Scarred Souls
folder
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Snape
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
48
Views:
69,307
Reviews:
251
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
2
Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Snape
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
48
Views:
69,307
Reviews:
251
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
2
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Recriminations
*****************************************************
Title: Scarred Souls
Author: Misty Moonlight/Co-author: QueenBoadicea
Beta: QueenBoadicea
Pairings: Severus/Harry
Published: 12/10/2008
Summary: A widowed Harry must bond with Snape in order to save his daughter’s life. Sev gains a family, for better or worse, and the hearts of two scarred souls will be changed forever.
Warnings: Romance, Drama, Angst, Alternate Reality/Universe, Sexual Situations, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slash, Anal, Language, Humor, possible MPreg, Bonding, Original Characters, Family, non-canon, OOC, WIP
This is a formal apologia to everyone who may have been offended by the previous chapter. I should have listed “Rape” among the warnings posted. I didn’t read it as carefully as I should have and for that I am regretful. I shall strive to be more careful in the future. – QueenBoadicea
*****************************************************
Chapter 24: Recriminations
Harry stretched sleepily. He smiled, oddly contented. His body was loose and relaxed in a way he hadn’t known since Ginny’s death. For a moment, he was blissfully happy and he wasn’t sure why. He was in his own bed and—
The euphoria evaporated. He sat bolt upright, sheer horror echoing through him. He remembered now. He remembered everything.
Last night, he’d suddenly found Severus Snape the most fascinating and beautiful creature in the world. He’d taken him home from the restaurant, brought him to the bed and then… He trembled, shooting a glance at the other side of the bed. It was mercifully empty but that didn’t help banish the images that were churning in his mind.
Rage and sickness bubbled in him and the sickness won out. Harry clapped his hand over his mouth and ran towards the bathroom. He barely made it to the loo basin before puking up the remains of last night’s meal.
How could he have done something like that? How could he have defiled his dearly departed wife’s memory by having sex with Snape, of all people? It had to have been a spell or—
Oh shit. Snape had drugged him. He’d drugged him and then taken him to his bed like cheap whore. That bastard! That total and utter prat!
Harry staggered to the mirror and shuddered. His hair was a tangled mess, even more than usual, and he could see black-and-purple bruises of fingers on his shoulders. There was a red mark on his neck and scratches on his chest and arms, clear proofs of the wild sex he’d had last night. He barely resisted the urge to vomit again.
A small healing charm banished the marks and healed the minor contusions. But it couldn’t scrub the memory out of his mind. Harry jumped into the shower and ran the water as hot as he could stand it. It didn’t matter if he turned red as a lobster; he had to scour away every sign of what had happened last night.
He scrubbed harder, bile rising in his throat. It wasn’t just the sheer immorality of having been doped and taken advantage of; it was the memory itself. Snape hadn’t been awful to him while Harry was under the influence and he could have been. Harry had been so stupidly besotted with the man, he would have done anything Snape asked, including crawling naked over glass shards and tacks.
But Snape had been… Kind wasn’t the word he was looking for. Passionate. Eager. Out of control. Harry could still recall how Severus had looked, the obvious desire in his onyx eyes as he’d touched and explored Harry as Harry had touched and explored him.
The man’s expressions while he’d been fucking him... Merlin, Harry hadn’t thought Snape could look like that. The Slytherin’s face, flushed, open mouthed and panting, had been so crazed. Ginny hadn’t ever been so abandoned, not even during the heady first months of their marriage.
The Slytherin Potions master, so haughty and icy, had cried out for Harry’s touch. He had begged Harry to shag him rotten, had screamed out Harry’s name more than once, as if he couldn’t get enough of him. It was like the man had actually wanted him, not just used him.
His jaw twitched. That was a stupid idea. So what if Snape had experienced sexual satisfaction? He still hated Harry. Why else would he do something like this?
Harry finished his shower but he still felt unclean. Snape was going to pay for this.
********************************************************************
Severus tilted back in his chair and scrubbed at his eyes. Several large books lay at his elbow. None of them mentioned Regalious Fefandur or his ridiculous curse.
