Light on the Dark Side of Me
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Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Snape
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Adult ++
Chapters:
34
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37,526
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Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Snape
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
34
Views:
37,526
Reviews:
236
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
1
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Happy Christmas, you rotten jerk
Title: Light on the Dark Side of Me
Author: Cocoa-Snape
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Harry Potter belongs exclusively to JKR…she is a goddess. I am making no money from this.
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Light on the Dark Side of Me
Chapter 24: Happy Christmas, you rotten jerk
(Day 1)
As Harry waited in the sitting room for Snape, he began to doubt his sanity for letting himself be a part of Dumbledore’s ridiculous plan. He wondered exactly what Dumbledore and Snape were discussing at this very moment. He mused that Snape was most likely trying to get out of this arrangement with threats of violence, and Harry hoped that Dumbledore remembered to order Snape not to kill him – otherwise, he was unlikely to make it out alive from this nearly two week stay.
Harry had mixed feelings about being in this room again. It was the place where he had felt so comfortable after his lessons, the place where he had gotten to know Severus – his habits, his quirks, and much more. But just a couple of days ago, he had seen a very different side of the man. After getting over his initial relief that Snape wasn’t a monster, he was left with a great deal of anger and confusion. Dumbledore had tried to explain it all to him – insisting that Snape wasn’t fully aware of his actions when he’d shown those things to Harry and made those threats. Harry was not convinced. Snape losing control? Not possible. But Dumbledore had persisted. Harry closed his eyes as his mind drifted back to the moment when the Headmaster had explained his crazy idea of having Harry stay with Snape in the dungeons for the rest of the Holidays.
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“No way,” Harry said, with horror in his eyes.
“He would never hurt you, Harry,” Dumbledore said simply.
A long silence stretched between them and Harry replied in a low voice, “I know that…but I don’t think I can.”
“He cares about you, Harry,” Dumbledore continued.
“But then why would he do that to me?” Harry asked, finally verbalizing the burning question in his mind.
Dumbledore sighed deeply before responding, “Severus Snape is the bravest man I have ever known. But he is afraid, Harry. And he is in unimaginable pain.”
And that Harry believed. Harry remembered the first time he had glimpsed Snape’s pain – when he had opened the man’s left shirt sleeve. His remembered wondering how such a simple gesture could produce such anguish. And of course, that was nothing compared to what was to come. Harry would never forget the horror-stricken look on his face when he deduced that Harry had dreamt about his rape. And then suddenly Harry recalled Snape’s drunken reverie after canceling their lesson that time, and remembered that that was their first lesson after he returned from that second fateful meeting with Voldemort. And it made sense – Snape had avoided him for weeks afterwards, and had barely spoken to him. He had stopped eating, bathing, and sleeping. And then there were the nightmares he had overheard. And of course, Harry could not forget the vision Dumbledore had shown him of Severus Snape besot with grief as he cried in Dumbledore’s bed, so hopeless, so tortured, so utterly lost.
“It is asking a lot of you, Harry,” Dumbledore continued, “and most importantly, I need you to know that this is your decision to make. I do not want to force you – you have been through quite an ordeal already. But…” Dumbledore paused for a moment, apparently collecting himself. As the man spoke, Harry could hear his voice crack ever so slightly, “Severus has gone through so many terrible things, Harry. I can’t even begin to tell you. And it’s my fault that I didn’t see sooner how important you were to him – and what impact it would have on Severus.”
“I don’t know what you mean,” Harry said in confusion.
“You have to understand, Harry. All Severus has ever had to worry about is himself. Earlier in his life, that was a consequence of his upbringing – his mother died when he was young and afterwards he never really had anyone that truly cared about or loved him. And now as a man, he’s chosen to remain isolated – his misanthropy has protected him from pain. And that changed so suddenly for him when you entered his life. On its own, your relationship was something very new and difficult for him. He could barely handle it. And then, on the heels of that…this past month has been filled with unspeakable horrors for Severus – each of which cruelly exploited his feelings for you.”
Harry understood. Snape had been raped because he refused to deliver Harry to Voldemort and then Snape had been forced to convince Voldemort that he was a pedophile who deepest darkest desire was to rape Harry so that he could regain Voldemort’s trust.
“If you choose to go through with this, Harry, I will confine Severus to his quarters for the remainder of the Holidays, but I shall spell the wards to let you out anytime you wish – should you feel unsafe and need to leave. Of course Severus won’t know that.”
Silence.
“Perhaps my child, you could try it…for 3 days time. Then you may leave if you still desire to,” Dumbledore pleaded.
More silence.
Dumbledore was growing worried now.
