Tel\' Lindar (The Bard)

A/N - Due to some rather pressing RL issues, I will be taking a 4 to 6 week hiatus from writing. I am NOT abandoning TL, - in fact 25 is completed on paper and the next 7 chapters are rough drafted - however I cannot deal with some of the issues in my life and continue to feed the fantasy . In short, I am burning the candle at both ends, and I\'m not being very kind to my body. Something has to give for a while. If the matter is resolved sooner, I will be back sooner. Prayers and positive thoughts would be most appreciated.

As usual, it ain\'t mine, I\'ll give them back , maybe when I\'m done and love to Dame, GotSnape and Alex for putting up with my bs.

Chapter 24

Walking in Fields of Green or I heard my Mama cry... I heard her pray the night ole Voldie died...

***

And we will dream, you and I,
And we will run through the gre green grass
That grows beside the river of Lorien
We will splash in the rapids and roll in the silver sands of the water\'s edge
When night comes, we will rest high in the treetops,
With only the stars to witness our loving.

Dame Niamh

***


The woods.

Lorien, with the great Golden Mallorns rising above her.

Ah. How long had it been since these trees rose gloriously over Middle Earth? How long...

Shit.

Shitshitshit!

Bronwyn\'s shoulders slumped, head bowed. For so long, she begged, screamed to be allowed this, and on the night she fell into another\'s arms... allowed another to pleasure her...

She hadn\'t fallen... she had catapulted herself at him!

I have got to get out of here!

Quickly, Bronwyn made her way down the path, trying to keep an eye on the trees, where the Galadhrim had built their flets to rain arrows on their enemies.

Nononono, she chanted to herself. Not today of all-

\"Baraermin?\"

For a split second, Bronwyn allowed herself to savor the sound of that word, spoken by that voice. How long had she begged, pleaded for him to come to her...

She took off in a run, swatting at the low lying brush, feeling the sting of slender branches whip across her face...

Running with a painful ‘thud\' into a tree...

No. Not a tree.

Strong hands gripped her shoulders as she looked up, terrified of what she would see. She pulled away, cryi

\"Haldir.\" Bronwyn sagged, in an attempt to fall to her knees. The Big Elf held her firm, his dark blue eyes, filled with concern and confusion.

\"Baraer, why do you run from me?\"

Tears that had been threatening to spill finally poured from her eyes. \"Oh, m\'aelamin. I\'m sorry.... sooo sorry. I\'m weak, I\'m stupid, I have...\" she collapsed in his embrace, sobbing.

She felt herself being scooped up in strong arms and carried to the nearest mallorn. Haldir sat and arranged her in his lap, her head on his shoulder. Cocooned in his arms, he allowed her to cry for several minutes, before finally stating to her, \"You feel you have betrayed our love because you have shared yourself with the Wizard.\"

Bronwyn let her head fall on his chest and cried until she had hiccups.

\"Dry your eyes, Baraermin.\" She felt the soft material of his tunic swipe across her face. Blinking, she found herself in Galadriel\'s garden at Caras Galadhon. Haldir pulled her to a standing position. She noticed that everything - the roses, the camellias, the daffodils, were in full bloom.

\"Come. Talk with me.\" Although he smiled, his eyes were dark, saddened. She could clearly see the burden of her sin weighing him down.

\"Scream at me, rail at me. Anything. I don\'t deserve...\"

\"My anger? My fury?\" Haldir turned her to face him. \"Yes, it is there, but not at you. I am angry at the Wizard, angry at the Valar, angry at myself.\" He laid a finger gently across her lips. \"N\'uma. Say nothing. It is hard for you to say nothing and be quiet. I know.\" That comment elicited a growl from her and he gloried in that sound. He pulled her into a fierce hug and held her close. \"So long. So long I have desired to hold you, to feel the warmth of you.\"

\"Then why? Why didn\'t you come to me?\" Her sob was muffled in his tunic. \"Why have you waited so long to come to me?\" She pushed back angrily. \"You have come to Severus almost every night, stalking him, showing him Iluvatar knows what! But you could noare are a thought for me! Your wife!\"

\"Aye! My wife! Amin!\" Haldir\'s smile was grim. \"And what would you have done had I come to you every night? Every sleeping moment?\" He took in her slow realization. \"Aye. You would live to sleep. To hell with your bow, to hell with the world of men. You would live to sleep.\" He reached out to her and pulled her back in close. \"My visits with you are limited. Very limited for that reason.\"

Bronwyn allowed herself to be pulled in, pulled into the warmth of his body. \"So you have come for a specific purpose.\"

\"Aye.\" He sighed.

\"What is it? Get it out, so we can enjoy the rest of this limited time!\"

Haldir shook his head smiling slightly. His wife, his Baraer had never been one to mince words. How to say this...

\"I came to reassure you of this path you take with the Wizard...\" his voice trailed off and she pulled back to scowl at him.

\"Reassure me of this path? You mean you don\'t mind that I slept-\"

\"I mind!\" Blue eyes went cold, frigid in contempt. \"Aye! I mind! I despise him, hate him. He is crude, self-absorbed, does not see past his own crooked nose. There is no gentleness in him! I mind that when you need comfort, rest, you must seek it in his arms because I cannot give you what you need. I mind that I cannot help you, cannot aid you in your search. I mind that the only breathing soul that can aid you in that, needs you like...\" He stopped suddenly, as if hitting a wall, snapping his mouth shut.

\"Needs me like what?\" Her voice, while quiet, was dangerously heated.

Haldir\'s words were measured, weighted, pulled out of him like a dragging chain. \"He needs you like you needed me.\" The words hung in the air, heavy as bricks.

