The Rules of the Game
folder
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Voldemort
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
28
Views:
44,490
Reviews:
220
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
6
Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Voldemort
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
28
Views:
44,490
Reviews:
220
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
6
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 23
Chapter 23
*************
Harry’s POV
It had been five days since I had fed on Snape and my potion today didn’t turn out perfect. It was still usable, but noticeably not my standard. Snape gave me a pointed look and I realized I would have to finally have my talk with Draco.
I didn’t see why I couldn’t just take care of my problem with Snape. We had become more comfortable with each other, and now that I had mastered all he knew of Occlumency and Legilimency we instead talked over random topics: curses, politics, Voldemort. But Snape said it was inappropriate and I was enjoying have someone I could talk to too much to risk it.
Besides I could feel that Draco wanted more between us. Since the incident I had been careful around him and he didn’t push, but I knew if he asked I couldn’t deny him.
**********
When Sunday night came around I knew I couldn’t put it off any longer since I had potions the next morning and Snape would expect the issue to have been solved, but how was I supposed to bring it up?
Finally an hour before curfew I told him I had something private to talk to him about and dragged him off to the Room of Requirements. Draco followed readily enough, and when I opened the door it revealed a comfy couch in front of a fire. I made sure that my shields were up tight, not wanting to pick up any of his emotions if I could, and then led him over to the couch and sat nervously on one side.
“Harry what’s up, you seem really nervous?” He asked scooting closer and placing a hand on my shoulder to comfort me, while really just making me more nervous.
“You remember what happened when I was last in the hospital wing?” I felt his hand on my shoulder tense for a second in surprise but then he relaxed and nodded. “Professor Snape thinks that I sort of consume dark magic for some reason. And since your father has begun to teach you the dark arts, I sort of fed from you that one time, or the essence of it that remained in your blood.” I paused for a second, searching Draco’s face for how he was taking this, but surprisingly all he appeared was intrigued.
“Really? Are you some sort of magical creature? But why would it start now? Usually it’s from birth or when you come of age, that’s weird. Do you feed a lot? What’s it like? Are you hungry?” I couldn’t believe the rush of questions that came from him, and stared at him shocked for a moment and he must have realized himself because he blushed and glanced away.
“I supposed I’m some kind of creature but Snape doesn’t know what. It’s Dumbledore’s fault that I’ve started now and not at birth, and for now it’s not too often, and it feels good, like filling up something I’m missing; and yeah… I’m hungry.” I added, embarrassed myself and glancing down, not wanting to see his disgusted look when he realized why I was telling him this.
A firm hand gripped my chin and lifted my eyes back up. “You think I’ll be disgusted with you, hate you?” Draco asked, his silver eyes piercing into me. “I don’t get you Harry, why are you so ashamed of yourself? You’re an amazing person with unbelievable powers. I would be honored to help you with anything, not just feeding you.”
Draco spoke with such seriousness and even with my shields up I could feel the honesty and determination coming from him.
I didn’t deserve him.
He would do anything for me and I have been avoiding him for fear of him asking for something that he needs and wants.
“Your wrong Draco, it is you who is amazing.” I said softly, taking the hand that was gripping my chin and turning it; placing a gently kiss on the palm. I glanced up from beneath my lashes, asking if this was alright before proceeding to place another kiss up higher on his hand and following up the inside of his wrist. I paused for a while, licking the same spot I had so long ago allowing the edge of hunger to wane before moving higher.
My instincts began to take over, but unlike with uncle Vernon I didn’t block everything out and disappear to the corner of my mind until my body had gone through the motions he wanted. Instead I lowered my shields a little and used my empathy gift to find all the spots that would incite his body further. I heard Draco moan my name as his body relaxed deeper into the couch. I moved closer, paying special attention to all the spots on his neck feeding his desire as well as my hunger. I felt one of his hands reach up and twist into my hair and my entire body froze and began to tremble. I fought down my fear and disgust for this act, trying to push memories away and then heard my name.
