Dearest Harry - Eileen's Story

A/N This chapter contains a first time sex scene.


This chapter is for Kim, the fastest beta ever! Love you babe ~ L




Harry was curled up on his bed with his eyes tight shut. His head was pounding - had been for a couple of hours - and his gran had sent him upstairs to lie down for a while. It still struck Harry as strange that anyone would care about him and his welfare. Well, anyone adult at least; Hermione and Ron had looked out for him for several years now.

He was trying to get the events of today straight in his own mind. It had indeed been bizarre, even by Harry’s own bizarreness scale, which was admittedly ever so much higher than anyone else’s.

He had never blushed as hard as he had today. He’d thought at one point that he would explode with embarrassment; he still felt hot when he thought about how he had told the entire household that he had licked Draco. He was so stupid sometimes. How could he have said that in front of everyone?

He should have taken Severus aside and just told him. He would still have been embarrassed but it would not have been as bad, as uncomfortable as that.

He still did not know how he felt about his newly discovered uncle. He had hated him for such a long time. Severus had been horrible to him for years, but.

But.

He had apologised. He had told Harry that he was sorry, that he admired him. He had been nice to him and to Harry that was a revelation. Uncles didn’t do that in Harry’s experience. They hated you, despised you and you could see it in their eyes, in the way that they looked at you; the disgust that was evident in their every action and never went away.

And yet Severus didn’t look at him with disgust anymore, did he? Even when Harry had taken his potions book downstairs to the makeshift lab, he had been sure that Severus would be angry, and just for a moment his face had tightened when he saw what Harry had with him, but he had not said a word. It was so far outside Harry’s experience of life with his relatives that he felt quite lost.

He kept saying his uncle’s name in his head, because it felt so strange and he didn’t want to get it wrong. He didn’t want to call him Snape by accident, didn’t want to fracture this strange accord that seemed to have developed in that last few hours; it was too new, too fragile.

The door to Harry’s bedroom opened quietly. Harry peeked through his lashes to see who had entered. He had not minded giving up his room to his gran, but he did miss the privacy his first ever bedroom had given him. Although he was used to sharing a room with Ron and was deeply fond of him and although he was also becoming very fond of Draco, he had wanted to be by himself for a little while, just be alone with his thoughts.

It was Draco who had come in.

He put something away in his bedside table and then sat on his bed and regarded Harry.

“I know you are not asleep,” he said.

Harry kept his eyes shut.

“Look Harry,” Draco continued, “I have spent a lot of time over the past few days watching you sleep, I know what a sleeping Potter looks like and this isn’t it! Are you alright?” His voice was soft, concerned.

And Harry felt that the day had just achieved a few more notches on the bizarreness scale. Draco Malfoy was offering comfort, concern?

Harry was still wary of Draco. Earlier, when Draco had held his hand, had kissed him, held him in front of everyone, Harry had felt that maybe Draco did like him. But then the thought had struck him that perhaps Draco was doing this to ensure that Harry kept him safe. He still couldn’t believe that Draco liked him for himself, not deep down.

Draco was gorgeous, and he had always despised Harry, hadn’t he? Why would he change, just like that? Why was everything so different all of a sudden? Draco, Eileen, Snape…Severus!

Harry sighed.

“M’tired,” he said, in a slurred voice, “so tired.”

But he did need to talk to Draco, didn’t he? He needed to tell him that he didn’t owe Harry anything. He sat up. “I’m sorry Draco,” he said, “it’s been such a long day, such a lot has happened. I just feel a bit drained, y’know?”

He ducked his head; he couldn’t look at the other boy; he had to ask his questions before he chickened out. He knew that he was falling for Draco and it scared him. It was so much deeper, so much more intense than what he had felt for Ginny, for Cho. If what Draco had told him earlier wasn’t true, if he was just using Harry, then Harry knew it would destroy him, completely.

