Memoirs of a Serpent's Son

Memoirs of a Serpent’s Son

--Age 16—part 1

Summer

My life, as I had known it, has ended.

I woke up this morning with a dull ache in my head and a hollowness in my chest that has not gone away since the day I promised Potter he’d die. But that was entirely usual, when I think on the events of the past few months. What was unusual came just after darkness had finally set in after dusk.

The entrance hall of the Manor was suddenly filling with black-hooded figures as Mother and I got up from dinner. They stood in a massive half-circle around me, each of them wearing skull-masks to obscure their features and yet I knew most of them without ever seeing their faces. I knew them because Father had known them and he had introduced me.

I stood in front of them, my face blank and my pulse calm. I knew this would happen eventually, I had been expecting it since the day I stepped off the Hogwarts’ Express and come home to an almost empty house. Father had not left me with any work to do over the summer and so I knew, from the first moment, that things would not be the same and would turn out much worse than I could have expected.

My mother stood silently by my side but I could feel her tremble there. She knew each and everyone one of the faceless people as well, but that did not stop her from fearing for me. She may never have shown me much affection, but I knew that she would never give up any son of hers to death.

But she wasn’t going to be given that choice.

“The Dark Lord has demanded your presence, Draco,” a familiar voice told me. The woman –which I knew to be my aunt Bellatrix –stepped forwards and held out her arm. “You will come with me.”

I didn’t say a word. I’m not an idiot.

I took her arm and she Apparated us out of the Manor and to some dark room. I’d never been in there before, though I couldn’t see much of anything, I felt it. I felt like I was outside any world that I had ever known as I looked around the pitch black compartment. I was alone now, with only Mother and Bellatrix. All others were gone and, for a moment, I vaguely wondered if they had been there to begin with.

Not a word was said, but Aunt Bella pushed open a door I wasn’t aware of and motioned for me to go in. I took a deep breath before taking a step. It felt as though it took me forever but I know I must have move quickly enough, for no one scolded me.

As soon as I passed over the threshold I was hit with the overwhelming sense of dread. I found myself facing a tall, very thin man, with skin paler than my own and no hair, nor –it seemed –ears. He was standing with his back to me and staring into a very dim fire.

“Ah, Draco, we meet at last,” a snake-like voice hissed from in the darkness. I knew that He must have been the one to say it as there was no one else in the room but it sounded as though it was coming from all sides at once.

I didn’t say a word. I didn’t know if I should, He hadn’t asked me a question. I think I may have been frozen in my fear…not really of him, specifically, but of the whole situation… of everything that was about to happen and everything I wished I would never have to do.

“How are you feeling, Draco?” He asked, turning around to face me. His face was inhuman. His eyes were red and strangely shaped and his nose was… well not there, there were just slits in its place. I think I may have been trembling, but as my father always taught me, I tried to appear in control.

I didn’t get a chance to answer though. I felt Him pushing past the barriers in my mind to infiltrate and get whatever answer he needed from me. He smiled and tilted his head to the side.

“You are frightened, Draco,” He hissed. “It’s understandable, what with your Father in prison and having proven such a great disappointment to me, you mustn’t expect to get great treatment. I daresay you won’t. Though you have already proven to be more than I expected. You stand there, controlled and without any illusions. Good.”

He gave me what might have been meant as an approving smile but it just contorted his inhuman face in new ways that are not imaginable to make him look even more like a demon of some kind. I swallowed hard and steadied my breathing. I did not know what I was to say.

“Draco, I am going to assign you a task,” He finally said. “I warn you, each and every one of my Death-Eaters would kill for a task of this importance but I am giving it to you. It is your chance to make up for your father’s failures and regain favour in my circle, for both of you. Your family may know, but you will tell no one else.”

No matter what I had told myself, no matter how many times I’d gone over the possible scenarios in my own mind, I could never have expected what he told me next.

“You are to kill Albus Dumbledore.”

I know I must have gasped. I opened my mouth, at least. Perhaps no air went in or out, but I stood there with wide eyes and lips parted, wondering if He was joking. Surely He had to be. I’m only sixteen! I’m underage and unqualified! How does he expect me to kill a wizard that powerful?