“Harry?” Draco asked. But it was the concern that laced my name that brought me out of the memories and back to him.
I didn’t want any questions so I threw myself back into the assault on his neck while I used my gift to bring his lust to a new height and effectively causing all thoughts to leave his mind.
He moaned loudly at the sudden onslaught and his hips jerked up. I moved a knee between his legs, allowing him to seek the friction he so wanted and turned back to feeding and igniting parts of his body, while trying not to really thinking about what he was doing.
At last he came, and as his body shook with exhausting pleasure mine shook in unavoidable fear. I quickly did a cleaning spell so he would not be confused as to why there was no corresponding wet spot on the front my pants as there had been his. I moved back to my side of the couch, breathing hard and trying to stop shaking, but he was breathing hard as well and seemed unaware of much around him.
I stared for a moment at Draco with his sleeve cuffs rolled back and top few buttons of his white shirt undone. He looked beautiful, even now his hair was perfect and his skin was flawless.
How could Draco think I was something special and worthwhile? I turned my arm over, staring at equally unmarred flesh before allowing the illusion to fall from it. I watched the shimmer roll across my skin revealing what seemed like hundreds of cuts, before turning my arm again and letting them all disappear. I glanced up at Draco to see his perfect smile on his lips and realized once more how much of a freak I am even in this world. I’m not special, I just play the roll of being such, just like at ‘home’ I play the role of scum… but I’m just nothing… yet.
********************************
The next few weeks passed easily with nothing more exciting than the Gryffindor tower being attacked by someone. All the Slytherins were severely disappointed by the failed attack and had betting pools going on, one on who the attacker was, and another on which Gryffindor was going to be offed first.
Things with Draco continued, but we didn't do much more than what we had. We would kiss, I would let him get off on me, and a few times upon his asking I gave him a hand-job. I was getting better at not letting my memories consume me but I believe Draco was getting suspicious of not seeing or feeling me hard despite my assurances. Because I was feeding so often the hunger got no hold on me and so my body never responded. That was one of the good things about this situation, despite feeling dirty by doing this at all, at least I wasn't hard I wasn’t sure I could handle that.
Draco was also always saying how amazing I was. Sometimes I just wanted to scream out what a freak I was but... he sounds so honest. I can feel his conviction when he speaks the words, his utter belief in them, and sometimes I think that maybe there is a small small part of what he's saying that's true, that I'm not just a freak or a whore, but more like him.
But I can't. I can't think that. If that were true... then everything’s wrong.
If Draco's right, and I don't deserve what has been done to me, then it's too real, then I was abused. But that's not right. I'm a Slytherin, I wouldn't let someone use me like that, I deserve it! I’m bad.
I have to be. It's the only thing that makes my world make since.
******************************************
***Draco's POV***
I think I'm flying.
Ok, so I am flying. But even after quidditch practice is over, when I've put my broom away, I still feel like I'm flying.
I finally have what I've wanted since first year. Harry Potter.
Never thought I would be saying that when I was younger but I was expecting someone totally different. Harry is amazing and beautiful and he doesn't even seem to know it.
I had some more discussions with Severus and we're going to try and solve the Harry Potter mystery. But really I just want to help him and to keep him safe.
I stare at him for a long moment with everyone else as he once more catches the snitch making it look effortless while still scaring me shitless with the dangerous stunts he pulls; you'd think that he had no care for his life.
We all land on the ground and begin to head towards the locker room when a bright blotch of red catches my eye.
Weasley and Granger.
I glare at them, wanting to yell and tell them to get lost and that Harry's mine!
Ok, so Malfoy's are a little possessive, but Harry's mine.
"I'll see you later." Harry whispers softly and I know he's gong to go with them. I know I shouldn't be annoyed, that Harry is playing them and needs to keep them clueless, but couldn't he come shower with everyone.