He’d been up until about seven this morning, going through the old tomes. He’d wanted to rouse the house-elf for a light breakfast or at least a stimulating tea but didn’t dare lest the beast wake Harry, something he was reluctant to do.
In spite of the time spent sitting in a hardwood chair, Severus’s body couldn’t forget the blissful moments he’d spent with his sleeping bond mate. The man had been so enthusiastic, so avid for Severus’s touch. True, it was just the potion’s influence, but he couldn’t help wondering if Harry would be as fiery if he weren’t under its power. His cock twitched faintly, definitely interested in going another round with the Gryffindor.
It was pleasant to fantasize, especially since Severus didn’t allow himself to indulge in it often. He was too pragmatic for that.
Shelving the memory for the moment, he stood, feeling the vertebrae in his spine pop. He might as well call it a day. Hopefully, he could get back to the cottage before Potter awoke.
He had just stepped out of the door when the fist came flying out of nowhere, catching him in the eye.
“YOU SHIT!”
The blow was so swift and hard and completely without warning that Severus’s head snapped back and he toppled to the floor.
Harry stood over him, shaking all over, emerald eyes sparking with fury, both fists clenched as if about to strike Severus again. He was wearing little more than a dark blue bathrobe. It had fallen upon with his violent moving towards Severus, revealing a pair of tight Y-fronts. If he weren’t in so much pain, Severus would have appreciated the delectable picture Harry made.
Severus struggled to sit up, wincing from the agony blooming in his face. It seemed that Harry had picked up some bad habits from the Weasleys. Severus just hadn’t expected a physical assault. With his rotten luck, he’d be sporting another black eye.
He should have Obliviated the man and wondered that he had not. “Good morning to you too, husband,” he drawled.
“Get up, you sack of grindylow droppings,” Harry snarled.
“So you can assault me again?” Severus wordlessly Summoned his wand and pointed it at Harry. Harry bared his teeth and his own wand snapped out. The former Death Eater and Boy Who Lived faced each other, wands at the ready. The air sparked with the repressed magic just waiting to be unleashed.
Severus rose carefully to his feet. He had been hoping to have an amicable conversation about last night but perhaps that was too much to hope. A suffocating sensation, very like despair, welled up in him before he ruthlessly squashed it.
Well, he’d always known how to push Harry’s buttons and was certain he could gain the upper hand. “Really, Potter. I don’t see why you’re so upset. A good time was had by all and this was the objective, was it not? For the two of us to get along better?”
“Through gradual understanding and conversation, not with a filthy potion! What is wrong with you, Snape? Are you completely amoral?” Harry snapped.
It seemed there was to be no reasoning with the man. Severus didn’t want to resign himself to the man’s hatred, but what choice was Harry giving him? “Potter, what else do you expect of me? I’m a Slytherin. And I hardly got bonded to you out of love or friendship. I made that very clear to you,” he said coldly.
Harry’s lip trembled. Merlin, had he actually reduced the boy to tears? Severus felt no flash of triumph but before he could pursue his advantage, Harry continued, his voice gone deathly quiet.
“My mother was lucky to lose your friendship, Snape. You probably would have drugged and raped her if you’d stayed together.”
The words were like a slap in the face. Severus couldn’t believe Harry would say anything so hurtful. Any idea of calming the other man was lost as he immediately retaliated. “I don’t see why you’re so upset, Potter. I certainly had no complaints last night and I was the one being fucked, in case you’ve forgotten.”
“You think that makes any difference? I didn’t want you last night. I was drugged! It doesn’t matter if I was the one on top; this wasn’t what I wanted and you took advantage of me!”
“This is so like you, Potter! Whinging and complaining how awful life is for you, you, you!” Severus snarled. “No matter how the circumstances, you and I both got what we wanted out of the situation. It was pleasurable and there was no harm done. I certainly can’t say the same about the many times I was forced to endure the Cruciatus because of Lord Voldemort’s displeasure. You have no idea what I suffered on your account to keep you safe from his clutches and did I get any thanks from you? You got all the glory and the adulation of the Wizarding World. What did I receive?”