“He needs you, Harry,” Dumbledore said, his voice filled with unshakeable truth.
And suddenly in that moment, everything else was irrelevant to Harry. He knew he had to go.
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Now as Snape walked into the sitting room – everything about him announced that he was enraged to have Harry forced upon him in such a manner. Harry slowly looked up at him. Seeing Snape, being in this room with him again, Harry didn’t know what to feel. Part of him wanted to rage at the man – scream, kick, hex, anything – to make him pay for the hell he’d put him through. Another part of him wanted to shrink in the corner in fear and anxiety. And another part wanted to throw his arms around him and tell him that he still loved him. As Snape opened his mouth to speak, the former won out at that moment – Harry could not bear to hear whatever nasty thing was about to leave Snape’s mouth.
Harry almost spat at him, “This is Dumbledore’s hair-brained idea remember, not mine! So if I hear one nasty word come out of your mouth right now, so help me, I’ll hex you where you stand!” Harry lowered his eyes quickly to the magazine in his lap, and pretended to read. Secretly, however, he was a mess of emotions and hoped that Severus could not hear the loud beating of his heart.
Snape was stunned by Harry’s outburst. He opened his mouth to say something, but changed his mind and promptly left for his workroom.
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After reading his magazine, Quidditch Monthly, 10 times over, Harry moved onto his homework. By the end of the day, he had finished all of it. That was certainly a first – to be done with schoolwork before Christmas day! Now what was he supposed to do for the next two weeks? This is going to be a long break! Harry mused in frustration.
Snape broke the silence between them later that evening, with his usual charm, “Listen Potter…if we’re going to be stuck here in this infernal arrangement, we should use this time productively. We will resume your lessons tomorrow and I expect you to work and not be difficult or I will set fire to the dungeons if need be to get the Headmaster to release me from this farce.”
Difficult!? He has the gall to call *me* difficult! Harry mused angrily.
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With the exception of their lessons, Snape didn’t speak to Harry at all over the next two days. And Harry decided he certainly wasn’t going to speak to the man either if he was going to be so rude. Even when it came to their lessons, Snape had somehow figured out a way to minimize speaking. It was ridiculous. But, Harry supposed, it was back to business as usual between them.
One thing Harry couldn’t help noticing, however, was that Snape was not looking very healthy. He barely ate the food the house elves brought him and kept cursing them every time they showed up with more food. They had nervously explained that they were simply following Dumbledore’s orders. Snape had dark circles under his eyes, but it was also obvious from his temperament – which, up until now, Harry had thought couldn’t have gotten any worse – that the man hadn’t slept well for days. Harry could empathize with that. Since their ‘confrontation’ of four days ago, Harry had started taking Dreamless Sleep Draught. The nightmares he had the two nights while staying in Dumbledore’s quarters were enough to convince him to start taking it. Especially when Dumbledore had suggested he finish his Holidays confined with Snape.
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(Day 3)
Harry woke up bright and early on the third day of his captivity to loud, insistent tapping. It was Christmas morning and the presents were beginning to arrive, by owl and by floo. By the time Snape had entered the sitting room that morning, looking all mussed up and in a foul mood, Harry was surrounded by presents. The floor was littered with wrapping paper, bows and ribbons and Harry couldn’t help smiling at the first happy moment he had had in three days.
“Looks like you’re dreadfully popular as always, Potter,” Snape said snarkily.
Harry shot him a hateful look.
By the end of the morning, Harry took stock of what he had received. Hagrid had sent him treats and toys for Hedwig, who nipped playfully at him with approval. Mrs. Weasley had sent her normal Christmas sweater; this year’s was white with a giant red H on the front. Ginny had sent Harry a pocket watch and Ron had sent him an assortment of trick devices from Zonko’s. Fred and George had sent him a massive box of Christmas sweets; one in particular was labeled, ‘take right before the Christmas feast.’ Hermione had sent Harry two books – one describing what it takes to be a professional Quidditch player, the other a book on careers for wizards with extraordinary talents. Leave it to Hermione to worry about his future!
Fortunately for Harry, the day passed rapidly. After finishing his reading, Harry ate himself full of sweets while playing with the gadgets Ron had sent and doing his best to ignore Snape’s comments about his childish behavior.
“It’s Christmas for Merlin’s sake! It’s not my problem that you didn’t get any presents,” Harry said, but immediately regretted his harsh words.
As if the fates were determined to contradict him, a box came hurtling through the floo at that very moment, and hovered in mid air until Snape retrieved it. Snape examined the attached card carefully before opening it and Harry recognized it as Dumbledore’s writing as Snape opened the box. But despite craning his neck, Harry could not see what was inside. Snape stood there, staring at the contents for a long minute (perhaps more), apparently in absolute awe, before replacing the cover and taking the item into his bedroom.
