four: Listen to me

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Remus tapped his fingers on the parchment in front of him impatiently, he couldn’t concentrate, not when he knew that Jaime had managed to convince the prim and proper Miss Lily ‘Head Girl’ Evans to give him the password to the prefects’ bathroom (which he gladly shared with Remus, complete with the time that he was planning to go there), and here he was sitting in the library while pretending to study Potions for the last forty five minutes when all he could think about was Jaime’s naked form, all soapy and glistening with the water dripping and gliding down his spine like a lover’s fingers…

Remus rubbed his eyes and slid further down in his chair, cheeks flaming and eyes darting to see if anyone caught his 'little problem’. Well, schoolwork was obviously not a good distraction and right now he was sitting in the library with a raging hard-on just begging for attention and a boyfriend approximately half a mile away from him…

In order to solve this Remus decided to engage in his second-best fail proof plan (the first being of course picturing McGonagall, Pince and Pomfrey in a randy all girls and wrinkles orgy) which was to watch Sirius hit on every girl in the vicinity. There was just something in the way Sirius would gloat and wriggle his eyebrows and smile so wide that Remus wondered how he wasn’t in pain, that sent Remus off like nothing else but what was most disturbing in the process was the fact that the girls lapped it up and flirted back and there was little Remus found less repulsive than giggly, eyelash batting girls.

As soon as Remus was able to walk again without embarrassing himself he packed his things up and made his way to the prefects’ bathroom. The thought of all that Jaime naked skin making him nearly break in a run. The corridors were rather full, this being the evening ‘free-time’ for the students which meant there were far too many people around for Remus’ liking, clotting and clogging his way. He grunted and shoved his way through the throng, feeling like a complete idiot for nearly causing people physical harm just to get to a shag…
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Harry reclined back in the hot water pushing playfully at the big pink and blue bubbles that were floating his way. He hasn’t been in the prefects’ bathroom since that night with the golden egg, way back in his fourth year and for a long time the place was linked in his mind with Cedric’s death, but somewhere during his seventh year he managed to get rid of a lot of the guilt associated with Cedric and now he was ready to face the room again.

But right now he was torn between enjoying his bath time and scolding his boyfriend for not being there to enjoy it with him. He specifically told Remus when to show up but the werewolf hadn’t showed head nor hide so far. Harry huffed and hit yet another giant bubble, this time with more vengeance than before but the bubble didn't really seemed bothered by the force he used and floated gently to the other side of the tub, almost taunting Harry with its casualness.
Remus slipped into the room silently, mightily relieved to see his lover's dark head poking above the cover of multi-coloured and shaped bubbles. Normally Remus would take a couple of minutes to appreciate that room, only visiting a handful of times before since he was no prefect, but right now all he cared about was the promise of a naked and soapy Jaime. He quickly slipped out of his robes and shoes and walked naked to the edge of the huge tube,

"Got room for one more?" Harry jumped at the sound of the voice next to him, and that caused him to nearly lose his footfall and slip in a rather undignified manner. He caught himself on the edge of the bath and shakily smiled up at Remus,

"If you can find room to squeeze in…" He offered generously and Remus chuckled, before he slipped into the blissfully hot water and Harry's inviting arms. "There's something I need to talk to you ab…" Harry started, trying to get the bad news out of the way as soon as possible but Remus was not in the mood for talking and he effectively silenced Harry with a searing kiss.

"Gods, I've been dreaming about your body for the last forty five minutes, I am so horny right now…" He growled and Harry giggled,

"Well, far be it from me to stop you then…" 'Talking can wait, besides, a post coitus Remus was much easier to deal with,' Harry managed to think before Remus pulled him tight against him, pressing them from chest to groin and rubbing against Harry almost frantically. Harry closed his eyes and tossed his head back, letting himself be engulfed with the sensations, which seemed heightened by the hot water. Remus sought his boyfriend's mouth taking it in a deep kiss, not wanting to talk because lately whenever Harry had something to say it usually wasn’t that fun to deal with. Besides, it's been the longest forty-five minutes of his life and although technically he didn’t deserve a shag since he didn't complete any school work, he was naked, wet, horny and had an equally naked, wet, and horny boyfriend on his arms and Remus was not a fool!

Harry moaned into Remus' mouth suddenly eager to get things going. He jumped up slightly in the water, sending little waves of soapy water over the rim of the bath and wrapped his legs around Remus' waist and brought his lover closer, meshing their torsos together and tightening his arms around Remus' neck.

Remus wasted no time in preparing Harry, feeling the intensity burning in both of them. The first finger dragged a heartfelt groan from Harry. As smooth and nice as soap was it wasn't a real lubricant and that hurt a bit, but not enough to make him stop Remus. The second finger was much easier and soon Harry was rocking on the fingers inside him, begging wordlessly for something more. Remus smiled into their kiss, pulling his fingers out and repositioning Harry so that he could slip into that sinful heat with ease.