He drew in a long breath. “Well, last night I got just what everybody else wanted—a taste of the Boy Who Lived.”
There was a thin white line around Harry’s mouth. His wand shook. But when he spoke again, his voice had gone flat, without a hint of emotion.
“I don’t know what you want with Grimmauld Place, Snape, and I don’t care. I just hope whatever you’re looking for is worth losing every bit of trust I ever had in you.”
“Believe me, Potter, I shall live very well without—”
Suddenly, Severus’s back arched and he let out a cry of pain. Unable to stop himself, he fell to the floor again and began convulsing, racked with agony.
“Snape?” The Gryffindor’s face was twisted with suspicion and then alarm. “Snape!”
Snape wanted to talk to him, to tell him to go to the cottage and get his antivenin potions. But his teeth were clacking like castanets and he was unable to form a single word.
Harry knelt by his side and tried to hold him down even though he was shaking violently. Managing to grab hold of Harry’s robe, Severus stared him in the eyes, willing him to understand. “Look at me…”
Harry saw images unfolding: rows of bottles filled with an unknown potion neatly lining Severus’s shelf in his cottage bedroom. There was another vision, slightly blurred, of Severus himself falling into a fit and then draining one of the bottles.
The scenes faded away abruptly, leaving Severus ashen and still on the library floor.
“Snape? Snape!” Harry shouted but his bond mate had fallen unconscious.
He didn’t know what was wrong with the man but figured he hadn’t a moment to lose. Harry decided not to waste time calling for Kreacher; he got the distinct impression that the house-elf didn’t like his bond mate. He recalled all too vividly Kreacher’s dislike and betrayal of Sirius. He wasn’t about to leave the Potions master in his dubious care.
Harry levitated Snape to a couch in the living room and ran to the floo. Snatching up a fistful of glittering powder, he called out the address of the cottage and stepped into the flames.
********************************************************************
When Albus and James awoke, they didn’t bother getting dressed but rushed to the bedroom door. The humiliation of being picked up like little babies and dumped in their room was awful. But it didn’t hurt so much as how their own daddy had ignored them and watched Count Dracula hit them with a spell. It was like their father had become a different person and it scared them deeply.
They tried the door. It had refused to budge last night but this time it opened. They both jumped when they saw Kreacher standing there, holding their little sister. Although Lily was not very big, Kreacher’s bent frame made him look almost the same size as he tried to control her squirming body.
“Young Potters, where is your father?”
“He’s not here?” Albus asked, his voice high pitched with worry.
“He is not. I have checked his room and the adjacent chambers and the attic. He is not to be found and Miss Lily is fussing and refusing to eat unless her father shows.”
The twins looked at each other uncertainly. James didn’t know what was going on. His father was acting weird and he suspected it was Snape’s fault. “Is Snivellus still around?”
“If young James refers to Snape, I don’t know. But I will look—after I have served breakfast for you all.”
The boys could barely concentrate on what Kreacher put in front of them although they were so hungry they ate all their breakfast without fussing. Lily whimpered but Kreacher managed to coax her to eat a little soft egg and banana.
“Maybe Daddy went back to the cottage,” Albus murmured to his brother.
“Without us? Why would he do that?” James asked.
“I don’t know.” It didn’t make sense to Albus. Their father had been so weird last night and now he was gone without telling them. Had he abandoned them and run off with their stepdaddy? The thought of losing his father as he’d lost his mother almost made Albus cry. But he didn’t want to seem like a crybaby in front of his brother.
Kreacher tilted his head. “I hear something, young Potters.”
“You do? I don’t hear anything.”
Kreacher’s large ears flapped. “I have something of an advantage,” he said dryly. “Come with me, young masters.”
They followed Kreacher, too worried about their father to laugh at his bandy-legged gait while he struggled under the weight of their sister. They approached the massive living room and found the door ajar. Signalling Kreacher to stop, they held their breaths as they listened to the sounds coming from inside.
