All I Ever Wanted

DISCLAIMER: Warning! I make no claim to any property of J.K. Rowling's, and am in no way profiting by this. I do offer her my sincerest thanks for allowing us this garden of the mind in which we play. Further Warning! This story...and likely any I ever write...are dominated by gay themes and characters. That's how it is, if this in any way makes you uncomfortable...do not read further.

"All I Ever Wanted" chap. 24 'Closer'

The day's classes came to an end and Draco made it back to his and Harry's suite without incident. He stood outside the door a moment, steeling himself for the intensity that would make up the rest of his evening. His hand slipped into his pocket and pulled out the jewel that now traveled with him every day. He stared into the face of the amethyst and let the two images carry him away from everything for a moment.

In the heart of the jewel, it was so easy to see why he loved Harry. Only a man with a spirit full of wonder and love could have made a thing like this just for him. That precious memory, that first incredible kiss, trapped in a matrix of crystal, to stand as a permanent record of a love that shouldn't be hidden or quashed. Then, more telling than any memory, Harry standing and mouthing the words 'I love you', sober, conscious and deliberately for the first time.

The only time he'd ever spoken those words to anyone, and they had been spoken to him, Draco Malfoy, the son of a Death Eater, notorious slut, childhood rival and ruthless liar. A man who could see through all that and love him could not be bad. Maybe stubborn and wrong headed and afraid, but never evil, never deliberately cruel. This was worth working for, it just had to be. Mind made up, and full of new determination, Draco stepped through the door and faced the conversation they needed to have.

Harry put down his pen and stood up from the study desk, looking so very tall and fine, even though his brow was furrowed with tension and fear. Draco smiled at the sight of him, and thought of the jewel in his pocket, then stepped into Harry's arms and hugged the big git.

"Told you everything's fine. If you have to defend my honor just throw a few Petrificus or Expelliarmus at people. No one's going to worry about that."

Harry chuckled, then leaned down to kiss Draco's cheek, jerking away in shame when Draco winced with pain from his hidden bruise. Harry gulped back his tears, determined not have another collapse.

"Gods, Draco. I don't know how to say how sorry I really am. The vision...with Voldemort, I just couldn't take seeing someone hurting you. I went off so fast I never had time to think. I'd never, ever hurt you. If I'd just looked I'd have seen you or something, but I was out of control. I know it's wrong, but when I think of people hurting you I just...I kind of go crazy. I promise I'll try to get a grip on myself and practice some Occlumency to get control of my mind. That's what I spent the last three hours on; I just want to be safe for you. I'll do anything."

Draco let him ramble a bit longer, put a finger on his lover's lips to hush him, then sat down on the edge of the bed, motioning for Harry to sit beside him.

"Harry, we'll be fine. I know you're worried about me, but I'm not a fragile little flower. I know I'm pretty and you can't possibly hope to resist my many charms, but I am not a spun glass ornament that will crumble from a little rough handling. I trust you not to hurt me, but you have to get this through your handsome but thick head...I'm a bottom, not a fucking maiden to be rescued. I can handle some bumps and scrapes, and I'll get well if I get hurt. I'll also make people pay for any crimes against me in my own time and way. I won't throw myself in the path of mortal danger, the world has Gryffindors for that...I'll be in the background coming up with a plan or spell that will fuck up my enemies' world. Your job is to execute said plan or spell. Meditate on that for awhile and maybe you'll calm down some."

Harry seemed greatly relieved and made it clear that he was able to grasp these basic truths. They slumped into a long and happy snogging session that did much to plane away the rough edges around their moods.

Eventually Draco mustered the sense to broach the touchy topic of his father. Harry listened with patience and a look of earnest sympathy, even when hearing of Lucius being up for the Kiss. He didn't look gleeful or happy, just concerned...and sad.

"I'll ask McGonagall if I can go with you Saturday. I don't know if I actually want to see Lucius myself, since I know he doesn't like me and I don't want it to be the worse for you, but I can be there when you're done. I think, for this, she'd let me go. I know she sounded awful today, but she really isn't that bad. She was just very disappointed in me. You shouldn't have to do this alone; she'll see that right off."

"Don't worry too much. I can deal with it if I have to, but I just really want you around afterwards. Sometimes my father is a bit, well...how to put it...vicious. He wasn't always like that, Harry. He used to be wonderful when I was little. When Voldemort made his presence known he started getting weirder and quieter and meaner. Now he just sits in that cell all day, saving up anger to take out on visitors. Mother won't even go to see him anymore. I'd kind of like to visit her briefly, too. Just to see her, since she hasn't been writing like she used to, and I haven't seen her since the holidays. Would you be okay seeing Malfoy Manor just for an hour or so? It's warded against everyone but Mother and myself, so I'm sure it's safe for me to bring you through."

Harry looked at him with real pride. "I'd love to see where you grew up. I never thought I'd look forward to going to Malfoy Manor, but I just really want to see where you came from. Just one of those things I always took for granted, and that I suddenly knew I was all wrong about the day after we got together. You know I'm really sorry about your mother being ill. If there's a way I can help you or her I'll do it. I'm honored even to be asked."