\"Severus Snape does not need anyone.\"

\"He does, Baraermin. He needs you desperately-\"

\"I don\'t want him to need me! I don\'t want to need him! I don\'t want to like him or desire him or-\"

\"Is you heart so small, Bronwyn?\"

Her intake of breath at the use of her name nearly strangled her.

\"Haldir. I love you, I - \"

He took her hands in his, enfolded them and held her tightly. \"I know you do. I do not and will not every doubt that.\" He kissed her. \"Ever. Such is the gift of Men, to have an endless supply of love and caring.\" She felt his hair brush her cheek when he bent over to whisper in her ear. \"Do you ever wonder what he hides in his pensieve?\"

Bronwyn jerked her head up so fast, she banged the Elf on the nose. \"Ai! Bara-\"

\"Those are private thoughts!\" she spat angrily. \"They are his!\" Her voice suddenly dropped several decibels. \"Can you really see in his pensieve?\"

Haldir continued to rub his nose. \"There is nothing of his that he can hide from me.\"

Bronwyn scowled, anger renewed. \"Oh, that is not fair! That is not fair to him! That pensieve is-\"

\"Personal? Private? Aye. But how else am I to guide him, if I do not know him?\" He stepped back and tucking her hand in the crook of his elbow, they proceeded to stroll between blooming camellias and roses. \"For someone who does not want to like or desire the Wizard, you come to his defense quickly enough,\" he groused. \"You know some things from his past, things you have seen hidden within.\"

It was a statement, Bronwyn recognized it as such. \"Yes. Horrible things, but he has tried to atone for that... his mistakes.\"

They came around a profusely budding rose bush, its scent almost over- powering. \"Have you ever wondered what drove such an intelligent and powerful Wizard into alignment with such a malignant being?\"

\"No,\" she admitted ruefully. \"I have been a bit preoccupied and self- centered myself.\"

Haldir grinned mischievously. \"Oh, aye! Those students of yours are a handful! Very preoccupied!\"

\"Don\'t tease! I\'ve been looking-\"

\"He has been looking,\" Haldir corrected. He ran his hand through long blonde locks, giving his back braid a firm tug. He turned back to the task at hand. \"Baraer. Are you not even curious?\"

Bronwyn turned her husband loose to caress a pale pink rose, admiring the soft petals. \"He puts those memories in his pensieve for a reason. What he keeps, what I\'ve seen is pretty horrible. I can\'t imagine what horrors-\"

\"You would be surprised, Baraer.\" he said softly. He gestured towards a darkening corner of the garden. As she focused on the alcove, silvery threads began to flow like fog, winding around bushes and slowly building. Against her will, she focused on the shapes forming like wraiths in the mist. A room, lit only by weak candlelight and a sputtering fire. Shadows capered on the walls in a maniacal dance. She felt the chill of the coldness of the room against her skin.

She was aware gro growing scream...

\"NO! No! No! Please, Papa! Don\'t hurt Mama...\" A small, black haired child cringed in the corner, separated from a tall man by a screaming, cowering woman; his arm and wand raised...

\"Crucio!\"

The woman opened her mouth to scream and the sound of a train whistle issued from it...

The Hogwarts Express came speeding around the bend, a young Severus gazing out the window. Long hair fell over his eyes and he stared out of the window, watching the greenery fly by.

Who was going to protect his mother while he was in school? When the old man was deep in his cups, he couldn\'t withstand many of the hexes Severus had managed to learn. But with him gone in school...

He was smacked in the head by the black haired boy across from him. \"Merlin! Do you ever wash it?\" He and his friends laughed at the shabbily dressed child. \"What did you say your name was again?\"

Severus had the final lingerings of a cold and he wiped his already large nose on his sleeve. \"Severus. My name is Severus Snape.\" he replied stiffly.

\"Severus?\" A boy with unruly dark hair and glasses blurted. \"What the hell kind of name is that?\"

\"Severus?\" The other one chuckled. \"More like... Snivellus!\" The two laughed at their own pathetic joke as the train rocketed on through the countryside. Severus glared at them, holding his head high. Gods, he was trading one prison for another...

A teenaged Severus sitting on his bed, zapping flies...

Hanging upside down...

\"Hey everyone! Want to see what Snivellus is hiding?\"

Childish, cruel laughter...

Growling, howling in the dark, a hand reaching out...

\"Gods, Severus! Come on! Damn you, Sirius! Remus won\'t know you!\"

Nothing

Darkness

A voice she recognized.

\"Severus! Can you imagine? Every ingredient you need! Nothing would be denied you! No potion! No book! Think of the knowledge gained! No one to nay say you! You would be one of the elite! You could have your revenge on Black!\"

Knowledge gained...

Bronwyn\'s eyes flew open, the rich smell of dirt in her nose. She realized she was on her knees, forehead pressed to the grass, her cheeks, wet...

\"Oh God!\" she gasped. She squeezed her eyes shut again.

\"Think about it, Baraer. Think of some one lHermHermione Granger, in Slytherin. No friends, denied quite a bit of the knowledge, education, she seeks. Ridiculed, despised.\" His voice was so close. \"The only person she cared about enduring Iluvatar knows what. I do not think your Wizard had one happy childhood moment.\"

Bronwyn continued to squeeze her eyes. \"His mother? Is she dead?\"

\"No. Still a. So. Somewhere... safe. She has good days and bad ones, as may be expected. She is the only one who ever stood up for him.\"

Bronwyn opened her eyes and peered to the side. Haldir lay prone, on the ground, cheek propped on one hand. \"No wonder he gets so upset when I call him a..\"

\"You tread on very thin ice when you slight him via his mother. I had hoped you would figure it out.\" He smiled fondly. \"You are such a neithadol.\"

\"True.\" she smiled back. \"You have leaves in your hair.\" With her cheek still pressed to the ground, she reached over clumsily and pulled a leaf from the braided locks. She examined the stray leaf, rolling over on her back. \"Still. How do you manage to invade his private thoughts like that?\" She winced as she pricked her other thumb, looking casually to see the rose she had been caressing plucked from the bush and clenched tightly in her hand.

