Fire & Ice: War Games

‘Courage is not simply one of the virtues but the form of every virtue at the testing point.’

Clive Staples (C.S.) Lewis

Crumpled balls of paper blanketed the library floor, surrounding him. He sneered as his fingers rotated the foot long package. The familiar handwriting stared back up at him, mocking him with the evidence of the giver. His face twisted as anger melted away from his features and disgust spread rampantly in its place as he tossed the present into the fireplace. He smirked as the first lick of the flames engulfed the unwanted gift. Rich, black smoke slowly filled the room as he absently watched.

Ignoring the burning contents in the hearth, Severus lazily reached for the last gift resting next to the tree trunk. He turned the box over and over in his hands slowly before cautiously tearing the wrapping. Severus’ eyes lingered briefly on the unfamiliar handwriting scrawled across the lid before opening the box. Unfolding the crinkling tissue paper, Severus paused as his eyes widened slightly at the sight that greeted him. His forefinger lazily traced the exposed surface of the box’s contents, the metal was cool to his touch.

Severus’ body jerked sharply as the sound of foot falls echoed through the deserted hall outside the library. Despite years of resolve, his lower lip began to tremble as his suddenly labored breathing began to hitch. The frantic beating of his heart thundered soundlessly in his ears. Severus held his breath as the sound of the foot steps disappeared on the other side of the library door. Crawling across the floor, Severus pushed himself against the bookcase and squeezed his eyes shut. A lone tear slipped down his cheek as fear swamped over him.

Severus sighed slowly as the sound of hurried steps reached his ears. Whatever had abruptly intervened on his behalf, Severus was grateful. Life had changed since his parents’ deaths and life outside of Hogwarts’ walls was still an unpleasant experience at best. For him at least, the players had only changed and the game went on. The bitter taste of his fear lingered on his tongue, disgusted anger boiled in his mind and a calculated hate simmered in his heart as thoughts of self-loathing fluttered in the fathomless recesses of his mind. He swore to himself that no matter the cost, he would not make his father’s mistake. A cold chill raced down Severus’ spine as he hissed suddenly, clutching the burning portion of his forearm as he fled the library.

He wiped the trail of residue salvia and partially digested chunks of food on the back of his sleeve. Leaning against the large tree, Severus closed his eyes and sighed as the stampeding of his heart slowed. His chest ached with the labored breathing, his lungs felt as though they were on fire with each breath. Severus grimaced slightly as he wiped the tears from his face. He groaned as the burning in his forearm intensified sharply. Exhaling, Severus steadied himself and grudgingly resigned himself into the hands of fate as he slowly lumbered to his feet. Stumbling through the knee high grass, Severus bit his lower lip to keep from crying out as the burning spread through the length of his arm and converged into a twisted knot in his chest.



Severus slipped the smooth mask over his face as he joined the growing cluster of bodies converging in the small clearing. He jumped slightly as a hand fell on his bony shoulder, Severus drew his wand and turned to face his would-be assailant. Severus’ eyes narrowed, glaring at the masked face as disgust swelled and rumbled in his heart. He felt every fear and every ounce of hatred creep to the surface as he fought to emulate the emotionless of the metal face he wore, restraining the urge to strike the smirking face hidden beneath the twin face.

\"Temper, temper. If you’re not careful, you’ll wind up like your father.\"

Severus sneered from behihe she safety of the silver face, \"I’m nothing like my father!\"

\"You overestimate your importance to the Master at this crucial time, Sevie. Like your father, you’ve yet to learn your place and it would be a tragedy for history to repeat itself.\"

Before Severus could respond, the gathering figures splintered in half down their center and fell to their knees as an auburn haired wizard appeared in their mists. \"I am pleased to see our numbers continuously multiplying, especially that those which who have chosen to answer my summons.\" The wizard strolled through the path cleared between the large sea of bodies. \"Christmas comes only once a year and it would be a grave injustice to allow such a festive time to pass without celebrating.\" Severus groaned inwardly and rolled his eyes as the masked figures around him hooted, voicing their enthusiasm as the Dark Lord smiled.

\"We are all fortunate indeed that I feel that we should share with our muggle neighbors the fruits of our labors.\" A thunderous silence fell over the group as they cautiously glanced at one another, sure that the auburn haired wizard needed commitment to St. Mungo’s.

