#4 ~ The \"Up Against the Wall\" Wars
folder
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Snape/Hermione
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
34
Views:
34,908
Reviews:
333
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
1
Category:
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Snape/Hermione
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
34
Views:
34,908
Reviews:
333
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
1
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Last Day at Hogwarts
Disclaimer: All characters belong to JKR. All situations are mine.
*****************************
Chapter 22 ~ Last Day at Hogwarts
On Friday afternoon, the class of Severus Snape left the classroom in rushed but stunned silence. The Potions Master sat at his desk, arms folded, a slight smirk on his face. He had let the students out of class after only five minutes, and for the first time in Hogwarts history, he hadn’t assigned a weekend parchment to accompany their reading.
“But, on Monday, expect a quiz on the topic,” he stated imperiously to the astonished class, “and if you all do well, perhaps I will repeat this little experiment at another time. You are all dismissed. Be punctual on Monday.”
The class sat immobile, shock on their faces.
“What are you all gaping at me for? Go!” he roared.
The startled students hurried gathered up their books, chairs scraping, bodies bumping and fled the room. The ensuing silence was palpable.
The truth was Severus had a lot to do this evening. He and Hermione were leaving for Hogsmeade tomorrow. He had to speak one last time with Dumbledore, and meet Hermione to discuss some new idea she had concerning the potential ambush.
He unrolled the parchment on his desk, and looked it over. It was his last will and testament. In the event of his death, he had deeded all his worldly goods to one Hermione Granger, to be used as she saw fit. In the event of both their deaths, his holdings were to be dissolved and the monies placed in trust under the name of the Granger-Snape Foundation, and utilized to ensure bright, underprivileged students could continue their studies after graduating Hogwarts in the fields of spell development and/or potions. He would owl it to his solicitor in the morning. Even if he survived, he wanted his worldly possessions distributed this way. It gave him pleasure to think Hermione would be provided for. He was sure she would approve of the foundation as well.
He re-rolled the parchment and deposited it in the upper right-hand drawer. That done, he walked through the Potions lab and into the Spell lab, where he found Hermione furiously writing notes with one hand, while levitating a small, glowing golden stone with her wand in the other. He watched her, so focused on her work that she didn’t notice his entrance, and his heart tightened. He knew there was a chance that they might not succeed in thwarting Draco’s plan.
In the event that they could not manage an escape, he had created a powerful poison that could be taken beforehand, but would not go into effect unless the user invoked it by saying the word, “Thantos.” It would extinguish life instantly and painlessly. If not invoked within twelve hours, the poison would be rendered harmless. He hoped there would be no need for invocation.
Hermione finished writing her notes, and slowly lowered the stone into a box, which she sealed quickly. Turning, she saw Severus, and softly smiled.
“Hello, Severus,” she said, walking up to him and planting a quick kiss on his lips.
Severus looked down at her affectionately. “Hello Hermione. What did you want to talk to me about concerning Draco?”
Hermione looked excited. “Let’s go to my rooms where we can get comfortable and I’ll tell you.”
She caught Severus by his arm and pulled him along like an over-excited child.
She practically pushed him into the cushy armchair in her study, and started pacing in front of him as she shared her idea.
“Now, we know that Draco wants to find the best place to ambush us, and his challenge is to find out where to do it. The Three Broomsticks will have too many people there to safely attack us, and I doubt if they will want to follow us en masse, they could be discovered. We need to insure that they have an opportunity…so…
She reached in her pocket and pulled out what looked like a list and handed it to Severus, who studied it for a moment.
“An itinerary?” he asked, looking up at her, “who in the world writes an itinerary for a two day stay in a local village?”
Hermione smiled, “I do. I always like to plan my days. You should have seen the study calendar I created for myself, Ron and Harry before the NEWTs. Every hour of free time was covered. What subject to be studied, what time, how long, etc, while making time for meals and quidditch practices. It was ready months before the NEWT exams. Draco knows how anal retentive I am. He wouldn’t think anything of it if he ‘accidentally’ got hold of this.”
Severus looked at the list again, scowling. “Brunch at Madam Puddifoot\'s? Window shopping? An intimate picnic in Cuttlesbury Park? Flower Picking? Gods, Hermione, this list of activities makes me look…well…pussy-whipped.”