I don’t know what made me do it, but I did and I’m kicking myself now for it.

“And if I refuse?” The words just streamed out of my mouth and hung on the air like bright shining beacons of my stupidity as his eyes bore into me and tore apart my soul.

“The lives of your parents, along with your own, rely on your compliance,” He answered silkily. His words and expression made me feel as though he’d penetrated my mind and was suddenly inside me, instead of just in front of me. I suppose that is one of his powers… making you feel overwhelmed with his power. “Surely you wouldn’t be so foolish as to throw all that away.”

It wasn’t a question. I just stared at him. I didn’t know what to say. I thought of my parents and what they have done to make my life good…I thought of all the things my father did to keep us in high status and protect our way of life…

“You’ve never been exposed to the actual wrath of Lord Voldemort, have you?” He finally added, flicking his wand carefully. I tried not to wince at his name, but the urge was so powerful that I think it may have torn right through me had I not.

I didn’t answer, though. I didn’t have to. He gave me a dark look, one that surely made grown powerful wizards shrink away in fear.

“Let me give you just a little taste of what is in store for you, should you be foolish enough to refuse such an honour.” Without another word he flicked his wand and my arm swung up into his thin-fingered hand. He pulled back my sleeve to expose the thin cuts there that still had not healed.

“These almost look like werewolf wounds,” He hissed, smirking to himself. “Nothing good comes from things that don’t heal. Let’s see if I can’t help that.” And before I could say a word he pressed the tip of his wand directly into the cut and cast a wordless ‘crucio’.

I don’t remember opening my mouth. I don’t remember screaming until I had no voice. I don’t remember falling to the ground and writhing. I just remember pain beyond any I’ve ever felt. It was ten times worse than any Cruciatus curse I’ve ever been subjected to. It felt like liquid agony, filtering directly into my bloodstream and setting my entire body on fire with scorching flames. It felt like my bones threatened to collapse and turn to dust to make way for my flesh to bubble and explode.

I could swear that it was years before He let go. When He finally did, I was huddled in a trembling heap on the ground, the wounds in my arm almost worse than they had been the day that I got them, bleeding enough to drown myself in it.

He flicked his wand again and tight bandages appeared around the wounds, covering my forearm entirely. The bandages were almost as painful as the cuts themselves, but I said nothing.

“Get to your feet,” He ordered. I complied immediately though I was amazed that my legs would actually hold me up. “I will deliver that pain tenfold should you fail or attempt to betray me. You will not simply die; I will have you tortured beyond your most terrible nightmares before I allow you to meet your end.”

I nodded, without looking Him in the face. I couldn’t. My eyes would not allow me to see Him. He noticed this and lifted my head with his long fingers.

“You could be great, Draco,” He hissed again. “If you succeed, you would be revered amongst my followers. You would be a hero to them and have found yourself in my favour. Wouldn’t you like that, Draco? You would be favoured by the more powerful wizard of all time.”

“Yes…” I whispered, trying desperately not to think anything. “I will prove myself to you, sir.”

I was talking out of fear and out of pain more than I was speaking out of determination or zeal. I knew this is what I would have to do. There was no other option for me. It was only a matter of time before I was sought out to repay my father’s debt. He allowed himself to be captured and overpowered by not only the Order of the Phoenix, but by young and inexperienced wizards.

He turned his back to me and I left the room, still shaking from the curse he’d put on me. My mother let out a soft cry of worry when she saw me and Aunt Bellatrix Apparated me back to the Manor.

She asked me immediately about what happened. Following the orders I was given, I told her and gave her the same warning I was given. No one else was to find out. This mission was secret and mine alone to bear.

Then she saw my arm.

She tried to grab my arm to see what he had done, to see if her suspicions were correct but I pulled away from her.

“Leave me!” I screamed, wrenching my arm back. She cried out in frightened sobs and Aunt Bella held her as she was about to collapse. She began to ramble incoherently. “I have my mission and I will do it without argument! I will prove myself!”

I don’t know why I yelled those things. Perhaps it was more to convince myself that that was where my heart truly lay. But the more I said it aloud, the more unreal it seemed…

How could He expect me to do that? To kill Dumbledore??

I ran to my room and shut myself up.

I don’t know what to do! I have no idea how to go about planning this…

This is all because of Potter…

Stupid little saviour had to be the hero again and now not even HE can save me…

*****

My arm has not stopped bleeding since my encounter with Him. It’s been a steady trickle and has soaked bandage after bandage with no signs of stopping.

The Nurse didn’t say anything for the first time ever. I figure she knows who caused the bleeding this time and knows better than to speak against Him. She’s told me that in order to get the wounds to stop bleeding I need to take her healing potion regularly and keep my stress levels low. Fancy trying to do that when you’ve got to kill one of the most beloved figures of the wizarding world.

I didn’t bother commenting, though. I’ve hardly said a word to anyone since that night. I’ve been so busy trying to figure out a way to accomplish my task. That and trying desperately not to let myself think or dream of Potter…

I don’t know how it’s possible for someone to be so aggravating, so inconsiderate and so oblivious to plant himself in my mind and simply refuse to be uprooted.

But I don’t like him anymore. No. I don’t.

………

I have come up with a plan, mind you. I’ve thought of something that might work… I got the idea from Montague’s story last year when he reappeared in the toilet. Though I don’t know if I’ll actually be able to do it…. I have to go see Borgin to get more information, though I know I’ll need a bit of leverage there…

*******

I’ve received my OWLs today. I’ve been given all ‘O’s except for one: Charms. The bloody exam during which Potter distracted me. I got “Exceeds Expectations” in that one instead. Still… ten “Outstandings” and one “E” is eleven OWLs in total, either way. Though it does seem so meaningless in the grand scheme of things, all things considered.

Mother seemed mildly pleased. When I asked her what it mattered, considering everything now, she scolded me and said that I needed to continue my education. She said it was important…

I think she thinks I’m going to come out of this, as though it’s all just a terrible nightmare and when I wake up I’ll be just another NEWT student and be able to move on to bigger and better things in life… to be more than just a pawn in the Dark Lord’s game.

But I don’t think she really believes that. I know she can’t.

Once you become a servant of the Dark Lord, there is no turning back. It’s either Him or death. I suppose people like Uncle Regulus chose death in the end… I’ve never heard her say a word about him but I’ve seen his name on the family tapestry and Father has told me that he was killed for betrayal.

I have no choice now. I can’t opt for death like Regulus did. I have more than just one life on my shoulders…

I will accomplish my task and I will prove myself worthy…

*******

Mother and I went to Diagon Alley today for school things. She refused to let me go alone. She said it wasn’t safe. I did not appreciate this. I am not a child anymore. I know that it isn’t safe but I’m part of the people that are supposed to be making it unsafe to go out alone…

Her logic baffles me.

I was standing in Madam Malkin’s, getting fitted for new robes, when I heard them. Potter and his little followers came into the shop for their robes. I clenched my jaw momentarily as he came in. I cannot afford to let him distract me anymore. I cannot allow him to make me react in inappropriate ways.

I can’t spend my time thinking about him or following him around anymore.

We had words.

I noticed that the mudblood’s eyes was black and asked her who did it. Said I wanted to send flowers. I thought it was clever, at least to disguise my discomfort, but they didn’t appreciate it.

Potter drew his wand, along with the Weasel, almost instantaneously. Words, words and more words, things that are not important and even more immature. At least until he made a comment to my mother.

Said that he didn’t have Dumbledore with him so that she should try to attack him and see what came of it. He claimed that he could get her a double cell with (and I quote) her “loser husband”.

I snapped, nearly tripped over my robes, and raised my wand to the idiot. I yelled at him not to talk to my mother like that. He has no right to disrespect her in such a manner! Hasn’t he done enough to destroy me and my family?

Hasn’t he had enough fun at my expense??

After that the tension on the air just got worse. Madam Malkin just became frantic and tried to calm us down before we started a duel of sorts.

She went into pin my sleeve again but pricked me (for the umpteenth time) with her damn needles. ON MY BAD ARM. I snarled and wrenched my arm away from her, slapping her hand and scolding her for not being more careful.

I needed a reason to get away from Potter (who was giving me a strange look for pulling my arm away) and proclaimed that I did not want those robes anymore. I left with Mother as quickly as possible and went on with my shopping.

I finally shook Mother off at Flourish and Blotts’, telling her that it would ultimately be safer to get the shopping done faster and split up rather than spend more time lolling about doing nothing.

I strode down the alley and finally came to it. Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes.

Yes, I hate the Weasels. But the shop was simply too attractive and the Weasel twins were just too good at making their products.

I ducked into the shop and looked around quickly, picking things that I wanted or needed. I picked up one of their Patented Daydream Charms and some Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder, among a few other small things.

I tried to get one of the younger working girls to serve me at the counter, but much to my dismay the two owners came instead. Their faces broke into identical mischievous grins when they saw me. I told them that I wanted to buy the products and they said alright but that I’d have to pay double.

I normally would have left right then and there, without another word and only a glare, but I needed the things that I had picked. I grudgingly gave them the appropriate amount and bolted from the store, hiding the items in my cloak pockets. Then I ducked back into another store further up the street that sold antiques. I just needed to stay out of sight for a while until I could jet back out to get to Knockturn Alley.

When I finally thought I had spent enough time browsing the broken old furniture, I slipped out of the store and walked down the Alley again. I checked over my shoulder probably more times than is normal, but found no one unwanted there.

As I past the Weasel store my eyes lingered in the windows for a moment as I caught a glimpse of what I thought was Potter, before shaking it off and running down to Knockturn Alley.

Borgin did not seem particularly pleased to see me. I didn’t care. I can sound exactly like my father when I want to and even older and more powerful wizards cower at that kind of assertiveness.

I asked him about the Vanishing Cabinet he had and if he would be able to tell me how to fix a broken one. He said he could but that he would have to see it. Now that’s just stupid, it’s not like I can walk around with a Vanishing Cabinet and bring it in to him whenever I feel like it. I’m a bloody student!

I told him that it would be impossible and he said he couldn’t help me unless I brought him the damn thing. I was getting nervous. My entire plan relied on fixing the Vanishing Cabinet. I did something rather risky but it was all I could think to do.

I stepped closer and pulled up my sleeve and removed the bandage so that he could see the severity of my wounds. I knew that if he had any kind of intelligence he would assume the same thing that the Dark Lord had. His face betrayed his fear immediately, though he seemed unsure.

I added that Fenrir Greyback was an old family friend and would be checking in on him from time to time. This was a bold faced lie. I don’t know Greyback and I don’t ever want to. I knew, however, that dropping the name of the most infamous werewolf while someone thought I’d been bitten by one would only serve to reinforce the idea that I might be very dangerous.

Besides, a man like Borgin deals with Death-Eaters and dark wizards on a daily basis, what has he to fear from that? A werewolf, however, is unpredictable, vicious, and dangerous and shows no care for humans.

He seemed to fall for it nicely, telling me that would not be necessary. I told him to keep his mouth shut about what he’d seen and guard the other Cabinet for me and after he foolishly offered that I should take it right then and there, I sneered and ordered him just not to sell it.

Then I left and went as quickly as I could back to Mother to get out of there. I couldn’t risk seeing Potter again…

I can’t let myself feel that way again. I can’t!!

If only he knew what I was planning… what I’m being forced to do.

He’d kill me on the spot and then I’d never have to worry about it again…

I’d never have to worry about killing people or loving him…

Funny, I never thought those two things would go together.

-----IIIII-----

A/N: BOOK SIX BEGINS! LET’S HAVE A ROUND OF APPLAUSE! Lol I am FINALLY here. I was very excited at first, until I went back through the whole book to figure out everything I needed to write and I realized that it would be a lot harder than I previously assumed… also, I know you are all waiting for Draco to get together with Harry, but I can’t promise you get what you want in this book. I can’t. I can promise quite a few added parts (not only slashy things but also because I have to get into what Draco is doing while Harry doesn’t know where he is) but this is NOT going to be a fluffy few chapters. This is going to be raw and painful and angsty but after that we move into completely uncharted territory, which is good. PLEASEEE bear with me and I hope you don’t get too tired of me, I know this couple is slow in coming but it will all be worth it in the end.

I would also like to add that I absolutely adore all my reviewers! Cookies to all and cupcakes too!