\"Today we give the Muggle-loving fools at the Ministry a Christmas present that they’ll be able to enjoy for years to come.\" The wizards around him shouted their approval and renewed confidence in their leader as they began the short trip down the rolling hillside. Severus sighed and braced himself for the ‘entertainment’ that the monstrosity who preached the dawning of a new age, an age where wizards took their rightful place and ruled ruthlessly over their so-called weaker counterparts.

The Slytherin boy thought of little else but surviving the night, wishing that Clotho had chosen a different path for him as she spun the cosmic tapestry. Watching the wizards celebrate amongst themselves, Severus wished he were a braver man and not the coward he felt at these gatherings. He wished that the overwhelming feeling of helplessness would abandon him, freeing him from their strangling bonds. Perhaps if the desire to live wasn’t strong inside of him, Severus imagined he would be a braver man and sacrifice his life in an attempt to stop the madness.

It felt as though he were carrying the weight of the world on his narrow shoulders, no matter how much he told himself other wise. Severus was tired of fighting the sleep, afraid of seeing the dozens of faces waiting for him behind closed eyelids. Days spent gathering elusive ingredients, brewing the complex potions found in the obscure texts of the family’s secret library had ended in disastrous failure. Not because of his skills or in the steps themselves of preparing and brewing the potions, but rather because they mocked him. Sitting, bottled and waiting for his invitation on the work bench in the dungeons or on the table in his room. Severus discovered his cowardice running deeper then he had believed when he was unable to bring himself to drink the liquids that would open the door, allowing him to escape from the world of the living.

As intoxicating as those around him found life, he had known only the agonizing side. Everywhere he looked, Severus saw nothing more then suffering and no cure. Professor McGonagall had at one time seemed trustworthy, almost an affectionate mother to him, one he was surely denied. Severus found himself running away at the slightest indication of his carefully constructed prison falling. With her faults, the Gryffindor witch almost seemed to genuinely care for him and his well-being. But memories of her and the other professors’ attitudes regarding the members of his house and how the Marauders had gotten away with years of pranks and general bullying had resurfaced.

The prejudice and indifference by both the Headmaster and McGonagall had been the straw that broken his proverbial camel’s back. For his part, Severus understood the need for rivalry with another house. But it was unspokenly understood that the inter-house rivalry existed between the students and did not, should not extend to the faculty members. Upon Dumbledore’s insistence, he had kept Lupin’s secret. But the look in their eyes had spoken volumes and Severus understood clearly what they had meant, the life of a Slytherin was worth less then Muggle currency at Gringott’s.

Severus had lied to the Gryffindors as to why he had ventured into the Shrieking Shack that night. He was no fool, the Slytherin boy had already known the truth behind Lupin’s ‘illnesses’; How could he have not? It didn’t take a wizard after all to add the figures correctly and come out with the truth, personal experience didn’t hurt either. Within Hogwarts’ walls, Severus had expected to find a more tolerable existence then in the world outside it’s protective embrace. The wizarding school was suppose to have been a shelter from the darkness and yet he found shadows everywhere he turned.

The castle atmosphere was filled with every shade of grey imaginable, there was no real way of securely telling who was friend from foe. But outside the walls, Severus had begun to hone his instinctive survival. He had learned to trust only those that one most and with only as much information beixchaxchanged as was necessary for his continued survival in a world of lies, nothing more. This had meant reassessing everyone he knew with each meeting, trying always to win the game of having the upper hand against the other players at his table.

In the Slytherin’s eyes, the dark wizard and those that followed him had first appeared as nothing more than the equivalent of Muggle thugs. As he spent more time in their company, Severus realized that these wizards weren’t the thugs he’d once believed them to be, but rather a gang of spoiled and pampered children playing terrorists. Watching the swarm of bodies stumbling down the bumpy hillside, Severus snorted in disgust.

The single most intriguing question he had regarding the members of this dark occult resurfaced in his mind; If they truly believed in the actions they took for this so-called righteous cause, why did they feel the need to conceal their identifies from the people they were supposed to be superior of? It bothered him that, for a group of able bodied wizards, that they were obsessed with being unrecognized when they professed devotion to a revolutionary cause.

