A Looping of the Scales ~ COMPLETED

Chapter 21 ~ A Change

True to her word, Hermione didn’t attend breakfast the next morning. Ron felt rather strange not seeing her at the table, but she did show up for lunch claiming it would be her last time doing so during the week. She would schedule it in on the weekends, and/or supper too as part of her “social time.”

As she ate, Hermione wore an excited look on her face that wouldn’t go away. It was clear to see that accessing Snape’s library was the foremost thing on her mind. She didn’t even seem to be sad about breaking up, at least not to Ron.

”I can’t wait for the day to end, Ginny,” she gushed. Ginny gave her a small smile, then looked at Ron, who didn’t react at all.

Word of the break-up made its rounds of Hogwarts rather quickly. Not only was Lavender Brown very pleased about this development, but so were several other witches who thought Ron was cute. Plus, he was a famous hero. Who didn’t want to go out with a hero? Not one of them realized that Ron wasn’t interested in hopping back on the dragon yet, but they gave him some space—for now. It was bad form to zoom in on a wizard right after a breakup. Breakup etiquette dictated one should wait at least a week to make her move, so as not to appear to have had her eye on the wizard the entire time he was dating someone else. Which, incidentally, was usually the case.

Hermione didn’t have one wizard looking at her as possible girlfriend material. It was plain to see she had given Ron next to no personal time. What good would she be as a girlfriend if she didn’t have time to snog or shag?

Not much. As far as the Hogwarts males went, it wasn’t even worth the effort.

Hermione wolfed down her food, grabbed her bulging knapsack and said goodbye to everyone, Ron looking after her as she toted the heavy bag of books out of the Great Hall. It felt odd watching her leaving, carrying them herself. It was a good thing she was used to doing it. That knapsack was quite heavy.

”Feels a little strange, Hermione leaving—doesn’t it, Ron?” Harry said to him quietly, noticing Ron’s eyes resting on the doors Hermione just walked through.

”A little,” Ron said. “She’s going to end up looking like a hunchback if she continues to carry around all those books. Her knapsack looked heavier than ever.”

”That’s because she has double editions. She’s going to leave them in Snape’s quarters,” Ginny explained. “She told me this morning.”

”Oh,” Ron said shortly, picking up a treacle tart and biting into it.

”I don’t understand why she doesn’t just miniaturize them,” Harry said.

”Because constant resizing ruins the books,” Ron said. “Hermione found that out ages ago when she discovered the library books had an anti-shrinking charm on them. Madam Pince explained how shrinking and expanding put additional stresses on the bindings, pages and print. It makes them become brittle and almost unreadable in a short period of time. You know Hermione loves books, so she stopped using the spell on any of them.”

“That makes sense, I guess,” Harry said, shrugging his shoulders.

”Yeah,” Ron replied, still looking toward the doors.

This was going to take some getting used to, for him at least. More than likely, all Hermione was feeling right now, was her freedom.

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As soon as the last class let out, Hermione fairly flew down to the dungeons, shouldering through students getting out of Potions class and stopping in front of Snape’s office, pounding on the door.

It opened, and Snape looked out at her with a slight frown.

”I know you’re here to study, but that’s no reason to try and beat in my door,” he said snidely.

Hermione pushed the door wider and slid by him, completely ignoring his snideness. She walked straight through the open wall and into his quarters. Snape stared after her, reminded a little bit of Lily, who also used to disregard what he had to say and did what she wanted anyway. She got away with it because he was smitten with her. Hermione got away with it because she was smart and he needed her.

He closed the office door and warded it, then entered his quarters, closing the wall behind him. He found Hermione standing in the center of the room, her knapsack on the floor next to her, staring at what he’d created.

”What’s that?” she asked him.

”The ultimate study table,” Snape replied. “I made it so our study time will be comfortable.

Hermione stared at the long desk Snape had built. Along the top of it were cubby-holes in which were parchment paper, ink, quills, blotters, Muggle pens and pencils and magical erasers, all within reach. There was ample writing space and wide arms on the right and left on which to pile books. But the most amazing thing was the mirrors. He had arranged a number of angled mirrors under the cubby holes that pointed to a straight mirror running the length of the table.

”What are the mirrors for?” she asked.

”Sit down on the right and open a book,” Snape said. He watched as Hermione withdrew a book and walked up to the desk. Two cushioned wooden chairs were there, and Hermione pulled one out and sat down. Snape sat down in the chair next to hers. She placed her book on the desk top, then gasped as her open book’s image appeared directly in front of Snape as if projected on a screen. He pulled out his wand and tapped the mirror, and the book was magnified.

”I can see whatever you’re working on without leaning over your shoulder and crowding you,” he told her. “I hate being crowded when I’m working. I’m sure you share the sentiment.”

Hermione nodded.

”This is marvelous. I’ve never seen anything like it. You—you came up with this design yourself?” she asked him, impressed.

”No. I had a battalion of construction wizards working on it night and day,” he responded snarkily, then added, “Of course I came up with it myself. It was necessary. I want our study time to as painless as possible.”

Hermione frowned at him.

”I hope you don’t plan on being a sarcastic prat the entire time we study together. You might think it’s witty, Severus, but to me it’s annoying as well as tiresome,” she told him flatly. “Three months of that tosh will drive me crazy. So, tone it down now. All right?”

Snape frowned back at her.

”The definition of sarcasm, Hermione, is intellect on the offensive. I use it in response to incredibly stupid questions and actions. It’s my way of protecting my brain from going into meltdown when confronted or attacked by extreme idiocy. So, when you talk to me, please frame your statements with some modicum of good sense. You knew I designed this desk. Asking me if I did was stupid, annoying and a waste of time.”