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Later that evening, Harry left the dungeons the first minute he possibly could. He was desperate to spend some time away from Snape who was increasingly getting on his nerves. Here he was consigned to the dungeons with the man because Snape had gone ballistic on him, and Snape had the nerve to either ignore Harry completely or be a snarky bastard.
Harry had donned his Weasley Christmas sweater and taken Fred and George’s candy before making his way into the Great Hall. A look in the mirror caused him to laugh out loud. His hair had turned color in alternating stripes of red and green. He chatted with Hagrid for a long while before everyone arrived and took their seats. Harry sat directly across from Dumbledore who had Professor McGonagall on his left and Professor Snape on his right. On Harry’s left was Hagrid. To Harry’s right sat Madam Pomfrey, and Professors Flitwick, Sprout, Vector and Sinistra. All the other professors were away for the Holidays.
Dumbledore beamed at Harry’s hair, “How festive you look, Harry! Perhaps I should do that to my beard.”
“Merlin save me,” Snape muttered under his breath.
“What was that, Severus?” Dumbledore asked with a twinkle.
“Nothing,” he muttered. Suddenly remembering himself, Snape looked up at Dumbledore and spoke in a low, serious voice, “I…I wanted to thank you for the gift, Albus. I can’t even begin to…it is…absolutely extraordinary,” Snape said, clearly at a loss for words.
“My dear boy, I’m so very glad you like it,” Dumbledore began. He lowered his voice a bit as well and added seriously, “Your gift was quite exceptional as well, Severus. I daresay you really outdid yourself this year.”
Snape smiled at Dumbledore. Harry’s mouth dropped open. Snape was actually smiling – a real smile! He had never seen his face look so…kind before.
“I’m pleased you like it, Albus,” Snape said.
“You do have a knack for understatement, Severus,” Dumbledore replied with a twinkle.
“I think you’re confusing us, Albus. Understatement is your forte,” Snape said in a highly amused tone and Dumbledore began to chuckle as Snape’s smile grew even wider.
Harry wondered if he had missed something or if these two always spoke in code.
“You two are killing me with all this secrecy,” McGonagall interrupted, “what are these exceptionally extraordinary gifts you’ve gotten each other?”
“I don’t believe that’s any of your business, Minerva,” Snape said. McGonagall huffed in reply.
Harry heard McGonagall whisper to Dumbledore, “It looks like your hair-brained scheme isn’t working, Albus. The man’s in a foul mood. I think you should release poor Mr. Potter from this ridiculous imprisonment – it’s not right.”
“Patience, my dear Minerva,” Dumbledore whispered back, “they need to learn how to peacefully coexist.” And perhaps more than that, Dumbledore thought, but decided he would keep that little piece of information to himself. It would not do to give his Deputy Headmistress a heart attack.
Midway through the main course, Dumbledore apparently noticed, as Harry had, that Snape was not eating. He spoke, “Severus, do you not like the food? You haven’t even tried the stuffing.”
“What? Oh…I’m not hungry.”
McGonagall cast Snape a furtive glance and then looked at Harry, “Are you alright, Mr. Potter? I wouldn’t want to hear that one of my Gryffindors was being mistreated. Is Severus feeding you?”
Snape scowled in McGonagall’s direction. Harry replied, “Actually the house elves feed me, Professor, but I’m fine.”
Ignoring Snape to the best of his ability, Harry turned his attentions to Hagrid. He thanked him for his gift and then presented the half-giant with an assortment of treats and toys for Fang.
“How beautiful…you both have extended gift giving to your pets now,” Snape said mockingly.
But Hagrid didn’t hear him and started crying at Harry’s gift. He bumped the table and spilt pumpkin juice all over the fuming Snape.
A moment later, Dobby popped up next to Harry, “Happy Christmas, Harry Potter. Dobby made your present himself.”
Harry was not too surprised to find a multicolored knit scarf, which he placed around his neck promptly. Harry reached below his chair into his bag and pulled out a present for Dobby.
“Oh…Harry Potter is most generous with Dobby, sir,” and the elf squealed with excitement at the goofy hat that Harry had bought for him and popped away.
Snape was glowering, “Presents for the elves too, Potter?”
Harry turned to him and began, his annoyance reflected in his tone as well as his words, “I wanted to give it to him. It made him happy, and making others happy makes me happy. But that would be a foreign idea to you, wouldn’t it?”
