What I\'ve Always Known

Disclaimer: I do not own anything but the plot. AND NOW HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE.


A/N: Well ladies and gents, I am leaving for a vacation pretty soon, but I will try to post a new chapter before I leave and have one ready to post for when I return, which will be sometime around the thirtieth. Love to all you lovely reviewers out there. When I win the lottery, I will clone all the Harry Potter stars and send you each a set.


Confessions


The cold air of the dungeon passageways cooled Hermione’s hot tears on her cheeks as she tore through them, hastily buttoning up her shirt. She furiously wiped her tears away and wrapped her robes tighter around her as she emerged into the Entrance Hall. Grateful for the lack of students, she raked her fingers through her hair as she took the marble stairs two and a time.

She arrived at the Fat Lady’s portrait panting and still barely in control of the flood of confusion, anger and hurt threatening to spill over and come out in the form of tears. Taking a deep breath to collect herself, she checked herself one last time before giving the Fat Lady the password and climbing through the portrait hole.

“’Mione!” Hermione scanned the room to locate the person who had shouted her name. Her eyes fell on a waving hand over Parvarti’s head. Weaving her way through various excited, chattering people, Hermione finally battled her way through the throng to
a table in the very furthest corner of the room. Harry and Ginny grinned at her as she approached. Ron nodded with a small smile. Hermione tried to grin back at them all; feeling the muscles in her face may tear from the effort.

“We’ve been looking all over for you!” Harry said, and pulled a chair out. “Sit down for a sec-“

“Actually,” Ginny said loudly, not taking her eyes off Hermione’s face.” Are you up for a walk Hermione?”

Hermione felt her stomach drop through her feet. Ginny was practically staring a hole through her head; she knew something was wrong.

“Gin, I’m pretty tired. I think I should just be heading to bed.” With that she started to back towards the girls dorms. But like any other Weasley, Ginny was not one to be so easily thrown off course.

“It won’t take long really, just a quick stroll.” Ginny said in a brisk tone. And with that she was out of her seat and right by Hermione’s side. With a curt nod, she looped her arm through Hermione’s and steered her back the way she had come. Once they were outside the portrait hole and around the corner, Ginny stopped her.

“What happened?” She demanded. Hermione played the dumb card.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean with Malfoy, and don’t even try to pretend that’s not where you just were, I know you much better than that Hermione Jane Granger.”

“Ginny please, nothing happened.”

“Then why is your shirt buttoned the wrong way, your cheeks streaky, and your eyes all red and puffy?”

Hermione stood there, blinking stupidly. Numbly she looked down at her shirt. Sure enough, the buttons were uneven, giving her a disheveled appearance, despite her previous efforts.

“It’s nothing, Draco and I just had a little row.” Hermione said resignedly.

“About?”

Hermione looked up at her friend and saw nothing but concern and sympathy. All of a sudden, the words came tumbling out of her mouth, over-lapping each other in her rush to release them. Ginny merely listened, nodding at the appropriate intervals. By the time she finished, Hermione was sitting on a windowsill, gripping two fists of hair with her head between her knees.

“Although the moment strongly calls for it, I will refrain from saying I told you so…or at least for the time being.” Ginny said casually.

“Thank you.” Hermione grimaced.

“What are you doing here?” Ginny asked in a very harsh tone. Hermione’s resting eyes shot open. She would have thought it was quite obvious why she was here.

“What the bloody hell are you-“Hermione stopped mid-sentence as she sat up. Ginny’s question was not directed at her after all. It was directed at a tall, blonde Slytherin boy standing four feet down the hall. It was directed at none other than Draco Malfoy.

Hermione’s stomach bubbled with anger and humiliation. She could feel her cheeks burning even as her back froze from resting against the window.

“Hermione…Weas-er-Ginny, could you give us a minute?” Draco asked strongly.

Ginny glanced at Hermione, who had not taken her eyes off Draco since she noticed him, and started to turn to leave.

“No, she couldn’t.” Hermione said just as strongly. Ginny stopped dead in her tracks.

“Hermione-“Draco began, stepping into the silver moonlight.

“Stop. I’m not worth your time, not even a minute. Remember?” Hermione spoke every word with cold unattachment. She lowered herself off the windowsill and made her way back to the Fat Lady. Ginny matched her stride, reaching over to squeeze her hand in encouragement.

