Low Man Is Due
folder
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Snape
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
30
Views:
21,767
Reviews:
98
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Snape
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
30
Views:
21,767
Reviews:
98
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
If you can understand the me, then I can ...
Hi all! I wrote this straight after finishing the previous chapter, but becuase my darling brother and chum came over, I had to submit to being battered on Lego Star Wars rather than update this!
OK, reviewers:
Visitkarte - Thank you for the new reviews.
Jilliane - And you too. I know you want the new chapter, so here it is. Don't blame me if you scream at the end!
Dirty_Darella - Here is Harry's reaction. Enjoy!
Cravedom - I don't know where that image of Luc came from *grins*, now stop being a wuss and read! Thanks for the review. In answer to your problems with Severus - there is a reason, but, as always, it's not revealed yet!
Enjoy! SP
Chapter six: If you can understand the me, then I can understand the you
Laughter filled the room. Not quiet, humourous laughter, but cold, sneering, hysterical laughter. It bounced off the stone walls until it mutated, the echoes ugly and cruel. It rung in Severus’ ears, but he stood still and let the other man react, knowing such a reaction was the best he could have expected. It wasn’t the best he could have hoped for, but it was the best response that his rational brain could imagine.
“Forgive me?” Harry queried once he had stopped laughing. His voice was cruel and his eyes cold. “You want forgiveness?”
Some dam had broken in Harry upon hearing Snape’s voice again. The veil he had hidden behind whilst in his coma was being torn apart by this man. He felt his calm being stripped from him, his protection vanishing…
Severus looked at the younger man. There was something, some unease in that mostly expressionless face that told him Harry wasn’t as in control as he might like to believe. He took a gamble. “Don’t you?” He saw the confusion come into those green eyes and clarified, “Want forgiveness?”
He saw the youngster take a sharp breath, saw the eyes go glacier cold, and felt a shiver of fear walk up his spine. He mentally shook himself. This was Harry. His Harry. The boy was merely locking his emotions away, and letting a few rise to the surface, and, yes, Snape was a little cautious around the younger man, but he had to be, the threat of Azkaban still hung over his head.
“I did nothing wrong,” Harry’s voice was harsh, a hiss to it. “I did everything right, and still I was punished.”
Snape raised an eyebrow. “I remember you begging for your friend to suffer. Not very noble of you, was it?”
The green-eyed man paced the floor, jaw clenched, eyes angry. He had been so locked away recently that any of his friends would have been relieved to see the fury radiating off him. At last he was living in the real world. But, he was beginning to remember, the real world was a place of danger and pain.
“You lied to me, made me watch my friend be nearly beaten to death, then used that against me to force my co-operation from you. Having done what you wished to me, you then let Malfoy do as he wished. You knew what he was like and you did nothing to protect me, nothing to stop him.
“I came back from his attentions and all you did was delay anymore attentions. You carted me off and healed my wounds, why? So you could convince yourself you were the good guy in all of this? Then you try and break me, try and make me accept my future. Do everything you can to ruin me, and you succeed. You made me think of my own survival and give up my best friend to those animals.”
He paused, gasping for breath. His voice had almost given out on him at various points, but he had forced himself on. He wanted the other to understand what he had done to Harry.
“And you want forgiveness.” A sob broke from his chest and his knees buckled under him. Head bowed he simply knelt there, moans shaking his slender form.
Severus took a step towards the man he had so hurt, then stopped, abruptly. He had no right to touch Harry. And worse, to do so was to invite Azkaban.
“Why?”
The word was so simple, yet the expression behind it was filled with everything Harry had suffered: not just the physical abuses, but the sleepless nights, the self-harming, the coma, the veil. All of it rushed out and made Severus’ heart ache to hear it.
And how could Severus answer such a question? The word was so simple, but how to explain when the answer was so complicated?
He cleared his throat.
“Why?” Harry asked, whispering this time, “Why do I feel like this?”
Snape felt tears trickle from his full eyes. His beautiful Harry, so undone, so destroyed by those hours spent in Death Eater ‘care’.
“How can I want you?” he said, voice lost and terrified. “How can I dream of you over me, in me after what you did?”
Nothing stirred.
Severus hardly dared to breathe. His heart thumped wildly within his chest at the boy’s words. And then reality came crashing down – Harry would never allow him to touch. Would never spread his legs and be entered by Severus. He, Snape, had had his one chance with Harry, and the situation had dictated his own ruin. He could never be with Harry. Never.
Snuffling, like a wounded animal, Harry got up onto shaky legs. Snape watched as the younger man moved slowly towards the door. He rest his head on it for a long time before he turned.
Just a frightened boy now, not a man, and, voice shaking with deep emotion, he spoke. “I loved you.”
