The Lord of The Fae

“The time is ripe for attack; Hector has become overconfident in his rule. He thinks he has the people so suppressed they would not dare defy him.” Master Shijo informed Hiaro. Hiaro stood in Naru’s throne room staring out the window in contemplation.

Shijo was on of the surviving Shojian lords after Lord Voldemort’s take over. At his Shodans orders he went back and forth from Shoja to the castle keeping an eye on things for Hiaro. He was Hiaro’s ears and eyes in a country he should be hearing and seeing for himself.

It galled him sitting here safe and warm while his people suffered. He knew it was for the best, he knew he needed to learn to fight before he could be of any use, and that he was of no use if he was dead. He knew all that, but it didn’t change how he felt.

“Could we gather enough people for a full scale retake of the castle?” He asked. What answer was he hoping for? No, that would assure him more time to master Shojini but assure that his people suffered even more then they already had.

A yes, would mean that Hiaro would strike. Two outcomes could come of his moving into battle now. One was what he hoped for, many of his people would die but in the end they would be free and he would have his throne back. The alternative was less pleasant and probably the most likely.

Being young unseasoned in battle and untested in Shojini he would lead an attack, many of his people would die and he would die with them. The last of his peoples hope would die with him.

“Yes though they walk in fear the people are more then ready to fight for their freedom. They grow tired of oppression and weary of this degrading life. However my liege I must warn you, I would not advise making a move now. An unknown element has entered the plot and it would be unwise to make a move till you have its measure.” Shijo cautioned.

Hiaro frowned and waved for him to elaborate. “What unknown do you speak of?”

“He is called the Avenger, no one knows who his is or where he came from. No one lives after an encounter with him. He is fierce but oddly enough shows no more skill in fighting then some of our better warriors.” Shijo said.

Hiaro shrugged elegantly, “Then it will be easy to be rid of him.” To his surprise Shijo shook his head.

“Not so my lord, he has defeated wizards with far greater power then himself. It is said that you can use the strongest magic on him and he will continue as if he hasn’t felt it at all. Each of his kills is gruesome he kills as if driven by madness. The most dangerous enemy is an enemy with nothing to loose.” Shijo warned.

He was right this Avenger who ever he was, was a dangerous wild card. One that he couldn’t afford to toss aside. Avenger, Hiaro thought to himself that spoke of vengeance and revenge. A death eater whom the light side had wronged perhaps? “What do you know about him Shijo?” He asked his adviser.

“Only that he moves like a shadow in the night, and that he has been picking off members of the order for months now. The body of Adam Prewett was found in the village yesterday morning. We know it was him because he always burns an A into his victims flesh.” At this admission Hiaro stiffened.

For the last couple months Ron had been suffering terrible brutal pain during the nights, in the morning a red rash in the form of an A appeared on his chest. It usually faded by evening but would always return in full by morning. Because the Avenger would strike again. He understood now. Hiaro shivered.

“Then we must be overly cautious, this man whoever he may be is wholly evil. I have seen the way he kills and it is nothing shot of unholy!” Hiaro spat thinking of the pain Ron went through every night. Often Hiaro stayed to hold his hand and feed him potions. They rarely helped but he needed to do something! Anything but watch as slash marks appeared to mar Ron’s beautiful skin. Anything but do nothing as he screamed and his flesh ripped and bled.

He was so helpless he hated being helpless!

”You and me both. I’m going crazy just sitting here. I know your worried about Ron, I am too. I sat up with him last night and it was terrible. I wanted to break something, preferably Voldemort but being as he wasn’t around that wasn’t an option.”

Hiaro barely managed not to jump.

”Its ok, I’ll be alright. We both know why we have to stay here. Don’t worry I’ll be fine.” He assured Harry. he was getting used to Harry and Draco darting in and out of his mind. Those two were becoming more and more fae as time went on. And more and more in tune with each other and their elements.

