Why him?

AN:Currently my family is moving, so I didn't have tome to upload this chapter on Sunday. I planned to upload it on Monday but then we had a big accident with broken glass and a toddler, everything is luckily fine, and that is why I decided to drive back to the old house (since we still don't have any internet on the new one) and uplad this new chapter. I hope you love it, because it was something I enjoyed writing.


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The moment I'd been dreading - yet also dreaming of - for days had arrived. It was finally time to see Harry again. I thought I had prepared myself for this moment, but my hand was still shaking a little when I reached for the door handle. I took a deep breath before pressing down on the cold, metal handle, and took another deep breath before I had the courage to push the door open.

The sun was shining straight into the room and it blinded me. After the first few seconds of adjusting my eyes to the light I could make out a bed by the wall in the middle of the room, and sitting in it was a dark haired boy. The same dark haired boy who I knew had stolen a piece of my heart.

When our eyes met he smiled. I couldn't hold back my own emotions and smiled back, though it felt more like a grin.

"Blaise." Hearing his voice again was like heaven. I'd almost forgotten what it sounded like.

"Harry," I greeted back. I walked over to his side and took his hand in mine, returning his affection. When I saw how good, healthy and alive he looked I would never have believed he had been dead a few days ago.

"How are you?" he asked, and I smirked; I should be the one to ask him how he is, not the other way around.

"I’m good," I said. "How about you?" Then the strangest thing happened; he giggled. I couldn't understand what was so funny.

"I’m a little tired," he admitted. "Gone through a lot."

I wondered how he could be so calm after been drugged for months and then practically killed. I would have been furious! Undoubtedly I would have thrown things around me and tortured the one that did something like that to me.

"Did they tell you when you can be released?" I asked hopefully.

His smile faded, and that was when I saw the real Harry. When that beautiful, angelic smile disappeared, tired, dark rings seemed to appear under his eyes and his hair suddenly seemed a lot messier. I tried telling myself that his hair was always messy, but this time it looked unkempt.

"They say that, unless something bad happens today, I’ll be released tomorrow."

I raised my eyebrows. That was good news, so why had he changed from joyful to gloomy so fast was a mystery. I had the feeling that he wouldn’t tell me what was wrong unless I asked him.

"What is it?" I asked softly. He looked away from me. Was he embarrassed over something? "Harry?"

"You’ll only think it’s pathetic," he muttered. Maybe I would think that, but it didn’t mean that I didn’t want to know.

"Try me," I said casually, folding my arms. He still didn’t look up at me, but he talked anyway.

"I don’t think I can face her," he whispered. I knew who her was; that red-headed slut, Weasley.

"Why?"

"You know why, Blaise." When he looked up at me I saw that his eyes were glistening with unshed tears.

"So you mean that you can face the Dark Lord but not a stupid little manipulating girl?"

"She hasn't done anything that bad, really," Harry said desperately. "Voldemort... he's done more bad things, killed innocents."

"So because she's only tried to kill you and not hundreds of other innocents she doesn’t deserve to be punished?"

"No, that isn’t what I mean."

"Then what do you mean?" I snapped. I could feel my rage growing inside of me; why didn’t he want to punish her? She killed him, she lied to him, she's mad for Merlin's sake!

"She didn’t mean anything bad with what she did," Harry implored. "She just loves me enough to want to do anything to be with me."

I was angry, and I’m sure Harry could see it.

"If you let her get away then I don’t see any future with us together," I said coldly. I released his hand and watched as he opened his mouth a few times without being able to say anything.

Finally he found his voice.

"You see a future with us together?" he asked, his eyes wide. He was probably shocked that I'd even considered a relationship. I inwardly groaned; why was it so difficult for me to talk about relationships?

I sighed. "Not if you let her get away." I suppose what I was doing was almost like blackmail, except that it would be me who would lose more if he decided to do as I demanded. I would lose my freedom, my right, my mind, and everything else a relationship demands out of someone.

"I want to be with you," whispered Harry. I was pleased that he decided to bring her down, even if I would lose my freedom to him while he is taking hers away.

"I should warn you that the whole school knows you died," I said cautiously. "And Weasley lied to everyone and told them I was the one who tried to kill you." Maybe I should take it easier, he didn’t look so great, and he'd been through a heck of a lot. "I've managed to convince some of the students, partly. I don’t think they are ready to back me up but at least they question Weasley’s side of the story."