They curled back into each other's arms and settled down to some more long overdue snogging. Draco asked about the need for an Energizing Spell or a potion, and Harry, who was working his way down the side of Draco's neck with hungry lips, informed him that nothing was needed, he felt very, very well. He then proceeded to prove the point by pulling Draco's hand down to the straining bulge in Harry's slacks.

They lolled about in silence, save for the occasional smacking of lips or the stray moan or sigh of pleasure. They took their time of it, peeling away layers of clothing with agonizing slowness, each article of clothing slipping to the floor after a few more minutes spent snogging each other half crazy.

They let the time tick by as they worked their way to naked splendor, exploring each other's bodies with busy, grateful hands and probing tongues. Harry lavished attention around Draco's groin, just as had been done to him the morning before. This time he followed Draco's cruel pattern of shifting rhythms, never allowing a single pace to bring Draco to orgasm.

Draco was taut as a harp string and almost vibrating with tension when Harry slipped away from his ministrations and whispered into his lover's ear, "I want you inside of me...please, I love you, Draco," then reached to the jar of lubricant and began to work his slick hand around Draco's swollen member.

Draco was flushed and nervous, but at least the fact that he was desperately horny was covering his tension about this. He loved the way that strong hand was working his erection, and he slipped his fingers into the jar and took a dollop of lubricant for himself.

Still kissing while Harry stroked him, Draco slipped his hand around Harry's waist and began to massage and oil Harry's virgin entrance. This was about as far as he had ever gotten with anyone...as far as topping went.

No one had ever excited him quite the way Harry did, and the notion of being in someone else's body had never attracted him before. Yet, when Harry broke their kiss with a feverish moan as Draco's fingers teased and oiled him, Draco felt his own erection twitching in excitement in Harry's hand, precome slipping from the head and mingling with the oil already soaking his stiff and aching dick.

Harry silently rolled onto his stomach and submitted to Draco's every touch with quiet sounds of pleasure and small laughs. When the time came, Harry was sprawled before him...long limbs spread like a great and lazy panther, green eyes shining with curiosity and an almost feral hunger.

Draco's breath was hitched in his throat. He was poised at Harry's back, knees between Harry's legs, oiled and ready, but terrified. He pressed the very head of his dick against that slicked and waiting opening, then pushed slowly forward. He hadn't gotten the angle right, and he heard Harry's tiny hiss and felt muscles tighten in rebellion against what he was attempting.

He waited, stroking the muscles of Harry's back, massaging the tension from those muscles the way a long absent, and now meaningless, former partner had once done for him his first time. Harry slowly settled himself and started to push back against the intruding member, welcoming it, experimenting with its feel, and teasing Draco with small motions that hinted at the deeper entry yet to come.

As Harry made himself comfortable, Draco was able to slide a little further with every passing minute, still surprised when he realized that the entire head of penis was securely inside his lover's body.

How alien it felt! Not at all unpleasant, especially since Harry had such a magnificent body, all tawny muscles and smooth, lean limbs. The heat and tightness that enveloped his aching member was the most confusing part of it. It did feel good, as good as any mouth or fist ever had. Perhaps not better, but fine in its own way.

Harry was still shifting his hips in slow but determined little strokes that drew Draco in further still. Draco pulled back gently, then slid forward in a slow and even way, only going a little further than he had been when he started the move. Harry purred out a vocal rhythm of contentment as Draco kept doing just that, taking himself and Harry a little further as he went.

Soon he found himself pressed firmly into Harry's backside, his sac brushing against the back of Harry's, completely buried in Harry's soft and welcoming heat. The friction was new to him; his pace wasn't certain, and he hadn't the slightest notion what he was doing...but Harry seemed comfortable and relaxed, occasionally running a hand behind him to stroke Draco's thigh, as well as sighing and uttering quiet little benedictions of approval and love.

Draco had no urge to orgasm, not like this, even though he liked that Harry seemed pleased. He tried a few changes; he needed to find that spot his finger had found so easily before. It was a lot harder than he'd imagined; manipulating an unseen spot inside another person with his penis was surprisingly hard to accomplish. He suddenly appreciated the handful of dates over the years who had at least bothered to try.

He knew instantly when he'd found it. Harry responded with a sudden tightening around him and a low moan that actually filled him with pride. He had a good feel for how to find that perfect place and ran with it...Harry's moans changed from low and long to short and high within minutes. That impressive tool was jutting out from under Harry's left hip and leaking an equally impressive amount of precome onto the sheets.

Draco worked harder and more enthusiastically on Harry in just that one way, even though it was an effort that was making him sweat from head to toe. His breath was short and ragged while he kept that wicked pace Harry seemed to enjoy so much.

The muscles of his thighs and calves were burning; his eyes were stinging from drops of sweat and his vision was almost swimming when Harry reached his limit and tensed violently, shouting loudly and laughing in desperate relief, his twitching cock spurting onto the sheets beneath them again and again.