\"Truthfully,\" he mumbled, \"I did not have access to his pensieve.\"

\"Then how did you come by the knowledge you have?\"

Haldir ran his fingers through his long hair, dislodging several other leaves, before grasping the heavy back braid and tugging nervously. \"You were not the only one who looked in Galadriel\'s mirror.\"

Silence fell over the garden as Bronwyn fought for breath. \"Heru, when did you look?\"

Haldir\'s eyes were closed tight. He had sat up and was yanking on his braid in earnest, clearly not wanting to answer her. \"Right before you did.\"

\"You knew?\" Bronwyn screeched. Haldir peered with one eye, fully absorbing his wife\'s ire. \"How could you do this to us? How could you not tell me?\"

Haldir released his hair and grabbed her, pulling her to him. \"Listen carefully...\"

\"Oh, NOW he wants me to listen. NOW that he\'s DEAD and put me in a living hell, he wants me to listen! Shouldn\'t you have told me be wee we left Valinor?\"

\"DIN!\" His command was sharp. \"I looked in Galadriel\'s mirror and saw many things; horrific things, good things, confusing things. Things that depended on whatever decision you made! My death was a possibility; your death was a possibility; failure was a possibility, things going smoothly were a possibility. All things were a possibility. All depended on your decision on when to return and how we returned!\" The words fell from his mouth like water down a waterfall. Bronwyn listened, staring in disbelief. \"There was no way to know what path led where. All I understood was that if you died...\" his voice dropped off, \"all was lost. No one would have the ability to retrieve your bow.\"

\"And if you died?\"

\"The Wizard would be entrusted to care for you.\" Haldir looked her straight on. \"He would be entrusted to aid you, care for you.\"

Bronwyn crushed the rose she held in anger, its sweet fragrance exploding and its essence moistening her hand. She paid little heed to the thorns that pricked her fingers. \"Damn them! Why did the Valar do this to us?\"

Haldir gently took her hand, pulling the crushed thorns from her fingertips. \"A variety of reasons. By hinging our fate to your ability to succeed, they ensured your cooperation. Bronwyn,\" He took a deep breath, \"We were not supposed to return so soon. Man was supposed to step over that final boundary.\"

\"But, they would have nearly annihilated themselves! Elrond\'s children would have been eradicated - wiped from the face of the Earth!\"

The pity and sorrow on Haldir\'s face was etched deep and he shook his head. \"You have only put it off several millennia...\"

\"What?\"

\"You heard me. That war must be fought and it will now be worse.\"

Bronwyn was floored. \"What was I supposed to do? Let them die? The Wizards are Elrond\'s legacy! I could not do that to him! Not after all he has been through!\"

They came around the path and Haldir led her to the gazebo. As they sat down, he pulled her knees so they faced him and he took her hands. \"Baraermin. I do not believe the Valar planned on Elrond\'s sons to stay behind and be so... fruitful.\"

\"Oh, aye and why not? They are the Valar! All knowing and all that rot!\"

\"Nay! Free will. They have given all their children free will. And had they been all-knowing, they would have foreseen the mischief Melkor planned stealing the Silmarils with Ungoliant. They would have seen the kin-slaying and the flight of the Noldor. They would have foreseen Sauron and the One Ring. Ah, Baraermin!\" he sighed heavily and pulled her close. \"No one, not even the Valar, know all. Free will. I think that was why they allowed you to see Elrond\'s children, what was in store for them if the Elves did not intervene sooner. They knew you would go to Gandalf and Celeborn and plead for earlier intervention.\"

Bronwyn tucked her head beneath his chin. \"Still, you should have told me, not left me in the dark!\"

\"Oh aye! And allowed you to bounce about freely, causing great mischief trying to protect me?\" She felt him shaking with laughter,. \"Oh, Bronwyn the Brave, you slay me with your assumptions!\"

She jerked her head back from him, to scowl in the shadows.\"I\'m not defenseless or useless! How dare you laugh at me?\" Haldir continued to chuckle deeply. \"You neithadol! Had you told me, maybe we wouldn\'t be in this situation!\"

Haldir\'s laughter came to an abrupt end and he looked at her seriously. \"Nay. This path we are on was ordained the second you stepped ashore upon our return to this new world of Man. Nothing could stop it and I felt it deep within.\" He held her hands and pressed his forehead to hers. \"Make no mistake, I hate the position you are in. I hate that he is of importance to you. But I would not have you alone. Or cold. Or unprotected.\" The pale light in the gazebo grew darker and Haldir looked up sadly. \"Our time grows short... shh.\" He laid his fingers across her lips. \"I have need to say much and very little time in which to say it. The Wizard is there to aid you, protect you. He might not like it, but he will do it or I shall make his life shorter and hell on Earth. When you have no one, speak to Amadeus. You are not alone. Ever. However,\" and with this, he grimaced, \"I suggest you either allow him to roam the castle or send him to the Werewolf when you and the Wizard are... alone.\"

\"Amadeus doesn\'t like Severus very much, but sometimes...\"

