Cracking the Gold

Author\'s Note: Bah. Sorry it\'s taken a while. School shit with exams coming up. ^_^ Enjoy and don\'t kill me?

Disclaimer: See Introduction

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Harry was a mess; literally, mentally, physically. He lay curled into as much of a ball on the floor as he could manage, trembling, crying in pain and defeat, head buried against the floor as he sobbed. The only positive thing he could think of was figureing he was safe to assume he wasn\'t going to be pregnant after that... But everything else quickly took over as he trembled, weak and searing in pain, wishing then more than ever he could kill himself.


Draco huffed, transferring the rooting of Ron\'s binding charm to the floor, keeping him effectively pinned before padding over to coax Harry\'s arms free from the bath, scooping him up easily, shaking his head still.


Harry tensed immensely at the others touch, trying to pry himself away in a panic. He whimpered in a quiet voice, hoarse from the long minutes of screaming, trying to weakly scramble free of the other\'s grasp, trembling.

Ron\'s lip almost curled up in anger. He felt sick from watching what he just had, and he felt like passing out or -- something. \"Don\'t you dare touch him Ferret!!\" He was on the edge of growling himself, if he knew how. But if that ferret harmed Harry anymore---Ron would be vastly tempted to learn how to AK wandless. It wasn\'t like he didn\'t have the time anymore.


Draco simply ignored Ron\'s outburst, he\'d deal with the redhead later, he had more important things to deal with at the moment. A quick flick of his wand cleared the broken glass from the tub and drained the bloody water. He shook his head, filling it again with warm water, not too deep, lowering Harry gently into it, searching through the bottles for something that would help with injuries.


Harry huddled in a corner, burying his head in his arms curled protectively against his chest. He\'d never felt more like a child, never been so abused. Everything was gone to him now...everything. He felt as if Riddle simply had the power to ruin everything in his life--even take what he had left of a will from inside him.

He was in Azkaban--the horrible sensations and his screams echoing in his head as the previous minutes were determined to play over and over in his head, tormenting him until he went crazy. He curled his legs up to his chest, arms barricading between them as he sat, ass and back buried in a corner where he was sure nothing could sneak up behind him. He felt ill...very very ill...


Draco sighed heavily, simply picking Harry up to set him in the bath, trying his hardest not to touch any of the injuries, those Harry had inflicted himself and those that Tom had done, \"I\'m sorry pet. Truly I am.\"


Ron scoffed at this, scowling at Ferret. \"What the bloody Merlin do you know about anything of the sort?! You\'re a Ferret, Malfoy! The lowest of the grease trolley!\" He glared and fought the binding spell, wanting to help Harry---er---firstly to get dressed.

Harry trembled, tensing up at the touches and burying his face in further to his arms, but he recognized the touches as gentler, not meaning to harm, and this allowed him to relax slightly, though he was still terrified that this was all a prank and Malfoy would soon turn on him as well. He wanted to ignore this and wanted everything to go away, so he simply leaned into the stronger blonde, seeking the better affection he seemed to be giving for a short period of time. Harry found he had to remind himself to breathe when his mind raced too far back to those moments of terror.


Draco snarled over at the redhead, \"If you want to help him right now shut the bloody hell up.\" He shook himself then, picking up his wand once more and doing what he could to mend the worst of the cuts, not really anything he could do for the internal damages, or the mental.


Ron glared at Ferret, but shut up, crossing his arms across his chest as he flopped on the ground as if he\'d just been told he\'d have no candy for a week--and he was two years old.

Harry winced at the raising of Draco\'s wand, remembering the last time he\'d raised it in such a way, he\'d been given an Unforgiveable. Another time his vision was repaired, but he\'d forgotten about that for the time being. Feeling the pain gently subsiding, his scar no longer melting his face off in pain, he relaxed slowly, turning to bury his face against whatever was right there.


Draco sighed softly, shaking his head as he reached for a washcloth, dipping it into the warm water, already beginning to turn pink around Harry, gently sluicing it down his back and over his shoulders.


Relaxing a bit more at this, Harry dared to open his eyes, hoping everything had been a very realistic dream. Green met silver, and he knew it hadn\'t been, but his gaze lingered for a moment before dropping to the water. \"I...I\'m sorry...\" he whispered hoarsely, skin covered in goosebumps.