Hermione looked at him in surprise.
“Severus! Where did you even learn that word? That’s a muggle word.”
“I picked it up somewhere,” he groused, “it seems the perfect word to describe…following this.” He slapped the itinerary.
Hermione put her hands on her hips, always a bad sign.
“It is supposed to be a romantic weekend, Severus,” she said agitatedly, “we have to do romantic things!”
Severus still scowled stubbornly.
Hermione resorted to logic.
“Cuttlesbury Park is small, secluded, and doesn’t have any tables, swings, ponds or other extras that attract large amounts of visitors. It is more like a cordoned off plot of land and is almost always empty. Most wizard families visit other parks that are more fun, accessible and close to the village. There are a lot of trees and bushes there. Places to hide. Draco will take advantage of that setting. We could count on him attacking us there, and be ready for him. All we have to do is leave this itinerary where he can find it. You know he will be having us watched.”
“But, Madam Puddifoot\'s?” Severus said again, weakly. He knew she was right. But he abhorred that shop. All the pink, and lovesick patrons smooching over small tables, drinking that detestable tea. Mostly students too. He’d stick out like a giant at a dwarf reunion.
“It will drive Draco wild,” Hermione said, “to see you with me, happy and in love after Voldemort’s death. He’ll be foaming at the mouth. And you know anger makes anyone sloppy. He may make a mistake that will make this whole thing easier.’
“All right. Fine. I’ll follow the damned itinerary,” Severus conceded, frowning darkly. He could almost feel the painful snip of his manhood being surgically removed. . He stiffly allowed Hermione to kiss him on the cheek in obvious glee.
“But after this, I expect never to have to set foot in that shop of horrors again,” he said, glaring at Hermione.
“Never,” she replied, kissing him again. He was slightly mollified.
”And I refuse to pick roses.”
“No roses,” she said, knowing better than to smile.
“Fine. Now let’s go see Albus.” He said, standing up, grabbing her arm and pulling her toward the floo, caveman style, angry over the concessions he had to make. Madam Puddifoot’s of all places!
Hermione followed meekly along, hiding her grin.
*****************************
Hermione arrived in the Headmaster’s office first. She staggered from the floo as if flung, and skidded to a stop. A stony-faced Severus stepped through the fireplace behind her.
Albus sat at his desk, smiling as if Hermione hadn’t been thrown into his office. Good afternoon, Miss Granger, Severus.
“Headmaster, “ Severus answered, nodding.
Hermione smiled at Dumbledore, and took a seat in front of his desk. Severus remained standing.
“We leave for Hogsmeade tomorrow, Headmaster. All the arrangements have been made, and Hermione has come up with a plan to insure the ambush occurs at a location of choice.” Severus said, gesturing toward the young witch.
Albus leaned forward, looking at Hermione, smiling, “Has she really? Please tell me how you’ve managed this, Miss Granger.”
Severus produced the list and handed it to the Headmaster. Albus read over it, and looked up at Hermione over his glasses.
“Once again, Hermione, your sense of organization has proved to be crucial to your success. Draco will not be able to resist ambushing you at Cuttlesbury Park. You have managed to place the advantage securely in yours and Severus’ own hands. Well done.”
Hermione blushed. “Thank you, Headmaster.”
Albus took a piece of parchment out of his robe pocket and spread it on his desk. He then took out his wand, and pointed it at the two. “Substansia” he said, flicking the wand at them. Hermione was aware of a tingling sensation, and a sense of something being pulled from her body. Severus stood silently, evidently undergoing the same experience.
Albus then tapped the parchment. “Locus!”
Lines began to appear on the parchment, flowing around the page. Words appeared. “Dumbledore’s Office” Two sets of green footprints materialized. Beneath them the names ‘Granger‘ and ‘Snape’ emerged.
“A marauder’s map!” Hermione breathed, impressed. She had never seen one created before.
Albus shook his head, “Not a marauders map, Miss Granger. This parchment only focuses on yours and Severus’ location. It does not show others. I will use this to keep track of your whereabouts, so when the time comes I can send assistance.”
Albus passed his wand over the parchment in an intricate pattern, muttering words that Hermione couldn’t quite make out.