\"Amadeus has your best inter at at heart. He barely tolerates the Wizard, but there are times the Wizard\'s logic is sounder than yours.\" He took her slaps to his arm good-naturedly. The sky continued to darken and he pulled her into his arms. \"You are being called. Our time grows exceedingly short. I do not know when or if we will be allowed such time again.\" His embrace loosened as he reached under and tipped her chin up. \"I love you, m\'aelamin. Do not ever doubt that. No matter what, I am bound to you and await your return.\"

\"I love you too.\" she murmured. \"No clues on the bow?\"

\"None. Sorry.\"

\"Damn.\"

\"Our children...\"

\"Faeowynne and her sons are well. Duncan. I don\'t know if Duncan understands.\"

\"He understands more than you know. He is fine. Elrond\'s sons live...\"

\"Yes, I know.\"

\"Get out your high heeled shoes, Baraermin. So does Thranduil.\"

\"Lovely. I was afraid of that.\"

Haldir smiled sadly. \"I miss you. I count the seconds until you are back where you belong.\" He lowered his mouth and kissed her.

As she leaned into his arms and surrendered to him, the sky turned black and she fell...

Bronwyn?... Bronwyn?...

***

Forever may not be long enough for you to know
Just how far I\'d travel, just how far I would go
Open your heart and everything will be alright


Forever may not be long enough
Live

***


\"Bronwyn? Bronwyn? Wake up.\"

She was being shaken gently and she opened her eyes to Remus\' concerned face.

\"Bronwyn? Are you all right?\"

She blinked, shaking away the vestiges of the dream. \"I\'m... I\'m fine.\" She sat up too quickly, causing the room to spin.

\"Whoa now.\" Remus reached out to steady her. \"Would you like some chocolate?\"

Bronwyn began to laugh. \"Ah, no. No dark magic here. Just...dreaming.\"

\"Good ones, I hope?\" the Werewolf sat down next to her, reaching into his pocket. \"Take the chocolate anyway.\" He shoved a large piece into her hand. He motioned to the wolf sitting at her feet. \"Amadeus was most reluctant to allow me to wake you.\"

At the mention of his name, Amadeus whined and placed his head in her lap, eyeing her dolefully.

\"I was dreaming of Haldir.\" Bronwyn whispered, stroking the beast\'s head. \"It was a conversation we should have had a long time ago.\"

It was quiet for several moments. \"Do you need to talk about it?\" Remus asked gently.

\"I don\'t know if it would make sense.\" She propped her elbows on her knees and rubbed her face with her hands. \"What time is it?\"

\"I came to get you for lunch. I think perhaps having Bobbin bring something here would be better.\"

\"Oh, yes. That would be good.\" Bronwyn sounded as if every word was wrung out like an almost dry dishcloth. \"Uhm... thanks for keeping Amadeus last night. I don\'t think he would have been very happy here last night.\"

\"Not a problem.\" Remus quietly responded. \"I don\'t wish to pry, but it looks as if you might be wishing last night hadn\'t happened.\" Bronwyn shook her head, but whether she was agreeing or not, he couldn\'t tell. \"Severus didn\'t ... hurt you in way-\"

\"No. No. It\'s not that at all. He didn\'t do anything I didn\'t want... at the time.\" she finally threw her hands down to dangle below her knees. \"Bobbin!\"

The house elf appeared before her in a flash of dust. \"Yes, Missy Bronwyn?\"

\"Lunch, here please, for me and Professor Lupin. Don\'t knock yourself out, just whatever is in the kitchens.\" The elf nodded. \"And something for Amadeus, too.\" With a snap of long fingers, the elf disappeared. \"You don\'t have to listen to this.\"

Remus reached over and grasped her hand. \"You need to talk. I\'m good at listening. So. Talk.\"

Bronwyn looked up, as if searching her ceiling for the answers to her questions. She didn\'t want to unload on her still budding friendship with the Werewolf, but Celeborn was not here, and in truth, she felt as comfortable with Remus as she did with Celeborn or Rumil. \"So confusing. Haldir and I had the best marriage... not perfect, we could argue over the stupidest things. And did.\" Remus looked down at the wolf, who was silently agreeing with her. \"But our relationship was so tight. I cannot imagine ever wanting anyone else in my bed.\"

\"But it has happened.\" It was a statement of fact.

\"Yes. It has happened. And it wasn\'t just good, it was awesome. Severus was... thorough. He was as attentive to my needs as to his own. I didn\'t expect... hell, I don\'t know what I expected, but I didn\'t expect him to be... I didn\'t expect to enjoy it so much.\" Her hands moved to the head of the wolf in her lap. \"But then, he goes and he just ruins the moment by opening his mouth...\"

\"And saying something so totally wrong and not understanding how he possibly put his foot in his mouth.\"

Bronwyn looked at him in disbelief. \"That\'s right. He told me he understood that I couldn\'t possibly care for him, that I loved Haldir and that was all right. He didn\'t mind me using him for purely physical relief.\"

Remus cringed. Even Amadeus flinched.

\"He couldn\'t understand why it upset me so much! To make matters worse, I kicked him out of the bed and lit into him like... well, I was angry to say the least.\"

There was a pop in the kitchen and a small voice called out. \"Bobbin has left fresh sandwiches and cranberry juice for professors. Would they... aaaaiiii!\" Stomping up and down could be heard. \"Missy Bronwyn? Bobbin is wondering if Missy Bronwyn would be knowing that there are buttons all over her kitchen floor?\"

She blushed at Remus\' smirk. \"Yes Bobbin. I dropped something. Watch out for the broken glass as well.\" She ignored Remus\' thumbs up and his mouthing ‘you go, girl!\' They watched patiently while the house elf brought a tray into the sitting area. \"I will be bringing it in here. I would not be wanting Missy Bronwyn and her guest to be falling on buttons or stepping on glass.\" He set a big bowl on the floor. \"Bobbin found nice roast beef for Missy\'s wolf. Bobbin knows how much Missy Bronwyn\'s wolf likes nice roast beef.\" Amadeus nosed the elf appreciatively before sitting before the bowl.