The mermaid on the wall looked at them for a while, but when it finally dawned on her where the course of action was leading she blushed deep crimson and slid off her rock and into the painted waves- clearly not a fangirl…

Together they gathered up the pace, rocking frantically and sending the water sloshing over the marble floor but neither of them cared. Harry's hand grabbed the bath's ledge trying to support himself against the frantic rhythm Remus was setting while his other hand clutched desperately to Remus' slippery shoulder. One of Remus' hands was grabbing his arse, trying to keep Harry close while the other ventured to Harry's somewhat neglected erection and fisted it, rubbing and rocking with an increased intensifying energy flux. Gods this was good, so bloody brilliant! Harder and faster they moved and Harry felt the need building inside him, rushing in his veins like a rocket ship on a collision course. He exploded, crying out Remus' name and arching his body back. The violent orgasm caught Remus with its ferocity and he soon followed his lover, shooting his load deep into his plaint boyfriend's body.

Harry slumped against Remus' shoulder, trembling and exhausted. He felt as weak as a newly born; he couldn't have even supported his own weight on his legs if Remus hadn’t been holding him so tight. For a long moment the two simply basked in each other's after-glow, holding each other tight as their chests heaved and their breaths laboured to get enough oxygen into their lungs through the heavy steam in the pool.

"Gods I needed that…" Remus whispered, rubbing his nose in the junction where Harry's shoulder met his neck,

"Then what the hell took you so long?" Remus grinned into Harry's skin,

"I was… studying…" He said as nonchalantly as he possibly could right now. Harry pushed him back to arm length and Remus tried his best coy and flirty smile, but Harry narrowed his eyes at him,

"You were using me as a 'reward time' again, weren’t you?" Remus spluttered with indigenes, doing his best to look hurt,

"No!" When Harry's brow rose in suspicion, Remus could barely hold his laughter no more, "Well, maybe…" Harry smacked him lightly on the arm, and pouted,

"I'm really starting to get offended by this!" He declared loudly. Remus gathered him close to him, again, murmuring into his boyfriend's hair,

"Don't be, it really does help me study…" Harry snorted in disbelief,

"Oh, yeah? What have you accomplished tonight then?"

"Well, let's see… I managed not to think of McGonagall naked…" Remus answered with a wide grin and Harry snorted out in laughter,

"Prat!"
Together the two made their way to the other side of the swimming pool size tub, pushing and shoving through the bubbles to reach the shallow end where there was a ledge running alongside the wall. Harry and Remus sat down, necks deep in hot water and simply relaxed for a while. Harry kept shooting sidelong glances at Remus, working up the courage to say what it was he needed saying.

"I need to tell you something."

"Oh, gods, is it bad news?" Remus was never good dealing with bad news, "Because I'm not yet up for another round and that's the only way I think of to shut you up." Harry smiled sadly; if only things were as simple… he'd give anything to be able to solve all his problems with a good fuck.

"I have to leave." Harry said softly, not daring to look at Remus lest he regret his decision more than he already did.

"That's ok; I'll see you back in the dorms." Harry shook his head, why was Remus insisting on making things more difficult than they should be?

"No, I mean I have to leave. Leave Hogwarts, I'm going back to… to Durmstrang…" How he hated lying to that man, how he longed to tell Remus everything, just come clean and hope for the best. But he shouldn’t, and he couldn’t and that was just the way things were. Harry, the little layer was going to break the heart of the last man he wanted to hurt. Life can be such a bitch sometimes.

"When?" Remus' voice was cold and shocked and Harry bit his lip hard to ease the pain in his heart,

"Three weeks." Remus closed his eyes,

"I see."

"Remus, I'm really really sorry, I… I only found out earlier today!" Harry tried to plead. As much as it hurt him to tell Remus the truth he knew he would never have been able to take Draco's advice because not telling Remus was not an option as far as he was concerned. Not telling Remus would mean sink lower in his web of lies and he knew that he would not be able to forgive himself when he saw the look in Remus' eyes when he left.

"Why do you have to go anyway? The year is almost over; it'd be daft to go back now." Remus argued reasonably, after all Harry would probably be able to take his NEWT's in Hogwarts just as easy as he would in Durmstrang.

"I can't explain this; you're going to have to trust me." Harry hated himself for saying that. What right did he have to ask Remus for his trust?

"How long have you known about this?"

"I told you, I only found out earlier…" Remus waved an impatient hand to shush Harry,

"No, you didn't! You knew from day one that you were going to go back to Durmstrang and you still tried to seduce me!" Remus accused wildly and Harry shrank into himself, he couldn't really deny what was truth. "Was our relationship all a lie, was it some sort of a game? Seduce the werewolf, get him to fall madly in love with you and then just take off? Was it some sort of sick bet with Alex?" Harry's eyes filled with tears, how can Remus be thinking that of him? After everything they've been through together?