Frowning, Severus jerked forward to follow the others when a hand fell on his shoulder. Growling, he turned and lunged at the hand’s owner. Severus grimaced slightly as the ground collided with them as they tumbled to the grass below. He grunted as his knee jabbed the shocked form beneath him in the stomach. Kneeling on the figure’s chest, Severus grabbed a fist full of auburn hair and raised a balled fist above his head. The warm body beneath him groaned and for a moment, Severus’ vison cleared.

He swallowed nervously , wishing his body would stop trembling as he stared into bewildered cinnamon eyes staring back at him. Severus licked his lips as indecision bounced around inside his head as he realized just who was wheezing beneath the weight of his body. Here was an opportune moment to do what he and countless others had dreamt of being handed, but Severus found himself torn in two opposite directions. He found that being in the position to end the life of a mass murderer, he was unable to follow through and live the fantasy.

\"Do you mind getting off my chest or are you planning to continue this barbaric, Muggle form of assault?\" A bored voice drummed into Severus’ ears.

The Slytherin boy flinched at the calm tone rattling inside his head. He swallowed nervously, sliding off the shaking form. Severus mumbled an apology as he rested on the back of his legs, head bowed. The unmistakable sound of laughter filled the chilly afternoon air. Hating his weakness he said, \"I thought you were someone else.\"

The wizard’s laughter thundered in Severus’ reddening ears. \"You don’t like him very much, do you?\"

\"What’s it your concern?\" Severus bit his tongue and winced at the sharp stabbing pain shooting in his mouth. It appeared to him that his father’s lessons were fading and his tongue was ignoring the basic commands of his brain, especially the ones that screamed for his survival. The Slytherin boy knew sooner or later someone was bound to grow curious and catch the slip. Severus winced inwardly as his imagination conjured the worst scenarios and pushed them forward, using his nightmares and memories to further fuel the graphic scenes.

\"My, my. Perhaps he was right and you were sorted into the wrong house after all. That display of bravado belongs to Gryffindor and that sudden example of stupidity belongs to Huffelpuff. Either way, it was quite foolish to expose such an exploitable weakness and in such a manner.\" The auburn haired wizard’s face relaxed as he gazed thoughtfully at the boy, \"take off your mask.\"

Startled, Severus jerked his head up. \"I don’t understand.\"

Sighing, the auburn haired wizard said, \"yes you do. Now, I’d strongly advise you not to make me repeat myself. Take off your mask.\"

Whether the wizwas was referring to his father or to the command, Severus was unwilling to discover. He frantically tore off the cold mask from his head and was alarmed to see the older wizard smile. Severus held his breath, the incessant drumming of his heart pounded in his ears as he braced himself for the worst.

\"You’re not like your family, Severus. You can’t stomach the thought of taking someone’s life. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure that like everyone else you’ve fantasized about the killing. But the reality is that you don’t have the necessary strength it takes to look someone in the eye and know that you’ll see their face every time you close your eyes at night, to live with the knowledge that yours will be the last your victim sees.\"

The wizard held up a hand, stifling Severprotprotest before it could start. \"Listen to me. It’s not your fault that you weren’t born a killer, it isn’t. Nature’s at fault for giving you a larger degree of the Phoenix’s gentleness when you were born, and not the Serpent’s venom.\"

Severus stared, unseeing at the wizard not not believing the words that he had just heard, \"I don’t understand.\"

The disguised monster chuckled softly, \"you’re seventeen years old and yet still not quite a man, but no longer a boy thoug thi think that its time for you to learn the truth about who you are, Severus.\" The wizard sighed as he gazed down on the small village below, \"I understand that Julius Snape had quite the collection hidden away oe fae family estate, away from prying eyes.\"

Brushing the collection of grass and leaves from his robes, he stood. \"Perhaps you might discover why he hates you so much, why Malfoy strives to be your friend so much and who you really are.\"

Severus gaped at the figure walking slowly away from him, fighting to understand what the wizard had been trying to imply. \"Just like that fool Dumbeldore, speaking in those damn riddles. Why can’t they speak English instead of playing games?\" He grumbled when the older Slytherin was safely out of earshot. Severus smirked at the thought of the image of the butcher hearing himself being compared and placed in the same category as his nemesis. As soon as the thought crossed his mit wit was hurriedly replaced with another, a question; Why?