TBC
Title: Scarred Souls
Author: Misty Moonlight/Co-author: QueenBoadicea
Beta: QueenBoadicea
Pairings: Severus/Harry
Published: 12/10/2008
Summary: A widowed Harry must bond with Snape in order to save his daughter’s life. Sev gains a family, for better or worse, and the hearts of two scarred souls will be changed forever.
Warnings: Romance, Drama, Angst, Alternate Reality/Universe, Sexual Situations, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slash, Anal, Language, Humor, possible MPreg, Bonding, Original Characters, Family, non-canon, OOC, WIP
This is a formal apologia to everyone who may have been offended by the previous chapter. I should have listed “Rape” among the warnings posted. I didn’t read it as carefully as I should have and for that I am regretful. I shall strive to be more careful in the future. – QueenBoadicea
*****************************************************
Chapter 24: Recriminations
Harry stretched sleepily. He smiled, oddly contented. His body was loose and relaxed in a way he hadn’t known since Ginny’s death. For a moment, he was blissfully happy and he wasn’t sure why. He was in his own bed and—
The euphoria evaporated. He sat bolt upright, sheer horror echoing through him. He remembered now. He remembered everything.
Last night, he’d suddenly found Severus Snape the most fascinating and beautiful creature in the world. He’d taken him home from the restaurant, brought him to the bed and then… He trembled, shooting a glance at the other side of the bed. It was mercifully empty but that didn’t help banish the images that were churning in his mind.
Rage and sickness bubbled in him and the sickness won out. Harry clapped his hand over his mouth and ran towards the bathroom. He barely made it to the loo basin before puking up the remains of last night’s meal.
How could he have done something like that? How could he have defiled his dearly departed wife’s memory by having sex with Snape, of all people? It had to have been a spell or—
Oh shit. Snape had drugged him. He’d drugged him and then taken him to his bed like cheap whore. That bastard! That total and utter prat!
Harry staggered to the mirror and shuddered. His hair was a tangled mess, even more than usual, and he could see black-and-purple bruises of fingers on his shoulders. There was a red mark on his neck and scratches on his chest and arms, clear proofs of the wild sex he’d had last night. He barely resisted the urge to vomit again.
A small healing charm banished the marks and healed the minor contusions. But it couldn’t scrub the memory out of his mind. Harry jumped into the shower and ran the water as hot as he could stand it. It didn’t matter if he turned red as a lobster; he had to scour away every sign of what had happened last night.
He scrubbed harder, bile rising in his throat. It wasn’t just the sheer immorality of having been doped and taken advantage of; it was the memory itself. Snape hadn’t been awful to him while Harry was under the influence and he could have been. Harry had been so stupidly besotted with the man, he would have done anything Snape asked, including crawling naked over glass shards and tacks.
But Snape had been… Kind wasn’t the word he was looking for. Passionate. Eager. Out of control. Harry could still recall how Severus had looked, the obvious desire in his onyx eyes as he’d touched and explored Harry as Harry had touched and explored him.
The man’s expressions while he’d been fucking him... Merlin, Harry hadn’t thought Snape could look like that. The Slytherin’s face, flushed, open mouthed and panting, had been so crazed. Ginny hadn’t ever been so abandoned, not even during the heady first months of their marriage.
The Slytherin Potions master, so haughty and icy, had cried out for Harry’s touch. He had begged Harry to shag him rotten, had screamed out Harry’s name more than once, as if he couldn’t get enough of him. It was like the man had actually wanted him, not just used him.
His jaw twitched. That was a stupid idea. So what if Snape had experienced sexual satisfaction? He still hated Harry. Why else would he do something like this?
Harry finished his shower but he still felt unclean. Snape was going to pay for this.
********************************************************************
Severus tilted back in his chair and scrubbed at his eyes. Several large books lay at his elbow. None of them mentioned Regalious Fefandur or his ridiculous curse.
