Sing for Me, Cry for Me

24. A Veela Isn’t He?


Harry couldn’t sleep. He was tossing and turning falling in and out of daze with voices whispering in his head. Voices. Voices. Everywhere voices. One voice was hissing in his ear: “You belong to me Harry. You are my mate. Don’t you ever forget that.” Another voice was kind and gentle softly whispering “Voice. Voice is a very powerful instrument, Harry. Especially such as yours. You know that there are some magical creatures that find their mates by their voice?” He heard his own uncertain trembling voice answering: “No. Who?” “Veela.” “Veela?” Veela find their mates by their voice. Your voice. Voice. Sing for me. You are my mate. My mate. My mate echoed through every fibre of Harry’s heart and soul.

Harry sat bolt upright in his bed. Here go the answers to all of my questions. How did Lucius find out that I am his mate? He heard me singing. The bastard heard me singing. Lucius Malfoy is a Veela. “There are magical creatures like werewolves, vampires, Veelas and others that do have a specific thing by which they recognize their mates. But they keep the knowledge about their soulmates and how they find them and how they afterwards perform the bond to themselves. Their bonding is much more strong and complicated and takes longer than a common one.” It had to be done. It’s inevitable. You are my mate. You belong to me. It is forever.

Harry jumped out of bed and not bothering to put on his Invisibility Cloak ran off to the library. But when he was half way there he stopped abruptly and shook his head. No! There are no books on Veela. I don’t remember any. Besides how can there be books on Veelas and their mates if it’s a secret held within community? Damn!

Harry slid down the wall. But at least I know what I’ve been looking for. Lucius is a Veela and I am his mate he sensed me by the sound of my voice and claimed me. I wonder if that how it happens with Veela. Was it supposed to happen the moment he found me? Couldn’t he wait? Was he supposed to rape me on the spot? He said he had to that means that it is indeed the way it goes. But where should I find all the information I need. No one in their right mind would give me a book on soulmates and bonding, especially on Veela. Maybe I should write to Lucius. But one thought about Lucius made Harry’s heart rip open and bleed. If we are mates why is he hurting me so much? Pictures of Lucius and his wife started floating in front of his eyes. Harry started shaking violently. Whispers and hissing started penetrating his mind again. His head was spinning. Everything around was spinning faster and faster. He shut his eyes and pressed his palms to them. He tried to stop the spinning, the dizziness that overwhelmed him but he couldn’t. All he could see was Lucius and his wife. He felt cold again. He felt bleeding again. He couldn’t breathe again. He clutched at his throat. He felt his head falling back and hitting the wall and then all became dark with no voices and no pictures. Just darkness everywhere. Such welcoming darkness.

Someone was shaking him by the shoulder. Harry squinted his eyes to see who was taking him out of the darkness. But he couldn’t see properly because of the mist in his eyes. But he could hear the voice. Familiar voice. Though not the voice from his head.

“Potter?”

“Professor Snape?”

“Potter what do you think you’re doing lying in the hall in the middle of the night?”

Harry started shaking again. He felt like something was trying to get out of his throat and after a minute or so he threw up. It helped. The shaking subsided and Harry leaned back closing tiredly his eyes.

“Professor Snape could you…”

Snape shook himself out of his shock and guessing what Potter wanted cleaned the space.

“Thank you. I forgot my wand.”

“I see. Now that you made yourself comfortable once again I repeat my question: what do you think you’re doing lying in the hall in the middle of the night not in the best state of health?”

“Are you concerned sir?”

“Hardly. But I need to know the reason so that I knew exactly how many points I can take.”

“Funny you never stopped to consider before. Anyway, I was just going to the library.”

“Indeed?”

“Yes sir.”

“As much as I am astounded by your love and devotion for knowledge I don’t think that night is the best time to visit a library Potter.”

“It was important sir. It couldn’t wait.”

“Well of course. How could I forget that everything is important if it’s about you Potter.”

“D’you mind professor? It is important damn it! And it is about your dear friend! A Veela isn’t he? I was going to the library to find a book on them but then I remembered that there are no such books there or maybe there are but only in the restricted section. Though as far as I understand such books are not kept in school libraries or in book stores.”

Snape was looking at Harry for some time and finally said:

“Can you walk?”

Harry looked up:

“I hope so.”

“Than move your ass and follow me. I’m not going to wait.”

“Follow you sir?”

“Yes follow me Potter. Is this order so hard to understand?”

“Are you giving me a detention sir?”

“Potter don’t be thick. I don’t have the slightest wish to spend the whole night supervising your detention. Especially in the state you are now. You can hardly walk and I am not that cruel.”

“Well that’s definitely a first.” said Harry trying to get up of the floor but somehow failing.

Snape held his hand so that Harry could lean upon it and helped him to get up. He held Harry all through the way to his chambers. Harry guessed that that was the place they were heading to.

When they finally reached Snape’s quarters Harry started shaking again but before he could ask where the bathroom was he was once again directed by Snape. Harry threw up again and again until he finally could sit still without shaking. Snape just shook his head. He couldn’t understand what was happening. As far as he knew nothing like that was supposed to happen and judging by Harry’s state before things between him and Lucius progressed rather good. But something must have happened to affect Harry like this. He needed to know what was the reason and the best way to get his answers was to bait Harry.

“I hope Lucius can pay me off for taking care of his lover.”

Harry shuddered and started shivering again. His trembling rasping voice was hardly audible when he hissed:

“Don’t mention his name.”

And with that he retched again still more fiercely than before. Snape was alerted. That was no good. The boy was obviously suffering a great deal and the fact that the mention of Lucius’ name made him vomit all over wasn’t one bit reassuring.

“What did he do?”

“He was born.” answered Harry wearily and threw up again.