Ron\'s mouth dropped. \"Sorry?! What in the name of a bloody Merlin do you have to be sorry about!? He let the....that creep.....hurt you!!\" His face was redder than his hair he was so enraged.


Draco shook his head at Harry\'s apology, turning a glare that could crack concrete on the redhead, \"Do shut up toy, or I\"ll shut you up.\" His voice had gone dangerously quiet then, shaking his head as he turned back to Harry, trailing his fingers through the other\'s hair, \"It\'s alright Harry, all you ahve to do right now is relax, take a deep breath, everything will look better in the morning.\"


Ron felt like he was in another universe. Was he seeing Ferret looking concerned about the other? Comforting him none-the-less? He must have been more knackered than he thought. He felt his forehead.

Harry winced away from Draco\'s fingers, shivering as he thought of the tight grip Riddle had had only moments earlier. Nothing felt right. The air seemed to want to avoid him, leaving him shallow breathed half the time; his mind wanted comfort, to just give in and cling to Draco for his life and stay there, but his deeper mind told him not to, and his body hated all contact then. Harry wanted to cry, but no tears came--he wanted to slip away into that abyss that was waiting for him, but it was always just out of reach.


Draco winced slightly, drawing back, petting a moment at Harry\'s shoulders and back instead, still murmuring softly, cleaning what of the injuries he could with the washcloth, trying to remember more of his healing training.


Ron groaned in discomfort. He hated seeing his best mate so much in pain, hated more seeing him naked. He turned around, laying on the ground with his forehead on the cool floor. His face was burning in embarassment of what he\'d just seen, in anger for being unable to help.

Harry felt as if he should be in a mental institute then; shaking and terrified of Malfoy\'s touches. He had been starting to accept that he rather enjoyed the other\'s attentions, that this wouldn\'t have been as bad. He realized that this was his mistake in heading into the washroom.

Flirting with Draco before he intended to kill himself kept that in his mind, kept the feelings of flutters in his stomach, preventing him from completely wanting to die. But now things were worse, now Harry realized that Malfoy was nothing more than he\'d first thought. He had no intentions of helping Harry at all, he simply kept him for the power, for the blood, the amusement. He\'d allowed his \'pet\' to be abused, and Harry could swear he remembered seeing a smug look of satisfaction just before the pain exploded into Harry. He\'d let himself fall off the edge he thought he\'d never find, and now he was hanging on painfully by his fingernails, trying desperately to climb back up and not get sucked in to his dillusions of the other possibly caring for him.


Draco sighed, doing what he could and re-filling the bath, leaving a fleeting kiss against Harry\'s forehead, \"I\'ll be back in a little while Harry.\" He strode past Ron, snapping up the binding spell on the redhead as he passed, half-dragging him from the room.


Harry only recoiled slightly from this, but as soon as Draco was out of his sight, he shivered from it. His mind was spinning, and he wanted to let go of that ledge---but he knew he didn\'t have anything to trust to catch him at the bottom. He wanted to give in, to forget everything, but the pain in his nails from grasping the ledge reminded him how nothing was trustworthy, that he\'d be told there\'d be arms to catch him, but then they\'d walk away and let him slam to the rocks at the bottom. Harry sunk in the tub, curling tightly to himself, leaving only his chin and above out of the water.

Ron cussed as he was dragged, fighting the ferret because he wanted to stay to make sure Harry would be alright. He tried a Hermoine technique and clawed at Ferret, trying to wriggle free. And since when did Ferret call Harry Harry?


Draco snarled, giving Ron another vicious backhand, \"Touch me again and I\'ll break your fingers. That\'s twice tonight toy.\" He shook his head, \"Don\'t concern yourself with him. He\'ll be fine.\"


Ron nearly tumbled to the ground witht he force of the blow, holding his face tightly. \"Sure...\'cause you sure proved to take care of him tonight...\" he snarled.