He could often find Harry in the castle gardens, Hiaro could have sworn he was talking to the plants there. The garden had seemed to spring to glorious life. Winters snow did not touch it, the chill of the air could not reach it. The sun shown as bright as summer in the garden, it was Harry’s throne. It had become his private place.

The trees grew taller, taller then the castle itself it seemed. They grew dense in portions; Hiaro could almost swear he had entered a vast forest when he stepped in the garden. Part of him was convinced that it went on forever even though he knew that there were fences and walls around it.

He had not ventured into the depths of the garden without Harry or Draco by his side. It was just a feeling he had, that if he went it alone he could very well go in and never be seen again. It was a gateway, a gateway to something wild and foreign to him. Something he would never know and could never hoped to understand.

Needless to say as time went on their power increased. They could communicate openly with anyone in their minds. They could almost seem to read people as if they were distant from them. Well Draco was distant, Draco seemed to be becoming less and less…Man.

It wasn’t that he was becoming a monster or overly disliking of humans. It was more that he was becoming more elevated, if he needed to find a word for it Hiaro would say that Draco was becoming fae. Harry seemed to be fallowing but in slower degrees. Harry was different Harry had a warmth about him a love of humanity that Draco lacked.

Draco could read Hiaro’s feelings just as well as Harry could, yet he chose not to comment. Harry reached out in compassion. That was the difference in the two men, one was sensible, overly confidant and assured in his masculinity. He didn’t bother with tears and compassion. The other was softer, not exactly feminine, Harry wasn’t that but he was definitely the softer side of the partnership.

All in all the two of them seemed to complete each other. Draco kept Harry from being too brash and thinking solely on emotion, well as much as he could. Harry made Draco look at life as something other then cold reality. That was love; each partner brought their own faults and their own strength to the relationship. They often clashed but more often then not they blended in a beautiful unity.