Snape said nothing. McGonagall nearly choked with laughter.
“Professor McGonagall,” Harry said, “I have something for you too. Well actually it’s more for Gryffindor house, but I think you’ll like it.” McGonagall was more than pleased with the album Harry had put together for her containing a chronicle of every single Gryffindor Quidditch victory since she had started school at Hogwarts.
“How wonderful, Mr. Potter! Look Severus…there’s a picture of last year’s overwhelming victory over Slytherin, 250-30! Ah, the memories…” she said with a satisfied smile. Snape looked very irritated. She added, “And I expect another page to be added very shortly, Mr. Potter.”
“Of course, Professor.”
“And to help you out I have something for you as well,” McGonagall said, handing Harry a red box.
When Harry opened the box, he was surprised but thrilled to find new Quidditch gloves. He’d needed a new pair.
“Thanks, Professor. They’re great.”
“Isn’t this just so touching,” Snape drawled sarcastically. “Gifts between a student and their Head of House – how utterly nauseating.”
“You mean thoughtful, don’t you, Severus? I can’t help it if your Slytherins didn’t get you anything.”
Harry turned his attention finally to Dumbledore. “I got something for you as well, sir.”
Like a small child, Dumbledore eagerly ripped open his present and a very wide smile appeared on his face as he held up three pairs of plain wool socks. “How lovely, Harry.”
“They’re not just regular socks, sir. They’re self-cleaning and enchanted. Think about what kind of socks you’d like to be wearing at this moment.” Suddenly Christmas holly and snowmen along with animated snowfall appeared all over the socks Dumbledore was holding.
“How marvelous!” Dumbledore said, clapping his hands together.
“It will show any image you’d like, just think it and it will appear…including plain if you want.”
“I do not!” Dumbledore said, clearly appalled by the idea. “How very thoughtful of you, Harry. Ah, that reminds me, I did get something for you as well.”
“Oh sir, you didn’t have to.”
“Of course I didn’t. But I did,” Dumbledore beamed.
Harry held back tears as he perused the item, an album full of pictures of James and Lily Potter during their Hogwarts years.
“I had the elves scour the records for everything they could find. It’s not much I’m afraid.”
“It’s incredible, sir. Thank you so much.”
“My pleasure, my boy. Now let’s have some dessert.”
Through dessert, Harry conversed amiably with Dumbledore, McGonagall and Hagrid. Even though they weren’t his family, he supposed that this was what it was like to have a family – exchanging gifts, eating dinner together. The idea appealed to him very much. He only wished that Severus would be part of it – he had remained completely silent through the rest of the meal.
After they had finished dessert, Harry looked up at Dumbledore and said, “Thank you so much, Headmaster, for everything. This has been the best Christmas feast I’ve ever had.”
Snape muttered mockingly, “How very sad for you, Potter.”
Harry had had enough. He threw his silverware down on his plate with a loud clanging noise that made everyone stop their conversations and train their eyes on him. He pushed his chair back forcefully and stood up. “You’re such a damned git, you know that!” he yelled at Snape. “It’s no wonder you lock yourself in the dungeons all year – it’s probably written into your contract.”
Harry reached down behind his chair, pulled out his last wrapped parcel and flung it at the man.
“Happy Christmas, you rotten jerk!” Harry shouted before storming out of the Great Hall.
McGonagall and the rest of the faculty looked on in stunned shock at Harry’s outburst. Dumbledore, on the other hand, continued eating his Christmas Pudding throughout and looked quite amused. Snape seemed shocked as well and said nothing.
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After the Feast, Harry had gone straight to bed, having forgotten to take his Dreamless Sleep Draught. He woke with a start and as he fumbled in his bags to find the potion, he wondered if had made any noise and woken Severus. Harry made his way to the man’s bedroom door, but heard nothing. Then Harry felt the magical signature of the silencing charm Snape had cast. Harry stood by the door for many minutes before he reached for his wand and intermittently disabled the charm. He had to know.
He could hear what sounded to be a struggle going on in the bedroom. Snape was clearly tossing and turning violently in the bed. And then his voice, “My Lord please…NO…please don’t…don’t touch him…Harry!…please not Harry!” A throaty cry was followed a loud thud and then silence.
Realizing that Snape had probably fallen off his bed and awoken, Harry recast the silencing charm and went back to the couch. He wondered for a long time if he should knock on the door. But he knew that Severus would be livid if he found out that he had been spying on him – again! Harry had a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach – Severus was having horrible dreams about him – and from the sound of it, he was trying to protect him. Some things never change, Harry mused. With a heavy heart, Harry took his Dreamless Sleep Draught and thought of Severus no more that night.