Draco\'s voice had gone dangerously quiet again, \"It was his arse or my life, toy. He\'ll recover.\"


Ron snarled at the ground, muttering airily to himself, \"...would have been better off it it had been your life...\"


Draco chose to ignore that comment, at least until it came to giving Ron a shove at the top of the stairs to his basement. Not hard enough to send him tumbling of course, but enough to prove his point.


Ron gave a yelp of surprise as he stumbled down a few steps, heart stopping as he thought he was going to fall until he managed to catch him footing again. He glared up at the doorway and the shadow with no face but an unforgettable smirk. \"Ferret...\" He had no point to saying it, just felt he needed to say something in retaliation.


Draco just shut the door and ordered the houselves not to feed the redhead for a couple days, take some of the fight out of him. He returned to the washroom then, sighing when he saw Harry, shaking his head and picking up the cloth again, hoping that the touch would be alright as long as it wasn\'t skin against skin.


Harry felt more as if he was in a shock stage now, the blood loss finally taking it\'s real toll on him, the shock and emotional stress of the events just wanting to shut his brain down for now. He laid there, like a doll and simply stared at the water. However, it was obvious that Harry had taken the time alone to try to scrub his body free of the dirt that coated it, the dirt from Riddle\'s touches.


Draco sighed softly at the fact that Harry had rubbed himself raw, shaking his head and draining the bath again, going to get a fluffy towel, \"C\'mon out Harry.\"


Harry didn\'t hear this for a moment, but then jumped slightly as he snapped out of his trance. He looked at the blonde warily, slowly untucking his legs from beneath him, wincing slightly and wishing he hadn\'t cut...that...up. His arms slowly retreated from their curled position on his chest and raised himself tenderly from the tub, trying not to move very much, unsure of how much pain he was still in. He avoided Draco\'s eyes, afraid he was going to snap and just fall on him, begging to be loved. He was still a Death Eater as far as Harry was concerned--still loyal to Riddle, as he\'d just proved.


Draco draped the towel around the other man, tucking it tight, the worst of the cuts had been healed, and that was all that mattered, the others would follow given time. He was almost meticulously careful not to let any of his own skin come into contact with any of Harry\'s, not wanting to spook the other man further.


Harry hugged himself into the towel tightly, feeling a bit more relief in finally being covered, he didn\'t feel as vulnerable and suseptible to further attacks. He\'d have to get the towel from him now to try anything. Shivering, Harry staggered to the fire, as if drawn by it, the flickering flames reflecting in his eyes.


Draco had sent one of the houselves off for something for Harry to wear, and the poor thing returned a few moments later carrying the outfit Draco had laid out for the next day, before all this had happened. He cuffed it and sent it back, careful not to let Harry see.


Harry pulled the towel tightly around himself, looking at the elf as it skittered from the room again, wondering why it came and left so suddenly. He thouht he saw a clip of fabric dangling from it\'s arms, but thought nothing. He returned to staring at the flames, as if hypnotised. He was curled on his side, laying as it hurt too much to sit, and the cold tiles helped calm his pounding head from the pain, or was it the memory of the pain, coursing through him.


The houself returned shortly thereafter with something closer to what Harry had worn the first day, the silk oriental-styled jacket and almost pyjamma pants to go underneath, something that would cover him from ankles to neck.

Draco had settled nearby, resisting the urge to pet his fingers through the other\'s hair, letting him settle on his own.


Harry let the clothes sit near him for the longest time, before he seemed as if he had magically changed into them, almost having waited for a time which the blonde wasn\'t looking and had changed in a flash, though biting down whimpers of pain that coursed through a few specific areas. He settled back down on his side, having attempted to sit down normally, but quickly turned to lay down instead, still staring at the flames.


Draco winced slightly at that, unfortunately he knew that feeling. He swallowed hard, shaking his head and reaching out a hesitant hand to clasp Harry\'s shoulder, \"I can heal the worst of it, if you\'ll let me.\"


Harry jumped, not expecting the touch and curled closer to himself, relaxing slightly as he realized it was Draco. But then he remembered Malfoy had done nothing to help him, obviously not caring. His eyes closed slowly, when he realized those thoughts didn\'t seem to bother him, that he suddenly felt as if he\'d betrayed Draco. \"I\'m...s-sorry...\" he stuttered.


