Triumph Out of the Bitter Taste of Ashes

A Long chapter to make up for my long absence. : ) Hope you enjoy it! Many thanks go out to the reviewers of the last chapter, and to those who emailed me, hoping I was doing alright. They were muchly appreciated!


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Chapter Twenty Two
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Patiently, but far from calm, Draco shifted his weight nervously from foot to foot while awaiting the arrival of the Hogwarts Express. He was having some rather *serious* second thoughts about how good an idea it was to spend the last two weeks of winter break at the burrow -- not that he\'d *ever* thought it was actually a *good* idea. If it hadn\'t been for Professor Snape\'s bloody winter break assignment, he wouldn\'t be going in the first place.

He shifted his gaze to include Ron Wea, ta, talking animatedly with Harry Bloody Potter. The Gryffindor had been withdrawn and quiet for so long this year that it seemed almost strange to see the dark-haired git smiling and babbling happily with Ron. Standing here now, listening to the two of them talk, Draco felt distinctly like an outsider looking in -- a sensation he used to be used to. Now, though, it left him feeling quite discontent.

And that was another thing. What the hell was happening between him and Ron Weasley anyway? That wasn\'t something he liked to think about most of the time, mainly because it didn\'t make any sense to him. That day by the lake had been unexpected, wholely unplanned, and had left him confused.

He wasn\'t attracted to guys, never had been. Hell, it wasn\'t even something he was comfortable with in other people. Something in a long list of things, he mused uncomfortably. Unfortunately, this wasn\'t exactly a new topic of thought for him recently, despite everything else he\'d had to contend with. It just wasn\'t one he\'d been willing to dwell on for long. In fact, he didn\'t want to think about it at all.

Nothing like that day at the lake had ever happened again, which was something that raised very mixed feelings. Mostly he was glad. As a one off, he could put it down to the incredible stress of the day and forget it ever happened. Unfortunately, not all of him felt the same way. Part of him was disappointed that it hadn\'t happened again, very disappointed. He could mostly shove that part of himself down what with everything else, but sometimes, like right now, it would spring up and take him by surprise.

He almost growled. Most of the time, it seemed as though Ron -- shockingly enough -- was becoming the first true friend Draco had ever had. Sometimes, though, when Ron moved just right, or when their eyes met for just a little too long during a lull in conversation, Draco\'s gut twisted, and his heart sped up.

Those were things he associated with pretty girls, not with freckle faced boys. He was losing his mind, that\'s all there was to it. This year had just been too much for him.

\"Ron,\" he began hesitantly -- **Get a grip! You\'re a Malfoy!** -- \"maybe this isn\'t such a good idea.\"

Ron broke off mid-sentence and turned toward him, looking very puzzled.

It didn\'t help Draco\'s presence of mind that Harry\'s rather intense gaze was also now locked on him.

\"What isn\'t?\" Ron asked, frowning slightly.

Resolutely ignoring Potter, Draco spoke only to Ron. \"Me, going to your place. It--\"

\"Chickening out, Malfoy?\" Potter chimed in.

\"Of course not!\" Draco snapped angrily, snapping his head around to glare at the interfering busybody.

Potter shrugged, smirking. \"Seems like it to me, but then, I always knew Slytherin\'s were cowards.\"

Hands automatically clenching into fists, Draco forced himself not to react to the taunt. It wasn\'t easy, though, he hadn\'t exactly spent much of his time honing his ability to take insults. As a Malfoy it wasn\'t something he\'d ever had to put up with -- at least not silently.

\"We can finish working on the project via owl,\" he continued, still maintaining his front of ignoring Potter. \"It\'ll be a little more difficult, but we can do it.\" Draco frowned when Ron just kept staring at him, not answering. He fought against fidgeting under the odd stare.

\"Are you finished?\" Ron asked, folding his arms across his chest.

Draco\'s frown deepened. \"Yes,\" he drawled sarcastically. \"I stopped speaking didn\'t I?\"

Ron snorted, shaking his head. \"That doesn\'t necessarily mean anything with you -- Hermione, either, for that matter.\"

Draco glared. The red-headed prat had taken to comparing the oddest things about him to *Granger*, and it was thoroughly irksome. It wasn\'t as if Draco thoughts didn\'t dwell on the bushy-haired witch all too often as of late without Ron\'s asinine comparisons. \"Your point?\" he demanded snidely, not even wanting to rehash *that* old argument.

