When Living Ain\'t Easy

A/N: First off, another apology... such that it is. I can\'t very well speed up the rate of recovery from this blasted cold, and my kids are wearing me down with school events. Tonight is the last football game of the season, though, so things should calm down soon enough.

Second, I\'ve recently found a couple of other HP stories where the concept of a Voldie VooDoo doll was used. I can honestly say that I had not read them prior to jotting down my chapters on the idea. Any similarities found between WLAE and other fanfiction is purely accidental. So... does that disclaimer cover my arse? *lol*

And last, a huge bearhug of thanks to all who have reviewed. Your encouragement and understanding has kept me going through some rather difficult personal problems. I seldom ask for critiques and comments, but will gladly accept whatever you wonderful readers choose to offer :)

This isn\'t a terribly long chapter, nor is it important to the overall storyline, but I needed a dose of slapstick. Hope you all get a giggle or two as well.

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Chapter Twenty-One: There\'s a Pebble in My Shoe...

It was shortly after noon when the triad separated at last, though none felt the passage of time. Severus excused himself to the kitchen to start a late lunch, while Lucius set about preparing for the tests they were still determined to put Harry through.

This left the Gryffindor free to take a shower; he dearly wanted some time alone under hot, pounding water after the morning\'s trials. Gathering fresh clothes and his bag of toiletries, he opened the bathroom door and set everything on the counter. His mind blissfully blank of all the worrisome thoughts from earlier, he hummed as he stuck his hand past the shower curtain to start the water. Harry\'s peace was broke as the first burst of cool water hit... and a sound somewhat like a drenched cat erupted from behind the curtain.

\"Bloody buggerin\' hell!\" were the first understandable words. \"Salazar save me from clueless Gryffies... Harry, turn that *OFF*!\"

Sheepishly, the brunet did as commanded. Harry\'s apologies died on his tongue, however, as the shower curtain was thrown back and he got his first glimpse of Draco\'s interrupted ablutions. A cough turned into a chuckle, hastily covered by both hands, which turned into pure snorting-soda-through-the-nose laughter.

Draco\'s face was set in mortified irritation -- at least, that was the expression that came across through a thick layer of green facial mask. His pale blond hair was kept out of the caked muck by dozens of pins and clips. Both hands were coated in a thin \'glove\' of parafin wax, with a second type of wax dotted across his chest. Wedges of sponge were stuck between each toe, where the smudged remnants of a soft coral nail polish could be seen raked over several pruned digits. To top off the vastly entertaining spectacle, the blond seemed to be wearing some sort of plastic pants -- a fact that Harry was eternally grateful for, even as it sent his laughter into hysterical mode.

\"Yes, fine, you\'ve caught me with my pants down. Now, if you would be so kind as to leave the room for five minutes, I\'ll finish up and vacate so you can have your turn in the shower,\" the Malfoy heir said in his most pompous voice. The desired effect of returning some small portion of dignity fell short of the mark. How seriously can a person be taken in such a state?

Harry backed out of the loo, still laughing manically, and shut the door on his fuming roommate. Doubled over with tears streaming down his face, he literally fell into a firm body.

\"Harryy, whatever is the problem?\" Lucius asked, concern evident on his face. He pulled the Gryffindor back to standing, holding the shaking form close.

Dark hair shook under the patrician nose as Harry held on for dear life. It was almost as amusing that Lucius had misunderstood the sounds he was making.

\"Please love, just tell me. We\'ll fix it, whatever\'s upset you this time.\"

Hiccoughing loudly into the older man\'s chest, Harry almost choked on a flash of imagery: Father and son trading beauty tips while having their legs waxed. His wail of hilarity caused the blond\'s arms to tighten, and forced Harry to gulp desperate gasps of air into his burning lungs.

Before Lucius could summon a Calming Draught, the bathroom door opened, revealing his very damp, very disgruntled son. The younger Malfoy took in his classmate\'s condition and retaliated with a dramatic eyeroll and a sharp slap to the back of Harry\'s head.

\"Oh get over it, Potty,\" he grumbled, pulling his robe tight around his damp body. Flecks of green still stuck to his hairline, it didn\'t take Lucius long to add up the facts. His father\'s more discrete snort only made Draco more surly, with the younger Slytherin turning on his toes to flounce off to the bedroom, muttering all the way about inconsiderate Gryffindors and disloyal parents.

Lucius found himself more entertained than insulted, and contented himself with rubbing the thin, shaking shoulders. No sooner had the bedroom door slammed shut than Severus stuck his head into the hall. Lucius grinned at him over Harry\'s head, explaining in a too-loud voice, \"Harry walked in on my son\'s weekly \'treatment.\' As you might recall, such a sight has a rather dramatic effect on people.\"

Severus smirked, then snorted a loud bark of laughter. \"Indeed. If Draco manages to survive this humiliation, I foresee a bright future for him in the realm of beauty salons.\"

Something that sounded suspiciously like \'sod off\' came from behind the closed door, setting the trio off once again.