Draco shook his head, swallowing around a sudden lump in his throat, trying to clear it before he spoke again, still petting Harry\'s arm gingerly, \"Don\'t be, none of it was your fault.\"


\"...Yes...it...yes it was...\" His voice cracked a few times as he choked the whispers out, fighting--and failing--to keep from moving away from Draco\'s touches. They felt good, yes, like they had, but Harry didn\'t deserve that touch. He was nothing, nobody and he saw just how much that was true now. His sole purpose was to fight Voldemort, and he\'d lost. Horridly. He didn\'t even feel magical anymore--he felt and thought more each day that during the battle Voldemort had found a way to drain his abilities to himself. They were after all linked, and when Harry had been ontop of his game, Voldemort had been weak, but now that Harry had failed, he was the weak one. He was merely a failed hero, a pet, a thing to take advantage of.


Draco shook his head, but knew it was useless to try reasoning with Harry at a time like this, so he finally lifted his hand away, asking quietly, \"Do you want me to heal what I can?\"


He wanted to spit that he didn\'t need the git\'s help, that he was fine...but he knew there was no way he could even convince a complete stranger of such a thing at that moment. Harry nodded slowly, closing his eyes to watch the flames dancing in front of his eyes just the same. \"...P...p-please...\" There was a faint tone of apology still in his voice, and the brunette knew he was appologizing for his leading actions to earlier. He hadn\'t been as committed to the act as he thought he had been. If Draco had been a heartless git like he had been first year, then the split-second image of him standing in the doorway in shock wouldn\'t have put him so off his actions.

He wouldn\'t have hesitated, he wouldn\'t had more force, more anger, but he had seen the image differently in his head then. His mind flashed to him that the doorway held death and life. Draco being golden almost like an angel, and Riddle cast over with darkness. He instantly became afraid of death, but his body was programmed to finish what he\'d started, only now with less heart in it, with more eyes fixed on Draco. It wasn\'t until that moment that Harry realized that he\'d been staring at Draco as he\'d committed the final stabs...

Harry wondered if this was what Sirius felt like in Azkaban, nothing more than a waste of flesh, images and moments flashing over and over in your mind, an empty shell that had a memory of what it was like \'previously\' but couldn\'t seem to get a firm grasp on it.


Draco just nodded once, retreiving his wand and settling at Harry\'s side again, he took a deep breath, letting his eyes slide closed so he could concentrate. He had been trained as a mediwizard during the war because he had the energy for it due to his heritage, but it was draining, and he was already treading the line as it was. He took another deep breath, settling himself once more as he began to focus, working from the inside out.


Harry felt some comfort from the other\'s presence that he even forced himself to try to uncurl his body from the fetal position he\'d huddled in. He hissed in pain as tears stung his eyes, and he stopped moving. He wasn\'t sure what he\'d done, but whatever it was, his body had suddenly felt as if it was being intruded again, pain stinging along his spine and blacking his vision. He quickly rested his head against the floor, letting only one tear fall to the ground.


Draco\'s jaw was tight, it always was when he did this, \"Won\'t be long.\" He managed to grate out, and he certainly hoped it wouldn\'t, he could feel Harry\'s pain now and it was something he never wanted to feel again, nor something he wanted his pet to feel at all.


Harry nodded slowly, letting himself fall into his emotions as he let out a low whimper mixed with pain, sadness, self-hatred and regret. He still wanted to seem strong, didn\'t want to be a baby, so when he felt a shiver coming on, he shoo\'ed it off, ignoring it as he was laying right by the fire, eyes clenched closed tightly to prevent more tears from falling.


Draco finally finished, swallowing hard as he watched even the worst of the cuts slowly closing again. It wouldn\'t heal good as new of course, there would still be pale lines of scar tissue, but he\'d done the best he could.


Harry relaxed more, feeling the pain and aches slowly fading, only the severe pain lingering up his bottom. Sitting up slowly, he continued to face the fire, whisping out a greatful thanks, even as he still sat more on his previously bruised hips than normally. He wanted to say or do something more in appology, but he wasn\'t sure if he could. He sat sideways for a few minutes, trying to regain steady rhythmic breathing even through sharp boughts of pain that ravaged his bottom and spine occasionally.