Ignoring Draco’s following steps; Hermione climbed through the portrait hole after Ginny, and made her way up to bed. Ginny tried to convince her to come with her to talk with Harry and Ron, but Hermione was firm. She was exhausted, she was confused, and she was going to bed.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~


The next morning passed in a flurry of packing for all the Hogwarts students who were boarding the train just after breakfast. It seemed in no time at all, Hermione was making her way down the marble staircase, letting her trunk thunk down after her. Swiftly she made her way out the doors to the carriages outside where Harry, Ron, Ginny and Neville were all waiting for her.

With a cold shudder, she eyed the Thestrals pulling the carriages. Just last year she had not been able to see them, yet it seemed like a lifetime ago. She had certainly matured considerably since then, whether she liked it or not.

“Farewell Hogwarts, until we meet again!” Harry called to the castle in a mystical voice while he took Hermione’s trunk and loaded
it onto the back of their carriage.

“Hermione, would you like to get in the carriage? Now?” Ginny asked. Hermione caught the insistent tone in Ginny’s voice and decided to listen, even though she didn’t have the faintest clue as to what the girl was so worked up about.

Hermione climbed into the carriage and waited for the others to join her. Neville climbed in and sat next to her right away, but the other three were still outside. Hermione had just grown impatient and was on her way back outside to demand answers to all this foolishness, when a new voice joined theirs.

“I need to see Hermione.” A silky Slytherin voice said. Neville instantly reached out and grabbed her wrist. How fast did gossip
travel in this school?

“Sorry, no can do.” Ron said, sounding peculiarly jovial.

“Ron, get in the carriage. She’s busy.” Harry said. Ron grumbled and get on the carriage, nearly colliding with Hermione. Both of them took their seats and listened closely.

“Po-Harry, I know I messed up, but she can’t understand why if you don’t allow me to talk to her.” Draco said, sounding desperate. Hermione had had enough. She parted the curtains and stuck her torso out.

“Harry, Ginny we really must be going.” She made a conscious effort to not so much as glance in Draco’s direction, but desire took over, and before she retreated back into the carriage, she found herself staring into burning silver orbs.

“Yes, yes we really must. Harry?” Ginny prompted, breaking the spell. She gave Hermione a small shove as she ascended the folding steps, Harry close behind. As soon as the carriage was full, the door shut and it lurched into motion.

The trip to Hogsmeade station was a long and uncomfortable one. The air was so thick with questions it was almost suffocating to
Hermione. All five of them were so eager to get out of that small space and onto the train that Neville threw the carriage door open before they were even fully stopped. Ginny, Ron and Neville unloaded their baggage while Harry thanked the Thestrals and Hermione went to scout out an empty compartment.

She found one and went back to lead the others to it, she was about to jump down off the train when-

*SMACK*

She ran directly into someone. A very tall someone as when she stumbled backwards, she was staring at the middle of their chest. That someone smelled familiar too.

“Excuse me Draco.” She said deadly, not taking her eyes off his sternum.

“No.”

“Wh-what?” Hermione looked up into his eyes.

“No I won’t let you past, until you talk to me.” He said, crossing his arms. Hermione was beginning to see red. First he said all those atrocious things to her, and now he was literally demanding she listen to an explanation? Well she wasn’t a Gryffindor for nothing.

“Get out of my way Malfoy or I will hex you through the wall of the station.” She said in a deadly calm voice, not batting an eyelash. Obviously Draco was not used to her directing this tone at him. His eyes widened somewhat and his eyes flicked down to her right hand, where her fingers were toying with the handle of her wand. He seemed still unwilling to move however, so instead Hermione thrust her shoulder out and continued walking, knocking him out of the way.

He didn’t reach out to stop her, or say anything. And it wasn’t until later that she realized if he had not allowed her to move him, she would have been quite unable.

“Hey ‘Mione, wanna give me a hand?” Ron asked, huffing and puffing behind his trunk. Hermione laughed; delighted at the fact Ron was starting to talk to her like he had for the last five years.

She seized one end of his trunk and backed up the stairs, leading her line of friends to the compartment. Together they wrestled their trunks up into the racks and flopped down in their seats, red in the face and fanning themselves weakly.

