Twisted Lust

She woke up to the light tapping of rain against the window. Slowly lifting her head
off of the cold floor, rubbing at the side of her head, trying to focus her blurry eyes to
the penetrating darkness. Her head hurt, there probably was a huge black bruise on the side
anyway. She blinked a few times, adjusting. What was she doing on the floor?

And then it hit her, she quickly glanced at the tv, the one she'd secretly smuggled into the
house, the tv that held within it, a tape. Not just any old tape, a dark one. She pressed herself
off of the floor, standing up and still casting a wary eye at the tv, a red light emitting to let
the user know it was on. How could she have found herself, here, in this position. When the
only place she felt safe in, carried her darkest secrets.

She turned her head to look outside the window, the garden would be drenched through and
through. A tree branch cracked above, clearly not supporting the wind or rain. And that crack,
the crack of a whip. Her eyes opened a little wider, she started to run up the stairs, quickly
through all the rooms, grabbing her wand in the process, and making her way up into the attic.

She didn't really think twice about entering, although the sensations of the cold wind
blowing through the cracked windows rattled her bones. The place was damp, beyond
dry, and dirty once again. She quickly muttered a few words, spreading a warm glow of
light from the tip of her wand. It traveled with her, wherever she walked, but she was
impatient. She had to find it.

Earlier, when she had been cleaning. She'd seen all the antiquity's of torture devices, the ones
she'd carelessly passed over and gone on with her cleaning. She set her wand down on the
creaking wooden floors, and began to rummage through piles of ruined devices. Some, were still
sharp, cutting her hand slightly as she pushed through them. But that was the least of her worries,
where was it. Becoming frustrated, she knew it was here, starting to carelessly toss the smaller
devices on the floor, who care if it destroyed them further, who cared if she made a mess, there
was no one here.

She dug through deeper and deeper, finally making her way through the pile of clutter. All that was left
was a tiny enclave off the side of the wall, she put her hand inside, no light penetrated here.
Shelf after shelf, dusty shelves of emptiness, occasionally she would feel something damp
underneath her fingers, it was dangerous to roam around in the unknown. And she began to despair
that she'd ever find it. But she needed to find it, it would prove her theory. And as she reached to the top
shelf, she was a little short, so she needed to use one of the shelves to propel her up, her hand closed
over an old, leather bound box, she yanked at it, causing the shelf that supported her to break, causing her
to fall backwards, the box landing soundly on her chest.

"Fuck" she swore, having landed on some metal device, which was now firmly lodged in her arm.
Tearing it out, she swore even louder, a little blood beginning to pour from the new wound,
whatever, she would deal with that later.

She made her way through the clutter once again, keeping a firm grip on the box, grabbing her wand,
and slowly descending downstairs. The box was heavy, and with every move she made, you could
hear it's contents slide around inside. She sat at the top of the stairs which led to the foyer, running
her hands over the boxes outsides. Untwisting the lock with a loud click, she took a deep breath in,
sucking the air surrounding her, biting on her bottom lip, pushing the lid open.

It was sort of a scream, sort of a gasp that emanated from her mouth. She knew it would be there, ever
since the visit to the dungeons, and now with the video. It confirmed her thoughts exactly. Inside
the box, curled up, not evenly of course, lay a large whip, on one side lay metal spikes, their tips
protruding jaggedly. She picked it up, a tear fell on one of the spikes. Running her hands over each
one, careful not to prick herself, hell, some of them still had blood on them. Her blood.

"I knew it" she muttered to herself, tears falling freely from her eyes, she wiped them repeatedly,
she didn't want to cry, she hated crying. She placed the whip back into the box, closing the lid,
and then walking into the bathroom. She pulled off her shirt and turned to look at her back,
the little dents that would always be there contrasting her even skin. Opening the box again,
looking at the whip and then back to the mirror, at the whip, at the mirror. Vague understanding.
She set it down again, pulling her shirt back on, the whip lay on cloth, but it looked so familiar.
She flipped the box over, so all the contents would fall on the bathroom tiles. Of course, the
cloth looked familiar, it was her clothes. The ones they'd taken from her, the night they took
her, the night they took her soul. They had even kept her knickers.

She curled them up in her hand, walking downstairs, leaving the whip and the box in the bathroom.
On went the fireplace, and she threw them both into the fire, watching with fascination as they
curled up, turning black, disintegrating. She wished she could disapear like that.