They waited for the elf to finish his bows and such, not resuming the conversation until he left.

\"Glass on the floor?\"

\"It was in the way.\" Bronwyn looked at her sandwich with much interest, before biting into it.

\"Buttons on the floor... Severus\' buttons?\"

She peered at him from the side, mouth full. \"You want a blow by blow?\"

\"No!\" He picked up his own sandwich. \"So you kicked him out of bed and you have been fuming all night.\"

\"No. Not quite.\" she wiped a bit of mayonnaise from her lip. \"Between me ranting and his defence of himself, I got the strange impression that he was trying to let me off the hook, so to speak.\" She finished the sandwich and licked her fingers in a rather unladylike manner. \"Either that, or he was trying to protect himself. Regardless, we fussed it out and he... well he spent the night with me.\"

She looked back over the pile of sandwiches, fingers flickering while she chose. Finding one to her liking, she snatched it greedily before continuing. \"This morning could have been wonderful; however we received a rather rude wake up call when Lucius Malfoy and his hatchling showed up at my door wanting a hangover potion.\" Bronwyn took a vicious bite from her sandwich, chewing it thoroughly before swallowing. \"How they guessed Severus was here is beyond me.\"

\"Oh,\" Remus mused, \"I don\'t think it was a rough stretch.\"

\"Well, me in my bathrobe and Severus barely put together didn\'t leave a lot to question.\" She finished the sandwich and picked up her glass. \"I don\'t think I left much room for speculation about of our evening when I tucked myself under Severus\' arm and smarted off to Malfoy Senior.\"

Even Amadeus strangled with that admission.

When Remus regained his composure, he murmured, \"So that is how everyone knows the two of you are, er, a couple.\"

Bronwyn\'s full hands reached out, questioning. \"A couple. One night and we are ‘a couple\'. How did this happen? Am I ready to be ‘a couple\'? Is he? I know nothing about him! I take that back. I know he is a snarky, greasy, crabby git. He is insensitive, arrogant, self-centered... intelligent, smarter than me...\"

\"You are sloshing your cranberry juice.\"

She glared at him for a second. \"Smart ass. Do you want me to finish this before the Quidditch match or not?\"

Remus held is hands up. \"It was just an observation. Please continue. Severus left this morning with the Malfoys in tow and what happened then?\"

Bronwyn set her glass down on the coffee table. \"What happened then? It hit me. Hit me what I had done. Hit me that I had slept with another man. Hit me that I had dishonored my wedding vows. Hit me that I gave that Wizard every reason to believe that he could... I could...\" Remus watched her struggle for words, \"that it was possible for me to love him.\" She reached for an apple slice from the tray and bit into it angrily. \"And it scares me that it may be possible. How can I love him and Haldir? They are so alike, yet so different!\"

\"Don\'t compare them.\"

She threw the partially eaten apple slice into the fireplace. \"Don\'t compare them! I can\'t! I won\'t! I do!\" Her hand clenched into a white knuckled fist and she shook it at no one in particular. \"I\'m confused. I\'m hurt. I want my life... the talk with Haldir did not help. It did. It didn\'t.\" Again, she beseeched the ceiling. \"So confused.\"

Remus stood up and went into the kitchen, watching carefully for the buttons. She heard her refrigerator open and the cabinet door open and shut. He returned with a glass of wine and pressed it in her hand. \"Drink it. One glass will not bother you. What did Haldir say?\"

She stared at the beverage thrust into her hands. \"He said he loved me. He said he didn\'t blame me. He blamed himself, Severus, the Valar. But I was to live my life to the fullest and know that if I was able to retrieve my bow, I would be returned to him. He does not want me alone, cold, or unprotected and somehow with Severus, he thinks I won\'t be.\" She took an overly large gulp of the wine and stared balefully at the Werewolf. \"Severus Snape can be as cold as a winter storm from Angmar. How I am to find warmth in his embrace is beyond me.\" She finished the drink before slamming the glass down. \"Yet despite the comment, he is capable of lighting the furnaces of Hades.\"

It was silent in the chambers as the two took in the levity of her words. \"So, Haldir\'s advice was to live your life...\"

\"But, I\'m still confused. All right. Let\'s think for one moment, best case scenario. We find my bow; we defeat the brat that stole it in the first place. Eventually, the descendant now meant to have it comes along. I have to raise and train that child. So I\'m here for a while. I know that. Severus and I have a nice life. We have two point five Snape-lets, life is nice and divine and he learns to live with my idiosyncracies, and I learn to live with his. What happens? I grow old, he grows old and we die. I am returned to Haldir and we go on pretending the last fifty years never happened and we wait for the whole thing to go again.\" She closed her eyes and sighed. \"What about Severus? What happens to him?\"

Remus picked up the now empty tray and glass and stood slowly. \"I have no answer to that, Bronwyn. Perhaps, you should let the Valar deal with it. It\'s their concern.\"

\"Well, now it is my concern! I think it\'s unfair as hell! He deserves someone who can love him unconditionally. Someone with whom he can look forward to beyond and in his next life.\"

Remus took the tray into the kitchen and returned to stand in front of the fireplace. \"And what is keeping you from loving him unconditionally? The limits and conditions on this relationship are the ones you are placing on it!\"

Bronwyn unfolded her legs and stood up slowly, not noticing Amadeus watching her every move with interest. \"Excuse me, Remus. I am rather taken.\" She pulled her mithril chain with her wedding rings from under her shirt. \"These were given to me in the belief that we were bound forever. I don\'t take that lightly.\"

Remus rubbed his nose, before crossing the short space and taking her hands in his. \"What did Haldir say about all this?\" He watched as she lowered her eyes in shame.