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A/N: Thank you all for your comments and reviews. I enjoy them very much. Keep them coming.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
Author: Cocoa-Snape
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Harry Potter belongs exclusively to JKR…she is a goddess. I am making no money from this.
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Light on the Dark Side of Me
Chapter 24: Happy Christmas, you rotten jerk
(Day 1)
As Harry waited in the sitting room for Snape, he began to doubt his sanity for letting himself be a part of Dumbledore’s ridiculous plan. He wondered exactly what Dumbledore and Snape were discussing at this very moment. He mused that Snape was most likely trying to get out of this arrangement with threats of violence, and Harry hoped that Dumbledore remembered to order Snape not to kill him – otherwise, he was unlikely to make it out alive from this nearly two week stay.
Harry had mixed feelings about being in this room again. It was the place where he had felt so comfortable after his lessons, the place where he had gotten to know Severus – his habits, his quirks, and much more. But just a couple of days ago, he had seen a very different side of the man. After getting over his initial relief that Snape wasn’t a monster, he was left with a great deal of anger and confusion. Dumbledore had tried to explain it all to him – insisting that Snape wasn’t fully aware of his actions when he’d shown those things to Harry and made those threats. Harry was not convinced. Snape losing control? Not possible. But Dumbledore had persisted. Harry closed his eyes as his mind drifted back to the moment when the Headmaster had explained his crazy idea of having Harry stay with Snape in the dungeons for the rest of the Holidays.
.
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“No way,” Harry said, with horror in his eyes.
“He would never hurt you, Harry,” Dumbledore said simply.
A long silence stretched between them and Harry replied in a low voice, “I know that…but I don’t think I can.”
“He cares about you, Harry,” Dumbledore continued.
“But then why would he do that to me?” Harry asked, finally verbalizing the burning question in his mind.
Dumbledore sighed deeply before responding, “Severus Snape is the bravest man I have ever known. But he is afraid, Harry. And he is in unimaginable pain.”
And that Harry believed. Harry remembered the first time he had glimpsed Snape’s pain – when he had opened the man’s left shirt sleeve. His remembered wondering how such a simple gesture could produce such anguish. And of course, that was nothing compared to what was to come. Harry would never forget the horror-stricken look on his face when he deduced that Harry had dreamt about his rape. And then suddenly Harry recalled Snape’s drunken reverie after canceling their lesson that time, and remembered that that was their first lesson after he returned from that second fateful meeting with Voldemort. And it made sense – Snape had avoided him for weeks afterwards, and had barely spoken to him. He had stopped eating, bathing, and sleeping. And then there were the nightmares he had overheard. And of course, Harry could not forget the vision Dumbledore had shown him of Severus Snape besot with grief as he cried in Dumbledore’s bed, so hopeless, so tortured, so utterly lost.
“It is asking a lot of you, Harry,” Dumbledore continued, “and most importantly, I need you to know that this is your decision to make. I do not want to force you – you have been through quite an ordeal already. But…” Dumbledore paused for a moment, apparently collecting himself. As the man spoke, Harry could hear his voice crack ever so slightly, “Severus has gone through so many terrible things, Harry. I can’t even begin to tell you. And it’s my fault that I didn’t see sooner how important you were to him – and what impact it would have on Severus.”
“I don’t know what you mean,” Harry said in confusion.
“You have to understand, Harry. All Severus has ever had to worry about is himself. Earlier in his life, that was a consequence of his upbringing – his mother died when he was young and afterwards he never really had anyone that truly cared about or loved him. And now as a man, he’s chosen to remain isolated – his misanthropy has protected him from pain. And that changed so suddenly for him when you entered his life. On its own, your relationship was something very new and difficult for him. He could barely handle it. And then, on the heels of that…this past month has been filled with unspeakable horrors for Severus – each of which cruelly exploited his feelings for you.”
Harry understood. Snape had been raped because he refused to deliver Harry to Voldemort and then Snape had been forced to convince Voldemort that he was a pedophile who deepest darkest desire was to rape Harry so that he could regain Voldemort’s trust.
“If you choose to go through with this, Harry, I will confine Severus to his quarters for the remainder of the Holidays, but I shall spell the wards to let you out anytime you wish – should you feel unsafe and need to leave. Of course Severus won’t know that.”
Silence.
“Perhaps my child, you could try it…for 3 days time. Then you may leave if you still desire to,” Dumbledore pleaded.
More silence.
Dumbledore was growing worried now.
“He needs you, Harry,” Dumbledore said, his voice filled with unshakeable truth.