______________________________________________________________________________________________

She still remembered what Percy had told her before he died. How he was paid, how
a man of great power had paid, promised to pay Percy with money, with her body.

Could Lucius have done it? He certainly had the willpower, he certainly had enough hate,
he certainly hated her enough. But he was in jail, he wasn't even really alive anymore, they'd
preformed the kiss over the summer. It had been in all the papers.

But how could he orchestrate a plan of that size, while in Azkaban? What did he care a thing
about her, she wasn't the Boy Who Lived, she wasn't a direct threat to him. Draco had told her,
Draco had told her he wasn't allowed any visitors. There was no way for him, there was no
way for him to have gone about doing it.

It was Malfoy Manor! No one else. All the evidence was here, everything that had led to her
destruction, it was all here. And Narcissa was dead, Narcissa had died long ago. And hadn't
Percy said it was a man. So that left.....

No.

No it just couldn't be.

No, it had to be someone else.

"NO" she screamed, her voice reverberating throughout the manor.

Her mind started flying, a mile a minute. Hadn't Draco been concerned, hadn't he
been interested by what Ron had said.
But no, it wasn't possible, he was horrified, he was horrified by what had happened to
her, he had taken care of her, he loved her, he, he

he was everything to her.

She curled up on the floor, and started crying, she didn't even know if it was him, but
the mere thought was enough to drive her insane. She loved him so much, she loved
him more than anything, and yet, what if it was his bidding. What if he had been him all along?

No, no it couldn't be him. She repeated over and over in her head, ignoring other voices
or reasoning, no, she could never let it be him. She rocked herself over and over.

And then she lay back on the floor by the fire, staring up at the crystal chandelier, it
caught the light of everything, different angles. She didn't want to go to the ball, she
didn't want to get dressed up, laugh happily like nothing was wrong. Everything was so wrong.

She got up again, walking slowly to the bathroom, placing the whip back into the box and taking it
downstairs, down to the room with the tv, the room with the video tape. She sat down on the
sofa, with a shaky hand she pressed play. It started off slow, a blank black screen. And then it
opened, something she'd never seen before. Throwing her body into the room, Percy and the
rapist, taking her clothes off, carefully. Watching herself push and twist in the cold.
The tape cut off and skipped to the day it all started, with the first blow of the whip onto her
stomach. After about an hour of watching this, watching them torture her the first day, watching
herself scamper around like a lost girl in the cold room. She turned the tv off.
Taking the tape and placing it in the box as well.

Why had she watched the tape? She wasn't sure herself, but she felt she needed to. Like if she needed
to confront some sort of inner demons. Like if watching it would give her some part of
her life back. It scared her, it sent chills through her spine, it made her want to cry, it was terrible.
But knowing it was her, she wanted to look. After having replayed it so many times in her mind,
so many nightmares to deal with. Watching it was confronting that nightmare.

She walked upstairs, slipping the box underneath the bed. Closing the door and making her way into
the kitchen. She prayed it wasn't Draco, about 99% of her knew it wasn't Draco, but there was still
that 1% chance, always there, always causing doubt in her mind.

No, she wouldn't let this discovery take her down. She wouldn't let it ruin her this time.
She was going to the party. And she'd use it to her advantage.



______________________________________
So. IM SUPER SUPER SORRY about not writing sooner.
if you read my authors note i hope it explained a tad.

this chapter was going to be the new years party.
i know ive been building it up a lot.
but i cant have hermione just jump from fainting to a party.
it doesn't work that way, there is always discovery, doubt.

and, the new years chapter means the end is pretty close
for the story. and i cant bear to write THE END.
i've had some ideas for expanding it further. but maybe
it would be in a new story. but we'll see. it all depends on the
course of the events leading up to, during, and after the party.
which you will read this weekend. about the wonderful new years party

draco DOES love hermione
hermione DOES love draco.
just clearing that up before you speculate that he secretly hates
her, he doesn't.

is it draco?
or is it someone else?
i think i've ruled out lucius and narcissa.
so we'll soon find out who it was.
but do remember, i love twisting the story.
i love surprises.

thank you so much for your reviews.
as always they are wonderful.
so review some more. i am anxious to see what you all think
harry will come back before the end.
so we'll see what happens

-Lux