"No!" He cried, blinking at the tears and trying to stop his bottom lip from trembling, "This isn't a game or a bet! I would never do anything as low as playing with you like that! I love you, I really, truly, honestly love you but there are things you don't know about me, things you don't understand and I can't tell you, but believe me I would never stoop so low as to seduce you on purpose just to leave you." He finished, the tears streaming down his cheeks and his breath hard.

"Then stay with me." Remus said quietly and Harry sobbed harder. He would give anything in the world to stay here, with the people he loved most, with his family.

"I can't."

"Why not?" Remus rubbed his forehead in frustration, this conversation was going in circles and he was learning nothing! He wanted answers, he needed reasons, and he wanted to know why Jaime was just walking away from what he proclaimed to be the best time of his life.

"I can't tell you." Remus wanted to laugh, a mad crazy laughter that would help release his inner daemons, circles, big fucking useless circles.

"And you ask me to trust you… You lied to me Jaime." Harry whipped his face furiously, trying to reach for Remus who recoiled from him, sending a fresh wave of tears to Harry's eyes,

"I love you."

"You know, that doesn’t sound half as convincing now."

"I know." The two sat down for a long moment, each absorbed in their own pain. Remus felt empty, knowing that he would soon be alone, all alone again, and this time it would be worse because this time he knew what he was missing. And Jaime was sitting there, crying because he had to go and Remus felt empty. He couldn't cry his eyes were stinging dry. How did things go so wrong so fast?

"So what now?" He asked softly, eyes fixed on the picture of the mermaid who peered behind the rock and looked rather vexed to see that both Harry and Remus were still there,

"We still have three weeks together." Remus shook his head,

"Three weeks is nothing!"

"So what do you want to do? Walk away?" Harry asked exasperatedly, refusing to believe that Remus would really leave him now,

"Maybe it's for the best."

"I can't stop you if you decide to leave, but I'm not going to be happy about it." Harry said quietly, his heart sinking so low he was pretty sure the house-elves would find it on the bottom of the bath when they come in tomorrow.

"Funny, I could say the same thing." Remus said dryly,

"So what do we do?"

"I honestly don't know. I need some time to think." Harry tightened his jaw and took a deep breath,

"I understand. I'll head back to the dorm." Remus nodded and Harry climbed out of the bath, his limbs heavy as if someone had replaced all the blood in his body with lead. He took a towel and dried himself slowly, donning his pyjamas on mechanically. He didn't dare to look at Remus, not wanting to burst in tears again, and left the bathroom.

The way back to the tower was quite uneventful, most of the students cleared off to their respective dorms and Harry trudged through empty corridors. When he reached the Gryffindor common room he headed straight to his room, not wanting to meet anyone, especially not James or Sirius, or worse, Lily. It was hard enough to tell Remus, he needed at least a day to recover before he could tell any of the others that he was leaving.

Harry lay in his bed looking at the canopy above him. It was like back then, in the days before he managed to convince Remus that he wanted him, just lying in bed, thinking of Remus. Harry rolled and buried his face in the pillow. He hated Dumbledore for sending them back, hated Draco for causing them to fall through the time alcove in the first place and hated himself for being so weak.

He had no idea how much time passed, none of his other roommates came into the room, so he figured it wasn’t curfew yet but then again, the Marauders weren’t really known for their following of the rules. A slight knock on his bed post caused Harry to jump up; he looked up and saw Remus standing by his bed, looking forlorn and defeated.

"Are you awake?" Harry sat up in bed and tried to ignore the desire to reach out and bring Remus close to him,

"Yes, I've been waiting for you." Remus nodded and sat on the edge of the bed, and Harry gathered his knees to his chest to avoid temptation, "Where you in the bath the whole time?"

"Yes." Remus said with a slight smile, holding his hand in front of him, and studying the wrinkled pads of his fingers,

"That was what? Three hours?" Harry frowned,

"Just about. That would explain why I'm so pruny." Remus wriggled his fingers at Harry who shook his head in fond amusement. "Can I stay here tonight?" Harry nearly sobbed with relief, he scooted to the edge of the bed, offering Remus place,

"Of course you can." He said in earnest and Remus smiled. He crawled under the covers and let Harry spell the pruniness away. They cuddled together, Remus' head resting on Harry's shoulder while the dark-haired boy's fingers carded through his tawny locks.

"I've been thinking about it, a lot, even my fingers were frowning…" Harry rolled his eyes; he would sorely miss this wonky sense of humour. "And I decided to have these three weeks with you. I mean I could sulk and mope just the same after you leave, so I might as well enjoy your undoubted charms while I still can." Harry let out a sigh of relief, his heart suddenly pounding in his ears,

"Oh, gods I'm so glad. I had a whole speech prepared to try and win you over."

"Was it any good?" Remus turned to lean on his elbow, looking Harry deep in the eye,

"Not really, I figured that as a last resort I'd use my body to get you to change your mind." He said with a wicked smile, which was mirrored by Remus,

"Hmm, that sounds like a splendid idea."
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A/N: Harry is too noble for his own good I tell you.