”I was just trying to get some background on it,” she snapped at him, turning red.

”Then just ask for the background,” he sniped back at her. “Don’t dance around what you want to know.”

Hermione’s face went black for a moment. Was this really worth it? Severus was nearly unbearable. Then her brown eyes swept over all the beautiful books she’d have access to if she just worked through this, and she sighed with resignation. Nothing good was ever easy.

”Fine,” she said. Enough about that. Now, do you want to start out with Potions?”

”Is that what you normally start out with?” he asked her.

”No, not exactly. First I study the syllabus in advance. I like to stay at least two weeks ahead of my assignments. I start with my reading, then essays, then written work, then problem-solving, wand work, then Arithmancy and Potions last. I imagine making time to read your books will drop me down to a week ahead, but it will still be worth it.”

Snape just stared at her. She was ahead two weeks in her studies with all the classes she was taking? That was just – insane. But as he thought about it, it did give her a lot of wriggle room if she needed to stop studying for any reason. Maybe it wasn’t that insane after all.

”Well, I don’t want you to change your study habits. Just let me know when you’re about to work on something that pertains to Arithmancy and Potions. Otherwise, I’ll work on my own reviewing. All I ask is that you do some Arithmancy and Potions work every day so I’m not wasting my time.”

”Fair enough,” Hermione said, retrieving her knapsack and setting up for study. She noticed Severus got up, not getting anything out. Instead, he took off his robes and stood in the center of the room, taking a deep breath. Hermione tried to focus on setting up, but couldn’t help glancing over at him. He took several more breaths, then fell very still, looking expectant. He was dressed in a nice white shirt, a green and silver tie, black trousers, shiny black boots and wore a belt with a Slytherin buckle. He was lean and everything fit perfectly as if tailored for him.

Hermione sat down and opened her Transfiguration book, but she could feel Snape, just standing there, breathing evenly, a sense of expectation heavy in the air.

Finally, she couldn’t hold in her curiosity.

”What are you doing?” she asked him.

Snape turned her way, looking exasperated.

”You broke my concentration!” he snarled at her.

”What? What are you doing?” she asked him again.

”I’m trying to find my animal form, if you must know. In that Pensieve I saw Black could turn into a dog, although that was really no surprise considering his personality, and Peter could turn into a rat. I’ve been trying to find my form since my fifth year, but seeing those idiots do it has just renewed my determination. I’m sure I have a better form than a filthy rat or a flea-bitten mongrel. James probably had a form, too.”

”He did,” Hermione said softly. “His Animagus form was a stag.”

Snape stared at Hermione, his black eyes widening in understanding and he slumped a little.

”What’s wrong?” she asked him, seeing the change in his demeanor.

Snape’s dark eyes rested on Hermione, and she could clearly see the pain in them.

”Lily’s Patronus,” he said softly. “It—it was a doe. The mate of a stag.”

Hermione nodded.

”I never stood a chance with her. I can see it now. That Patronus proves it.”

”You had a doe for a Patronus too,” Hermione said quietly.

”How do you know that!” he demanded. “I never showed anyone that!”

”You sent it to Harry so he could find the sword of Gryffindor when you were an adult, that’s how I know,” Hermione said. “Still, you shared a Patronus with Lily. That had to mean something—“

”It meant that I was smitten. A doe can’t mate with a doe. They could never be together. I should have realized that,” he hissed. “James was a stag. That was a physical manifestation of the magic they shared between them. A sign. If I had known that—maybe I could have let Lily go—inside. I wouldn’t have clung the way I did, even after she abandoned me. She must have always been attracted to James Potter—“

Snape’s face screwed up at the thought.

”And she ended our friendship so she could be with him—“

”Maybe she did it to spare your heart, Severus,” Hermione suggested softly. “She knew how much you hated him. Maybe she thought that it would be better, less cruel, to end your friendship, rather than keep it and be with James.”

”It didn’t help. My heart felt as if a sword was being run through it every time I saw them together. I might have—have done harm to myself if not for Tom Riddle’s interest in me. He helped me to focus on other things, and promised me that I’d have another chance with Lily—but it’s clear now that I never would, even if she had lived. She wasn’t meant for me.”

Snape straightened, his face becoming black.

”So, Potter was a blasted stag was he? I bet one with beautiful antlers, fast and sleek. Something—something wonderful. He was always seen as so bloody wonderful, when he wasn’t! He was a coward and a bully. Too bad someone didn’t take him down when he was in his Animagus form and make a nice, thick venison stew out of him!” Snape fumed as Hermione stared at him with wide eyes. He was filled with such hatred.

Suddenly Snape began to shudder, anger, pain, loss, all combining, taking over his mind, his logic. Hermione stared at him.

”Are you all right?” she gasped, rising from her chair and starting to walk toward him. She became alarmed when his eyes rolled up into his head. He seemed to be having some kind of seizure.

”I’ll call Madam Pomfrey!” she cried, running toward the Floo.

”NO!” Snape screamed at her, the world bending around him, everything twisting. “No, don’t do anything!”

He could feel it was happening. It was finally happening. He just had to go with it, let those primal feelings take over.

Hermione froze as Snape’s body began to morph, and he transformed into his Animagus form.

Hermione stared at the creature standing before her. It was unbelievable. She had heard of this beast but never seen one before.

It was—beautiful.

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A/N: Thanks for reading.