Potter laughed, but Draco ignored the outburst -- well, mostly.

\"You\'re not getting out of this, Draco,\" Ron told him pointedly. \"We can\'t finish it in time by owl, and you know it; it\'s much too complicated for that -- even if we don\'t have *that* much left to do. So, why don\'t you tell me what\'s really bothering you?\"

Draco sighed. He did know it, and that was the problem, because it meant he had to go -- whether he felt comfortable with it or not. He swallowed and nodded, his lips twisting up into a rough imitation of his usual smirk. \"Fine,\" he replied, \"I\'ll go.\"

\"Oh, goody,\" Potter drawled.

\"Would you two stop it!\" Ron snapped, glaring at both of them equally. \"I hate it that you two keep putting me in the middle!\"

Despite his unease, Draco felt the corners of his mouth twitch upward. \"Kinky!\" he retorted before his mind could engage. **When will I learn to keep my mouth shut!** he whined silently. He *so* did not want Ron reminded of certain . . . events. No, he really did not.

\"Ewwwww!\" Potter retorted with a dramatic shudder. \"In your dreams, Malfoy!\"

**Oh, yeah.** Draco\'s jaw dropped, not at Potter\'s pathetic attempt at humor, but at his own thought. **Since when?**

Ron, on the other hand, rolled his eyes, and smacked the both of them.

The double, indignant, \'hey!\', from him and Potter sounded at the same time and had them both instantly back to glaring at each other. He still felt like launching himself at Potter half the time -- that or hexing him until he couldn\'t stand. Unfortunately, that would be a quick way to lose Ron\'s friendship.

//And why do you care so much about that? Hmmm?//

**Sod off!**

Ron laughed, the sound coinciding with the train\'s whistle. Swinging an arm across Draco\'s shoulder, and subsequently one around Potter\'s, Ron pulled them in its direction. \"Come on you two. The train\'s here, and my mum\'s cooking is waiting for us.\"

Shrugging off Ron\'s arm, Draco strode forward, gut tingling, heart racing. **This can\'t be happening!** he thought fervently. **I did *not* just get excited by Ron *Weasley* touching me!** Struggling with his internal debate, Draco didn\'t see the confused, slightly hurt expression flitter across Ron\'s face, nor did he see the knowing smirk grow on Potter\'s.

**

It didn\'t take them long to get settled into an empty compartment. Draco, somehow the last one in, was surprised to discover that Ron and Potter had taken opposite sides. He hesitated only briefly before choosing to sit beside Ron. However confused he was, he wasn\'t going to let it make him sit beside Potter if he had any choice in the matter.

He made sure to sit as far away as the bench seat would allow, without it looking like he was doing just that. Unfortunately, the look Ron gave him made him think that maybe he hadn\'t been as subtle as he would have liked.

He sighed. Just his luck. That mystical thing called subtlety that his house was so renowned for, that *he* had gotten pretty good at, seemed to be a thing of the past. If he was going to survive this trip, his secret intact, he was going to have to work to get it back -- and *quick*. Somehow, he didn\'t think there would be much privacy at \'the burrow\' if Ron was right about *everyone* being there. In fact, Draco wasn\'t absolutely certain he\'d survive the experience -- two weeks surrounded by an entire *flock* of Weasleys. It was a rather frightening thought, actually.

Shaking himself out of his thoughts, Draco finally tuned into the conversation between Harry and Ron, though his eyes drifted -- of their own bloody volition straight to Ron Weasley.

\"So, everyone\'s going to be there, then?\" Harry asked.

Ron nodded, grinning. \"It\'s going to be a madhouse, Harry.\"

Draco almost winced. He could picture it, actually. At minimum there were going to be the six Weasley brats, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Potter, and himself. From what he\'d heard, \'the burrow\' wasn\'t that big. They\'d be tripping all over each other.

