Love is Blind

Chapter 21

Severus stood in the doorway of Hermione’s chambers, watching her sleep. Lunch had come and gone. Remus had told him that Hermione had gone to lie down. She had been so distant for the past couple of days and he missed her. Severus had given her space, he wasn’t sure what was going on, but idn’idn’t want to make her any angrier with him than he thought she was.

It all started the night he told her about the treatment for her eyes. He thought she would be happy about it, but it seemed that he was wrong. Over the past three days, they had worked together in the lab, and even sat in her chambers reading, but it seemed more tense, like there was something wrong between them. Severus didn’t remember doing anything that would particularly anger Hermione, but as hs a s a man, he guessed it didn’t take much for him to piss her off.

They had become so close. He loved being around her, working with her. No, not just working with her. He loved being near her, holding her, smelling her, kissing her. He loved her. He only wished he could tell her that and not scare her away. They had talked about how they felt, but inevitably beat around the bush. Did she really care for him that much? Did she love him too?

Severus shook his head, trying to figure out the puzzle of Hermione Granger and why she had become so distant. Remus had looked exasperated when Severus saw him in the Great Hall. He knew that he and Hermione had gone for a walk, but it was strange that he had not brought her to lunch. When Remus said that she had gone to lie down, he nonchalantly pushed Severus in the direction of her chambers. Did Remus know something? Probably. That thought frustrated Severus even more. Hermione used to talk to him, he always knew what she was thinking, what she was feeling, and now he was clueless and that werewolf knew what he didn’t.

His thoughts raced for many moments on how he could get the information out of Remus. But then a strange thought caught him off guard. Why had she gone to Remus and not him? He must have done something. That was the only plausible reason. But what had he done? Severus searched his memory for anything that may have set her off. The only thing that they had really talked about before all this started was the treatment. Severus could help the next thought that came into his head, maybe she didn’t want to have her sight back.

Severus’ mind started wandering again to possible reasons why she would want to stay blind. She could get around fine now with the use of Albus’ cane. She could read via the use of the stone. She could use magic, although she didn’t do it very often, if she needed it she could. But on the other hand, she couldn’t see to measure ingredients. She couldn’t see the colors needed in brewing and other such research; she was depending on him to so those things for him. She couldn’t see anything. She couldn’t see the blue sky, the green grass, or even the red rose hanging from her necklace. Severus thought back to that day in the garden when he kissed her for the first time. In just three weeks he had fallen in love with this girl… no, woman.

He could not comprehend as to why she would want to stay blind. Did she not want to finish her research with him. Did she not want to work as an apprentice? Did she not want to see her friends, or him? A sudden epiphany hit Severus like a ton of bricks. That was it, she didn’t want to see him. He knew that he was not an attractive man. Would she leave him if she could see again? Severus ran his hand over his face like Hermione always did when she wanted to ‘see’ him. She had told him before how she liked it when he smiled. Had she ever seen him smile? No only felt it. There was a difference. This had to be it. He could find no other reason. She was afraid that she wouldn’t like what she saw when her sight was restored. Severus had to admit, he wouldn’t like looking at himself either.

Severus sighed heavily and started to walk out of her door when he heard a faint, “Severus?” come from inside the room. He steeled himself for the lecture he was sure he would receive for being there. He slowly walked into the room to see Hermione sitting up in her bed. Her hair was tousled and her face red from sleep. She was beautiful. He sat softly on the edge of her bed afraid to say anything that might show his fear.

“I’m sorry, Severus.” His head fell and he looked away from her.

“I know Hermione. I’ll leave you alone. We can still work together, but I’ll try to keep my bounds.” His voice was soft and downtrodden.

Hermione looked at him confused. “Severus, what in Merlin’s name are you talking about?”

“You want out.”

“Out of what?”

“Us.”

“I do?”

“Don’t you?” Severus finally lifted his haze to her face. His voice belied the feeling hop he tried to hide.

“What would give you that idea?”

“I don’t know. You’ve been out of reach the past few days. We haven’t really talked since the other night. You…” his voice failed him before he could finish what he wanted to say.

Hermione scooted over to him and wrapped her arms around him. She had missed his warmth, his scent. “I’m sorry, Severus for being so distant. I had a lot on my mind. I just need to get orkeorked out on my own.”

Severus wanted to snap. She had to work it out on her own? Then why did she talk to Lupin? Severus sucked down these questions and the fury running through his veins. He steadied his voice and asked, “May I ask you what you had on your mind? What you had to get straightened out?”

Hermione squeezed him tighter, “That part doesn’t matter now. What matters is what I concluded from the experience.”

“And what was that?” the bitter tone he tried to suppress came out anyway.

“If you going to be a shit about this, Severus, forget it,” she snapped as she got up from the bed and started pacing. She knew that she had to save this mess she made, but he was infuriating.

“I’m sorry, Hermione,” he whispered, ashamed of himself for biting like he did.

Hermione moved to stand in front of him and took his hands in hers. The energy that flowed through her fingertips shot through him like a bolt of lightening. He had missed her touch. She kneeled down to be level with him. “Severus, I know I have been a bitch lately. I got scared. I wasn’t sure I wanted my sight back.” She could feel the silent question floating between them. “I was afraid that if I could see, I wouldn’t need you anymore and you would walk away.” Severus snorted. “Well that wasn’t quite the reaction I was expecting,” she said a bit too acidly.

“Hermione, I was just thinking the same about you; that if you had your vision back, that you wouldn’t want to be with me, that you wouldn’t want to look at me. I would never let you go. I lo…” he let his voice trail off, afraid to scare her away with those words. If Hermione noticed it, she didn’t acknowledge it.

“Severus, did you ever notice the way I stared at you during potions class? It wasn’t because I thought you were ugly. Quite the opposite, actually. When you love somebody, it doesn’t matter what they look like, they are beautiful no matter what.”

Severus didn’t think that Hermione caught what she had just said. Did she really love him? The joy he felt at that thought wanted to spill out, but he bit it down as fast as he could. But he couldn’t help the curiosity. “Hermione, did you just…”

“Yes, Severus. I said it. It’s a long time coming, too. I love you, Severus Snape.”

Tears fell from his eyes, all the fear, anxiety, relief and love all pouring out at once. It took a moment to find his voice, “I love you, too, Hermione.”

Her hands slowly snaked up his back and tangled in the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling him to her. This kiss was unlike any that they had ever shared. The love that each poured into it was reciprocated ten-fold from the other. No other words had to be spoken between them. They sat there on her bed holding each other for hours, oblivious to the pair amber eyes that had seen them, smiled, and then closed and locked the door leaving the couple to their own devices.