\"Truthfully, he asked me if my heart was so small.\"

\"And is it?\"

\"No.\" she muttered peevishly. \"He also said he needed me.\"

The Wizard seemed mildly shocked at that revelation.

\"He said that? That Severus needed you?\"

Bronwyn carefully tucked the rings back down into her shirt. \"What do you know of Severus? His family? His parents?\"

\"I have seen more threadbare children in my time here at Hogwarts. I don\'t think there was a lot of money in the family. They never came to functions. It\'s my understanding that his father is dead. I think his mother might still be alive. I have heard nothing of her though.\" He reflected for a moment before asking, \"What did Haldir show you?\"

\"This and that. I saw two boys on the train. They called him ‘Snivellus\'. Bullies. I suppose they were Sirius Black and Harry\'s father.\"

\"That would be James, yes.\" Remus confirmed. \"They hated Severus from the start. But understand, Severus could dish it out as well he took it. He knew more hexes and curses when he came to school than anyone. You watched your back around him, as no one wanted to be on the wrong end of Severus Snape\'s wand. Merlin knows, it was the last thing that Voldemort ever considered.\"

Bronwyn looked at him curiously. \"What does Severus\' wand have to do with Voldemort?\"

Remus stroked an errant curl and pushed it behind her shoulder. \"You did not hear this from me. Do you want to know what kind of Wizard Severus Snape is, deep down?\"

\"Uhm... snarky, nasty, mean-tempered...\"

\"Yes, he is those things. Dumbledore once told Harry that old hurts run deep. Snape carries grudges; deep, binding grudges. It has only been in recent months that he can bear to be in my presence, speak to me without sneering too terribly much. I don\'t blame him a bit.\"

\"Are you going to tell me or not?\" she chided him.

\"Look, as far as anyone knows, only Harry and Severus know this. I helped Harry deal with what happened. I helped him put things in his pensieve after it happened, so I saw things.\" Remus paused as if to gather his thoughts. \"What do you know about a Wizard\'s wand?\"

Bronwyn made a moue. \"It\'s made of wood and it zaps things.\" Duh!

\"That is a very simple way of looking at it, but it\'s not fully correct.\" Remus chided back. \"True, it is made of wood; different types of woods, different thicknesses, different lengths. The heart, or the core however, is what makes a wand special; makes it magical. The hair of a unicorn, heart string from a dragon, various things. Some are better for charm work, others for transfigurations. The most powerful wands have a core made of phoenix tail feathers. They are harder to come by than unicorn hair.\"

\"I would think the unicorn is quite rare.\" \"O \"Oh, they are.\" Remus agreed, \"However, the phoenix is a rarer creature and they would as soon peck your eyes out than allow you to pluck their plumage.\" he grinned, \"Regardless, wands made of the same core from the same source, will not work against each other. They counter - balance each other.\" Remus turned around to stare at the objects on Bronwyn\'s mantle. He allowed his finger to caress the ridges and keys of the concert flute laying in the front. \"During Harry\'s fourth year, he tangled with Voldemort and because his and Voldemort\'s wands were cored with tail feathers from the same phoenix, their wands were fairly useless against each other.\" His hand moved from the flute, to the picture of a small child.

\"Voldemort had managed to get to the Astrology Tower and Death Eaters were going through the castle. The younger children had been spirited off the grounds and Apparated to a safe place, but the older ones stayed and aided in the fight. Too many switched sides straightaway, fought for Voldemort. I watched Bill Weasley go down, defending Ginny. She doesn\'t know. I saw Percy Weasley go down as well, trying to defend Cornelius Fudge, of all people. Pompous ass stood there and swore he could negotiate peace.\" Names rattled from his mouth, some last names she recognized, most she didn\'t. Fingers flowed over the objects on her mantle; the harp, finally resting on the decrepit ears of a ragged teddy bear.

\"I was with Harry, as was Hermione. Ron was fielding attacks from several young Death Eaters. Have you seen that boy play chess? Amazing strategist, Ronald Weasley. Set up most of the defenses we used here in the castle on his own. Harry and I started up the stairs to the Astrology Tower, leaving Hermione and Neville to guard and defend the stairs.\"

There was a pause and Bronwyn swore she heard him gathering his thoughts. \"Severus met us on the landing in his Death Eater Robes. Deep down, Harry and I didn\'t know if he was truly a spy for us or Voldemort. But he threw off his robes and handed Harry his wand.\"

Remus had now folded his hands in front of his face, his nose buried between the palms, causing his voice to echo. \"I watched Severus Snape kill two of his own house; Marcus Flint and Blaise Zambini. Blaise was well hidden, had half the killing curse out of his mouth when Snape beat him to the draw.\" Remus now moved over to Bronwyn. \"I stayed on the landing, while Severus and Harry entered the Astrology Tower, Voldemort was there with two Death Eaters - Crabbe and Goyle Seniors. I would have sworn Malfoy was there, but somehow...\" His voice trailed off for a moment before he started again. \"Voldemort realized immediately that Severus had turned on him, was spying for the Order. Harry saw Crabbe point his wand, but he used a repelling spell and Crabbe fell over the broken wall to his death. Harry then Stupefied Goyle, while Severus circled with Voldemort. Voldemort had planned to use Legilimency to drive Harry insane with rage, twisting his parents\' death, but he was incensed when he saw Severus there. He brandished his wand at Snape, not realizing that Severus had the means to halt him by using Harry\'s wand. It was during that time that Harry killed Voldemort.\"