\"Mum even nagged Percy into showing with Penelope.\"

Harry\'s eyes widened -- though, Draco didn\'t understand why that was so surprising to the Gryffindor. \" *Percy* is taking time off work?\" he exclaimed. \"The *whole* two weeks?\"

Chuckling, Ron shook his head. \"Nah. Not even Mum on a tear could get that much out of him. They\'re only going to be at the burrow for a week.\"

\"What about Bill? Is he bringing anyone?\"

Ron\'s grin morphed into a mischievous smirk, one that Draco wasn\'t quite sure how to take. He\'d never seen the red-head look that way before. \"Yeah, he is. Mum doesn\'t know though, so it\'s bound to be . . . um . . . interesting.\"

Draco snorted. \"Rude is more like it,\" he replied automatically. If *he* had decided to bring someone home without letting his parents know they were going ave ave guests, he\'d have heard about it for weeks afterward -- felt it too, for that matter. Suddenly finding himself the target of two puzzled stares, Draco shifted uncomfortably. \"It isn\'t good manners to bring someone home without notice,\" he explained stiffly.

\"Oh!\" Ron replied, shaking his head, that disconcerting smirk becoming more pronounced. \"She knows he\'s bringing someone.\"

Frowning, Draco glared. \"So what was all that, \'Mum, doesn\'t know,\' shite, then?\" he demanded.

Leaning closer, Ron dropped his voice to an amused whisper. \"She thinks he\'s bringing home a girlfriend,\" he confided.

Sighing, Draco forced himself not to back up. \"I take it she\'s not actually a girlfriend,\" he drawled. **What the bloody hell is so funny about that?**

\"She\'s not actually a *she*, Malfoy,\" Potter explained, laughing.

Darting a startled look at his one time nemesis, Draco\'s eyes widened as he jerked his head back to look to Ron for confirmation.

Ron nodded, laughing along with Potter. \"It\'s his way of coming clean, least that\'s what he claimed.\"

It took only a moment for everything to click into place, and Draco gasped, his jaw dropping. \"Well, that\'s just plain rude!\" he exclaimed before, in his shock, he could censor the words.

Both Potter and Ron gaped at him before breaking out into loud bursts of uncontrolled laughter.

\"What?\" he demanded disgruntled when the didn\'t quit after a full minute or more had passed.

\"S-Sorry,\" Ron stammered between rounds of laughter that had dissolved nearly to giggles.

Draco glared at him sourly.

\"I-It\'s just t-that . . u . u . . . talking about . . . being *rude*.\"

\"What do you mean?\" Draco demanded, his glare hardening. \"I am *very* well mannered!\"

That sent Potter off into another idiotic paroxysm of laughter.

Draco simply rolled his eyes and returned his attention back to Ron, who, to his surprise, was looking at him completely puzzled.

\"You call all those taunts and foul names, \'well mannered\'?\" he asked.

Draco started to huff up, but realized suddenly that Ron\'s question held not disdain, but honest curiosity. \"Of course not, but there is a big difference between how someone treats their adversaries and their families.\" He frowned. \"At least there *should* be.\"

\"T-thank you, Malfoy,\" Potter gasped, between great gulps of air as he tried to catch his breath.

Turning, surprised, toward Potter, Draco snorted. \"Just what for, may I ask?\" he retorted sourly. Being thanked by Potter was definitely a new experience, especially since he didn\'t know what the bloody hell it was for.

\"I needed that. I haven\'t had a good laugh since. .\. .\" his voice trailed off, his expression suddenly turning pensive, but both Draco and Ron knew exactly what he\'d referred to.

A shuddering sigh escaped him, but despit, it, he felt the corners of his mouth twitch upward. \"Yeah, well, just don\'t let it happen again,\" he retorted, wondering just when being laughed at had gone from being the worst thing that could happen to him, to something that made a tiny little spark of pleasure curl inside his chest. Odd that, really.

When Draco looked back at Ron, he was surprised to see an expression he couldn\'t quite decipher on the red-head\'s face. It was gone before he really had a chance to try, though, Ron quickly picking up the bookbag that held their project.

\"Maybe we should get some work done on this,\" Ron suggested.

\"What?\" Potter asked, eyebrow raised.

\"Well,\" Ron said, looking supremely uncomfortable, \"I just thought, get some of it out of the way.\"

Potter\'s jaw dropped, gobsmacked.

Draco chuckled at the expression, wishing only that he\'d been the one to induce it.