Hiaro sighed and turned to Shijo, “we’ll wait then gather as much information on this Avenger as you can.”
~~~^^^~~~^^^~^^^~~~~^^^~~


When Dean opened his eyes the first thing he saw was Seamus. Beautiful in the morning sunlight with his hair tousled from sleep. He was leaning against a tree slumped slightly forward in exhausted sleep.

He looked angelic this way, so terrible fragile. Dean felt a wave of protectiveness sweep through him followed closely by an intense wave of love. It was really him, not just dreams and memories. It was really Seamus. He wanted to reach out and touch him; he'd give up forever to do it. Somehow his one and only had found him, he knew Seamus had felt him even separated as they had been.

He was the closest to heaven he'd ever get. Dean was well aware that he didn't deserve Seamus. He was everything good in him and better then him in more ways then Dean could count. He thanked god everyday of his life for letting Seamus wait. No body else would have waited the years Seamus waited. He wanted so badly to get up and wake him with his kiss, but he couldn't.

Images of his time spent in Voldemort’s manor replayed over in his mind. He cringed shying away from Seamus. It wasn't the beatings or the magical tortures that had threatened to break him.

It was Taylor and his cruel unforgiving taking of his body. Being on the run and constantly in danger had allowed him to push aside those memories, but with Seamus here they all came rushing back. He felt tainted, used and soiled by Taylor’s touch. How could he touch Seamus when he felt so unclean?

Seamus groaned in his sleep and opened his eyes slowly he blinked into he morning sunlight and turned over. He was scrambling to his feet the moment he saw that Dean was awake.

"DEAN" was all that he managed to hear before Seamus had grabbed him up in a chocking embrace. Dean flinched as Seamus pressed a kiss to the side of his neck. He was babbling and crying with joy; Seamus felt Dean flinch away from him and stopped. He stared down at him with puzzlement on his face. "I'm sorry am I hurting you?" He questioned breathlessly, he ran his hands through Dean’s hair in nervous joy.

To mask his reaction to being touched, Dean asked "How did you find me Seamus?"

Seamus smiled down at him, "I'll always find you Dean. You can’t get rid of me remember?" He smiled. He placed one fingertip on the side of Dean’s beautiful face and traced a light scar near his eye. Dean flinched again and shied away from his touch. Seamus felt hurt spear his chest, did Dean not want him anymore? No never that, something had to be wrong with him. "What’s wrong love? What did they do to you?"

Dean pushed out of Seamus` arms. He felt ill; this was Seamus the one man he trusted with his life; with his body. But touches reminded him of Taylor. He winced as a vivid picture of Taylor pounding so harshly into him invaded his mind. What would Seamus say, what could he do? It would only pain him to know how he had suffered; the last thing he wanted was to give him more pain.

He mustered a smile and shrugged. "Nothing I didn't live through. They beat the tar from me of course but nothing a healing potion couldn't handle. I did more harm to myself afterwards then they did." He said with a slight grin. Seamus nodded but watched him with concern.

"I'm just so glad your here. You don't know how much I’ve missed you Sea, the entire time I was in that place all I could think of was you. If I didn't have you I would have gone mad in that place." Dean whispered.

Flashes of Taylor and his cruelty played in his mind. He shuddered. He would have gone insane in that place if he couldn't hole up with memories of Seamus. He would have broken, had it not been for his memories of Seamus and little Danny. He was glad to be out of there.

"When they told me the news, they all thought you were dead. God Dean it nearly tore me apart, don’t ever leave like that again. I swear if you get one scratch on you I’ll kill you." Seamus admonished. He ruined the fierce reprimand with a smile of pure tremulous joy.

Dean felt a wave of pain go through his chest; he didn't deserve someone like Seamus. Looking at the man he loved now was like looking into a mirror that showed you how pure one thing was and only highlighted how impure you were. How dare he even contemplate touching something so wonderful as Seamus with his soiled person.

He knew it wasn't logical, that what had happened wasn't his fault. It didn't change the feeling of violation, the sensation of wanting to scrub himself clean even though he knew he wasn't dirty. He wanted to scrub and scrub until the memories faded away. Until they did he would be unclean.

"And don’t think I’ve forgotten how stupid you were in not eating and sleeping in the snow! Your so foolish and arrogant, and utterly kind and I love you all the more for it." He admonished he finished on a torrent of tears. He flung himself into Dean’s arms. The sudden movement surprised Dean so much that he cried out in shock. He tensed up like a log at the feel of Seamus arms around his back.

Seamus tensed against him and drew back. "Dean...please tell me what’s wrong." He pleaded softly. Those eyes of his, if Dean looked him in the eye he knew he would break. He could never deny Seamus anything. He bit back the tears threatening to break free. He searched frantically for a reason for his behavior other then the truth.

"My back hurts a lot, the potions healed it but I think some magic from a hex may have lingered. It hurts is all?" He reasoned giving Seamus a tight lipped smile. Seamus nodded and glanced at his feet.

"O.k. Simone can you brew him a second batch? That should heal whatever he's got." Seamus nodded calling out to a blonde young man. Dean thought there was something oddly familiar about him.

"Simon Darby, Ravenclaw year above you." The blonde clarified by his searching glance. Dean smiled, now he remembered. Seamus and that dammed potions essay he hadn't written. He'd bribed an wheedled till Simon had agreed to write it for him. The blonde had huffed that it was only this once and not to expect it to ever happen again.

"Makes sense, that he'd have you be the one to do it. Seamus is terrible at potions." Dean remarked, Simon grinned and Seamus laughed. He loved his laugh, it stole into his heart and seemed to squeeze. He loved everything about Seamus. He wanted to touch him, to hold him, to cry out his rage and his pain. But he couldn't, he wouldn't burden Seamus with something so...so dirty.

He itched to bathe, he actually wanted to attack his skin with soap and cleaning spells as images of Taylor flashed in his mind. He shuddered and rubbed at his skin unconsciously.

Seamus watched Dean, he wasn't the same. Something was terribly wrong and there was nothing he could do to help him. Dean said it was lingering pain, he hoped it was that. He hoped that when he drank another healing potion the pain would fade and he would take Seamus in his arms once again.

It had been so long, he'd thought he'd lost him and was dieing to touch him. To reach out, kiss him and hold him in the night and never let go. He hoped that all that once he was healed Dean would smile at him and open his arms. Like before.

That seemed to be the world’s new favorite phrase. Like before. Before...well they were here and now. Before was gone, Seamus knew that Dean was not telling the truth.

If there was pain it wasn't what was keeping him from Seamus` arms. He had ignored the pain of cold and hunger to comfort and take care of a little boy. If he loved Seamus as much as he said he did. A little pain in his body would not have kept him from his embrace after months of separation.

That meant two things; Dean his Dean, was lying to him and that he must not love Seamus as much as he said he did. Seamus shoved those tainted thoughts away. If there was anything he was more assure of it was Dean's love. So what was it then, he didn't believe for a moment Dean didn't love him but it was the only reason for rejecting his kiss that Seamus could think of. He glanced over at Dean; Dean gave him a wan smile
~~~~**~~~~**~~~~**~~~~**~~~
((I used to think I had the answers to everything))
Hari paced the halls that morning, her mind far away from the task at hand. Her brother was hurting and he was angry at her for hinting to Ron about his feelings.