Bronwyn was horrified at the matter - of - fact - tone Remus used. \"So Harry killed the Dark Lord with Severus\' wand.\"

\"Given to him freely by Severus.\" He smiled slightly. \"Bronwyn, a wizard cannot just pick up another wizard\'s wand and use it easily. It takes a great deal of concentration and practice, unless... Severus was not expecting to survive this battle; he didn\'t expect to come out of that tower alive. He owed Harry\'s father a Wizard\'s life debt and he wished to die without that debt on his conscious. By giving Harry his wand, freely, he cleared his debt; it became Harry\'s wand.\" Remus gave a small chuckle. \"I daresay Harry could still use it, if he could pry it from Severus\' grasp!\" The Wizard buried his face in his hands and rubbed his eyes. \"Bronwyn, what does that tell you about Severus?\"

Bronwyn was silent. \"How accurate are your facts?\"

\"As accurate as can be, I suppose. I did help Harry sort through them.\" He gazed clearly into her yes. \"What does that tell you about Severus?\" he repeated.

She smiled, and going to her closet, proceeded to pull out her heavy coat and gloves. \"It tells me that Severus Snape is willing to do anything to see something through to completion. Despite his faults, which are many, he is honorable, conscientious, willing to do what needs to be done, even if it\'s abhorrent to him, and will put himself in harm\'s way without thought to himself.\" She tossed the dark green wool hooded coat and a grey scarf on the couch. \"You are making it very difficult for me for dislike him. Or walk away.\" She began to pull on grey gloves.

She didn\'t realize Remus was looking at Amadeus. \"I\'m simply letting you know that you are in good hands with him. The Valar were not so far off as you would like to think.\" He picked up the coat and held it out to her, aiding her in putting it on. \"Despite all of his shortcomings and the fact that he is a solitary man, he will see to it that you complete your task.\" She pulled the coat closed and he whispered in her ear. \"I know, I know too much, but your secret is safe with me!\" He spun her around and lifted the scarf. \"I take it you are cheering for Slytherin?\"

\"Well, I am affiliated with the house.\"

\"Pity. They are going to get their arses kicked!\"

She smirked at him and looked down at Amadeus. \"Are you coming?\"

Amadeus answered by lying down in front of the couch and putting his paws over his nose. The expression on his face made his thoughts clear.

Not if you are sitting with That Wizard!

Bronwyn left with Remus, not noticing the crushed mallorn leaf tucked in the crevice of the couch.

***

The Rowdies run here, the Rowdies run there
They kick the ball around
The Rowdies run here, the Rowdies run there
Then they fall on the ground
Oh the Rowdies, the Rowdies
The Rowdies are
A Kick in the Grass!

The Tampa Bay Rowdy Song

***

Despite the heavy layers of clothing, Bronwyn still felt the wind cut through, chilling her body in a manner she could not remember from winters in the past. The howling of the gale ripped and tugged at her and despite her determination not to get too close, and still feeling remorse for her welcomed seduction the previous evening, she soon found herself pressed against Snape\'s side, unconsciously trying to worm her way under his coat as well.

A foul - mouthed, carping ball zipped past her.

\"Bludger,\" she muttered.

\"You are a quick learner.\" Snape answered. He pointed in the opposite direction. \"There is the other one.\" They both watched as the second bludger came close to knocking Ronald Weasley through the Quaffle Rings.

Slytherin was ahead.

By no less than thirty...

...a cheer rose in the Slytherin stands...

Ding.

Forty points.

\"Ron\'s having a rough time.\" Bronwyn noted out-loud. \"The wind must be causing havoc with him.\"

\"The wind can cause all the havoc it wants to with him. Notice, it is not bothering Harker a bit.\" True enough, the Slytherin Keeper, fifth year Rodney Harker, had gracefully battered away every Quaffle tossed in his direction. He made it look too easy.

\"Duck.\"

Snape pushed her head into his lap as he leaned backwards. The Bludger swooped by with a screech, missing Snape\'s nose by scant millimeters and Bronwyn, trying to keep from thinking that this was now twice in less than twenty four hours that her head had been in the man\'s crotch, used the down time as an excuse to pull the Wizard\'s outer coat open and tuck herself in. Snape was aware she had done it and was aware why she had. He was certain that Malfoy would say something about it before he left.

More than likely, Dumbledore would too.

\"Bronwyn, do you think it prudent to be so obvious?\" he asked icily. He made no move to remove her from under his coat.

\"Obvious about what? It\'s cold!\"

\"I told you to wear something warm.\"

\"I am wearing something warm.\"

\"I meant something besides me!\"

Ding.

Fifty points for Slytherin.

\"Back.\"

Both of them leaned back as another bludger raced past.

\"Why is Draco just... sitting up there?\" Bronwyn eyed the blonde Slytherin, poised gracefully high above the arena.

\"He is looking for the Snitch.\" Severus pointed a little ways. \"There is Potter. He is looking for it as well.\"

\"That\'s the little gold ball with the wings like a hummingbird?\"

\"Yes.\" Severus was watching a particularly vicious battle between two Gryffindors and a Slytherin, who had the Quaffle. The Slytherin made it out in one piece, but dropped the ball. Gryffindor was on the run, racing to the opposing side.