I began to feel sorry for him; his sad eyes were digging through me until they grabbed my heart and squeezed it. Instantly I felt a need to try and cheer him up, but what should I do? And why did I have the need to cheer him up? This whole thing made me sentimental; I was becoming an emotional wreck.

"Do you know how much pain you are causing me?" I said quietly. I took a small pause to let him wonder what I meant by it. "Since that first kiss you have been the only one on my mind."

"Then why do you continue to fuck others?" Harry said, his voice uneven.

I felt like giving up on this attempt at honesty. I was trying to do something good and he was ruining it! Why does he need to even discuss my wide range of partners? He knew as well as I did that it’s not easy for me to stay with only one person.

"I... I don't know," I admitted. "But you should know that I'm fucking less people now than before." That was true; before Harry I used to have at least two partners a week, now I barely had one partner a fortnight.

"And that is supposed to make me feel better?" Harry asked nonchalantly. I wanted to pull at my hair; was there no possible way to get Harry to understand? Everything I said, he would twist and make me look like the bad guy.

"If you hate it then why do you want to be with me?" I asked. He had no answer, just like I had no answer to why I wanted to be with him.

"Will you never be fully mine?" Harry croaked. I hated that awkward, uneasy moment, especially since I knew the truth would hurt Harry. I don't want to hurt him, but I know that I could never purely, solely be his.

"Harry, you know how much I want to be with you. But I want you to realise that I'm not a noble, honest Gryffindor like you. I'm no Golden Boy. I can be cruel when I want to and I don't know how much I could change if we were together. Of course I'd try and change but... I can't promise anything."

"But you will try?" I nodded and he smiled.

"I will try, and starting now I'll try to make you feel better." He stared at me in shock while I climbed up on the bed and knelt in between his legs. "I'm sure that your stay here hasn't been too pleasant, hmm?"

"It's been horrible," he managed to say in a dry voice; it surprised me he tried to speak.

"Do you want me to release some of that horrible pain?" I murmured.

He nodded, and I grabbed his cock. He gasped; I'm sure we were both thinking how it had been far too long since I last had his pulsing cock in my hand.

He didn't have a chance to move into a comfortable position before I managed to release his cock from the horrible hospital tunic.

I wanted to take it slow but it was difficult now that I finally had him to myself. I licked the tip of his cock just to annoy him. When he groaned in restricted lust, I decided I had tortured him for far too long, even if it was only a few seconds. When I took his whole cock into my mouth he gasped loudly. Then I moved my head up and down his length, slow at first because I didn't want him to come early. I moved my tongue over his cock as often as I could, tasting the pre-cum, then I began to move my head faster, until I forgot about my surroundings.

"Blaise," he panted, "I can't take it any more."

I was lucky I'd understood what he was saying; even basic English was a difficult task at that moment when Harry's cock was inside my mouth. While I was sucking him hard I pressed one finger against his entrance, using the saliva that was running down the cock as lubricant. When I pressed my finger inside of him he moaned, then he gasped again when I found his magic spot. Without warning he grabbed my head and pressed his cock even further into my mouth as he came, waves of semen was shot down my throat and I didn't mind it whatsoever.

When it was all over and he released my head I could finally see him again; he looked tired. I reminded myself that he'd been though a lot, and an orgasm on top of it wouldn't help him.

"Maybe it's time for me to leave," I muttered. Based on his response I thought he was sleeping, but when I got off the bed and covered him up with his duvet, he stopped me.

"What about you?" Harry asked, his green eyes flickering to the tent in my trousers. I was surprised he cared about me that much; before, when I'd made him come and then left, he didn't bother about my needs.

"I'll be fine," I said with a smile. "I can go days without release. It makes it so much better when I finally do come." Harry pushed himself up in the bed and looked at me.

"Promise me you'll wait for me this time."

"This time." But it won't happen often; I won't let Harry control me that easily. Why shouldn't I go and find release with someone else? It's not like I care about them like I care for Harry.

We kissed passionately for a few seconds before I had to leave him, as sad as it was, but I reminded myself that in only a day he will be back at school.

-o-

To say that I felt good after meeting Harry was an understatement; I couldn’t remember the last time I felt so happy. The short meeting with Harry made me forget about my problems, even if it was only for a short moment.