“Draco,” he said. His voice was quiet. “Why do you suddenly care about me? You never liked me. You don’t have to do this. I won’t turn away you know, I’ll protect you, I promise. You don’t have to pretend.” His voice cracked on the last word, he couldn’t continue, he couldn’t have spoken another word, not if his life had depended on it.

But then Draco was there, right beside him. Harry could feel the other boy’s hot breath on his cheek. Draco’s hand cupped his cheek and when he spoke his voice was as soft as snowfall.

“Oh Harry!

“What do I have to say to you? How can I make you understand how I feel? I know we haven’t always got on you and me, but fucking hell, Harry!

“I got you wrong, you know? I’ve told you this already. You don’t know how much last night meant to me, how safe I felt, and I haven’t felt safe, protected for such a long time. You do keep me safe, you will protect me, I know that, but I feel so much more for you.

“For you, Harry, not Harry Potter, not who I thought you were, not the Chosen One, not someone who could bring me power or influence. I…I used to be like that, but this last year. It’s been hell for me, Harry! And I’ve been so alone, so lonely. I’ve changed. My life has changed.

“You came for me when I thought I might die. You looked at me as if I were special, and I never thought I would ever feel special, wanted, ever again.

“But you are not listening are you? Or, it’s not that you aren’t listening, it is as if something stops you from seeing yourself as you really are.

“You are beautiful, Harry.

“So beautiful!” The last word was barely a word; it was a breath, a sigh.

“If you can’t hear me when I tell you how gorgeous you are then I will have to show you, won’t I?” Draco said, and it sounded as if he were smiling. He took Harry’s head in both his hands and looked at him steadily for a moment or two. Harry almost couldn’t meet his gaze, so caring was it; he thought that he could see Draco’s soul in those shimmering silver eyes.

“I love your smile, Harry.” Draco kissed his lips, gently, tenderly. “I love your nose, it’s a fine nose, straight and true, just like you are,” kiss “Your chin shows your determination.” kiss “Your eyes, hmmm,” kiss, are the colour of emeralds, deep,” kiss “multifaceted, unfathomable.” kiss

“Your hair is wild and untamed, it makes you look freshly shagged, like you have just fallen out of bed,” kiss on the forehead this time, just beside the scar.

“Your neck, so delectable!” kiss Draco proceeded to undo Harry’s shirt pushing it off his shoulders, he licked Harry’s collarbone and then kissed that too. “Your chest is so strong and smooth,” kiss dragging the shirt out of the waistband of Harry’s trousers and undoing his belt. Pushing him, unprotesting, down on to the bed, pulling down the zip and inserting his hand into the gap, cupping Harry’s cock which was hardening rapidly at the sudden interest that Draco was showing.

“Your nipples,” lick, kiss, suck, “both of them,” nibble, luck, suck, kiss. “Your stomach,” kiss, kiss, lick, kiss. Draco carried on working his way down Harry’s body, worshiping him with his mouth, his lips, his tongue.

Harry felt like his brains had turned to mush; he couldn’t think anymore, he could only feel. There was only now, only these overwhelming sensations, nothing else but Draco’s hot mouth on his body, the moist clever tongue.

He couldn’t seem to speak anymore either, only whimper.

Draco had dragged his trousers off, his boxer shorts, his shirt was mostly off too; for all intents and purposes, for Draco’s purposes anyway, Harry was naked.

He had no coherent thoughts any longer; Draco had discovered erogenous zones that Harry didn’t know existed. How would he know how sensitive his inner thighs were? Or his instep, the tender inside of his foot that Draco was currently nibbling?

“Draco,” he croaked, “please!”

“Please kiss what kiss Harry?” Draco asked.

“Can you, you know, can you do me. You know.”

Draco’s head was suddenly level with his own again and he was staring into Harry’s eyes. “Do you want me inside you, Harry? Are you ready?” He felt Draco’s hand on his chest, holding him in place, branding him with Draco’s touch.