Draco just nodded, eyes half closed, looking a bit paler and a bit more drawn than usual, settling back against the chair he was seated in front of, basking in the warmth of the fire.


Harry rocked himself gently, barely at all, before he slowly turned to look at the other\'s state. He didn\'t like seeing Draco so pale, it made him seem more sickly than he usually did as he was abnormally pale as per usual. Harry remembered seeing numerous people draining after helping another, mostly at the Infirmary on severe cases of something, or the few times he stopped by St. Mungos.

His green globes flicked to Draco\'s briefly and Harry confirmed that the blonde prince wouldn\'t have helped him if he had meant any harm in the first place. Tenderly crawling to the other, he stopped just in front of Draco hesitantly before laying down and putting his head on the other\'s lap. Harry\'s mind had really been screaming at him to be a completely child while he was at it and crawl into his lap, but he didn\'t want to seem weak, as shredded and empty as he felt on the inside--mostly.


Draco\'s eyes flickered open just slightly at the familiar weight in his lap. He managed a wan, thin-lipped smile, one hand settling lightly in the other\'s hair, hesitating a moment before petting gently


Cringing away slightly, Harry took a deep breath and stayed put, if not partly shifting closer to the touch. His jaw quivered lightly for no reason other than to take more air into his lungs. He let an almost calming fact come over him that he still enjoyed the other\'s touch, and he felt like something for a moment. More than the shell that Riddle had left him as.


Draco was still smiling slightly, fingers moving lightly through the other\'s hair, it wasn\'t very long at all before his hand stilled, resting against Harry\'s head once more, his own head dipped to his chest, asleep.


Once Draco had fallen asleep, Harry let his eyes stray from the flames, stray to memorizing the back of his own eyelids. He tuned his ears in to his surroundings, listening to the wood crackling, the house elves skittering about on other floors before those sounds died. Then to the slowly growing pitter patter of the rain on the windows and roof. As his brain got heavier, and he curled a bit tighter to the stronger presence of the blonde, his ears tuned to Draco\'s steady breathing, allowing the rhythm to put him to sleep.


Draco slept on, simply too exhausted not to. Just watching had taken more out of him than he was willing to admit, and patching Harry up again after was even more draining. He was even snoring softly as the sun broke through the window the following morning.


Harry managed to get an hour or two at most of sleep, the rest of the time he simply listened to Draco\'s steady breathing. He felt comfortable, safe. In fact, sometime during the night he\'d managed to curl closer to him on his side still, so that his head was nearly resting on Draco\'s chest, eyes closed as he tried to keep everything else from his mind.


Draco had finally canted back against the chair, head rolling back, hand still settled in Harry\'s hair. He wasn\'t quite so pale that morning, though he was still just as peaky.


Harry nudged his head upwards in a yawn against the other\'s hand to give a small thanks, approval and knowledge that he was awake as well.


Draco\'s eyes fluttered open a moment later with a sigh, blinking slowly and taking in the situation, \"Mn, morning. Feeling better?\"


Harry didn\'t speak for a moment. \" \'Morning.\" He hesitated again. \"Yes, I think...\" He didn\'t want to worry the other after everything he\'d helped with prior. Yes, he was still extremely sore, and since he hadn\'t moved yet, he wasn\'t sure how much pain still stayed.


Draco nodded slowly, managing another not quite there smile, \"If you need more, just let me know.\"


Shocked to hear this, Harry shifted to look up at the blonde through his own messy strands. He was still offering to help even after how drained he was? Harry felt his ears tingle as he shifted his gaze again. \"I...I will, thanks...\"


Draco nodded, managing to unfold to his feet after a moment, wincing just slightly, stiff from staying in one position for so long, \"We should go down to breakfast.\"


Harry nodded slowly, biting his lip as he worked himself to his feet stiffly. He kept his eyes on the dying fire as he attempted to help Draco up.


He managed another thin smile, leaning heavily against the chair a moment before he was able to right himself, nodding once and offering Harry his arm.


Harry reached a hand out shakily, pausing above the other\'s skin before he lowered his fingers slowly. They brushed against his skin before darting up again, eyes low in embarassment and appology before he managed to lower his fingers to the other, then finally his full hand.