And suddenly in that moment, everything else was irrelevant to Harry. He knew he had to go.
.
.
Now as Snape walked into the sitting room – everything about him announced that he was enraged to have Harry forced upon him in such a manner. Harry slowly looked up at him. Seeing Snape, being in this room with him again, Harry didn’t know what to feel. Part of him wanted to rage at the man – scream, kick, hex, anything – to make him pay for the hell he’d put him through. Another part of him wanted to shrink in the corner in fear and anxiety. And another part wanted to throw his arms around him and tell him that he still loved him. As Snape opened his mouth to speak, the former won out at that moment – Harry could not bear to hear whatever nasty thing was about to leave Snape’s mouth.
Harry almost spat at him, “This is Dumbledore’s hair-brained idea remember, not mine! So if I hear one nasty word come out of your mouth right now, so help me, I’ll hex you where you stand!” Harry lowered his eyes quickly to the magazine in his lap, and pretended to read. Secretly, however, he was a mess of emotions and hoped that Severus could not hear the loud beating of his heart.
Snape was stunned by Harry’s outburst. He opened his mouth to say something, but changed his mind and promptly left for his workroom.
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After reading his magazine, Quidditch Monthly, 10 times over, Harry moved onto his homework. By the end of the day, he had finished all of it. That was certainly a first – to be done with schoolwork before Christmas day! Now what was he supposed to do for the next two weeks? This is going to be a long break! Harry mused in frustration.
Snape broke the silence between them later that evening, with his usual charm, “Listen Potter…if we’re going to be stuck here in this infernal arrangement, we should use this time productively. We will resume your lessons tomorrow and I expect you to work and not be difficult or I will set fire to the dungeons if need be to get the Headmaster to release me from this farce.”
Difficult!? He has the gall to call *me* difficult! Harry mused angrily.
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With the exception of their lessons, Snape didn’t speak to Harry at all over the next two days. And Harry decided he certainly wasn’t going to speak to the man either if he was going to be so rude. Even when it came to their lessons, Snape had somehow figured out a way to minimize speaking. It was ridiculous. But, Harry supposed, it was back to business as usual between them.
One thing Harry couldn’t help noticing, however, was that Snape was not looking very healthy. He barely ate the food the house elves brought him and kept cursing them every time they showed up with more food. They had nervously explained that they were simply following Dumbledore’s orders. Snape had dark circles under his eyes, but it was also obvious from his temperament – which, up until now, Harry had thought couldn’t have gotten any worse – that the man hadn’t slept well for days. Harry could empathize with that. Since their ‘confrontation’ of four days ago, Harry had started taking Dreamless Sleep Draught. The nightmares he had the two nights while staying in Dumbledore’s quarters were enough to convince him to start taking it. Especially when Dumbledore had suggested he finish his Holidays confined with Snape.
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(Day 3)
Harry woke up bright and early on the third day of his captivity to loud, insistent tapping. It was Christmas morning and the presents were beginning to arrive, by owl and by floo. By the time Snape had entered the sitting room that morning, looking all mussed up and in a foul mood, Harry was surrounded by presents. The floor was littered with wrapping paper, bows and ribbons and Harry couldn’t help smiling at the first happy moment he had had in three days.
“Looks like you’re dreadfully popular as always, Potter,” Snape said snarkily.
Harry shot him a hateful look.
By the end of the morning, Harry took stock of what he had received. Hagrid had sent him treats and toys for Hedwig, who nipped playfully at him with approval. Mrs. Weasley had sent her normal Christmas sweater; this year’s was white with a giant red H on the front. Ginny had sent Harry a pocket watch and Ron had sent him an assortment of trick devices from Zonko’s. Fred and George had sent him a massive box of Christmas sweets; one in particular was labeled, ‘take right before the Christmas feast.’ Hermione had sent Harry two books – one describing what it takes to be a professional Quidditch player, the other a book on careers for wizards with extraordinary talents. Leave it to Hermione to worry about his future!
Fortunately for Harry, the day passed rapidly. After finishing his reading, Harry ate himself full of sweets while playing with the gadgets Ron had sent and doing his best to ignore Snape’s comments about his childish behavior.
“It’s Christmas for Merlin’s sake! It’s not my problem that you didn’t get any presents,” Harry said, but immediately regretted his harsh words.
As if the fates were determined to contradict him, a box came hurtling through the floo at that very moment, and hovered in mid air until Snape retrieved it. Snape examined the attached card carefully before opening it and Harry recognized it as Dumbledore’s writing as Snape opened the box. But despite craning his neck, Harry could not see what was inside. Snape stood there, staring at the contents for a long minute (perhaps more), apparently in absolute awe, before replacing the cover and taking the item into his bedroom.