Harry just nodded tightly. He was ready, he wanted to lose his virginity and he wanted Draco to be his first. He wanted Draco to be his only, but he wasn’t ready to admit that yet, not to anyone. Harry knew that there was no coming back for him, he had fallen for Draco and he had fallen hard.

He heard Draco accio something which flew out of the other boy’s bedside cabinet, smacking the flimsy door open with a loud crack. He grabbed Draco’s wrist, he was here on the bed, completely naked, and someone could come in and see them. For a moment he almost panicked, it was as if he could no longer speak properly but he managed to grind out two words, “The door!”

Draco kissed him again, a gentle kiss on his bare stomach. “It’s alright Harry, I locked it. We will not be disturbed, not this time!”

Mollified, Harry relaxed and gave in. He felt Draco lift him, gently tilting his hips upwards and shoving something soft under his backside and then something else was pushed inside him, something cold and thick and glutinous, something warm and insistent was applying it. Draco’s finger.

“It’s alright Harry, it’s just some lube,” Draco said as Harry flinched away from the coldness, from the feeling of something different, something alien inside him. “Girls make their own, you know,” Draco was telling him in a silky voice, “but we need some help!”

Harry felt slightly indignant. Of course he knew, he was about to say so but then….. “Guh!” All at once, he found that he could speak no longer; possibly not ever again.

Draco had inserted another finger and more sticky lubrication. He was pushing the fingers into Harry, gently at first and then more firmly. It was cold, the gel-like substance and then there were three fingers inside him. Harry gasped. It burned but only a little, it hurt but not too much. Not more than he could stand and then Draco was beside him and Harry could feel something much bigger than fingers pushing at his entrance.

Oh fuck, it hurt so much! He was being stretched and the ring of muscle around his anus was tearing, he was sure it was! He started to panic, to breathe harder, but Draco was soothing him, stroking his thighs, telling him how wonderful he was, how special and then, all at once, the resistance was gone and Draco was inside him and Harry screamed.

He felt so full, impaled on this rock-hard thing buried deep inside him. He writhed and inside him Draco moved. The cock that was filling him was withdrawn and then forced back inside him once, twice, three times. His arse felt like it was on fire burning up and then, and then Draco brushed against something inside him and it was as if fireworks had exploded in his brain.

He was awash with sensation, pain and pleasure, undreamt of pleasure surging thorough him.

“Oh fuck, Harry! You are so fucking hot! So tight!”

Harry looked up at him at Draco’s face, that perfect, exquisite face. The features that had seemed sharp on Draco as a child were stunning now, Draco’s head was thrown back and Harry could an expanse of pale throat. Draco’s eyes were closed, his expression blissful, for a second or two Harry watched him and then Draco thrust inside him again and Harry was lost in a sea of ecstasy. Finally, after what felt like forever and yet no time at all, Draco was coming hard, inside him, filling Harry with warmth.

He felt possessed, treasured, owned.

Then Harry was coming too, harder than he ever had in his life, clutching the sheets in his hands, arching his back, he was being swept away.

Draco was holding him; he had pulled the blanket around them both and wrapped his arms around Harry. He placed a kiss on Harry’s head and laid his cheek against Harry’s hair.

“I love you,” he whispered, “I love you Harry.”

But Harry could not speak; his throat seemed blocked, his eyes burned. Today had been too much for Harry. It was all too much, he felt like he had been washed clean, like everything familiar had gone for good and been replaced by something new. Someone new.

Draco was curled around him, his legs entwined with Harry’s, his arm wrapped around his waist, contented, blissful. His breathing had slowed; he was asleep.

Harry swallowed, he was trembling slightly and tears were streaming unchecked down his cheeks and pooling by his ears. He let out a deep shuddering sigh. He couldn’t move from the bed, he didn’t want to move from the bed. He placed a gentle kiss on the arm that was draped around his shoulder.

“Oh Draco,” he whispered, “I think I love you too.”