Draco nodded once, managing to stay steady as they walked to the dining room, settling in his usual chair and nodding for Harry to take the other. Breakfast was already laid out for them, steaming away.


Harry looked at his chair nervously, wincing at the thought of sitting already, it had been painful to stand, let alone walk and sit... He tried to calm his nerves as he pulled the chair back with a shakey hand and tried to sit sideways, trying to sit painlessly.


Draco\'s brow furrowed slightly at that, then he smiled, just slightly once more, ordering one of the houselves to bring a pillow.


Harry\'s ears were red tinged as he kept his eyes on the ground. He felt horrible, and he hated not being able to stand and sit as a normal Wizard should be able to do. Harry thanked the house elf, with a forced but geniune smile through the occasionaly stabs of needles. He managed to find a position to settly in, folding the pillow beneath him, back against the hard back and his thighs on the folded pillow. Nothing directly beneath his bottom. No pressure. The brunette smiled to himself triumphantly.


Draco smiled just slightly at that, nodding once and serving himself, food would do him good. Blood would do him better of course, but he wasn\'t about to ask for that.


Harry hadn\'t realized this, the thought that Draco was a vampire was...mind boggling. He didn\'t know what to think or whether to believe it, but he had to, didn\'t he? Since he couldn\'t deny that Draco had bit him...and he couldn\'t forget that washing feeling of bliss. Harry took some of his own food, uttering an apology to the blonde for not waiting, but he couldn\'t care right then. His eyes glanced to Draco once in a while to see if he\'s alright.


Draco\'s brow furrowed just slightly at the apology, shaking his head and setting in to eat himself, nibbling at everything, still too drained to manage much more than that.


Harry wasn\'t very hungry, as he was trying to avoid anything that looked...like anything that reminded him of the previous night. He\'d avoided the juice as it reminded him of too many liquids. Water, blood...\'lust\'. He poked at the jello substance, really only eating it for his meal.


Which was fine with Draco, he wasn\'t going to argue considering that he was only eating the breakfast meats himself.


Harry found himself staring at nothing as he ate in silence, trying to run though what he felt for Draco now. He\'d come to the conclusion that him being a Slytherin and a \'follower\', Draco had probably been cowardice in confronting Voldemort. Honestly, Harry couldn\'t think of a time where Draco or a Slytherin in general took on a challenge they didn\'t think they could win. And Harry had proved no one could win against Voldemort... His mind then trailed to how they\'d fallen asleep, to how Draco had helped him bathe after, to his steady beating of his heart and breathing through the night that calmed him, to Draco healing him earlier, to every other random event his mind could think of.


Draco had finished his breakfast, starting to nod off in his chair again, leaning against the winged back of it, eyes mostly closed, just watching Harry carefully for any undue winces or anything.


Harry finished his jello, then noticed Draco\'s wariness. He\'d come to breakfast without a fuss because he knew the other needed strength, but he didn\'t seem to be any better. He felt a tug of worry pulling on his throat. \"Mal...Draco?\" He tried not to look too concerned. \"...Are...are you feeling alright?\" There were undertones of \'how can I repay the help you gave me last night\' in his voice, somehow.


He blinked up at the other\'s voice, \"Hm?\" He shook his head then, managing a smile, \"I\'ll be fine. Just need to rest, haven\'t done healing like that in... a very long time.\"

Of course he wasn\'t going to say he needed to feed, he didn\'t want to scare the other more.


Guilt tugged at him. \"If...If I\'d known that it would...wear you out--\" Harry\'s voice was quiet as he stared at his plate. His mind tossed through his dreadful Potions classes, wondering if they\'d ever learnt a potion that would help Draco at all. Failing, he suggested quietly that he get some real reast in his bed.


He shook his head, ruffling a hand through his hair, smiling just slightly, \"Don\'t fret over it Harry. You needed it.\"


\"I\'ve dealt with worse,\" he lied. Although re-growing his bones had been painful, he\'d been drugged most the time through the nights so he couldn\'t feel it and so he could sleep.


Draco almost smield at that again, shaking his head, \"Somehow I doubt that Harry, even with the war under your belt.\" He shook his head, sighing and raking a hand through his hair again.


