Only through the pain

Disclaimer: Too sleepy to think of anything funny. If you feel like suing me for something, see the above disclaimer and go do something naughty to yourself XP.

Warning: Stupid, sleepy author alert!

A/N: Ok,so first of all, omg, I am SO sorry. See, yesterday at 6:00 AM (PST) I got my mom out the door with my twins, Blondie leaves at 6:10 for a business trip, I laid down on the couch and at 6:15 there's a knock on the door. I get up, go the door and there's my mother, with my babies.
"What's the matter ma?" I ask, yawning, "Did you forget something?"
"What in heaven's name are you mumbling about dear? You know, you shouldn't mumble, it'll teach the children poor annunciation." She said, and handed me Maeve. "I'm sorry I'm late, but Trevor came over and you know how it goes."
"Late? What are YOU talking about? You barely left ten minutes ago." I say, pointing at the clock. "See? 6:18."
"PM dear."
"PM? I have some midol in the cupboard....." (I was very sleepy)
"No, dear, it's 6:18, PM." I blink, still confused. "It's 6 at NIGHT." Blink, blink. "Sweetheart, it's nighttime, I've been gone ALL DAY....did you hit your head again?"
"What? No! It can't be! I just laid down two seconds ago!"
"You slept through the entire day? Darling, I'm concerned about you now, you know it's not healthy to sleep that much." Etc. Etc. "Maybe I should take Maeve and Julius home with me for the night..."
"No mom, that's ok....I'm alright...6 at night! Jee....wilikers....(mom hates people taking god's name in vain)...." And yes, so, apparently I slept all day on the couch, and then had to take care of Maeve and Julius all night by myself because Blondie's out of town until Sunday, which is why there was no update yesterday. I was sleeping.....alright, feel free to pelt me with tomatoes now. Today's chapter, Leave out all the rest, Linkin Park.

Chapter 20- Leave out all the rest (Draco)

I was in deep shit. I was happy being with Harry, but I was in deep, deep shit. I still hadn't told him about my induction on Halloween. Ginny had been cornering me damn near everyday to ask me if I had, and I had a good collection of shoe-shaped bruises to show for my 'not yet' answers. She even threatened to castrate me if I flat out didn't tell him, and I'd known Ginny long enough now to know she wasn't kidding. But how could I tell him?

Yeah, that first night it seemed like he was perfectly fine, but I knew that was probably because of whatever Gin had slipped into his juice, and sure enough, after that I could see how hard it was for Harry to let me even hold his hand sometimes, so how could I tell him that I HAD to become a death eater? He'd never let me near him again and I don't think I could handle that, and I don't think he could either. Even Ginny agreed with me on that point. Harry, while reluctant to allow physical affection from me, had visibly changed. He was happier, he smiled, even when he wasn't stoned, and he'd stopped cutting.

I don't think he meant for me to see the scars, and I doubt he would have ever told me, but I had a pretty firm idea that that was what he had been doing in the garden. Didn't I have a few fading similar scars from before I'd learned to deal with my father's abusiveness? I didn't want to ever go back to that, and I didn't want Harry to either. There were better ways of dealing with the pain, or the stress, or the total numbness that leads to cutting. I wanted to be there for him to talk to, and I wanted him to trust me enough TO talk to me if he had a problem, and I think he did. I still checked his arms stealthily every now and then to make sure he wasn't starting up again though, especially once Ginny told me that he had promised HER not to and still did.

He was happier. It was so easy to see, and slowly, he was letting me in completely. He hadn't been forcing himself to stay calm when I held him earlier in the Chamber. He hadn't been scared or distant or uncertain last night, or the night before. He was beginning to live freely and trust more, but I needed more time before I could tell him about my father and how he had arranged my mark before he went to prison...unfortunately, I didn't have more time.

Ginny had cornered me on the way to class and had threatened me again, but this time, it looked almost like she was crying.

"Don't you dare keep hiding this from him Malfoy, it's going to hurt him so badly and you've made so much progress. He's smiling again! Do you KNOW how hard we've been trying to get him to really smile at us again?! Do you?! God, you are so stupid! Building his trust in you BEFORE you told him is just going to ensure that it all comes tumbling down when he finds out you were hding this from him. Tell him today, Draco. You have to. He HAS to know." I heard her saying in my head as Harry sat in the seat next to me, joking about that damned bet going around the school. "Tell him."

"Yeah Harry...about Halloween....There's something I need to tell you, and it's kind of bad." I said quickly.

"Oh?" He frowned, "How bad? Is it a 'troll in the dungeons' kind of bad or a 'evil killer basilisk on the loose' kind of bad? Because frankly, I'm sick of Halloween always sucking."

"Uhm....it's more of a 'I have to....'"

"Harry! There you are my dear boy! I hear Flitwick gave you detention? Not to worry, not to worry, I'll speak to him about it. No harm in having a little fun, eh? Actually, it's rather urgent that you come to my office right away. We need to talk about tomorrow night." Dumbledore,that old, senile bastard, interrupted, appearing in the classroom out of thin air. "Come along then!"

"But Professor, what about Malfoy?" Harry asked, standing up, "he was just 'having a little fun' too."

"Ah...yes, well I'm sure mister Malfoy has some preparations of his own to make for Halloween, so he's excused as well." Dumbledore said, giving me the oddest of looks. He knew. Severus must have told him. And now he was going to take Harry aside and tell him so that Harry went back to hating me. God damned twinkly bastard. "Isn't that right mister Malfoy? Big, special plans, if I'm not mistaken."

"No." I said, standing and clenching my fists, "Not special at all...sir. In fact, I'm not looking forward to it in the slightest." I said pointedly at Harry, hoping to communicate that much at least before Dumbledore got to him. "I'm only doing it for my mother's sake."

"Doing what?" Harry asked, frowning suspiciously at all my eye gesturing, "Sir, I think I need to take Malfoy to the hospital wing, something seems to be wrong with his eyes."

"Hmmm..." Dumbledore muttered and I tried to look like something really WAS wrong with my eyes, "Quite right, quite right. Can't have him walking into any walls and getting an unsightly bruise now could we? Right then, Harry, take Mister Malfoy to the infirmary and then come directly to my office." Dumbledore said, and swept out of the room.

"Weird old bat." Harry muttered, "Now, what's up Draco? You look like you're having some kind of seizure."

I took a deep breath. No time to lose. Harry couldn't find out from Dumbledore. "Harry, I have to...."

"Draco!" Severus snapped, coming into the room. "Professor Dumbledore says you need to be escorted to the Hospital wing. Potter? Don't you have anywhere better to be?"

"Not really, sir." Harry said, rolling his eyes. "Why? Do you know of somewhere better I could be?"

"Yes!" Snape snapped, "You could be heading to Dumbledore's office as he asked you to. I will take Draco to Pomfrey."

I was now twitching. God....damn....iteruptions! "Harry! I have to become a Death Eater!" I shouted, over his bickering match with my uncle....well....that shut them up....

A/N: and I'm sorry about the shortness, but I have to run, Maeve is crying!