A Reason To Be

Draco spent the next few weeks thinking about what Firenze had said. He had said that if Hermione was ever going to wake up, she needed help to do it. He didn’t know what that meant; he could not think for the life of him how someone could help her in that state. The students came back from their homes and classes resumed. He made himself scarce as always in his classes. He worked alone now in his Potions class, of course he managed without too much difficulty.

It was after his own Potions class that Jonathon, the first year student he helped from time to time, asked him to come to the library to tutor him. Draco agreed grumpily, all he really wanted was to go up to his room and nap until his next class. They went to the library and seated themselves at an abandoned table near the restricted section. They sat there for about forty minutes. Draco corrected mistakes the young student made, told him which chapters to read and what to concentrate on. As Jonathon was reading one such chapter, Draco got up out of his seat and wandered around the table. He leaned against a book shelf and looked around. He was just close enough to look inside the restricted section without actually going in it. His eyes squinted to see some of the larger books’ titles. There was one about goblins and another that he thought was the complete and official rules of Quidditch. Draco leaned closer to read the third one. It was a big, black book with white lettering. After a moment he realized that the letters spelled out ‘Occulumency: Good or Bad?’ This intrigued Draco, he knew what Occulumency was but it was not taught or even spoken of at Hogwarts.

“I’m all done.” Jonathon said in a mousy voice. Even though Draco had agreed to help him, he was still very much intimidated by the older student. Draco looked back and nodded.

“Alright, you can go now.” Draco said, waving his hand towards the door. He watched Jonathon gather up his things and leave. It was then that Draco looked around and when he was sure no one would notice, he slipped into the restricted section of the library. He walked over to the black book about Occulumency and pulled it off the shelf. As far as books went, it was on the heavier side. He opened it and flipped through the pages. Then, giving a quick glance around, put the book inside his robes and practically ran out of the library. He had expected Madam Pince to swoop down upon him but apparently his luck was holding.

He really didn’t know why he had swiped the book from the library; when he had saw it he could just hear something inside him tell him to take it and go. He went back up to his room and threw the book on his bed. He had fifteen minutes until his Transfiguration class with McGonagall. After giving it a moment’s thought he shrugged off his school robes and lay down on the bed.

‘Skipping one class won’t earn me a sentence in Azkaban.’ Draco thought to himself as he kicked off his shoes and untied his tie. He got settled against his pillows and got comfortable. Then he opened up to the table contents and began what would be hours of reading.



Harry saw Draco practically run into the Great Hall and sit down at the Slytherin table. He piled the nearest available food on his plate and began to shovel it in his mouth. Harry diverted his attention back to his own plate of food and continued eating. When Ron had come back he did not tell him about Draco and Hermione. He wasn’t sure just how he could phrase it and then Harry didn’t even ant to imagine the reaction he would get from Ron. Ron hated Draco just about as much as Harry did. He would fly off the handle if he found out about what Draco had done or even that Malfoy was spending so much time in the hospital wing with Hermione.

Draco ate as quickly as he could. He would have skipped dinner all together if he had not been so hungry. He had been reading all afternoon and he had stumbled upon something that he needed to find out more about. When he had entered the Great Hall he had glanced up at the staff table and saw that Snape was not there. So after he finished eating, Draco got up and went off to search for him. First he tried the Potions classroom in the dungeons but it was empty. Next Draco headed to the other side of the dungeons to where he knew were Snape’s personal rooms.

“Severus! You in there? Open up!” Draco said in a loud, stern voice. He heard movement inside and footsteps moving closer to the door. It opened and Draco was met with the extremely disapproving looking of Severus Snape.

“What is the meaning of pounding on my door like it was a tavern, Mr. Malfoy?” Snape asked coldly. Draco said nothing but brushed past the Potions master and into his study.

“May I help you?!?!” Snape\'s questioned angrily, surprised at Draco’s audacity. Draco walked in and began looking at the many shelves of books that lined the walls.

“I don’t know. I’m hoping you can.” Draco muttered as he poured over the many titles of books in front of him.

“What is the matter with you? What do you want?” Snape asked bewildered. Draco was moving quickly throughout the room, picking random books off the shelves and then replacing them. Snape huffed and crossed the room. He grasped the young man by the shoulders and turned him around to face him.

“What are you looking for?” Severus asked exasperated. Draco put the books he had down and looked Snape in the eye and sighed.

“Tell me about the Mind’s Door potion.” Draco said, never breaking his gaze with Severus. A bewildered expression crossed the man’s face. He let go of Malfoy’s shoulder and stepped back.

“Where did you find out about that?” Severus asked cautiously. Draco shook his head and took a step forward, closing the gap between them, urging the professor to talk.

“It doesn’t matter where I found out about it, just tell me about it.” Draco said, trying to remain patient. He knew if he got impatient and snapped at Severus he would never get anywhere. Severus was still somewhat in awe at what the young man had said. The potion he inquired about was little known and for good reason. It was extremely unpredictable and dangerous. Snape sat down in a nearby chair and thought a moment.

‘What could he possibly want with the….oh….Granger.’ Snape thought. He had spoken with Dumbledore and the old man had told him about Draco and how the young man was developing feelings for Hermione but Severus remained skeptical. Now Dumbledore’s theory had been confirmed. The Mind’s Door potion was a draft that induced a mystical sleep-like state. People in this state could then enter the minds of others. Not just see into their thoughts or through their eyes, the person was actually inside their mind, was able to change things. Change things for better or worse. Many times this potion had been used for evil and it had cause irreversible damage. It was also deadly to both the one who drank it and the subject. There were many instances that either one or both had died during the process.

“No, Draco. That potion cannot help you.” Severus said finally. From the look on Draco’s face, it was easily assumed that that was not the reaction he was looking for.

“Why not? Why can’t it work?” Draco pressured the teacher. Severus sighed heavily. He did not want to talk about this at all. He wanted no part of it. They went back and forth for a little while. Severus kept stating that it could not be done, that there was no sure way to know it would even work at all. Draco kept at him though, he still hadn’t gotten to answer he wanted. He wasn’t going to give up on this one.

“It is far too dangerous; it is too delicate a process. People die frequently when using it. No one will risk it.” Snape tried to explain to him. The moment the words left Snape’s lips, Draco replied.

“I will, I will risk it.” Draco said. Severus stopped arguing for a moment and just looked at the boy in awe and confusion.

“Why?” Snape\'s ventured to ask. Draco didn’t say anything right away. He took a deep breath and collapsed into the chair next to Snape’s. He ran his hand through his hair and rubbed his forehead.

“We can’t leave her like that, Severus. She is lost in there and if we don’t help her she will never get out. This, all of this, is my fault. I refuse to sit and let it keep eating away at what little conscience I had to begin with.” Draco said quietly. Severus said nothing in reply. He really didn’t know what to say.

“I am going to do this, I know I can.” Draco added softly. He was looking at his feet, his head in his hands.

“What makes you think you can do it when so many others have failed?” Severus questioned. He had no reason to believe that Draco could do what so many other, far more powerful wizards could not. He looked over at the young man and saw Draco’s head rise, he chuckled and gave a sad smile.

“Come on Severus. She is lost in the dark. All my life has ever been was dark. If anyone can find her, it’s me.”