\"What?\" Ron exclaimed. \"That way there\'s less to do at home. I hate working on stuff there.\"

Then Potter laughed again, the sound of his voice mixing oddly with Draco\'s. \"Hermione would be proud, Ron,\" Potter said softly.

He didn\'t know why he\'d laughed. It hadn\'t been funny, really; rather Potter words sounded like Hermione was dead or something. That bothered him; though he wasn\'t any more sure of why that was either.

Ron blushed and shrugged. \"Except for the sete ete essays we each have to write, which aren\'t due until two weeks *after* school starts back up, we\'re almost done really.

\"Can I see it?\" Potter asked.

Ron looked up, startled. \"Sure,\" he replied with another shrug, handing Potter the unfinished report.

Draco grew bored as Potter read through it -- several times if Draco was any judge -- and turned his attention toward the window. Ron wasn\'t going to want to work on it right now, anyway. He was too busy getting antsy about Potter\'s reaction. As if the other Gryffindor\'s opinion actually mattered.

\"Okay,\" Potter said suddenly, \"I\'m not even going to try to pretend I understand most of it, but is it really as bad as it looks?\"

Draco jerked his attention from the window, nodding, his movement echoing Ron\'s.

\"Yeah,\" Ron replied aloud. \"The \'good\' numbers seem to cap out at 7 generations of no muggle influence. After that, dead babies, birth defects, lower number of pregnancies all start to rise.\"

Frowning, Potter actually looked thoughtful a moment before speaking. \"How many generations back can the Weasleys trace as pureblood?\" he asked.

Ron shifted uneasily. \"About 15 for sure, before that, no one knows.\"

\"Then how come your family doesn\'t seem affected by this?\"

\"Mum\'s had a lot of miscarriages,\" Ron murmured softly, his voice a touch hoarse. \"I didn\'t even know about \'em until we started digging for this report.\"

Potter winced. \"Ouch, sorry.\"

\"Yeah.\"

It had been quite a shock to Ron, which Draco hadn\'t really understood. He\'d known about his mother\'s miscarriages. Heard about them ad nauseum in rants about how lucky he should feel to be alive and who he was.

Potter looked at him then. \"The Malfoys?\" he asked.

Draco glared warily a moment before replying. \"Fifteen on record at the Ministry of Magic -- that\'s when automatic magical birth registration began -- and another 10 before that in the family records.\"

Potter whistled. \"That\'s quite a bit of ancestry.\"

Draco frowned, thinking back over the data he\'d researched. He didn\'t remember the Potter\'s information -- though he knew they were an old family. \"What about the Potter\'s?\" he asked suddenly. \"Before you, I mean. I know they\'re an old wizarding family. According to my father there was a big scandal when James Potter married your mother.\"

Potter shrugged. \"I don\'t know. I never have known much about my family. There\'s no one around to tell me.\"

\"Twelve generations,\" Ron said. \"Until your dad married your mum.\"

\"My dad was a 12th generation pureblood?\"

Ron nodded.

Draco tuned the two out. He wasn\'t comfortable at all with this report. While part of him wanted to deny the conclusions he couldn\'t help but form, the logical part of him knew they were true. Even without the blasted report he\'d known that true purebloods were in the vast minority these days.

Now, he was faced with the fact that even if he did find a pureblood witch to marry, they might not even be able to have an heir. If both sides of the equation were +10 generations pure, stillborns occurred more often than live babies, and of the ones that lived, birth defects cut down the number of acceptable heirs. And that was all assuming the couple could even conceive in the first place.

According to the records, at least 10% of the currently married purebloods hadn\'t been able to at all. He was tempted to just close his eyes and sleep. He really didn\'t want to think about this any more -- at least not today.

A hand on his shoulder startled Draco out of his thoughts. He jerked away from staring out the window to find Ron standing right next to him, looking at him worriedly. Casting a quick glance around the compartment, he was surprised to find it empty but for the two of them.

\"Where\'d Potter go?\"

Ron shrugged, sitting down right next to him. \"He said he needed to take a walk. You okay?\"

\"I\'m fine, Weasley,\" Draco replied with a sigh.