((But now I know))

She hadn’t meant to force her brother into an awkward position. She had only meant to open Ron’s eyes a little. Instead she had probably ruined her brother’s chance for happiness.

((That life doesn't always go my way))

Her world was one of shadows and colors. When she opened her eyes she was aware of darkness, that ever present black void that was her world since that night when she was a little girl. What no one else realized was that just because she couldn’t see didn’t mean she was blind. Her vision had been altered that night, not destroyed.

She knew that a stone wall was in front of her, she could not see it but she could sense its precance. Her mind filled in the blanks, not just the wall but its very life force. She could feel the vines growing on the outside of it. She could feel the ants as they crawled their way through cracks in the stone. The pulse of life and energy was all ways around her. She saw none of it yet saw all of it.

She placed one hand on the wall and could instantly see the fates of every living being she touched. These ants were going to die. As all living things did, some would be stepped on others picked off by predators. Others would just die as was natural. She removed her hand. She was nineteen with the ability to see into the lives and hearts of others.

It had been her mother’s gift and her daughters curse. She did not touch people; it hurt too much to see. When she did touch they saw, sometimes she could make them see what she wanted them to see. When she had touched Harry’s forehead, she had seen images of a land unlike anything she had ever seen. She had seen pain and fear and desperation. She had shown him Draco’s death to get her point across.

((Feels like I'm caught in the middle))

It had worked, but had taken toil on her. She never knew if the vision was a mirror of what she wanted to show or reality. What was reality and what was a shadow of her own wants and fears. What did she Hari great seer of her people and sheltered princess of Shodan desire? What did she fear?


She wanted what everyone wanted, she wanted to be loved. She knew her brother loved her but it wasn’t the same. She may be seer and a princess but she was also a woman with a woman’s needs. She was also a child in so many years. Because she was his only daughter and so much like his wife her father had sheltered her from the very beginning.

((I'm not a girl, not yet a woman))

She had never left Shoja until the day he had moved them to Naru’s castle. She’d rarely even been outside the palace. She knew only her village and this castle; she knew nothing of the world except what she saw in her visions. She was a child ignorant of the ways of men.

They seemed like complicated beings, they were prideful arrogant and far too sure of themselves. They carried grudges to extremes and depended far too much on their own strength. They were also blind; it was funny how with her sightless eyes she saw far more then the men in her life ever would.