Come to think of it Harry never takes a shower with everyone else, and I so desperately want to feast my eyes on him, but the boy has some weird quirks. Reluctantly I watch him walk off with them as Weasley glances back with a triumphant look on his face like he won something. What irks me is that he did win! Harry left with them! I'm his boyfriend and yet he spends more time on homework, off who knows where, or with them! My fingers itched to grab my wand and make that Weasley boy eat that grin but I don't cause I know it would hurt Harry's plans and he would have to spend more time with them and away from me to win their trust back.
Fuming I turn around and leave, rushing through my own shower now that I have nothing around I care to look at and storm to the Slytherin commons. I sit down in ours spot, ours as in where Harry should be right now, and try to do some homework that's due in a couple days.
When he finally comes back an hour later I haven't written a single line, I haven't even opened my book.
"Hey Draco." He says softy, barely acknowledging me as he goes up to our room. I feel anger and annoyance bubble up inside me but force them down and follow after him.
He's laying on his bed, curled up in a ball in the top corner and his school robes at the foot of his bed. He seems to fit there so well, like that's always where he sleeps, and I realize I've never seen him on his bed with the curtains open. My anger is forgotten as I go over to him and sit on his bed. I'm not even sure if he's noticed and when I reach out to pet his head he jerks back banging it against the stone wall. I jerk my hand back in surprise and wince in sympathy, but he doesn't even seem to notice. Finally his eyes focus on me and he gives a small smile.
"Hey." He whispers again and I smile as he looks at me.
"Hey, have fun with the weasel and mudblood?" I ask trying to hide the jealousy from my voice but for once I don't think he notices. He gives a groan and roles over, burying his had in his pillow.
"Merlin, they are so annoying. They're driving me insane." He whined and I smiled, glad that I got to see this side he showed no one else. "I almost cursed Weasley 16 times, Granger 9, and myself in hopes of being sent to the hospital wing and away form those two 6."
I laughed, I couldn't help it, he looked so pitiful. "Aww, come here I'll kiss it better." I said and proceeded to kiss his shoulder and neck. He tensed for a moment like he sometimes does, but then relaxed and turned over, allowing my lips to claim his. I moaned into the contact before snaking my tongue out and delving it into his mouth. I loved the taste of him, loved that he was mine, and loved that I gave him something that very few other people in this castle could.
He wound his arms around me and I slid more onto the bed so that I was lying almost on top of him. I slid a hand down the side of his gorgeous body, determined that this time I would give him the same pleasure that he has given me so many times. I could hardly believe that we had been going out for almost a month and I still hadn't done this. But he always distracts me, and he's so good at distracting. I reach down farther and slide my hand towards his cock when he speaks.
"Don't" he whispers and I think for a moment thought I heard a tremble in it. It surprises me that he said anything because early on he reluctantly admitted that he didn't want talking.
"I want to make you feel good Harry." I whisper huskily in his ear and feel his entire body shiver in pleasure. I move my hand again and have almost reached my goal when he jerks his knee up, hitting me in the stomach and pushing the air from my lungs.
"Don't touch me!" He screams knocking my hand away.
I jump back, hurt both physically and emotionally. "What?!" I shout while I stare stunned at my boyfriend who looks almost just a shocked at the words that came from his mouth.
"Please, come here." He says getting on his knees and moving close to the edge and where I'm standing. Still confused I move forward into his grasp and his hands are instantly gently massaging my stomach in apology. "I'm sorry. I just want to please you; you don't need to touch me. Please don't touch me." He says softly, barely even whispering the last part but I hear it and feel as if I've been punched in the stomach again.
I jerk back out of his reach and stare at him, confused and angry. "What?" I hiss in a low voice and his eyes widen as he's finally realized what he said.
"No, that's not what..."
"You don't want me to touch you?" I ask incredulous, feeling sick to my stomach.
"No, Draco..." He tries again but I don't want to hear it, I don't want to hear anything he has to say.
"Fuck you! What you're too good for everyone else!? Don't want anyone to touch the great Harry Potter, won't let anyone even shower near the fucking Golden Boy!" I snarl but it's not enough, I want to hurt him, hurt him like he's just hurt me. "You're such a worthless piece of shit, I was wrong, you're nothing special. Stay the fuck away from me Potter!" I said and with a whirl of robes that would make Severus proud stormed from the room.
