Matched

La Bib - Sorry I didnt get the sarcasm LOL, Im still trying to get the meds out of my system so Im slow. Michaels Ink...I was talking about those sexy tats of his, a clover on his left bicep, a cross on his back and another I cant make out on his right arm..but I think that one is Jason's and not a transfer like the others.





BEWARE of this chapter LOL...Im sort of punchy tonight and it got a little crazy.....









CHAPTER 23: Dueling Idiots and Innuendo





Hermione saw Lucius and Severus only briefly at breakfast. They were heading for Ireland to see a Quidditch match and wouldn’t be back until late. So, she spent the day reading and fell asleep on the sofa after dinner. She was having pleasant dreams of a night at the theater when she was awakened by the sounds of…..battle?



“Expelliarmus!” Hermione leapt from the sofa and ran to the back doors opening onto the veranda just in time to see Lucius rolling up from the ground and grabbing his wand.





“Aquamenti!” A stream of water shot from the end of his wand and doused Severus. The dark wizard shook it off and cast a quick drying spell and pointed his wand at Lucius.



“Avis!” A flock of black birds emerged and began to swarm Lucius before he cast a reducto and the flock disintegrated into ashes at his feet.





“Locomotor mortis!” Lucius was laughing hysterically when Severus tripped over his own feet and fell to the ground. “Finite Incantatem!” He released the leg locking curse, still laughing when Severus scrambled to his feet, glaring.





“Langlock!” Lucius stopped laughing instantly, unable to utter a sound as his tongue was stuck to the roof of his mouth. “Who’s laughing now?” Severus taunted before releasing the spell.





“What in the hell are you two doing?” Hermione asked, leaning over the stone wall surrounding the terrace.



“Dueling.” They said in unison.





“Why?” She asked.





“For fun.” Lucius said, looking at her as though it were perfectly normal for wizards to duel just for the hell of it.



She was rubbing her aching head, massaging her temples in slow circles while she clenched her eyes tightly closed.



“Let me get this straight. You two were bored, so you came into the backyard and decided to hurl curses and hexes at each other…..for fun?”





“That just about sums it up.” Severus nodded.





“I will never understand the way men think!” She threw her hands in the air and went inside. She entered the pool room and changed into her bathing suit before climbing into the hot tub.





“I’m sorry, we didn’t mean to upset you.” Lucius said as he and Severus entered the poolroom. Hermione didn’t even open her eyes, she just continued to relax, her head resting against the cushioned rim of the hot tub.



“I was terrified, I thought you were fighting or someone was attacking….” She felt them step into the hot tub with her. “Severus, you had better not be naked.” She said.



“I’m not, I have the trunks you bought, but couldn’t you get me something other than red and gold?” He asked.





“You swim in my house, you swim in my house colors.” She laughed, opening her eyes slowly and looking at them. They were sitting side by side looking like guilty children as they stared at her.



“Sorry Hermione, we didn’t think about it, we’ve been dueling for fun since we were kids.” Severus said, he did feel bad for frightening her. “



“We would have told you, but you were sleeping.” Lucius said. “Are you feeling okay?”





“I’m fine, I was just a little tired. Why don’t you guys try a game of chess, or poker? Something that won’t end up in an injury or possible death.” She asked.



“That’s no fun.” Severus scoffed. “Unless you want to join us, we could play strip poker.”



“No! You need a wife Severus, someone to put a leash on you and bring you to heel.”





“Not me, I wield the leash love, I don’t wear it.” He said darkly. Hermione started laughing.





“Oh yes….I forgot. I have to admit, I never dreamed you were anything but a jerky potions professor. If the girls knew just what lay under those robes, you would have seventh years sneaking through your dungeons every night.”



“Oh that’s just what I need, I have enough problems with the little idiots. Besides, if you knew me then like you know me now, you wouldn’t have learned anything. You would have spent all your time daydreaming about getting beneath my robes and seeing my wand.” He laughed. Lucius elbowed him in the chest and splashed hot water into his face before moving across the hot tub to pull Hermione onto his lap.





“Believe me, no one in this tub cares about getting beneath your robes or playing with your wand….except maybe you.” Lucius laughed as he wrapped his arms around his wife.





“Don’t be so sure, I think I felt her tongue when I stole a kiss last night.” Severus said, eyes shining with mischief.





“You wish.” Hermione rolled her eyes.





“Do you grant them?” He asked.





“Do I grant what?”





“Wishes. If you do I have a long list of things I wish you would let me do, see, touch and taste.” Hermione was laughing, she couldn’t help it, his outrageous flirting was funny.





“Severus, keep it up and I promise you, I will curse you to kingdom come.” Lucius said low. Sev didn’t seem disturbed, he just continued to focus on Hermione.





“I like that cute little bikini, red looks good on you. I would too…..” Hermione was laughing even harder. “You have lovely legs, what time do they open?”





“Hey Sev, is that a fishing rod in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?” She joined in.



“Hey, you two cut it out.:” Lucius grouched.





“Do you know what winks and fucks like a tiger?” Severus asked winking at her.





“Mean people suck, nice people swallow. I’m a nice girl.” She was really starting to enjoy her little game with Severus. She could feel Lucius tensing behind her.



“Do you know why women masturbate with these two fingers?” Severus held up his index and middle fingers. “Because they are mine baby.”



“Call me Milk, because I do a body good.”





“As long as I have a face you’ll always have a place to sit.” Severus said, his smile just as bright as Hermione’s as their verbal sparring continued.



“You two are making me sick.” Lucius said, though he couldn’t help but be amused by her laughter and naughty banter with Sev.



“They say sex is a killer, wanna die happy?” Hermione laughed.





“Wanna play Winnie-the pooh? I’ll get my nose stuck in your honey pot.”





“Who’s Winnie the pooh?” Lucius asked, he didn’t like being left out.





“ Hello, My name is Hermione, and I can suck start a Harley.”





“Hi, I’m Severus, and you have the whitest teeth I’d ever like to cum across.”





“Are those shorts felt? Would you like them to be?” Hermione asked. Laughing so hard she almost couldn’t get the words out.





“Did you know you have 265 bones in your body? Would you like me to show you one more?”





“Okay, enough!” Lucius stood with his laughing wife in his arms and stepped out of the tub. “You two are out of control.”



“Hey Sev, lets play Titanic, you can be the ocean and I’ll go down on you.” Hermione called over Lucius’s shoulder.



“That bikini is very becoming on you, If I were on you, Id be coming too!” He shouted ascross the room as Lucius stalked out of the room with his wife in his arms. Severus reclined back in the tub and smiled, he knew she had it in her, you just had to get her going..