What I feared the most was to meet Weasley after I was with Harry, but luckily I didn't see her. In fact, it didn't seem like anybody knew where she was.

I did, however, meet Granger. She looked like she had been crying; her eyes were red and she avoided me when she was running from the library up towards the Gryffindor common room. I wondered what was going on, and even though I knew I should have left it alone I decided to go and find out. I walked into the library and scanned the large room. Nothing seemed strange, but I knew it wasn't that easy. I walked between all the bookshelves until I was sure I had located where Granger had come from. It wasn't difficult to guess where she must have sat before; books were spread all over the floor, notes everywhere, and the Weasley boy was slowly putting them back where they belonged on the shelves.

"What happened?" I asked. When Weasley heard my voice, he jumped and I knew instantly that they must have been talking about me. No one would be that jumpy if they hadn't done anything wrong.

"Zabini, what are you doing here?" the red-headed boy grumbled. Not wanting to tell him that I was worried when I saw Granger cry, I made up a lie, which could just as well have been the truth.

"It's a library," I stated. "I need a book." He seemed convinced - it sure didn't take much to fool him. "Do you care to tell me what Granger's hysteria was all about?"

"It's private," he snapped. I hope he didn't think I believed that lie. Maybe it was private, but it must be about me; I only hoped he didn't do something as stupid as telling her about what we did together.

"Really? So if it was something about me then you would tell me?"

"Maybe." He began to blush. I worried that he had told her, not that I could deny him from telling anybody.

"Weasley."

"All right." He grabbed another book and put it in it's place. "We were talking about you; she still doesn't believe you. Usually I think she's clever, but this time I know she's wrong, so I told her." He grabbed another book, but this time he didn't do anything with it, he just stared at it. "I told her that I thought you might have done something with... well, I'm not sure, but I think it's true, but I can't know for sure..." He was beginning to babble, and it was annoying me.

"So you told her that I fucked Harry?"

"Did you?" How can Harry be friends with someone as stupid as Weasley?

"You can ask Harry when he comes back."

"Merlin, you did!" I didn't deny it, neither did I admit it, so why would everyone think I did fuck Harry? "Did you say that he's coming back? When?"

"Tomorrow." I thought that he would jump up and down for joy, but instead he looked sick. "You're not happy?"

"I am, but I don't know what will happen tomorrow with Harry, Hermione and Ginny."

"He will be fine, I visited him today and told him that he needs to stand up for what is right." He still didn't look glad, damn Gryffindor's; I can't seem to leave them alone.

"What will happen after this? If everybody believes Harry, what will happen with my sister?" I didn't want to tell him the truth of what could happen to her, or that I was hoping it would happen. She would probably be taken to court, and if they found her guilty then she could possibly be sent to Azkaban. I know it's not true, she is too young to go to Azkaban, but they will take her away.

"I don't know, guess we have to wait and see." Luckily for me he didn't ask me anything else, he only nodded and continued to clean up Granger's mess. I decided our conversation was over and left.

-o-

When I woke up the next day I had a feeling that everything would be fine, that all the shit I had been haunted by would disappear. I knew things would go well but I didn’t know how well it would actually turn out. I went to class and ignored everybody; if they knew that Harry would come back today then I wouldn't be the hot topic.

After all my classes were over, and after I had been sitting in the Slytherin common room for an hour, I decided I should go to the library to do some research for the astronomy class. Just as I was walking up the stairs from the dungeon I was attacked by the Weasley bitch. She was screaming and hitting me, saying awful things about me and what she would do to me. I hadn’t expected her attack so early since I'd just left the Slytherin common room.

"You dirty Slytherin, how dare you see Harry after what you have done to him? When everyone sees that I'm right you will be so sorry." I still couldn’t believe that she didn’t see who was to blame, but I couldn’t expect anything else from a mad girl.

I grabbed her arms and twisted them so she wouldn’t be able to hurt me, not that she succeeded; her hits weren’t harder than if she should use a pillow to hit me.

"Let go of me, you filthy Slytherin!" I was beginning to get tired of all the names she was calling me, and I was beginning to get tired of her ugly face too.

"How did you know I saw Harry?"

"So it’s true!" I knew her brother must have told Granger, and I sighed; how stupid of him. He must have told the slut about it too, still thinking that I was the one to blame.