((All I need is time, a moment that is mine))

Hiaro for all that she loved him, was just as blind as everyone else. He didn’t see his own worth, didn’t have enough confidence in himself. He was strong yet there was a chink in the armor he wore around his heart. He feared rejection, he feared to forgiveness. She feared that because of her birth right and her brothers overprotective nature that she would be alone.

It was probably better that way anyway. How could she love a man and not touch him. For every time she did she would see. She would see before he was hurt, before he did something kind, or cruel. She would see before he died. As they lay in bed one night and she reached out to touch him she would see his imminent death. And she would try and halt it.

She never knew whether her visions were prophecy or fact. If they were facts, a look into the future she couldn’t change it. It would be dangerous to try. Life had an order a pattern it ran by. To interrupt that pattern could have grave results. She sighed, then again if it was prophecy it could be changed. After all a prophecy was just a vision of the most likely outcome. Fate was never certain you made your own fate.

((While I'm in between
I'm not a girl))

That was the real reason she had not found someone to share her life with. The men stayed away because she was cool and untouchable. She had to be, once she had touched a village boy and seen that on his way home he would take a fall and break his neck. She had warned him to take a different path home. Instead of falling down a hill, he fell into a ravine. She couldn’t prevent his death, because it was fate.

She would be alone; the least she could do was use her gift to help others. She had only meant to help her brother. Not to hurt him, but she had and now her heart felt heavy. She couldn’t be wise all the time. It had been a mistake.

((not yet a woman))

She walked over to the window; she could feel the air and the patterns of life beckoning to her. There was so much pain in the world; the least she could do was help. She had been given a gift and it was her responsibility to use it. Hiaro hated when she sought out the pain of others. Hated when she tried to see and heal. It had toil on her, on her strength.

It was hard to see terrible things, they left their scars. It was her mission in life, her duty her gift to do so. Perhaps it was a bit of a curse as well bust she did not resent her abilities. If they allowed her to ease someone’s pain if only for a little while then it was well worth it.

((There is no need to protect me
It's time that I
Learn to face up to this on my own))

She placed one hand out the window and opened her body to invasion. She sought with her soul the pain of others. She felt grief she felt rage, she felt tears and pain of all sorts. They were everywhere in these times. She swayed where she stood but managed to remain standing. She began to draw it into her self, flashes of memories swarmed her. A little boy watching death eaters kill his mother, a brother watching his sister being raped by her overlord.

The visions went on and on as each new pain assaulted her senses and her body. She took everyone, sending out her own visions of hope. She weaved both hands in the Shojini symbol for peace of spirit and continued to seek. She never noticed the track of tears sliding down her cheeks.

((I've seen so much more than you know now
So don't tell me to shut my eyes))

Then she was slammed with such incredible pain and emptiness that it rocked her body like a blunt blow.

“Where are you…help me…please…PLEASE!”

The cry was like a lance to her middle, ripping through her body in incredibly intense pain. She felt as if someone had torn the soul from her chest. There was a great monstrous cavern opening inside her. Then there was a black whole of depravation devouring her insides, and the feel of her skin being torn. Some one was dieing a brutal merciless death, there was a burning in her chest as if some one had taken fire too it.

She bit back a scream and the urge to separate herself in revulsion. She had never touched a Death Eaters mind before. The depravation repulsed her but this man held so much pain with in his body she couldn’t force herself away. His call was the loudest she had ever seen. He wasn’t calling for her, she could feel his seeking.

She reached out ignoring the terrible pain in her body, continuing to draw more of it into her. Who was he seeking so desperately?

There!

She felt it just a bare brush of feeling. An echo of life, when people died they often left a shadow behind. Some were tied to earth because of the fear of death, the shadow was different. It was as if when a person died they could somehow sense that they were needed. She’d seen it happen with spouses’ fathers, brothers and other loved ones. Their souls were gone but they had one last connection.

As if one tiny part of themselves was held to earth by the pain of the people they loved. It was often why people could swear they felt their loved ones presence in their moments of fear and pain. The shadows were not of this world and had no real place in them. They eventually faded as their loved ones healed. The need for them vanished and they too vanished.