*************
Harry’s POV
It had been five days since I had fed on Snape and my potion today didn’t turn out perfect. It was still usable, but noticeably not my standard. Snape gave me a pointed look and I realized I would have to finally have my talk with Draco.
I didn’t see why I couldn’t just take care of my problem with Snape. We had become more comfortable with each other, and now that I had mastered all he knew of Occlumency and Legilimency we instead talked over random topics: curses, politics, Voldemort. But Snape said it was inappropriate and I was enjoying have someone I could talk to too much to risk it.
Besides I could feel that Draco wanted more between us. Since the incident I had been careful around him and he didn’t push, but I knew if he asked I couldn’t deny him.
**********
When Sunday night came around I knew I couldn’t put it off any longer since I had potions the next morning and Snape would expect the issue to have been solved, but how was I supposed to bring it up?
Finally an hour before curfew I told him I had something private to talk to him about and dragged him off to the Room of Requirements. Draco followed readily enough, and when I opened the door it revealed a comfy couch in front of a fire. I made sure that my shields were up tight, not wanting to pick up any of his emotions if I could, and then led him over to the couch and sat nervously on one side.
“Harry what’s up, you seem really nervous?” He asked scooting closer and placing a hand on my shoulder to comfort me, while really just making me more nervous.
“You remember what happened when I was last in the hospital wing?” I felt his hand on my shoulder tense for a second in surprise but then he relaxed and nodded. “Professor Snape thinks that I sort of consume dark magic for some reason. And since your father has begun to teach you the dark arts, I sort of fed from you that one time, or the essence of it that remained in your blood.” I paused for a second, searching Draco’s face for how he was taking this, but surprisingly all he appeared was intrigued.
“Really? Are you some sort of magical creature? But why would it start now? Usually it’s from birth or when you come of age, that’s weird. Do you feed a lot? What’s it like? Are you hungry?” I couldn’t believe the rush of questions that came from him, and stared at him shocked for a moment and he must have realized himself because he blushed and glanced away.
“I supposed I’m some kind of creature but Snape doesn’t know what. It’s Dumbledore’s fault that I’ve started now and not at birth, and for now it’s not too often, and it feels good, like filling up something I’m missing; and yeah… I’m hungry.” I added, embarrassed myself and glancing down, not wanting to see his disgusted look when he realized why I was telling him this.
A firm hand gripped my chin and lifted my eyes back up. “You think I’ll be disgusted with you, hate you?” Draco asked, his silver eyes piercing into me. “I don’t get you Harry, why are you so ashamed of yourself? You’re an amazing person with unbelievable powers. I would be honored to help you with anything, not just feeding you.”
Draco spoke with such seriousness and even with my shields up I could feel the honesty and determination coming from him.
I didn’t deserve him.
He would do anything for me and I have been avoiding him for fear of him asking for something that he needs and wants.
“Your wrong Draco, it is you who is amazing.” I said softly, taking the hand that was gripping my chin and turning it; placing a gently kiss on the palm. I glanced up from beneath my lashes, asking if this was alright before proceeding to place another kiss up higher on his hand and following up the inside of his wrist. I paused for a while, licking the same spot I had so long ago allowing the edge of hunger to wane before moving higher.
My instincts began to take over, but unlike with uncle Vernon I didn’t block everything out and disappear to the corner of my mind until my body had gone through the motions he wanted. Instead I lowered my shields a little and used my empathy gift to find all the spots that would incite his body further. I heard Draco moan my name as his body relaxed deeper into the couch. I moved closer, paying special attention to all the spots on his neck feeding his desire as well as my hunger. I felt one of his hands reach up and twist into my hair and my entire body froze and began to tremble. I fought down my fear and disgust for this act, trying to push memories away and then heard my name.
“Harry?” Draco asked. But it was the concern that laced my name that brought me out of the memories and back to him.