Harry smiled weakly, feeling a bit better that he was at least talking more than usual. It didn\'t make him seem as creepy and quiet and---plotting. Harry still tried to think of something that he might be able to repay the blonde with. He couldn\'t think of anything. Making a mental note to find Cookie and ask her if she knew of something, Harry stared back at his plate, poking at dots of jello speckled over the plate.


Another almost smile, shaking his head, \"Have you had enough then Harry? Nothing else looks edible?\"


\"Not really.\" A yawn overcame his mouth, which he tried to hide. It was morning after all. Shifting on the folded pillow, he found it becoming uncomfortable, excused himself and stood slowly, biting his lip. He crept his way back to the living room at his desired pace instead of Draco\'s previously set one. Just as he thought he\'d collapse, he found the couch and he flopped onto the end of it face first, eyes closing in relief.


Draco smiled slightly, following a few moments later and settling on the other end of the couch, he ruffled Harry\'s hair gently, the touch barely there, \"Sleep if you think you need it.\"


Harry shook his head. He didn\'t want to sleep, he just wanted to disappear. He didn\'t want to burden the blonde prince, he didn\'t want to bother him, to annoy him, yet he did. He wanted to yell at him, to scream at him for not caring about his suicide attempt, for not caring to warn Harry prior or care prior about concequences to trying. He wanted to hex him for not stopping Riddle, kill him for making Ron watch, strangle him for not preparing him.

He wanted to rip out the blonde strands that hung in front of those silver hypnotic depths, he wanted to claw his nails down Draco\'s back to make him writher, to make him feel a fraction of what Harry felt. He wanted to be close to him, yet miles away. He wanted to AK his conscience for reminding him and telling him that had he not been so set on being a hero even in his falls, that he actually had been feeling ready for the other. It made him quiver at the thought. Harry didn\'t want a Malfoy. Never. He didn\'t want his comfort then, or forever to feel wanted. Didn\'t hate himself for reminding how ready he actually had felt even as he closed the bathroom door--until the hate of himself and Riddle took over.

Harry brushed the back of his hand over his cheeks to wipe any possible traces of tears he wasn\'t sure were there.


Draco\'s brow furrowed slightly as he watched the remembered anguish and the new turmoil cross Harry\'s features, not really sure what else he could do, but he drew his hand away all the same, not wanting to make it worse.


Harry\'s hand kept moving after the swipe and grasped Draco\'s hand before it got too far, clinging to it tightly as if to unconsciously show his desperation for the blonde that he refused to believe, but loosely enough that it was as if he was clinging to treads, that the slightest movement could tear them apart. Almost as if it could be made out to be a mistake if he just let his hand drop then, or if Draco pulled away.

Why...why did Draco seem to care? He didn\'t, he couldn\'t. He obviously didn\'t if he didn\'t stop Riddle--or was he just protecting himself there? Surely Riddle wouldn\'t kill his best man for protecting something that was his own? No, not protecting...wanting to claim as his own prize even more.

Harry felt dizzy from the random jumping around his mind was making, but his grip held the same looseness as the initial touch all the same.


Draco\'s brow furrowed again, slightly, not sure why Harry\'s grip seemed so frail, but not about to break it, just in case. He watched closely, chewing the inside of his lip again.

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Responses to Reviews on this chapter

LPhoenix
fab update... absoluetly fab... do it again soon.. :)

Okies. ^_^


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sethian
lunasis8@hotmail.com
Oh this was a sad chapter along with the 23rd...hope things will get better...

Eventually they will---sometime. :) Rape is never easy to get over though. *nodnod* *sigh*


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thrnbrooke
That was intense! I can\'t wait for chapter 25! You did make it clear that Hermione was dead but I was hoping. I thought Ron was dead too and he isn\'t. He\'s kept in a basement? I bet he\'s confused with Draco\'s behavior too! What happens next?

I can\'t tell you what\'s next! Nice try! :-P You have to wait and read like veryone else.

And yes, Ron\'s kept in a basement area that\'s small, no window and steep stairs with a broken railing I believe. No furnishings. Barely food except when Draco allows the elves to feed him.

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