Finished, Dumbledore looked up at them and said, “I placed a visual signature on the map. When your footsteps turn yellow, it will mean you are in mild, but manageable danger. When they turn red, you are entering into a very dangerous situation, and when they blink you will be in dire straits and in need of assistance. An alarm will sound, and I will send the Order to your location immediately. They will be at a state of readiness and will apparate to your aid in a matter of seconds. I suspect your footprints will turn yellow when you arrive at Hogsmeade proper, and remain that way until you meet your enemies.”
Severus stepped forward to examine the map. On the parchment, his footsteps walked forward, he was now next to Hermione rather than behind her.
“Excellent,” he said briefly, looking up at the Headmaster.
Albus folded up the map, and placed it back in his pocket. He walked around his desk and took Hermione’s hand, raising her from the chair and embracing her. His eyes were wet with emotion.
“Use every skill you have, Miss Granger and come back safe to us,” he said, letting go of her reluctantly. He stepped to Severus and offered his hand, which the Potions Master took firmly.
“You watch out for yourself and Miss Granger, Severus. We have found you again, and don’t want to lose you. You are valued…and loved. Destroy this threat, and make it back in one piece, my boy.”
“Yes, Headmaster,” Severus said, lowering his eyes, unable to bear the emotion in the Headmaster’s intense gaze.
“We should go now,” Severus said, taking Hermione’s hand and walking to the floo.
“The gods be with you both,” said Dumbledore, sitting back down at his desk and removing his wet glasses.
“Goodbye, Headmaster,” said Hermione softly. They stepped through the floo.
***************************
They had a subdued dinner in the Great Hall that night. Neither Hermione nor Severus spoke much. They listened to the conversations of their fellow staff members, who had no idea that this could possibly be the last time they would see the Potions Master and Spell Mistress, and chattered on incessantly, commenting to each other at the couple’s silence.
“Must have had a spat,” said Flitwick to Minerva.
“I wouldn’t doubt it,” said Minerva stuffily, scowling at Severus, “that man probably says anything to the poor girl. He is very controlling. I hope he doesn’t break her spirit.”
“I highly doubt that, Minerva,” said Dumbledore, who had been listening to the exchange, “Miss Granger’s spirit seems intact, and is part of what attracted Severus to her in the first place. I doubt he would want her any other way than what she is. Brilliant and formidable.”
Minerva harrumphed and fell silent, her lips compressed to a thin line.
Dumbledore chuckled, and returned to his meal.
Minerva still frowned at the Potions Master. She didn’t approve of Severus taking Hermione into Hogsmeade to tempt Draco. It was too dangerous. Anything could go wrong. But, there was little she could do about it, but be prepared like the other Order members, to go to their aid. But if anything happened to Hermione, someone would dearly pay!
*************************
That evening, after their workout, Severus and Hermione returned to their individual rooms, where they each showered separately. Hermione returned to Severus’ rooms, walked through his study, then to his bedroom. Severus was lying in bed in his boxers, his hands clasped behind his head, staring up at the ceiling in deep thought.
“Mind if I sleep with you tonight?” Hermione asked him from the doorway.
He looked at her. “Every night, if you wished,” he replied, moving over slightly.
Hermione removed her robe, and draped it over a chair, then joined him in the four-poster, curling against him. He placed his arm around her and pulled her closer, sniffing her hair, enjoying the now familiar scent of jasmine. He lowered his head and placed his lips to hers, kissing her gently. She returned his kiss sweetly, her amber eyes closing, losing herself in him. Responding to her subtle surrender, he deepened the kiss, tasting her with his tongue, reveling in the warmth and acceptance of her mouth. He felt himself hardening. He began to pull her closer, when he felt her gently pulling back.
“Severus?” she said softly.
“Yes, Hermione?” he replied gently.
“Could you hold me? Just let me feel your heart beating against mine. That is what I need tonight. Just to be here…with you. Please,” she whispered, her voice trembling with emotion.
He sighed. “Of course, Hermione. I will always give you what you need.”
He embraced her, pulling her on top of him so her head rested on his chest, and she could hear his beating heart. He understood this, her need to feel him warm and alive beneath her, when possible death awaited them both. She wanted him to want her outside the lust and animal passion. She needed to feel he loved her without having to take her time and time again.
And he did. He truly did. If he never, ever touched her intimately again, he knew he would forever love Hermione Granger.