Harry\'s explosion tapered into hiccups and the occassional giggle. His eyes opened to long blond hair, confirming the owner of the body holding him so carefully. As he lifted his head, Severus gave him a small smile of acknowledgement before returning to the kitchen, leaving Harry and Lucius alone to deal with this latest episode.

\"Feeling better, Harry?\" Lucius asked softly, his breath tickling the brunet\'s ear.

A shiver of desire lanced down Harry\'s spine, circling his pelvis and weaking his knees, before taking up permanent residence in his shorts. How could something as simple as three innocent words whispered into his ear produce such an instant arousal? He stifled the moan that wanted to come out, forcing himself to step away from the blond.

\"Yeah, I\'m fine now, Lucius. It was just such a surprise, y\'know? And don\'t tell Draco, but I\'d forgotten he was around.\"

Lucius\' grin broadened and he leaned toward Harry to say, in a low voice, \"Your secrets are safe with me.\" He let his lips brush lightly against the famous lightning bolt scar, then turned to join his contemporary in the kitchen.

On legs that felt jelly-jinxed, Harry shut himself into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. None of his admittedly limited experience with sexual contact had prepared him for the intensity of what he had felt with Severus and Lucius. He briefly considered a cold shower to rid himself of his aching erection, but on second thought decided to exorcise it a more pleasurable way.

Starting the shower again, he placed his soap and shampoo on the ledge and quickly stipped -- lunch would be ready soon, and he didn\'t want to make anyone wait for him. But first... to take care of his \'problem\'.

Stepping under the steamy spray, all his nerves seemed to thrum with the beat of his painful hardon. Harry leaned against the tiled wall and grabbed the soap, working up a thick lather. He stroked across his neck (remembering Lucius\' breath against his skin), along both arms (that fit so well around Severus\' body), down his chest (and when did his nipples become so sensative?)

Ignoring his need long enough to wash both legs and feet, he worked down the front and up the back, his fingers meeting at the cleft of his arse. Only once before had he dared explore this area of his body, but after Draco\'s tale -- and the resulting dream -- he spread his cheeks apart, carefully rubbing one finger against his pucker. The blast of arousal nearly knocked him to his knees!

Moaning softly, he rubbed harder, not quite pushing past the tight ring of muscle. With eyes closed, he could almost imagine Severus\' long finger teasing him, gently but with promise. Almost against his will, one hand moved back to his groin, cupping his ball sac with just enough pressure. Pre-come leaked steadily from his untouched cock, but he wasn\'t quite ready to end the delicious torment.

Rolling his testicles with one hand, he pressed that one finger into his arse. The slight burn did nothing to ease his desire, enflaming him with visions of either older wizard preparing his body to accept them. His moans grew louder as his finger moved carefully in and out, eventually up to the knuckle. When had he gripped his penis? No matter, he needed the release, soon!

Wiggling back against the invading digit, he brushed against a thick knot inside... and saw stars explode behind his eyelids. Only by biting his lip did Harry stifle the surprised scream of pleasure. His hand moved faster along his erection, his finger rubbing that bundle of heaven, and soon -- way too soon -- he erupted over his stomach and chest.

When his eyes finally opened, Harry realized he had somehow slid down in the tub. He allowed a few minutes to let his breathing get back to normal before he tried to stand, only then realizing that he still had a finger in his arse. Aroudn his blush, Harry laughed at himself. If this was what happened solo, he could look forward to some earth-shattering orgasms at the hands of those two experienced wizards.

Happily humming at that conclusion, he finished his shower and dressed before joining the Slytherins for lunch.

Three amused smirks greeted him in the kitchen. As his face burned with embarassment, Harry realized he had forgotte to use silencing charms.

Severus spoke first, breaking the tension, \"I do hope you\'ve worked up an appetite, Harry.\"

Unable to say anything in his own defense, the Gryffindor slumped into a chair and attempted to hide behind a mound of food.

Most of the meal found one or more wizard chuckling -- not unkind, but definitely at Harry\'s expense -- breaking the soudns of four hungry men. When Harry got up to collect the used dishes, Draco pulled him down to stage whisper, \"Thanks Potty. I don\'t feel quite as bad sharing the spotlight of shame after your stellar performance.\"

Harry\'s cheeks flamed crimson again, but before he could stammer... some sort of rebuttal, Lucius warned his son, \"None of that, Draco, or we\'ll have a little discussion about your nail polish.\"

Harry took a wide berth around the sputtering blond, arms loads with plates.