\"Good,\" Ron replied, letting his hand fall from Draco\'s shoulder, his fingertips, trailing down Draco\'s arm in the process. \"I wouldn\'t want all this to get you down.\"

Draco\'s breath hitched, his head jerking up as he locked gazes with Ron. Had it just gotten *awfully* warm in the compartment? Why was this happening? It shouldn\'t be. He was a Malfoy with a duty.

\"What are you doing?\" he asked, his voice no more than a startled whisper.

\"I don\'t know,\" Ron replied, leaning forward.

\"Oh,\" was Draco\'s intelligent response.

It all happened so slowly, it was like time itself had slowed down. So different from the lakeside, Draco felt he had an eternity to say or do something to break the atmosphere, to do something to stop it. He felt frozen in place, however, as Ronald Weasley leaned ever closer, finally capturing Draco\'s mouth with his own.

With a sigh that was almost a whimper, Draco eyes drifted shut and he returned the kiss, drawing Ron\'s lower lip between his, teasing it with the tip of his tongue. A quiet moan from Ron, followed by a slow assault with his tongue, had Draco opening his mouth further, inviting Ron to explore.

Heat raced through Draco, pooling low in his belly. **Merlin!** he thought as he shifted closer to Ron, his hands cupping Ron\'s face. A simple snog hadn\'t done this to him in years, not since the novelty had worn off. A little uncomfortable about what that implied, Draco pulled back, his breathing hard, his heart racing.

\"Merlin!\" Ron exclaimed, sounding just as affected as Draco.

One corner of Draco\'s mouth quirked upward. \"Just what I was thinking,\" he admitted quietly. **Now why did I admit that?** He shouldn\'t be admitting things like that. This, whatever it was, couldn\'t mean anything. Draco had duties, responsibilities. He couldn\'t let himself get caught up in it. It was wrong for him.

Ron was leaning back toward him, Draco, eyes hooded, licked his lips quickly, trying to force himself to stand up. He couldn\'t, though, and if he were being truly honest with himself, didn\'t really want to.

The compartment door flung open and Potter waltzed in. Startling the two of them apart and to their feet. Potter\'s eyes grew big enough to pop out of their sockets, his jaw dropping. He turned beet red and immediately started stammering.

\"I\'m s-sorry. I d-didn\'t expect--\" He snapped his mouth shut and started back out into the corridor. \"We\'re pulling into the station,\" he explained very quickly, \"thought you\'d want to know. Sorry.\" With that, he disappeared down the corridor.

Draco and Ron stood there in silence for all of about 5 seconds when both of them burst into idiotic giggles.

\"Well, I think we shocked the poor boy,\" Draco drawled.

Ron nodded. \"I\'d say so. But, um, unless we want to shock my family the same way, I suggest we get moving,\" he replied, already heading out the door.

\"By the way,\" Draco said, catching up to Ron quickly, \"the next time Snape asks us to do a report?\"

\"Yeah?\"

\"Let\'s tell him to go jump in the lake.\"

Ron laughed, eyes going wide as he shook his head fervently. \"You go right ahead,\" he retorted as the two of them made their way toward the exit. \"As a Slytherin, you\'ve got partial immunity. Me, on the other hand, I\'ll just run, thank you.\"

Draco grinned. \"And here I thought Gryffindors never ran,\" he teased, bracing himself against the wall as the train lurched to a halt.

\"That\'s just a myth,\" Ron replied with a crooked grin, his voice softening as he continued. \"There are a couple of things Gryffindors run from.\"

\"Yeah?\" Draco asked, his grin widening \"Like what?\"

\"Oh, Trelawney having one of her gory death visions.\"

Draco laughed. She was *famous* for those, especially in regard to one Harry Potter.

\"Peeves in a good mood.\"

Draco almost choked. *Everyone* ran from *that*.

\"Snape handing out extra assignments.\"

\"I was wondering when you\'d get to that,\" Draco retorted.

\"And last but *definitely* not least, my mum on a tear.\"

Draco couldn\'t help it. He laughed so hard tears sprang to his eyes. \"You\'re mother?\" he asked between fits.

Ron nodded seriously; though, his eyes danced mischievously. \"Anyone who\'s met her when she\'s mad.\"

\"You\'re *not* serious?\"

\"Yup, fraid so.\"


TBC
Kiristeen
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Kiristeen@kiristeen.com


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