"Yes it’s true, and before I left I gave him a blow job." She screamed louder than before and tried to free herself from my grip, I knew that if I released her she would probably find her wand and kill me for what I did to Harry. I knew I couldn’t let her go while she was screaming like that, and it was difficult to try and grab my wand since I would have to release one of her arms, so I continued to hold her.

Luckily I didn’t have to do anything towards her; her shouting was so loud that both students and teachers were heading down the stairs towards us.

Madame Hooch was the first teacher to reach us. I was glad it wasn’t McGonagall again; I didn’t think she would be as kind with me this time.

"What on earth is going on here?" she barked while splitting us up. Weasley was still trying to hit me but not as much as before now that we were surrounded.

"He's evil!" she began to shout out. "He poisoned Harry and then killed him, and now he is trying to blame me." The next time I’m alone with her she will be sorry she ever accused me of killing Harry.

"Both of you need to speak with the headmaster, come on." Weasley didn’t move, instead she stood there and stared at me. I wasn’t frightened of her attempt to scare me; she didn't possess the power to scare me.

Hooch was trying to push her to walk up but she still didn’t move; if she decides to act childish then I should be the grown up and show her, so I walked past her, ignoring the stares of the other students that didn’t know what was happening. I wasn’t thinking much about what Weasley did; she thought that she had won but the headmaster knew I was telling the truth. I was heading for Dumbledore’s office but stopped when none other than Harry walked through the crowd. He moved away from the students when they tried to touch him or talk to him.

It’s difficult to describe my feelings with words, seeing him there, standing, smiling, not under any influence of drugs, felt unreal, almost like a dream.

"Harry, kill him!" Why did Weasley have to be there then and destroy the magical moment I had with Harry? Couldn’t she have waited one more minute, or until we had greeted each other? "He killed you, you have to kill him!" She ran over to him and swung her hands around his waist, it didn’t look like it would be easy to get rid of her now.

"No, Ginny, he hasn’t done anything. It was you." His voice was calm, but I could hear it hurt him to say that. The students who had gathered themselves around us were quiet, listening to every word that was said. "Why did you hurt me, Ginny?" She looked up at him with big puppy eyes; it didn’t look like she understood the question.

"I didn’t do anything," she whispered shakily. "You did; you and Zabini." That moment she reminded me of an innocent child, but I wasn’t fooled by her act.

"Ginny, I think you need help; some professional help. If you don’t go and get it yourself then I will take this situation forward." Why did he give her a chance? He died because of her, he quit quiddich because of her; she's the cause for many awful things that have happened. He shouldn’t give her any chances!

"I don’t need help, you do! You and that freak!" What happened next was not something I had expected. I had often hoped it would happen, but I never thought I would actually see it with my own eyes.

"Don’t call him a freak, Ginny!" Even she was scared of his sudden change and let go of him. "You poisoned my mind for months, I lost almost everything that is important to me, and then you killed me! Not to mention you blamed everything on Blaise!"

"I didn’t do it!" she managed to shout over his outburst.

"No, you ordered Dobby to do it for you, telling him that I would be better if he gave me that liquid. You used his trust Ginny." I didn’t know who Dobby was but it must be someone who Harry trusts greatly. "Look around you, Ginny, everyone knows that you did it now, give it up."

Granger pushed her way through the students who were standing around us. "Is it true? Did you lie to me?" She looked at Weasley, shocked and angry; Weasley didn’t know what to say and stood there with her mouth open. "How could you? I believed you, Ginny!"

"It’s not true, he did it," she said desperately. I didn’t even have to look at Granger to know that she didn’t believe Weasley.

"Ginny," Harry interrupted them, "you're sick and you need help." Weasley turned back at him, still in shock. "Go to Dumbledore now." She stood there without doing anything; I thought she might say something again but she shocked everybody when she found her wand and shouted an unforgivable against Harry.

I don’t know why but only seconds before Weasley reacted that way I had gripped my wand and pulled it out of my robe. Before she could say Kedavra I had managed to summon her wand so it was snatched out of her hand. Some of the students were screaming, others were trying to get out of the way, and a few jumped Weasley.

Harry wanted to be fair, but after this I doubted anyone would want to let her get away. Knowing that she will finally pay made me jump for joy on the inside.