As the train whistle blew and pulled out of the station, they all crowded the window, taking one last look at Hogwarts for two weeks time

“Goodbye homework.” Ginny grinned.

“Good riddance Snape!” Ron cheered.

“For two weeks…” Hermione said soberly.

They all glared at her.

They spent their remaining hours together changing into more comfortable muggle clothes and playing several games of Exploding Snap. The Lunch Trolley Witch knocked on their door just as Ginny was consoling Neville who had just lost horribly to an elated Harry. Neville looked up with singed eyelashes at the witch.

“Lunch you guys?” He said, trying desperately to direct the witch’s stare anywhere else beside his blushing face. Harry chuckled and ordered cauldron cakes for all them.

“What do you reckon these are made of?” Ginny pondered aloud, looking down at her half-eaten cake.

“Dunno. Don’t suppose we’d want to either.” Ron shrugged. Suddenly he turned into his seat to Hermione. “Hey ‘Mione, could you come with me to check on Pig?” His tone had taken a complete change all in the same sentence. He sounded timid and anxious. Hermione glanced at Harry, but he was staring at Ron as though he had Leeks sprouting form his ears. Hermione shrugged nonchalantly.

“Sure. I haven’t seen him all year anyway.” She finished off her cake and followed Ron out into the hall. Ron headed back to where all animals were kept and held the door open for her. She entered and began scanning the shelves.

“No need to look. We can hear him.” Ron grimaced as shrill, spastic hooting greeted the sound of his voice. Hermione laughed at the look on his face and followed her ears to Pig’s cage. She reached through the bars and stroked his tiny head while Ron dug in his pockets for an Owl Treat.

“Ron, now that we know Pig is alright, why don’t you talk about why you really wanted to come here?” Hermione continued stroking a hooting Pig.

“What do you mean? I really wanted to check on-oh alright.” Ron changed tacks at Hermione’s snort of disbelief. “It’s just, I um, have to tell you something. You won’t like it and I don’t blame you if you-er- don’t want to talk to me or anything.”

Hermione turned to Ron, frowning. He had his hands shoved deep in his pockets and was following the path of his shoe through the dirt. His ears were red as beets.

“IwastheonetakingapotionandsosorryandI-“Ron’s words were one long blur.

“Ron, could you please adjust your speech to something somewhat slower than light speed?” Hermione’s head hurt trying to decipher all the sounds bursting from his mouth.

“Er-sorry.” Ron blushed even deeper. If any more blood rushed anywhere north of the region of his neck, Hermione was sure his head would explode. He took a deep breath and watched Pigwidgeon’s progress around his cage. “Alright, Hermione, you remember how you, Harry and Seamus all saw Malfoy kissing Pansy that one day in Hogsmeade?”

Hermione nodded. Of course she remembered it. It troubled her every single day. She couldn’t stop reliving all the details in her mind, especially now, when trust in Draco seemed like such an evasive emotion.

“Well, I got this idea in my head a while ago. I reckon I lost my head, but that was me.” He met her eyes briefly, as if gauging her reaction. Hermione remained neutral. All the pieces had not yet fallen into place for her. “It was me Hermione. I remembered how to make that Polyjuice Potion from when we made it in second year.”

Hermione’s jaw fell open. The whole scenario Ron was describing made some kind of ridiculous sense, which was odd in itself.

“You…you took it and…how did you know what was going on? With him and Pansy I mean?” Hermione asked.

“I…”Ron nervously cleared his throat. The more he talked, the more ashamed he sounded. “I followed him around. I heard Pansy talking about him all the time. Gossip isn’t all that hard to come by when you know the right girls.”

Hermione stood and let it all soak in. Ron barely moved except to poke the odd Owl Treat through the bars of Pig’s cage.

“But….I don’t get why.” It was the first time Hermione spoke in five minutes.

“I would think that was obvious given our…history before that.” Ron almost whispered, as if he was afraid that even a loud noise would send her into a rage. “I figured that if you saw would-be-Draco kissing Pansy, you would maybe end things and…I would have a chance again. I know it’s stupid. I honestly don’t know what I was thinking. I understand if you’re angry with me. I would be.”