********************************
A/N: A bit of tenderness was definitely in order. But, maybe the night before the battle will require a bit more life affirmation…if you get my drift
*****************************
Chapter 22 ~ Last Day at Hogwarts
On Friday afternoon, the class of Severus Snape left the classroom in rushed but stunned silence. The Potions Master sat at his desk, arms folded, a slight smirk on his face. He had let the students out of class after only five minutes, and for the first time in Hogwarts history, he hadn’t assigned a weekend parchment to accompany their reading.
“But, on Monday, expect a quiz on the topic,” he stated imperiously to the astonished class, “and if you all do well, perhaps I will repeat this little experiment at another time. You are all dismissed. Be punctual on Monday.”
The class sat immobile, shock on their faces.
“What are you all gaping at me for? Go!” he roared.
The startled students hurried gathered up their books, chairs scraping, bodies bumping and fled the room. The ensuing silence was palpable.
The truth was Severus had a lot to do this evening. He and Hermione were leaving for Hogsmeade tomorrow. He had to speak one last time with Dumbledore, and meet Hermione to discuss some new idea she had concerning the potential ambush.
He unrolled the parchment on his desk, and looked it over. It was his last will and testament. In the event of his death, he had deeded all his worldly goods to one Hermione Granger, to be used as she saw fit. In the event of both their deaths, his holdings were to be dissolved and the monies placed in trust under the name of the Granger-Snape Foundation, and utilized to ensure bright, underprivileged students could continue their studies after graduating Hogwarts in the fields of spell development and/or potions. He would owl it to his solicitor in the morning. Even if he survived, he wanted his worldly possessions distributed this way. It gave him pleasure to think Hermione would be provided for. He was sure she would approve of the foundation as well.
He re-rolled the parchment and deposited it in the upper right-hand drawer. That done, he walked through the Potions lab and into the Spell lab, where he found Hermione furiously writing notes with one hand, while levitating a small, glowing golden stone with her wand in the other. He watched her, so focused on her work that she didn’t notice his entrance, and his heart tightened. He knew there was a chance that they might not succeed in thwarting Draco’s plan.
In the event that they could not manage an escape, he had created a powerful poison that could be taken beforehand, but would not go into effect unless the user invoked it by saying the word, “Thantos.” It would extinguish life instantly and painlessly. If not invoked within twelve hours, the poison would be rendered harmless. He hoped there would be no need for invocation.
Hermione finished writing her notes, and slowly lowered the stone into a box, which she sealed quickly. Turning, she saw Severus, and softly smiled.
“Hello, Severus,” she said, walking up to him and planting a quick kiss on his lips.
Severus looked down at her affectionately. “Hello Hermione. What did you want to talk to me about concerning Draco?”
Hermione looked excited. “Let’s go to my rooms where we can get comfortable and I’ll tell you.”
She caught Severus by his arm and pulled him along like an over-excited child.
She practically pushed him into the cushy armchair in her study, and started pacing in front of him as she shared her idea.
“Now, we know that Draco wants to find the best place to ambush us, and his challenge is to find out where to do it. The Three Broomsticks will have too many people there to safely attack us, and I doubt if they will want to follow us en masse, they could be discovered. We need to insure that they have an opportunity…so…
She reached in her pocket and pulled out what looked like a list and handed it to Severus, who studied it for a moment.
“An itinerary?” he asked, looking up at her, “who in the world writes an itinerary for a two day stay in a local village?”
Hermione smiled, “I do. I always like to plan my days. You should have seen the study calendar I created for myself, Ron and Harry before the NEWTs. Every hour of free time was covered. What subject to be studied, what time, how long, etc, while making time for meals and quidditch practices. It was ready months before the NEWT exams. Draco knows how anal retentive I am. He wouldn’t think anything of it if he ‘accidentally’ got hold of this.”
Severus looked at the list again, scowling. “Brunch at Madam Puddifoot\'s? Window shopping? An intimate picnic in Cuttlesbury Park? Flower Picking? Gods, Hermione, this list of activities makes me look…well…pussy-whipped.”
Hermione looked at him in surprise.
“Severus! Where did you even learn that word? That’s a muggle word.”
“I picked it up somewhere,” he groused, “it seems the perfect word to describe…following this.” He slapped the itinerary.