Before he could contemplate it further, the sound of blood curdling screams reached his ears. The smooth mask slapped against his knees as he ran, stumbling down the lumpy hillside towards the source of the vocal terror. Despite knowing the reason for the horrific screams, Severus stumbled and rolled the last few feet down theep eep hillside as his heart stampeded against the ribs in his chest. He winced, landing on his side against sharp rocks. Severus’ palms stung as he rolled onto his hands and knees before pushing himself onto his feet.

Giant flames leapt into the late afternoon air, devouring everything in its path. Severus choked back the rising bile in his throat as he watched the internal organs spill to the ground from a woman’s body and her unborn fetus squish at her feet, splattering across the dark earth like rain drops. A sob escaped his lips as he watched the dark wizard’s followers hack apart a toddler’s body in front of his mother’s eyes as she herself was brutally raped by another pair of masked attackers.

Severus stumbled forward, ignoring the tears stinging in his eyes and threatening to fall as his comrades stared bewildered at him. He was numbly aware of a strong hand gripping his arm and pulling him roughly backwards, away from the nightmare inducing scene. Severus was unaware of the screams issuing from his mouth until his throat was raw and his voice disappeared, yet he still screamed in the silence. Severus clawed at the hand holding onto him like a vice, struggling to charge back into the hellish display only a few yards away.

The hand’s owner grunted and howled as Severus’ knee connected with the wizard’s groin. Severus hoarsely growled as he kicked and struggled against tron ron grip restraining him, pulling him away from the scene of the dark wizards’ entertainment. Tears streaked down his mud smeared face,as he whimpered softly the further away he was unceremoniously dragged. Severus clawed at the empty air, desperately and blindly seeking what wasn’t there. A familiar voice penetrated the thick cloud of hahrouhrouding Severus’ brain, \"damn it. Severus, get a hold of yourself.\"

Through blurry and tear filled eyes, Severus recognized the blond wizard pulling him backwards.<,> \"Lucius?\"

\"Yeah, do you mind telling me what the Hell you were thinking? I don’t want to know what he’s going t onc once he gets his hands on you.\" The golden tongued Slytherin snorted, pushing the younger boy to the ground. Leaning against a mossy stump, \"what in Salazar Slytherin’s name did you think you were doing? They’re only animals for Merlin’s sake!\"

\"I....I don’t know,\" Severus sobbed, wrapping his arms around his shaking chest and rocking himself nervously. \"I heard the screaming and I...I....\"

\"Well you’d better think of something and something good, because he’ll be wanting an explanation before punishing you.\" Sighing, Lucius rubbed his face briskly. \"No matter how fond of you he is, I wouldn’t want to switch places with you for anything when he gets done with you.\" Severus sighed as he leaned back against the sloping hillside and closed his eyes as the older Slytherin chattered on. The ghastly apparition of a skull penetrated by a snake loomed in the early evening sky above them, almost indistinguishable with the clouds.





He groaned, as the last bit of vomit trickled from his mouth and into the pool of bile collecting at the base of the rotting stomp he was sprawled across. Severus’ head swarmed as bolts of pain ricocheted in his skull behind his eyes and mingled with the nauseous dizziness fluttering in his gut. He whimpered as his gut twisted and clenched violently as spasms rocked him. Severus cried out as his body began to burn with sharp stabs of pain racking his bones.

Crimson blood streamed from his clenched lips as his teeth sliced through his tongue. Severus howled into the dreary forest atmosphere as his body thrashed involuntarily, beads of sweat adorned his clammy skin like studs. His onyx eyes rolled backwards as he screamed one last time before passing out. A cool wind ran through the boy’s raven hair, a loose strand of rebellious hair fluttered lazily as the sleeve of his robe slipped down his arm and revealed a black scar, twin to the one hanging ominously in the evening sky above.




A dry twig snapped behind the prone form of the unconscious Slytherin.






A/N

Sorry it took so long, life got in the way. The next chapter should be up soon, hopefully.

Please Read & Review

This chapter was beta-ed by Kate.