This particular shadow was different. It was caught suspended between life and death. She couldn’t put her finger on it but if she didn’t know differently she would have sworn this shadow could hear! That it felt the mans call. It blinked and wavered as if shuddering in pain.

“I cant stop it…I cant stop it…George…”

The pain was too much; Hari wept her body shaking as she felt the pain of death tear into her body. The shadow wavered and flickered rapidly as if it too felt pain. She reached out and touched it. Something terrible and foreign ripped into her body. She felt two great forces pulling on her, tearing her in half.

She felt her soul waver and blink, her body shuddered. The shadow was beginning pulled in two directions. He was dead yet alive, his body had been slain but he fought to remain on earth. The other mans pain kept him locked to this earth. And he suffered for it they both did.

~ Why do you not go to rest shadow?~

~He needs me, I can’t leave him like this.~

~your mortal body has long departed this world, you cause him more pain by lingering~

~He won’t let me go. What’s happening to him? Why is he like this?~

~His connection to you is too strong; he holds you to this world and does both of you grave harm. He sinks into madness and you shall never know rest~

~help him, please. I’ve tried I can’t touch him. When I do he just gets more sad.~

~I cant, to touch one so dark would put my own life in danger.~

~he isn’t dark, he wasn’t like this. Please help him.~

She pulled back from the shadow; she felt as cold as ice and sank to the cold stone floor. Her body shook with waves of pain and weariness. Tracks of red slid down her cheeks. She gulped back tears and felt a raw burning in her throat. She was sweating blood. She was crying it. Those poor men, she wanted to help them. She wanted to but the pain was too much.

She knew her limits to try and heal so great a pain would be to chance her own destruction. How did one become so empty? How did they get into that state of hopelessness? It was beyond hopelessness it was madness.

Her door broke open. She hadn’t even noticed the pounding. Hiaro flew into the room his eyes wide with fear and anger at the sight of her.

“Hari what have you done to yourself! You know it’s dangerous to seek! You can’t take on everyone’s pain! You’ll die! Did you learn nothing from mother’s death?” She shuddered as he gathered her into his arms. Their mother had died trying to help someone; her soul had been torn from her body by great pain.

“You cant seek, in these times it’s just too dangerous you could…” Hiaro’s voice faltered. He was staring at the front of her gown. Hari fought for breath and managed to weakly look down at herself. The front of her white gown was soaked in blood, not just any blood stain. It had soaked into the spiky symbol of an A. Hiaro sucked in a breath.

“You tried to heal the Avenger? Hari that mans a monster! Don’t ever do that again! Do you hear me?” Hiaro was shouting now. She knew he was scared for her. She was all her brother had. She reached out her arm shaking with weakness, she touched the side of his face.

A fire place… a bed room….soft sheets…happiness.

Hiaro’s heart was in his throat. When Ron had felt the pain of another one of the Avengers killings he had been shocked to hear him scream Hari’s name. Even in the midst of his own terrible pain he had warned Hiaro that his sister was in great pain. When he’d pounded on her door and hadn’t answered he’d feared the worst.

