The Price Of Knowledge

So. There I was, sitting before Headmistress Maxime with both my parents and my former Headmaster, Professor Dumbledore. I was sweating, reeking of sex, my knickers who even knows where, being told all about the exciting, progressive curriculum at Beauxbatons – and the only thing running through my head was:

FUCK.

You really stepped into this time, Hermione.

I wasn’t really listening to poor Headmistress Maxime. I wasn’t really taking in the concerned looks from my father, or the way my mother was squeezing my hand. I wasn’t even thinking about Professor Dumbledore and his motives…in this moment of what should have been filled with self-reflection and repentance and guilt, my thoughts were on Draco.

I thought of the times we had shared, the first time he kissed me, the contract, groping in the halls, sex…lots of sex…talking with him, laughing with him…

How me told me he loved me.

How he held my hand to comfort me.

How the git didn’t even fucking fight for me.

He spent years being a self-righteous little prat and when it came down to it, he just let me go. He figured it would be ‘safer’ for me to run. Rather than face down any enemy together, he pushed me away. “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out!” he might as well have said.

Was this his idea of love?

I believed in passion – the fire within us all that inspired greatness. It was in everything I did, a piece of my very psyche. I thought love was supposed to be stronger than anything else in the world: grief, fear, pain, hate. Wasn’t true love supposed to be worth fighting for? Were his feelings so superficial that when the going got tough, Draco just got going? I mean, how could I have feelings for someone so indifferent?

And why did it hurt so much?

As I would have guessed, Professor Dumbledore stayed with me as Headmistress Maxime took my parents to fill out enrollment forms, or the like. I wasn’t exactly paying attention when she led them out of the room.

Of course, Professor Dumbledore was reading my mind. “While you feel it unmerited and overzealous, this is the right thing to do.”

My haze lifted, and I mulled over his words. “Right for who, Professor?”

“My dear child, there are things that I have bore witness, atrocities committed upon wizards by fellow wizards that I would never, ever wish on you. Atrocities committed for the sake of revenge, hate, prejudice, and even for the most simple and trivial things.

“You are a very lucky young lady. You were gifted with great power and a hungry mind. Most young wizards I encounter have an unhealthy sense of entitlement, taking their powers for granted. But not you. You worked hard, studied hard, always ravenous for more. You were fortunate enough to have an environment where such abilities were able to flourish. Your parents, to start, instilled many wondrous values into you. The love they give is unconditional. Sadly, this is not a normal occurrence.

“Draco’s life has never seen this. His parents were cold and proud, more intended to further their status and manipulate than show their son a loving hand. The Malfoy family was far into the folds of Tom Riddle’s mix, people brought together out of hate, intolerance and a very warped sense of logic. Draco was trained to be the epitome of a Pureblood son, just like his father. This is common practice among the Purebloods – and has been so for a very long time.

“I watch over my students, not only to protect them from the outside world but themselves. I have not always succeeded…but I have tried my best. For you I can ensure you finish your schooling safely. If that means for you to finish it away from Hogwarts, then that is what we shall do.”

Professor Dumbledore seemed so old then, so weary. Even his eyes were dull, listless behind his half moon spectacles. He seemed to be staring into a bottomless void, one that was sucking the color from his usually rosy cheeks.

“What about Draco?” I asked quietly, breaking his moment. “How will you save him?”

His eyes lifted and set on me. He seemed to stand straighter than before. “I don’t need to save him. You did.”

I wanted to scoff at him, laugh in his face – but he wasn’t joking.

“You showed him what a Muggleborn could do. You contradicted his beliefs. You made him love, even if it was not to normal standards. You gave him something he did not have before, knowledge. The price he paid was a broken heart – something that will heal over time. Draco will love again, this I know, thanks to you. There will still be problems in his future – complications born of his past – but he will overcome.”

“You know this for certain?” I asked.

“He is very resilient.”

“And what about me?” I threw up my hands, gesturing to our surroundings. “Is this protecting me from myself, whisked off to a new life? Shouldn’t I be back at Hogwarts fighting for Muggleborn rights, fighting for him, for me?”

“Well to be very frank, you did leave a mess. In time you will understand. I just implore you to keep up your studies, maybe use this newfound knowledge in future endeavors. ” But he was absolutely right – I did leave a mess. Not only had my entire life somersaulted into a different direction, I had a Pureblood in love with me, turned a best friend into an enemy, inspired my dorm mate to start a lesbian affair – and who knows what else had happened in the midst of my so-called odyssey.

I had always been so certain of myself, what I wanted. Now that ever-clear path was shrouded in ambiguity. My values had changed, my beliefs shifted. I was not the same person that started her last year at Hogwarts so few months ago. In a very short amount of time, I had started to evolve, and that process would continue.

I was growing up. There were so many phases of my adolescence I knew this to be true, but as all of those phases came full circle, it was really hitting me how what I knew wasn’t necessarily all there was. The world was full of infinite possibilities and I was capable of so much.

It was like my eyes were open and the view was frightening and vividly sharp.

Professor Dumbledore was right – there was so much ahead of me.


Graduation came and went. I was top of the class in spite of not spending every waking moment with my nose buried in a book. I got to know my classmates, even if our time together was brief. School in France was different from the UK, the students and faculty more relaxed than I was used to.

Away from Hogwarts, I was simply Hermione Granger. I entered the school towards the year-end surrounded by mystery. I was not Harry Potter’s friend, not Draco Malfoy’s girlfriend, not even a Know-It-All. I was just a girl who happened to get good grades, who happened to be gifted at magic. Nothing extraordinary.

I think I relished my new place in the mold. I could be anyone, anything, free from the expectations of my peers. It was liberating, almost as much as my sexual revolution.

With my shiny new diploma in hand, I thought I could move forward, the world my proverbial oyster, ripe with potential. Although I felt surging optimism towards my future, there still retained a thread of regret, a lament. I had so much to be thankful for, but really, my knowledge had come at a cost – a cost that I had shared with others. A broken heart. The end of a friendship. Self-imposed exile.

Somehow, I knew…

Someday, somehow…

I still had a debt to repay.




The End.



Final A/N: So here it is. After two years, over 50k hits, 500 plus reviews…The Price of Knowledge is finally complete. Many of you might be disappointed by where I left the ending stand. Please know this was never intended to be a romance, merely a journey of discovery and consequence. The epilogue does explore the future.

I’d like to thank everyone for reading, especially when I went into a writing funk and didn’t post for almost a year, and always reviewing. Ashley also gets a very special thank you for proofreading and being my motivator.

BTW, my favorite chapter to write was 17. Draco's dialogue was as fun to write as to read.

Thanks again everyone, and check out the epilogue!