Things were definitely not good. Disastrous even. Something was bothering Harry from within and the only way he could let it out was to throw up everything he had inside. If it went a bit longer he would start throwing up his internal organs. Snape went out and came back with a potion that would help to restore Harry’s physical strength. It was obvious that whatever it was it was happening inside his heart and there was no potion to cure or restore that problem but at least the boy would be able to walk on his own.

When Harry was master enough of his voice he asked:

“Why did you bring me here?”

“To give you the book you need.”

“How did you get one?”

“You don’t really think that being a Veela’s friend is easy?”

“Frankly speaking professor I haven’t given much thought to Veelas at all. How was I supposed to know that he was a Veela. The only thing I knew is that he was and always will be a first rate bastard.”

Snape smirked:

“Well Potter each of us has its own cross to bear.”

“God professor you really lifted up my spirits.”

“That was hardly my intentions. Here.” he handed Harry the book.

Harry took the book and read the title “Veelas and half Veelas. Their origin, traditions, rituals and lifestyle.”

Harry looked questioningly at Snape:

“Half Veela?”

“That’s your one. Though there is not much difference between them if any at all.”

“I see.”

Harry slowly stood up and shakily exited the bathroom.

“Thank you professor.”

Snape was looking at Harry and at the state he was in and after awhile when Harry was already at the door asked:

“Potter are you sure you will reach your dorm before morning comes?”

“I don’t think I have a choice professor.”

Snape looked rather uncomfortable as if debating with himself over something and Harry wondered what that was all about.

“Well, Potter, you can stay here in my chambers.” suggested Snape after a long pause.

Harry’s jaw dropped and he started shaking his head frantically.

“Please professor don’t frighten me like that ever again. You already helped me more than enough. And you were too kind to me as it is taking into account our past relations and now you are all so nice that it scares me. Are you sure that you’re all right?”

“Potter!” snarled Snape with a growl.

Harry smiled.

“Well, that’s the Snape I know. I’m glad that you’re back to your old self professor. Thank you for your concern. I really appreciate it. And thank you for the book. But I think I will try to reach my dorms in this century at least. Well I guess I’ll see you later than.”

“Indeed you will and now get out of here before I will take away…”

“All points from Gryffindor?”

“Potter…”

“I’m leaving. Already. See I am out of the door.”

“Thankfully. And Potter if there is anything you wish to … talk about…”

Harry sighed:

“I know where to find you now professor.”

***

“Harry you look like shit!” declared Ron at the Gryffindor table during breakfast.

“Thank you Ron. That is exactly what my soul was craving to hear early in the morning and from my best friend no less.”

“But you are Harry. Whatever have you been doing all night? You can’t play like that today. We might very well have to scrub you off the ground.”

“Gee Ron you really are a support today.”

“Harry, I’m serious. Don’t play today.”

“I don’t think I have much of a choice. Besides I played in far worse conditions and somehow managed it alive. And you’re forgetting one thing it is not going to be a battle of the century just a game against Slytherin and it’s not like Draco will try something foul. After all he is now as much a mother hen as you when it concerns me.”

But Harry indeed was out of it. After he spend half the night in the hall, after throwing up innumerous times, after his conversation with Snape he came back to his dorm which took longer than it usually did but quicker than he would have expected and started reading the book. He was shocked to discover that his soul was supposedly growing inside of him now and feeding upon his positive emotions.

“Well it’s not like you have much to feed upon now.” he said wryly into the night.
The bonding itself both fascinated and scared the shit out of him. He tried to imagine what it would be like to be engulfed in silvery mist of that orb and he wondered what shape it would take, how Lucius and he would be represented. He was reading and reading until it was morning and with not even an hour of sleep he was going to play Quidditch while he felt incredibly empty and numb. He briefly wondered if he would have strength enough to mount his broom but as it happened he managed to do it just fine and when he was already in the air he felt way better. He soared in the sky under the gaze of Draco who was keeping a close watch on him lest anything happened. Ron warned him that Harry wasn’t feeling well and that he wasn’t sure how today’s game would effect him. But as it turned out flying only made Harry stronger. Harry wondered if the reason he felt better was because he was bubbling with positive emotions so high in the free sky and that his soul was having a sort of a feast right now. The image made him smile. It was still difficult to believe that souls were treated almost like something human. They had their own image, they could grow, they could eat, they could leave your body, and they could bond.

Draco was so preoccupied with watching out for Harry that he completely forgot that it was actually Snitch he was supposed to look for. Harry though in a kind of reverie managed to catch the sight of Snitch just in time to race after it and catch it in no time. But while the small shining ball was fluttering in his hand he decided that flying was one thing but racing full speed was something he really didn’t need to do today. He was still in mid air with people cheering loudly in the stands. Something caught his eye. He looked in the direction where something was glittering and calling for his attention. It was a wrong thing to do. He thought that he was much like a butterfly that was attracted to the light and he was sure to get burnt. The silvery snakelike cane was shining at the sun as well as the moonlight hair. Steel grey eyes captured Harry in their trap and before he could even take another breath he was falling down. He was falling into the darkness again and he smiled. He started liking this darkness. Somewhere within the darkness he heard his voice sing:


I follow the night
Can't stand the light
When will I begin to live again

One day I'll fly away
Leave all this to yesterday
What more could your love do for me
When will love be through with me
Why live life from dream to dream
And dread the day when dreaming ends

Harry woke up with a start. He was sure that he heard someone saying a spell. He opened his eyes and saw Madame Pomfrey’s stupefied body falling on the floor. He looked in the direction of the voice and saw Lucius Malfoy tucking in his wand. Harry sighed, closed his eyes again, sank further into the pillow and muttered:

“Typical.”