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Later that evening, Harry left the dungeons the first minute he possibly could. He was desperate to spend some time away from Snape who was increasingly getting on his nerves. Here he was consigned to the dungeons with the man because Snape had gone ballistic on him, and Snape had the nerve to either ignore Harry completely or be a snarky bastard.
Harry had donned his Weasley Christmas sweater and taken Fred and George’s candy before making his way into the Great Hall. A look in the mirror caused him to laugh out loud. His hair had turned color in alternating stripes of red and green. He chatted with Hagrid for a long while before everyone arrived and took their seats. Harry sat directly across from Dumbledore who had Professor McGonagall on his left and Professor Snape on his right. On Harry’s left was Hagrid. To Harry’s right sat Madam Pomfrey, and Professors Flitwick, Sprout, Vector and Sinistra. All the other professors were away for the Holidays.
Dumbledore beamed at Harry’s hair, “How festive you look, Harry! Perhaps I should do that to my beard.”
“Merlin save me,” Snape muttered under his breath.
“What was that, Severus?” Dumbledore asked with a twinkle.
“Nothing,” he muttered. Suddenly remembering himself, Snape looked up at Dumbledore and spoke in a low, serious voice, “I…I wanted to thank you for the gift, Albus. I can’t even begin to…it is…absolutely extraordinary,” Snape said, clearly at a loss for words.
“My dear boy, I’m so very glad you like it,” Dumbledore began. He lowered his voice a bit as well and added seriously, “Your gift was quite exceptional as well, Severus. I daresay you really outdid yourself this year.”
Snape smiled at Dumbledore. Harry’s mouth dropped open. Snape was actually smiling – a real smile! He had never seen his face look so…kind before.
“I’m pleased you like it, Albus,” Snape said.
“You do have a knack for understatement, Severus,” Dumbledore replied with a twinkle.
“I think you’re confusing us, Albus. Understatement is your forte,” Snape said in a highly amused tone and Dumbledore began to chuckle as Snape’s smile grew even wider.
Harry wondered if he had missed something or if these two always spoke in code.
“You two are killing me with all this secrecy,” McGonagall interrupted, “what are these exceptionally extraordinary gifts you’ve gotten each other?”
“I don’t believe that’s any of your business, Minerva,” Snape said. McGonagall huffed in reply.
Harry heard McGonagall whisper to Dumbledore, “It looks like your hair-brained scheme isn’t working, Albus. The man’s in a foul mood. I think you should release poor Mr. Potter from this ridiculous imprisonment – it’s not right.”
“Patience, my dear Minerva,” Dumbledore whispered back, “they need to learn how to peacefully coexist.” And perhaps more than that, Dumbledore thought, but decided he would keep that little piece of information to himself. It would not do to give his Deputy Headmistress a heart attack.
Midway through the main course, Dumbledore apparently noticed, as Harry had, that Snape was not eating. He spoke, “Severus, do you not like the food? You haven’t even tried the stuffing.”
“What? Oh…I’m not hungry.”
McGonagall cast Snape a furtive glance and then looked at Harry, “Are you alright, Mr. Potter? I wouldn’t want to hear that one of my Gryffindors was being mistreated. Is Severus feeding you?”
Snape scowled in McGonagall’s direction. Harry replied, “Actually the house elves feed me, Professor, but I’m fine.”
Ignoring Snape to the best of his ability, Harry turned his attentions to Hagrid. He thanked him for his gift and then presented the half-giant with an assortment of treats and toys for Fang.
“How beautiful…you both have extended gift giving to your pets now,” Snape said mockingly.
But Hagrid didn’t hear him and started crying at Harry’s gift. He bumped the table and spilt pumpkin juice all over the fuming Snape.
A moment later, Dobby popped up next to Harry, “Happy Christmas, Harry Potter. Dobby made your present himself.”
Harry was not too surprised to find a multicolored knit scarf, which he placed around his neck promptly. Harry reached below his chair into his bag and pulled out a present for Dobby.
“Oh…Harry Potter is most generous with Dobby, sir,” and the elf squealed with excitement at the goofy hat that Harry had bought for him and popped away.
Snape was glowering, “Presents for the elves too, Potter?”
Harry turned to him and began, his annoyance reflected in his tone as well as his words, “I wanted to give it to him. It made him happy, and making others happy makes me happy. But that would be a foreign idea to you, wouldn’t it?”
Snape said nothing. McGonagall nearly choked with laughter.