Hermione put her hands on her hips, always a bad sign.
“It is supposed to be a romantic weekend, Severus,” she said agitatedly, “we have to do romantic things!”
Severus still scowled stubbornly.
Hermione resorted to logic.
“Cuttlesbury Park is small, secluded, and doesn’t have any tables, swings, ponds or other extras that attract large amounts of visitors. It is more like a cordoned off plot of land and is almost always empty. Most wizard families visit other parks that are more fun, accessible and close to the village. There are a lot of trees and bushes there. Places to hide. Draco will take advantage of that setting. We could count on him attacking us there, and be ready for him. All we have to do is leave this itinerary where he can find it. You know he will be having us watched.”
“But, Madam Puddifoot\'s?” Severus said again, weakly. He knew she was right. But he abhorred that shop. All the pink, and lovesick patrons smooching over small tables, drinking that detestable tea. Mostly students too. He’d stick out like a giant at a dwarf reunion.
“It will drive Draco wild,” Hermione said, “to see you with me, happy and in love after Voldemort’s death. He’ll be foaming at the mouth. And you know anger makes anyone sloppy. He may make a mistake that will make this whole thing easier.’
“All right. Fine. I’ll follow the damned itinerary,” Severus conceded, frowning darkly. He could almost feel the painful snip of his manhood being surgically removed. . He stiffly allowed Hermione to kiss him on the cheek in obvious glee.
“But after this, I expect never to have to set foot in that shop of horrors again,” he said, glaring at Hermione.
“Never,” she replied, kissing him again. He was slightly mollified.
”And I refuse to pick roses.”
“No roses,” she said, knowing better than to smile.
“Fine. Now let’s go see Albus.” He said, standing up, grabbing her arm and pulling her toward the floo, caveman style, angry over the concessions he had to make. Madam Puddifoot’s of all places!
Hermione followed meekly along, hiding her grin.
*****************************
Hermione arrived in the Headmaster’s office first. She staggered from the floo as if flung, and skidded to a stop. A stony-faced Severus stepped through the fireplace behind her.
Albus sat at his desk, smiling as if Hermione hadn’t been thrown into his office. Good afternoon, Miss Granger, Severus.
“Headmaster, “ Severus answered, nodding.
Hermione smiled at Dumbledore, and took a seat in front of his desk. Severus remained standing.
“We leave for Hogsmeade tomorrow, Headmaster. All the arrangements have been made, and Hermione has come up with a plan to insure the ambush occurs at a location of choice.” Severus said, gesturing toward the young witch.
Albus leaned forward, looking at Hermione, smiling, “Has she really? Please tell me how you’ve managed this, Miss Granger.”
Severus produced the list and handed it to the Headmaster. Albus read over it, and looked up at Hermione over his glasses.
“Once again, Hermione, your sense of organization has proved to be crucial to your success. Draco will not be able to resist ambushing you at Cuttlesbury Park. You have managed to place the advantage securely in yours and Severus’ own hands. Well done.”
Hermione blushed. “Thank you, Headmaster.”
Albus took a piece of parchment out of his robe pocket and spread it on his desk. He then took out his wand, and pointed it at the two. “Substansia” he said, flicking the wand at them. Hermione was aware of a tingling sensation, and a sense of something being pulled from her body. Severus stood silently, evidently undergoing the same experience.
Albus then tapped the parchment. “Locus!”
Lines began to appear on the parchment, flowing around the page. Words appeared. “Dumbledore’s Office” Two sets of green footprints materialized. Beneath them the names ‘Granger‘ and ‘Snape’ emerged.
“A marauder’s map!” Hermione breathed, impressed. She had never seen one created before.
Albus shook his head, “Not a marauders map, Miss Granger. This parchment only focuses on yours and Severus’ location. It does not show others. I will use this to keep track of your whereabouts, so when the time comes I can send assistance.”
Albus passed his wand over the parchment in an intricate pattern, muttering words that Hermione couldn’t quite make out.
Finished, Dumbledore looked up at them and said, “I placed a visual signature on the map. When your footsteps turn yellow, it will mean you are in mild, but manageable danger. When they turn red, you are entering into a very dangerous situation, and when they blink you will be in dire straits and in need of assistance. An alarm will sound, and I will send the Order to your location immediately. They will be at a state of readiness and will apparate to your aid in a matter of seconds. I suspect your footprints will turn yellow when you arrive at Hogsmeade proper, and remain that way until you meet your enemies.”