He’d been up until about seven this morning, going through the old tomes. He’d wanted to rouse the house-elf for a light breakfast or at least a stimulating tea but didn’t dare lest the beast wake Harry, something he was reluctant to do.
In spite of the time spent sitting in a hardwood chair, Severus’s body couldn’t forget the blissful moments he’d spent with his sleeping bond mate. The man had been so enthusiastic, so avid for Severus’s touch. True, it was just the potion’s influence, but he couldn’t help wondering if Harry would be as fiery if he weren’t under its power. His cock twitched faintly, definitely interested in going another round with the Gryffindor.
It was pleasant to fantasize, especially since Severus didn’t allow himself to indulge in it often. He was too pragmatic for that.
Shelving the memory for the moment, he stood, feeling the vertebrae in his spine pop. He might as well call it a day. Hopefully, he could get back to the cottage before Potter awoke.
He had just stepped out of the door when the fist came flying out of nowhere, catching him in the eye.
“YOU SHIT!”
The blow was so swift and hard and completely without warning that Severus’s head snapped back and he toppled to the floor.
Harry stood over him, shaking all over, emerald eyes sparking with fury, both fists clenched as if about to strike Severus again. He was wearing little more than a dark blue bathrobe. It had fallen upon with his violent moving towards Severus, revealing a pair of tight Y-fronts. If he weren’t in so much pain, Severus would have appreciated the delectable picture Harry made.
Severus struggled to sit up, wincing from the agony blooming in his face. It seemed that Harry had picked up some bad habits from the Weasleys. Severus just hadn’t expected a physical assault. With his rotten luck, he’d be sporting another black eye.
He should have Obliviated the man and wondered that he had not. “Good morning to you too, husband,” he drawled.
“Get up, you sack of grindylow droppings,” Harry snarled.
“So you can assault me again?” Severus wordlessly Summoned his wand and pointed it at Harry. Harry bared his teeth and his own wand snapped out. The former Death Eater and Boy Who Lived faced each other, wands at the ready. The air sparked with the repressed magic just waiting to be unleashed.
Severus rose carefully to his feet. He had been hoping to have an amicable conversation about last night but perhaps that was too much to hope. A suffocating sensation, very like despair, welled up in him before he ruthlessly squashed it.
Well, he’d always known how to push Harry’s buttons and was certain he could gain the upper hand. “Really, Potter. I don’t see why you’re so upset. A good time was had by all and this was the objective, was it not? For the two of us to get along better?”
“Through gradual understanding and conversation, not with a filthy potion! What is wrong with you, Snape? Are you completely amoral?” Harry snapped.
It seemed there was to be no reasoning with the man. Severus didn’t want to resign himself to the man’s hatred, but what choice was Harry giving him? “Potter, what else do you expect of me? I’m a Slytherin. And I hardly got bonded to you out of love or friendship. I made that very clear to you,” he said coldly.
Harry’s lip trembled. Merlin, had he actually reduced the boy to tears? Severus felt no flash of triumph but before he could pursue his advantage, Harry continued, his voice gone deathly quiet.
“My mother was lucky to lose your friendship, Snape. You probably would have drugged and raped her if you’d stayed together.”
The words were like a slap in the face. Severus couldn’t believe Harry would say anything so hurtful. Any idea of calming the other man was lost as he immediately retaliated. “I don’t see why you’re so upset, Potter. I certainly had no complaints last night and I was the one being fucked, in case you’ve forgotten.”
“You think that makes any difference? I didn’t want you last night. I was drugged! It doesn’t matter if I was the one on top; this wasn’t what I wanted and you took advantage of me!”
“This is so like you, Potter! Whinging and complaining how awful life is for you, you, you!” Severus snarled. “No matter how the circumstances, you and I both got what we wanted out of the situation. It was pleasurable and there was no harm done. I certainly can’t say the same about the many times I was forced to endure the Cruciatus because of Lord Voldemort’s displeasure. You have no idea what I suffered on your account to keep you safe from his clutches and did I get any thanks from you? You got all the glory and the adulation of the Wizarding World. What did I receive?”