“Professor McGonagall,” Harry said, “I have something for you too. Well actually it’s more for Gryffindor house, but I think you’ll like it.” McGonagall was more than pleased with the album Harry had put together for her containing a chronicle of every single Gryffindor Quidditch victory since she had started school at Hogwarts.
“How wonderful, Mr. Potter! Look Severus…there’s a picture of last year’s overwhelming victory over Slytherin, 250-30! Ah, the memories…” she said with a satisfied smile. Snape looked very irritated. She added, “And I expect another page to be added very shortly, Mr. Potter.”
“Of course, Professor.”
“And to help you out I have something for you as well,” McGonagall said, handing Harry a red box.
When Harry opened the box, he was surprised but thrilled to find new Quidditch gloves. He’d needed a new pair.
“Thanks, Professor. They’re great.”
“Isn’t this just so touching,” Snape drawled sarcastically. “Gifts between a student and their Head of House – how utterly nauseating.”
“You mean thoughtful, don’t you, Severus? I can’t help it if your Slytherins didn’t get you anything.”
Harry turned his attention finally to Dumbledore. “I got something for you as well, sir.”
Like a small child, Dumbledore eagerly ripped open his present and a very wide smile appeared on his face as he held up three pairs of plain wool socks. “How lovely, Harry.”
“They’re not just regular socks, sir. They’re self-cleaning and enchanted. Think about what kind of socks you’d like to be wearing at this moment.” Suddenly Christmas holly and snowmen along with animated snowfall appeared all over the socks Dumbledore was holding.
“How marvelous!” Dumbledore said, clapping his hands together.
“It will show any image you’d like, just think it and it will appear…including plain if you want.”
“I do not!” Dumbledore said, clearly appalled by the idea. “How very thoughtful of you, Harry. Ah, that reminds me, I did get something for you as well.”
“Oh sir, you didn’t have to.”
“Of course I didn’t. But I did,” Dumbledore beamed.
Harry held back tears as he perused the item, an album full of pictures of James and Lily Potter during their Hogwarts years.
“I had the elves scour the records for everything they could find. It’s not much I’m afraid.”
“It’s incredible, sir. Thank you so much.”
“My pleasure, my boy. Now let’s have some dessert.”
Through dessert, Harry conversed amiably with Dumbledore, McGonagall and Hagrid. Even though they weren’t his family, he supposed that this was what it was like to have a family – exchanging gifts, eating dinner together. The idea appealed to him very much. He only wished that Severus would be part of it – he had remained completely silent through the rest of the meal.
After they had finished dessert, Harry looked up at Dumbledore and said, “Thank you so much, Headmaster, for everything. This has been the best Christmas feast I’ve ever had.”
Snape muttered mockingly, “How very sad for you, Potter.”
Harry had had enough. He threw his silverware down on his plate with a loud clanging noise that made everyone stop their conversations and train their eyes on him. He pushed his chair back forcefully and stood up. “You’re such a damned git, you know that!” he yelled at Snape. “It’s no wonder you lock yourself in the dungeons all year – it’s probably written into your contract.”
Harry reached down behind his chair, pulled out his last wrapped parcel and flung it at the man.
“Happy Christmas, you rotten jerk!” Harry shouted before storming out of the Great Hall.
McGonagall and the rest of the faculty looked on in stunned shock at Harry’s outburst. Dumbledore, on the other hand, continued eating his Christmas Pudding throughout and looked quite amused. Snape seemed shocked as well and said nothing.
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After the Feast, Harry had gone straight to bed, having forgotten to take his Dreamless Sleep Draught. He woke with a start and as he fumbled in his bags to find the potion, he wondered if had made any noise and woken Severus. Harry made his way to the man’s bedroom door, but heard nothing. Then Harry felt the magical signature of the silencing charm Snape had cast. Harry stood by the door for many minutes before he reached for his wand and intermittently disabled the charm. He had to know.
He could hear what sounded to be a struggle going on in the bedroom. Snape was clearly tossing and turning violently in the bed. And then his voice, “My Lord please…NO…please don’t…don’t touch him…Harry!…please not Harry!” A throaty cry was followed a loud thud and then silence.
Realizing that Snape had probably fallen off his bed and awoken, Harry recast the silencing charm and went back to the couch. He wondered for a long time if he should knock on the door. But he knew that Severus would be livid if he found out that he had been spying on him – again! Harry had a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach – Severus was having horrible dreams about him – and from the sound of it, he was trying to protect him. Some things never change, Harry mused. With a heavy heart, Harry took his Dreamless Sleep Draught and thought of Severus no more that night.
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A/N: Thank you all for your comments and reviews. I enjoy them very much. Keep them coming.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter.