Twisted Lust

It flipped up in the air, tumbling back down into the pan, almost hitting the floor.
Hermione was cooking breakfast. Had she ever cooked before in her life? No, not really,
and she was a pretty bad cook. But that wasn't going to damper her spirits, she
was so full of something. Happily singing something while flipping whatever it was that
she was cooking.

There was a knock at the door, it reverberated throughout the manor, finally
settling in the kitchen. 'Must be the gardener' she thought to herself, setting the pan
back down on the oven. There really wasn't any point to her cooking, since she could
have done it all magically, but sometimes she liked to do things the muggle way.

"Just a minute" she called out. Washing her hands under the ice cold sink water,
Wiping them dry on her shirt, she paused to look at her outfit, not wanting to look
like a complete whore in front of the worker person.

Shorts and a non see-through top? Good enough. She slipped on her flip flops,
yes it was winter, but she was used to the cold, she always dressed like that in winter.
She walked to the big wooden door, smoothing her hair down. She hadn't bothered brushing
it. Reaching for the door.

She dropped the check she was supposed to give the gardener, she bent down to pick it.
"Sorry. I guess the next time we'll be seeing you is after" she stood up

"new years...."

Standing against the side of the door, his tousled hair swept to one side, was none other
than a Mr. Potter. Just standing and looking at her, he wasn't looking down at her perfect
body, just her face. Eye contact. He made a move to hug her, but she stepped back.

"What are you doing here?"

"Can I come in?"

She stepped back and looked at him closely, watching him like a hawk, trying to judge
something. It went on like that forever, really just ten minutes, but it seemed like forever.
With a little hesitation, she opened her mouth to say something, closed it again. Faced with
indecision. Opening her mouth again, maybe this time something would come out of it.

"Ok"

He kept standing there, probably unsure if she was serious.

"Are you going to stand there all day?"

She walked in, closing the door behind her, going into the kitchen to continue her failed
attempts. A little while later she heard the door open as well, closing behind.

"What is that smell?" he asked, walking into the kitchen.

"My cooking. Have a problem with it?" she spitted back vehemently.

He walked towards the kitchen table, sitting down, then standing up again and going to the island
with the counter, resting his elbows on it.

Hermione stopped pretending to cook, turning the fire off, keeping her back towards him

"Why did you come here?"

"Hermione.... I.......
I'm sorry"

She nodded her head along, staring at the oven.

"I'm sorry. Look, I can't. I can't even begin to tell. To tell you all the things I want to say.
There's so much, and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I can't live with myself. I can't live knowing
what happened. After what happened to you, I just, it's just....
I can't live knowing i hurt you, you're my best friend, you're like a sister."

She started laughing, loudly, cutting him in his thoughts.

"Your sister? Your sister?! That must be the funniest thing I've ever heard Harry. Tell me,
is that how you would treat your siblings? With that same amount of.... passion?"

He was silent, staring at the floor, like a little boy who was being punished.

"I don't know what made me do it."

"Yeah"
All she could reply.

"I'd do anything. I'd do anything, I'd cut my arm off if I had to. To erase it, to go back,
I just want it to be like before."

"It would be nice. It would be nice, but it isn't realistic."

"Hermione, I'm just..."

"No. You know what Harry. Thank you."

"Thank you?"

"Yes, thank you. Thank you for that, if you hadn't I would still be there, I would be still there
denying a lot of things, hiding from things I have to face. Still needing someone to feel like
I could live."

He stood there, sort of awestruck.

"And you know what. Screw it, I don't care anymore, I don't care if you try to rape me again"

He cringed as she said it.

"I don't care and you know why?
Because all that has already happened. Because it's all behind. What difference does it make anymore,
what difference does it make if it happens again. That's my destiny, and I know it. It's happened countless
times, so why not again. Come on, do it now. See if I cry, see if I resist."

"Hermione I"

"Come on! Try it, see if I do anything. I never can fend for myself, so what's the point fighting.
It's not like it's going to hurt right? Try it. Just try it."

"Stop"

"Stop what?"

"Acting like you're a whore. Acting like people can use you."

"Why? It's the truth isn't it?"

"It's so far from the truth. It's not even close. You're so much better than it."

He moved to hug her, she didn't flinch. So he wrapped his arms around her

"I missed you" he whispered.

She nodded her head against him. Raising her arms to hug him back, it felt so good. Why was
everything getting better. The two most important relationships, all of a sudden, repaired.

"I missed you too"
And she should have cried, but why? There was no point, wasn't something good happening.
She was sick of crying.

In the back of her mind there was something else.
They were touching for a long time, and deep in her thoughts, a little voice
was telling her she wouldn't have minded so much if Harry had tried.
If he had tried to make an advance on her this time, could she have secretly craved it?

Draco would not be pleased.



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not very long. but i keep getting new ideas
so its actually making the story longer.
tell me what you think
love reviews