----
18/08/08 - OK, when I posted this, it was all there (believe me, I checked!) so I have no idea why AFF decided to cut off half of it. Sorry about that guys. *Goes off into a corner and screams* SP
OK, reviewers:
Visitkarte - Thank you for the new reviews.
Jilliane - And you too. I know you want the new chapter, so here it is. Don't blame me if you scream at the end!
Dirty_Darella - Here is Harry's reaction. Enjoy!
Cravedom - I don't know where that image of Luc came from *grins*, now stop being a wuss and read! Thanks for the review. In answer to your problems with Severus - there is a reason, but, as always, it's not revealed yet!
Enjoy! SP
Chapter six: If you can understand the me, then I can understand the you
Laughter filled the room. Not quiet, humourous laughter, but cold, sneering, hysterical laughter. It bounced off the stone walls until it mutated, the echoes ugly and cruel. It rung in Severus’ ears, but he stood still and let the other man react, knowing such a reaction was the best he could have expected. It wasn’t the best he could have hoped for, but it was the best response that his rational brain could imagine.
“Forgive me?” Harry queried once he had stopped laughing. His voice was cruel and his eyes cold. “You want forgiveness?”
Some dam had broken in Harry upon hearing Snape’s voice again. The veil he had hidden behind whilst in his coma was being torn apart by this man. He felt his calm being stripped from him, his protection vanishing…
Severus looked at the younger man. There was something, some unease in that mostly expressionless face that told him Harry wasn’t as in control as he might like to believe. He took a gamble. “Don’t you?” He saw the confusion come into those green eyes and clarified, “Want forgiveness?”
He saw the youngster take a sharp breath, saw the eyes go glacier cold, and felt a shiver of fear walk up his spine. He mentally shook himself. This was Harry. His Harry. The boy was merely locking his emotions away, and letting a few rise to the surface, and, yes, Snape was a little cautious around the younger man, but he had to be, the threat of Azkaban still hung over his head.
“I did nothing wrong,” Harry’s voice was harsh, a hiss to it. “I did everything right, and still I was punished.”
Snape raised an eyebrow. “I remember you begging for your friend to suffer. Not very noble of you, was it?”
The green-eyed man paced the floor, jaw clenched, eyes angry. He had been so locked away recently that any of his friends would have been relieved to see the fury radiating off him. At last he was living in the real world. But, he was beginning to remember, the real world was a place of danger and pain.
“You lied to me, made me watch my friend be nearly beaten to death, then used that against me to force my co-operation from you. Having done what you wished to me, you then let Malfoy do as he wished. You knew what he was like and you did nothing to protect me, nothing to stop him.
“I came back from his attentions and all you did was delay anymore attentions. You carted me off and healed my wounds, why? So you could convince yourself you were the good guy in all of this? Then you try and break me, try and make me accept my future. Do everything you can to ruin me, and you succeed. You made me think of my own survival and give up my best friend to those animals.”
He paused, gasping for breath. His voice had almost given out on him at various points, but he had forced himself on. He wanted the other to understand what he had done to Harry.
“And you want forgiveness.” A sob broke from his chest and his knees buckled under him. Head bowed he simply knelt there, moans shaking his slender form.
Severus took a step towards the man he had so hurt, then stopped, abruptly. He had no right to touch Harry. And worse, to do so was to invite Azkaban.
“Why?”
The word was so simple, yet the expression behind it was filled with everything Harry had suffered: not just the physical abuses, but the sleepless nights, the self-harming, the coma, the veil. All of it rushed out and made Severus’ heart ache to hear it.
And how could Severus answer such a question? The word was so simple, but how to explain when the answer was so complicated?
He cleared his throat.
“Why?” Harry asked, whispering this time, “Why do I feel like this?”
Snape felt tears trickle from his full eyes. His beautiful Harry, so undone, so destroyed by those hours spent in Death Eater ‘care’.
“How can I want you?” he said, voice lost and terrified. “How can I dream of you over me, in me after what you did?”
Nothing stirred.
Severus hardly dared to breathe. His heart thumped wildly within his chest at the boy’s words. And then reality came crashing down – Harry would never allow him to touch. Would never spread his legs and be entered by Severus. He, Snape, had had his one chance with Harry, and the situation had dictated his own ruin. He could never be with Harry. Never.
Snuffling, like a wounded animal, Harry got up onto shaky legs. Snape watched as the younger man moved slowly towards the door. He rest his head on it for a long time before he turned.
Just a frightened boy now, not a man, and, voice shaking with deep emotion, he spoke. “I loved you.”
----
18/08/08 - OK, when I posted this, it was all there (believe me, I checked!) so I have no idea why AFF decided to cut off half of it. Sorry about that guys. *Goes off into a corner and screams* SP