I didn’t want any questions so I threw myself back into the assault on his neck while I used my gift to bring his lust to a new height and effectively causing all thoughts to leave his mind.
He moaned loudly at the sudden onslaught and his hips jerked up. I moved a knee between his legs, allowing him to seek the friction he so wanted and turned back to feeding and igniting parts of his body, while trying not to really thinking about what he was doing.
At last he came, and as his body shook with exhausting pleasure mine shook in unavoidable fear. I quickly did a cleaning spell so he would not be confused as to why there was no corresponding wet spot on the front my pants as there had been his. I moved back to my side of the couch, breathing hard and trying to stop shaking, but he was breathing hard as well and seemed unaware of much around him.
I stared for a moment at Draco with his sleeve cuffs rolled back and top few buttons of his white shirt undone. He looked beautiful, even now his hair was perfect and his skin was flawless.
How could Draco think I was something special and worthwhile? I turned my arm over, staring at equally unmarred flesh before allowing the illusion to fall from it. I watched the shimmer roll across my skin revealing what seemed like hundreds of cuts, before turning my arm again and letting them all disappear. I glanced up at Draco to see his perfect smile on his lips and realized once more how much of a freak I am even in this world. I’m not special, I just play the roll of being such, just like at ‘home’ I play the role of scum… but I’m just nothing… yet.
********************************
The next few weeks passed easily with nothing more exciting than the Gryffindor tower being attacked by someone. All the Slytherins were severely disappointed by the failed attack and had betting pools going on, one on who the attacker was, and another on which Gryffindor was going to be offed first.
Things with Draco continued, but we didn't do much more than what we had. We would kiss, I would let him get off on me, and a few times upon his asking I gave him a hand-job. I was getting better at not letting my memories consume me but I believe Draco was getting suspicious of not seeing or feeling me hard despite my assurances. Because I was feeding so often the hunger got no hold on me and so my body never responded. That was one of the good things about this situation, despite feeling dirty by doing this at all, at least I wasn't hard I wasn’t sure I could handle that.
Draco was also always saying how amazing I was. Sometimes I just wanted to scream out what a freak I was but... he sounds so honest. I can feel his conviction when he speaks the words, his utter belief in them, and sometimes I think that maybe there is a small small part of what he's saying that's true, that I'm not just a freak or a whore, but more like him.
But I can't. I can't think that. If that were true... then everything’s wrong.
If Draco's right, and I don't deserve what has been done to me, then it's too real, then I was abused. But that's not right. I'm a Slytherin, I wouldn't let someone use me like that, I deserve it! I’m bad.
I have to be. It's the only thing that makes my world make since.
******************************************
***Draco's POV***
I think I'm flying.
Ok, so I am flying. But even after quidditch practice is over, when I've put my broom away, I still feel like I'm flying.
I finally have what I've wanted since first year. Harry Potter.
Never thought I would be saying that when I was younger but I was expecting someone totally different. Harry is amazing and beautiful and he doesn't even seem to know it.
I had some more discussions with Severus and we're going to try and solve the Harry Potter mystery. But really I just want to help him and to keep him safe.
I stare at him for a long moment with everyone else as he once more catches the snitch making it look effortless while still scaring me shitless with the dangerous stunts he pulls; you'd think that he had no care for his life.
We all land on the ground and begin to head towards the locker room when a bright blotch of red catches my eye.
Weasley and Granger.
I glare at them, wanting to yell and tell them to get lost and that Harry's mine!
Ok, so Malfoy's are a little possessive, but Harry's mine.
"I'll see you later." Harry whispers softly and I know he's gong to go with them. I know I shouldn't be annoyed, that Harry is playing them and needs to keep them clueless, but couldn't he come shower with everyone.
Come to think of it Harry never takes a shower with everyone else, and I so desperately want to feast my eyes on him, but the boy has some weird quirks. Reluctantly I watch him walk off with them as Weasley glances back with a triumphant look on his face like he won something. What irks me is that he did win! Harry left with them! I'm his boyfriend and yet he spends more time on homework, off who knows where, or with them! My fingers itched to grab my wand and make that Weasley boy eat that grin but I don't cause I know it would hurt Harry's plans and he would have to spend more time with them and away from me to win their trust back.