She was smiling now, a faint beautiful smile of peace. “You’ll be alright Hiaro. Things will be ok.” She whispered. He held her to him as she sank into dreams.
~~~~***~~~*~~~***~***~**~*

Dean had just finished updating the others on his escape; they stared at him in shock and silence. Neville shifted where he stood and gazed up at the night sky. Lee was unaffected, he’d heard this all before. Danny was sitting on Seamus lap. He was the only one of their party to still feel some sort of happiness. It was rather comical to watch the young boy’s reaction to meeting the real life Seamus. He had bombarded him with questions and demanded assurance that every one of his adventures was real.

Seamus had a lot to live up too. Danny looked at him like his hero had fallen from the stars. Dean sighed, as well he should. Seamus was his hero in more ways then he would ever know. Hermione appeared troubled by the news as well she should be, she would have to go back and inform her boyfriend that his brother was not only alive but in the hands of death eaters.

“This potion could you find a way to reverse its affects Lee?” Lupin asked gesturing to the potion the Dark lord had used to help take over. “We’ll never win if he can strip us of our magic.”

Lee nodded, “Most likely, but I’d need the proper tools.” He confirmed. Lupin nodded.

“That’s it then, we’ll need to return to head quarters. The trouble is getting there, we can’t use magic and all forms of muggle transportation are now guarded by Patrols.” Hermione said. Simon nodded in agreement.

“They’re used to transport slaves and servants now. Only pure bloods are allowed to use magical transportation. The rest of us take buses planes and boats like the muggles of old. They’re run by Patrols, you need papers and documents to get on them. Which means that’s out of the question, I’m probably fired by now seeing as I’ve missed two days of work. There is no way my overlord is going to give me travel papers.” Simon sighed.

Gabby whom was sitting on his lap shrugged her little shoulders, “Don’t feel so bad Simon. I’m fired too.” She chirped patting his thigh lovingly.

Simon frowned down at her, “you wouldn’t be if you had listened to me puss, you never listen you know that?” His stern scold was ruined by the smile in his eyes. Gabby knew her brother wasn’t able to be angry at her for long.

“Head quarters is in Japan. We can hardly walk!” Neville protested bringing the conversation back to how they were going to get back to base.

Remus nodded. “Your right, which means we need to find a way to get transported with a shipment of slaves.”

“How? The only registered Servants here are Gabriella and Simon, and thanks to us they no longer have jobs.” Lee protested.

“We need a pure blood, someone from the order but not under suspicion to “buy” us and ship us to Japan. Every night the patrols catch run away muggles and unregistered half bloods and throw them into the slave pits. We simply allow ourselves to be caught and sold. The order member will buy us ship us to Japan.” Seamus voiced. Everyone stared at him.

Dean thought about it, it could work. But it had a lot of room for error. What if someone other then their confidant bought one of them? He had heard tales of horror about the slave pits, he looked over at Seamus. He didn’t want his love anywhere near that place of pain and terror.

How else could they get there?

Remus was nodding. “It’s a sound idea, it’s problematic to be sure but the only way I can think of. I’ll send a message to Severus.”
~~~~~~~~````

“Sirius, your furry little friend has contacted us.” Snape informed his partner shoving him awake. Sirius looked incredibly peaceful when he slept. It was a shame to wake him but it had to be done, Severus wasn’t one to moon over beauty. Best to wake him before he fell into the habbit.

“Remus is back?” The delight in Sirius voice over this prospect annoyed Severus a little. He didn’t like to think too hard on their past together.

“No, you’re incredibly dense when you try. He sent a message through the stones.” He snapped, a little irrataion leaked into his voice. Each member of the order had a magical mirror stone that allowed them to communicate back and forth.

“Wait if he uses the stone, he can’t get into the castle!” Sirius noted. Severus rolled his eyes; Sirius concern over Lupin was annoying at best. He knew they were friends and probably shouldn’t be jealous. And he wasn’t, Severus Snape was jealous of no man. It didn’t mean he had to like Lupin.

“yes he can because technically he hasn’t started his journey here yet. As soon as he makes a conscious decision to come here, as soon as he takes that first step he can no longer use magic. So we have to make plans now while everyone’s still in the discussing stage.” Severus informed him.

“Remus has some dodgy plan to get here, he needs an order member of pure blood to buy him and the others from the slave pits. That way said member can get them all here. There’s a problem with that though. Slave registration and shipment can take months to file. if your just anybody. However if you’re a powerful pure blood money and pressure gets things done faster.” Severus had a plan but he was wary on Sirius` reaction to it.

“None of our members have that kind of clout. And most are under suspicion a huge shipment of slaves to a random location in Japan would alert everyone that something was up.” Sirius pointed out. Exactly! Snape nodded.