\"It looks like this?\" Severus jerked his head, to see her pointing to the Golden Snitch sitting within a few inches of her nose. \"If I grab it, is the game over?\"

\"Do. Not. Touch. It.\"

Ding.

Ten points for Gryffindor.

Bronwyn watched the Snitch, hovering so slightly in front of her.

\"Bronwyn...\"

\"Is it quiet? Or can I just not hear anything over the wind?\"

\"It makes a whirring sound, but not much. More of a buzz. Bronwyn...\"

\"Oh, it looks as if Harry has seen it. Here he comes. And here comes Dra... OOOPH!\"

Severus grabbed her and shoved her to floor of the stadium, throwing himself atop her. They were joined by several others around them - Malfoy Sr., Flitwick, and a few others that Bronwyn didn\'t get a chance to make note of. The whoosh of two brooms whipped overhead and she was unsure if the wind ruffling through her hair was the gale or the fact that the two Seekers had just passed just overhead at a furious pace. A quick splash of cursing between the two rival teammates was audible as was the furious bumping between the two.

Ding.

Ten more points for Gryffindor.

Severus helped her back into her seat while all watched the two adversaries battle it out in the air before both lost sight of the snitch.

\"Dangerous game, this.\" Bronwyn mumbled. \"Not only to the players, but to the bystanders as well.\"

\"Sometimes.\"

Play went on for another hour. More than once, Bronwyn was forced to duck, feint, hit the floor. \"I think you are enjoying this!\" she whined at Severus after one particular rough toss.

\"Why ever would you think that?\" Severus\' voice carried on the wind and his eyes were fixed to the Slytherin Keeper who was now having equal problems guarding his rings as Weasley had guarding his. The quaffle was being tossed liberally back and forth, the biting wind causing havoc with player and spectator alike.

After two hours of play, the two teams were tied. Exhaustion was setting in as the quaffle was being dropped more than usual and the bludgers had managed to knock the youngest Creevy from his broom, as well as spin Draco for several loops.

But for now, Draco was sitting idly, looking as if he was cleaning his nails, totally uninterested in the goings on.

\"There are too many balls to watch!\" Bronwyn complained.

\"Too much for your meager attention span to deal with?\" Severus goaded.

Malfoy Senior snickered to himself.

Bronwyn scowled at the surly professor. \"Just because balls are easier to manipulate when they are... closer together....\"

\"Touche.\" A voice behind them - Remus? - whispered.

Draco\'s hands tightened on his broom handle, his attention riveted...

Harry\'s muscles tensed, his interest fastened to the same area behind the Slytherin rings...

They took off at the same time.

Ding.

Ten points to Gryffindor.

The two Seekers were side by side, elbowing, shoving, the sounds of their bodies crashing together drowned out by the wind.

It had begun to snow, big flakes drifting, corkscrewing in the wind.

The Quaffle was being tossed around again in front of the Slytherin rings.

The two Seekers plunged into nose dives, Harry just an inch in front of Draco, hand stretched out to grasp...

Two brooms racing towards destiny...

Racing towards the Ravenclaw Tower...

\"Uhm, Severus... Do you think they know they are getting ready to crash?\"

\"Silence. Watch carefully.\" Snape was thoroughly engrossed. Twitters of concern were starting to be heard all around them.

Bronwyn could not take this sitting down. She shot to her feet, throwing off Severus\' warm coat.

\"DRACO! You bloody ar... arrogant butthead! Pull left!\"

With a second to spare, Draco went left.

Harry went right.

They met up behind the tower and nosed straight up.

Ding.

Ten points for Gryffindor.

\"Getitgetitgetit!\" Bronwyn\'s hair and coat were covered in wet, white globs and her fists punctuated each ‘g\' she spat out. She was bouncing on her toes, eyes riveted to the battle ensuing at the end of the field. She was yanked into her seat by an irate Potions Master.

\"Do you mind?\"

She scowled, fires being banked...

\"I should take you to a Muggle football game this summer, Severus. Preferable one between darby teams!\"

\"If I let you live.\" Severus mumbled.

\"Oh, leave her alone, Severus.\" Lucius leaned over and whispered in Snape\'s ear. \"Now, I see why you are so attracted to her. All that energy...\" He grinned rakishly before returning to his original sitting position.

Ding.

Ten points to Slytherin.

The two Seekers were now exactly side by side following the Snitch alongside the inner walls of the stadium...

Down in the dregs...

Up...

Over one of the Gryffindor beaters...

Around Slytherin\'s rings...

Bronwyn was back on her feet.

\"Gogogogogogogogo...\"

Both seekers were neck and neck... reaching.... reaching...

Bronwyn was no longer standing alone.

An angry gust whipped both seekers around, both losing control and falling... falling to the dirt floor of the pitch, landing together, entangled at the base of the Slytherin rings.

They jerked one another to their feet, fists, punches flying, until Madam Hooch dropped to the ground and pulled the two apart.

Draco smiled.

And held up the Snitch.

***
TBC
***

M\'aelamin - my love

Din - Silence

Angmar - Realm of the WitchKing of Middle Earth, King of the Nazgul. Was north and very cold. Like - Antarctic!

Ungolaith - meaning Gloom weaver. Mother of Shelob and other nasty creatures. Had the form of a giant spider. Aided Melkor in the stealing of the Simirils, causing one of the bloodiest civil wars in Elven History.

Football - not American football, but that which we American\'s call soccer. The Rowdy Song was the Tampa Bay Rowdy Fight Song.

Darby teams - two soccer teams based in the same city, that are in the same league. Usually, ugly, bloody affairs between fans. Tends to have the most intense rivalries. Not something you want to take the kids to!