Every burst from Harry brought the sensation of a hot, slick, and tightly clenched fist around Draco's cock. That and Harry's cries finally pushed him over the edge and he felt his own organ jerking inside Harry. The sensitivity of his own head increased a hundredfold in an instant, and suddenly he screamed incoherent curses and blessings into Harry's ears as he exploded, breathless and exhausted into his lover's arse. He collapsed onto Harry's back, a sweating and aching wreck, barely able to register the sound of Harry's deliriously happy laughter beneath him.

Draco remembered Harry rolling him over onto his back, as he seemed to be having difficulty lifting his own limbs...no wonder some of his old dates had passed out snoring immediately after sex! He was exhausted the way a man who had taken a ten mile jog uphill would be.

His lungs felt they were going to implode, his legs were shaking even though he attempted to lay still. Harry was kissing him on the neck and shoulders; it was all he could do to turn his head and make a weak smile for Harry to kiss, and even that had to end...he still needed air and Harry's face was in the way. Harry seemed to be in a cuddling mood, so Draco grabbed his head and pulled it to his chest, stroking his fingers through that messy dark hair while Draco recuperated in silence.

Harry stood up and wobbled toward the bathroom, the oddest look on his face. Draco spared himself a chuckle. For once one of his sex partners would have a clue as to why he always wound up excusing himself afterwards. That was a small comfort.

Draco was fairly certain he had no great desire to feel this way again, not that it had been that awful, but his inner nature seemed to declare that this was far more work for a mere orgasm than he was able to endure...and still have the strength left to properly enjoy the actual fucking orgasm.

His respect for the concept of 'topping' had increased quite a bit, though. He'd been with 'bad' and 'good' and even some 'great' tops before, but now he had a keener understanding of what set the best apart from the worst.

Harry really was an athlete of champion level in bed, and in the short time they'd been lovers, he'd proven over and over again that he had stamina, patience and a strong sense of empathy that helped him find what pleased Draco best. What had nearly killed Draco to manage once, was something that Harry delivered up without complaint a half dozen times in a single night, all with unflagging enthusiasm and gentle skill. No wonder he'd been hooked on Harry after one half-remembered night!

Harry stalked back into the room, a tall, dark, handsome satyr with wonderfully mussed hair and an expression of adoration on his face. He curled up beside Draco with a very satisfied air about him, sighing happily and using his wand to cast a few Cleaning Spells for the both of them.

He settled in next to a sedate and nearly comatose Draco. "It couldn't have been that bad, love. I'd have guessed you enjoyed it by the way you filled me up like a sodding water balloon when you had it off. You were great. I mean...I know I don't really have anyone else to go by for a comparison, but I thought you were really good. Rough going at the first, but you were really nice about going easy 'til I was okay with it." He curled closer and kissed Draco's sweating brow and flushed cheek. "Are you alright, love? Can't you say anything?"

Draco opened his mouth, gasping like a fish for a second before words came to him. "How...do...you...do...this...so...easy? I think I'm gonna die. Everything hurts. My legs, my thighs, my back, my chest...Gods. I don't think I can move. I know I came and all, but I don't think I'm cut out for this. You'd better not be thinking about this again for months, because I think I need that long just to recover."

"No pressure love, I promise. I just wanted you to be my first in every way, and now I'm finally your real first at something like this! I'm not saying I'll never want this again. Frankly, I want you any way I can have you, but I'm fine doing anything as long as it's with you. Honestly, I just thought it would bring us closer to do that, and I think it did."

Harry gave every sign of being completely sated, although a good part of that was that soft burn of friction that was following on the heels of his orgasm, making his backside distinctly uncomfortable. How Draco found that appealing was utterly beyond him.

He'd liked the parts where Draco had been comfortably inside him, but the entry and the aftermath had been nothing to sing and dance over. Additionally, Harry privately thanked the Gods that Draco did not have an appendage of similar size to his own. Knowing what it felt like to have one inside him, he had a sudden clarity about what would have happened to him if anything the size of his own had tried to go in him. It wasn't a comforting thought.

Draco had most of his wind back at last. He pulled himself up to the pillows and laid back gently, amazed at the way the little muscles of his stomach were shrieking in protest.

"Merlin, Harry, I feel like I've been tortured by Death Eaters for the last hour. How you lot manage to enjoy yourselves doing that is a mystery to me. I can't say you don't have a dead sexy ass, you really do, but if you put me through this anytime soon it might be the fucking death of me." Harry was pulling the covers over them and righting the sheets.

"That's alright, love, I just really wanted this tonight. I guess I wanted to show that I trust you to not hurt me. I feel like I owe you that much respect, after what I did. I really love you, every way, no conditions." Harry slid in beside him, idly stroking Draco's chest.

"Oh...Harry, you don't owe me anything for being here. This is what I want. I wanted to be here, and maybe there are some scary parts I'm just getting used to, but I love you. If you owe me anything...it's six months of shagging me stupid for putting me through the wringer tonight."

They both laughed and curled into 'spoon' mode proper. They chattered of small things, finally enjoying each other's closeness as they should have all along. Sleep crept upon them slow but sure, and they drifted off to slumber peacefully, sore and tired, but happy in the face of everything that daunted them. As long they had each other, nothing seemed quite so awful.