“Exactly, we need someone under no suspicion with political clout. Someone no one would think twice about suspecting.” Severus hinted.

Sirius furrowed his brow and glances at Severus. He reeked of nerves and trepidation.
“Spit it out who are you thinking of!” he growled. Severus frowned at him.

“Patiance Black, I was thinking of Narcissa to be honest.” As soon as he said her name he saw Sirius stiffen. He could feel his anger and jealousy leaking off him. Severus rolled his eyes.

“She’s perfect, she’s got connections money and no one would suspect her! And she owes me a favor…”

“Yes she sure owes you! She owes you your life! She took that away from you twice did you forget that!” Sirius demanded. Severus felt a spark of anger simmer in his gut.

“Yes and the first time you urged her to do it! I haven’t forgotten that!” he shot back. Sirius flinched and stepped away from him.

“How can we trust her, she always sides with them!” he demanded.

“Because she owes me, because I’ll make her vow. Because she isn’t evil as you keep on insisting labeling her! Because her son’s with us and if she gives us away he’ll die with us!” Severus retorted.

“You write to her everyday. I see you.” Sirius accused. What was wrong with him, Severus was getting angry with his behavior. He’d never had a greater urge to shout bad boy down, then at this moment. His life with Sirius was an edgy rollercoaster of emotions.

“Damn it Black, She’s a friend! I watch you with Lupin and don’t cry about it!” Most of the time anyway. Snape thought to himself.

“That’s different!” Sirius shot back.

“Oh and just how! How is it different!” Severus demanded is ire growing with each word that Sirius utterd.

“I love you. I’ve made it clear, and you know I do. I can be with Remus but all I can think about is you. When you write to her, if she comes here… seeing her with you is going to eat me alive. How can I be sure, every moment I’ll be wondering what she feels for you and what you feel back. I don’t like it, I can’t stand it.” Sirius whispered turning away from him.

Good lord was Sirius really that dense! Could he honestly still be wondering whether he loved him or not?

“Well Sev, you haven’t ever actually said the words.”

“Will you mind your own business Draco!”

“I realize you like to think you’re an ice man and that saying ‘I love you’ is beneath you. But if you don’t you’ll loose him.”

“Any idiot could see clearly how I feel.”

“it’s not enough. Until you say it he’s always going to wonder. And seeing you with a past lover is going to drive him crazy. He’s right its different with him and Remus, Remus is a friend a married friend, and you have assurance of his love for you. The least you could do is give him some.”

“Thank you doctor I’ll keep that in mind” Snape growled. He could hear Draco and Harry chuckling. It was damn uncomfortable having those two floating around in his head. But Draco was right. It was hard though, loving someone opened you up for pain. He knew how he felt and tried his best to show Sirius.

Something about not saying the words allowed him a false sense of safety. As long as he never said them he never had to acknowledge that he had a giant crack in his armor against life. He’d been hurt by love once too often in life, wasn’t it enough to just go on as they were? Why did he have too say it.

“Because that’s love. It takes all of you. You can’t hold back or you’ll loose it.”

“Potter the next time you snoop around in my thoughts I’m going to hex you! You are the last person to give me advise on love! I seem to recall you once stabbed your mate. And perhaps your right Draco, maybe I’ll take a leaf from your book and stomp on his nose!” Snape fired back in irradiation. He could hear both of them laughing in embarrassment.

He felt like laughing. He didn’t, it was hard but he fought it back. It wouldn’t do to appear to have lost his senses.

“He’s good for you don’t screw up.” Draco admonished.

He was trying not too, he really was.

A/N: this is the end. Last chapter, lol Jk. I'd like to thank Mangacat, Jan, Missa, amd Jess for thier many and faithful reviews. You have no idea what that means to me, and how much feedback you give. There are others and I thank them as well it's just my fingers are Tired. Lol.