He drew in a long breath. “Well, last night I got just what everybody else wanted—a taste of the Boy Who Lived.”
There was a thin white line around Harry’s mouth. His wand shook. But when he spoke again, his voice had gone flat, without a hint of emotion.
“I don’t know what you want with Grimmauld Place, Snape, and I don’t care. I just hope whatever you’re looking for is worth losing every bit of trust I ever had in you.”
“Believe me, Potter, I shall live very well without—”
Suddenly, Severus’s back arched and he let out a cry of pain. Unable to stop himself, he fell to the floor again and began convulsing, racked with agony.
“Snape?” The Gryffindor’s face was twisted with suspicion and then alarm. “Snape!”
Snape wanted to talk to him, to tell him to go to the cottage and get his antivenin potions. But his teeth were clacking like castanets and he was unable to form a single word.
Harry knelt by his side and tried to hold him down even though he was shaking violently. Managing to grab hold of Harry’s robe, Severus stared him in the eyes, willing him to understand. “Look at me…”
Harry saw images unfolding: rows of bottles filled with an unknown potion neatly lining Severus’s shelf in his cottage bedroom. There was another vision, slightly blurred, of Severus himself falling into a fit and then draining one of the bottles.
The scenes faded away abruptly, leaving Severus ashen and still on the library floor.
“Snape? Snape!” Harry shouted but his bond mate had fallen unconscious.
He didn’t know what was wrong with the man but figured he hadn’t a moment to lose. Harry decided not to waste time calling for Kreacher; he got the distinct impression that the house-elf didn’t like his bond mate. He recalled all too vividly Kreacher’s dislike and betrayal of Sirius. He wasn’t about to leave the Potions master in his dubious care.
Harry levitated Snape to a couch in the living room and ran to the floo. Snatching up a fistful of glittering powder, he called out the address of the cottage and stepped into the flames.
********************************************************************
When Albus and James awoke, they didn’t bother getting dressed but rushed to the bedroom door. The humiliation of being picked up like little babies and dumped in their room was awful. But it didn’t hurt so much as how their own daddy had ignored them and watched Count Dracula hit them with a spell. It was like their father had become a different person and it scared them deeply.
They tried the door. It had refused to budge last night but this time it opened. They both jumped when they saw Kreacher standing there, holding their little sister. Although Lily was not very big, Kreacher’s bent frame made him look almost the same size as he tried to control her squirming body.
“Young Potters, where is your father?”
“He’s not here?” Albus asked, his voice high pitched with worry.
“He is not. I have checked his room and the adjacent chambers and the attic. He is not to be found and Miss Lily is fussing and refusing to eat unless her father shows.”
The twins looked at each other uncertainly. James didn’t know what was going on. His father was acting weird and he suspected it was Snape’s fault. “Is Snivellus still around?”
“If young James refers to Snape, I don’t know. But I will look—after I have served breakfast for you all.”
The boys could barely concentrate on what Kreacher put in front of them although they were so hungry they ate all their breakfast without fussing. Lily whimpered but Kreacher managed to coax her to eat a little soft egg and banana.
“Maybe Daddy went back to the cottage,” Albus murmured to his brother.
“Without us? Why would he do that?” James asked.
“I don’t know.” It didn’t make sense to Albus. Their father had been so weird last night and now he was gone without telling them. Had he abandoned them and run off with their stepdaddy? The thought of losing his father as he’d lost his mother almost made Albus cry. But he didn’t want to seem like a crybaby in front of his brother.
Kreacher tilted his head. “I hear something, young Potters.”
“You do? I don’t hear anything.”
Kreacher’s large ears flapped. “I have something of an advantage,” he said dryly. “Come with me, young masters.”
They followed Kreacher, too worried about their father to laugh at his bandy-legged gait while he struggled under the weight of their sister. They approached the massive living room and found the door ajar. Signalling Kreacher to stop, they held their breaths as they listened to the sounds coming from inside.
TBC