Fuming I turn around and leave, rushing through my own shower now that I have nothing around I care to look at and storm to the Slytherin commons. I sit down in ours spot, ours as in where Harry should be right now, and try to do some homework that's due in a couple days.
When he finally comes back an hour later I haven't written a single line, I haven't even opened my book.
"Hey Draco." He says softy, barely acknowledging me as he goes up to our room. I feel anger and annoyance bubble up inside me but force them down and follow after him.
He's laying on his bed, curled up in a ball in the top corner and his school robes at the foot of his bed. He seems to fit there so well, like that's always where he sleeps, and I realize I've never seen him on his bed with the curtains open. My anger is forgotten as I go over to him and sit on his bed. I'm not even sure if he's noticed and when I reach out to pet his head he jerks back banging it against the stone wall. I jerk my hand back in surprise and wince in sympathy, but he doesn't even seem to notice. Finally his eyes focus on me and he gives a small smile.
"Hey." He whispers again and I smile as he looks at me.
"Hey, have fun with the weasel and mudblood?" I ask trying to hide the jealousy from my voice but for once I don't think he notices. He gives a groan and roles over, burying his had in his pillow.
"Merlin, they are so annoying. They're driving me insane." He whined and I smiled, glad that I got to see this side he showed no one else. "I almost cursed Weasley 16 times, Granger 9, and myself in hopes of being sent to the hospital wing and away form those two 6."
I laughed, I couldn't help it, he looked so pitiful. "Aww, come here I'll kiss it better." I said and proceeded to kiss his shoulder and neck. He tensed for a moment like he sometimes does, but then relaxed and turned over, allowing my lips to claim his. I moaned into the contact before snaking my tongue out and delving it into his mouth. I loved the taste of him, loved that he was mine, and loved that I gave him something that very few other people in this castle could.
He wound his arms around me and I slid more onto the bed so that I was lying almost on top of him. I slid a hand down the side of his gorgeous body, determined that this time I would give him the same pleasure that he has given me so many times. I could hardly believe that we had been going out for almost a month and I still hadn't done this. But he always distracts me, and he's so good at distracting. I reach down farther and slide my hand towards his cock when he speaks.
"Don't" he whispers and I think for a moment thought I heard a tremble in it. It surprises me that he said anything because early on he reluctantly admitted that he didn't want talking.
"I want to make you feel good Harry." I whisper huskily in his ear and feel his entire body shiver in pleasure. I move my hand again and have almost reached my goal when he jerks his knee up, hitting me in the stomach and pushing the air from my lungs.
"Don't touch me!" He screams knocking my hand away.
I jump back, hurt both physically and emotionally. "What?!" I shout while I stare stunned at my boyfriend who looks almost just a shocked at the words that came from his mouth.
"Please, come here." He says getting on his knees and moving close to the edge and where I'm standing. Still confused I move forward into his grasp and his hands are instantly gently massaging my stomach in apology. "I'm sorry. I just want to please you; you don't need to touch me. Please don't touch me." He says softly, barely even whispering the last part but I hear it and feel as if I've been punched in the stomach again.
I jerk back out of his reach and stare at him, confused and angry. "What?" I hiss in a low voice and his eyes widen as he's finally realized what he said.
"No, that's not what..."
"You don't want me to touch you?" I ask incredulous, feeling sick to my stomach.
"No, Draco..." He tries again but I don't want to hear it, I don't want to hear anything he has to say.
"Fuck you! What you're too good for everyone else!? Don't want anyone to touch the great Harry Potter, won't let anyone even shower near the fucking Golden Boy!" I snarl but it's not enough, I want to hurt him, hurt him like he's just hurt me. "You're such a worthless piece of shit, I was wrong, you're nothing special. Stay the fuck away from me Potter!" I said and with a whirl of robes that would make Severus proud stormed from the room.