Severus stepped forward to examine the map. On the parchment, his footsteps walked forward, he was now next to Hermione rather than behind her.
“Excellent,” he said briefly, looking up at the Headmaster.
Albus folded up the map, and placed it back in his pocket. He walked around his desk and took Hermione’s hand, raising her from the chair and embracing her. His eyes were wet with emotion.
“Use every skill you have, Miss Granger and come back safe to us,” he said, letting go of her reluctantly. He stepped to Severus and offered his hand, which the Potions Master took firmly.
“You watch out for yourself and Miss Granger, Severus. We have found you again, and don’t want to lose you. You are valued…and loved. Destroy this threat, and make it back in one piece, my boy.”
“Yes, Headmaster,” Severus said, lowering his eyes, unable to bear the emotion in the Headmaster’s intense gaze.
“We should go now,” Severus said, taking Hermione’s hand and walking to the floo.
“The gods be with you both,” said Dumbledore, sitting back down at his desk and removing his wet glasses.
“Goodbye, Headmaster,” said Hermione softly. They stepped through the floo.
***************************
They had a subdued dinner in the Great Hall that night. Neither Hermione nor Severus spoke much. They listened to the conversations of their fellow staff members, who had no idea that this could possibly be the last time they would see the Potions Master and Spell Mistress, and chattered on incessantly, commenting to each other at the couple’s silence.
“Must have had a spat,” said Flitwick to Minerva.
“I wouldn’t doubt it,” said Minerva stuffily, scowling at Severus, “that man probably says anything to the poor girl. He is very controlling. I hope he doesn’t break her spirit.”
“I highly doubt that, Minerva,” said Dumbledore, who had been listening to the exchange, “Miss Granger’s spirit seems intact, and is part of what attracted Severus to her in the first place. I doubt he would want her any other way than what she is. Brilliant and formidable.”
Minerva harrumphed and fell silent, her lips compressed to a thin line.
Dumbledore chuckled, and returned to his meal.
Minerva still frowned at the Potions Master. She didn’t approve of Severus taking Hermione into Hogsmeade to tempt Draco. It was too dangerous. Anything could go wrong. But, there was little she could do about it, but be prepared like the other Order members, to go to their aid. But if anything happened to Hermione, someone would dearly pay!
*************************
That evening, after their workout, Severus and Hermione returned to their individual rooms, where they each showered separately. Hermione returned to Severus’ rooms, walked through his study, then to his bedroom. Severus was lying in bed in his boxers, his hands clasped behind his head, staring up at the ceiling in deep thought.
“Mind if I sleep with you tonight?” Hermione asked him from the doorway.
He looked at her. “Every night, if you wished,” he replied, moving over slightly.
Hermione removed her robe, and draped it over a chair, then joined him in the four-poster, curling against him. He placed his arm around her and pulled her closer, sniffing her hair, enjoying the now familiar scent of jasmine. He lowered his head and placed his lips to hers, kissing her gently. She returned his kiss sweetly, her amber eyes closing, losing herself in him. Responding to her subtle surrender, he deepened the kiss, tasting her with his tongue, reveling in the warmth and acceptance of her mouth. He felt himself hardening. He began to pull her closer, when he felt her gently pulling back.
“Severus?” she said softly.
“Yes, Hermione?” he replied gently.
“Could you hold me? Just let me feel your heart beating against mine. That is what I need tonight. Just to be here…with you. Please,” she whispered, her voice trembling with emotion.
He sighed. “Of course, Hermione. I will always give you what you need.”
He embraced her, pulling her on top of him so her head rested on his chest, and she could hear his beating heart. He understood this, her need to feel him warm and alive beneath her, when possible death awaited them both. She wanted him to want her outside the lust and animal passion. She needed to feel he loved her without having to take her time and time again.
And he did. He truly did. If he never, ever touched her intimately again, he knew he would forever love Hermione Granger.
********************************
A/N: A bit of tenderness was definitely in order. But, maybe the night before the battle will require a bit more life affirmation…if you get my drift