A Reason To Be

After breakfast, Draco quickly went back up to his room. He had a plan for that afternoon; he just hoped that Harry would not interfere. When he reached his bedroom, he pulled a small box out of a drawer and went right back out again. He made his way to the hospital wing quickly and quietly. He suspected that Dumbledore had taken Potter to his study; the older man had mentioned during breakfast that it had been a long while since the two had talked. Draco peeked into the ward and breathed a sigh of relief to find it was empty. He strolled up to Hermione and greeted her as he plopped down in his chair.

“Won’t even wish me a Merry Christmas? Damn, woman! They say I’m cold-hearted.” Draco drawled sarcastically to the empty room. He sat there a moment, just looking. He noticed a bouquet of flowers in a vase at her bedside.

‘Daisies…the flower Potter would have chosen. Ugghh…they are so…happy and annoying.’ Draco thought as a somewhat disgusted look crept across his face. He quickly shook off his distaste for Harry and reached into his pants’ pocket. He extracted the small, black box he had retrieved from his room. Draco leaned forward so he was still seated in his chair but his elbows were resting on edge of Hermione’s mattress.

“In a very un-Malfoy manner, I bought Christmas gifts this year. I gave Dumbledore some whiskey, Snape some rare Potions ingredients and I gave Hagrid a new coat. I got you something as well.” Draco explained casually as he played with the box in his hands.

“There was a reason behind this gift. As I was strolling around Hogsmeade, I was trying to think what in the world one got Hermione Granger for Christmas. My first instinct was books. I decided against that for two reasons, the first being you have every book you could possible want and the second being that I would end up reading it to you and I don’t particularly want to do that. No books.” Draco paused and stopped turning the box over in his hands. He continued speaking, but in a softer voice.

“For some reason I thought of something I heard my mother once say. She said there was one thing that Muggle women had right, she said they had a saying. That diamonds were a girl’s best friend. For whatever reason I remembered that while I was shopping. My mother always said women should have diamonds, and of course she had an abundance of them. So if you’ll permit me…” Draco said quietly. He then opened the box and removed a bracelet. Diamonds and emeralds that caught the light as he moved them. Draco had chosen emeralds because he felt that it accented the sparkling white well. Plus he had always liked the color green. It had been extremely expensive; the Hogsmeade jeweler could hardly believe that a young man Draco’s age could afford just a costly purchase. It did not look as extravagant as it cost. It was simple yet beautiful. The emeralds and diamonds alternated and were joined together by a silver clasp. The stones were small but what they lacked in size they made up for in brilliance. Draco reached across the young girl and gently attached it to her left wrist.

“Merry Christmas.” Draco murmured. He laid a kiss on her hand before he placed it back in its usual resting place. Then he brushed her hair back from her face and settled back into the chair. He remained there a while longer, just sitting and watching her. The he got to his feet and stuffed the box back into his pocket. He reached forward and gently drew his fingertip down her arm to the bracelet that now lay at her wrist. He whispered his farewell and turned and left.



As the day wore on into the night, Draco became more and more depressed. He told himself over and over he really had no reason to be. It was not as if the holidays with his family had been happier. He had gotten piles upon piles of gifts but they were not happy times. Still, Draco felt an aching. He missed his past. Draco had been lounging around his room in his pajamas when he decided to break out his newly purchased bottle of whiskey. He was ready to just sit there and empty the bottle but he also thought that he was a little hungry. So he grabbed the bottle and made his way to the kitchen for a snack and a glass. He made it to the picture of the pear and opened it. When he stepped in he let out a loud groan. Sitting at a small table near the pantry was Harry Potter.

“Oh fuck, what are you doing here?!?” Draco groaned. Harry looked up from his uneaten sandwich and rolled his eyes. Apparently he was as thrilled to see Malfoy as Malfoy was to see him.

“What does it look like, Malfoy? I’m eating.” Harry grumbled, looking back at his sandwich and butterbeer. Draco sighed unhappily and walked in. He walked up to the table and slammed the bottle down. Of course Harry was the last person on earth he had wanted to see. Especially after the way Potter had spoken to him at breakfast.

“How did you know how to get in here?” Draco demanded. Students did not have access to the kitchen. The only reason he knew where it was because this was now his home. Harry said nothing at first. Draco looked at him and concluded that he looked just about as bad as he felt. His hair was exceptionally messy. His skin looked clammy and there were dark circles under his eyes. Draco had circles under his eyes for months, he hardly noticed them now. Finally, without looking up, Harry answered him.

“Fred and George Weasley showed me.” Harry answered in a tired voice. Draco said nothing at first; he continued to size Potter up. Then, not knowing why then or ever, Draco pulled out the wooden chair and sat down opposite Harry. He eased down into the chair as if he was fifty and then he sighed heavily.

“Now that they are gone I admit that they were masters of their craft.” Draco admitted quietly. He looked over at Harry and saw him chuckle slightly.

“Yes they were.” Harry replied. The two sat silently for a few moments until Harry looked up at Draco and brushed his wild, brown hair out of his eyes.

“I didn’t know that you lived here at Hogwarts permanently. I thought you lived with other family members.” Harry said. He wasn’t going to say he was sorry, that was as close to an apology that Draco was going to get. Harry was sorry though. He had no idea about any of it, and as soon as he had heard those words from Draco’s mouth he knew he had stuck his foot in his mouth. Later on, in his study, Dumbledore had explained in further detail exactly why Draco was now a full-time resident of Hogwarts.

“I know.” Draco replied, looking at the dark liquid in the bottle in front of him. He could tell by the tone of Harry’s voice that he was sorry about what he said.

“Why didn’t you go with the Weasel for the holidays?” Draco ventured. Harry shook his head and sighed.

“Dumbledore didn’t think it was safe. What with Voldemort and the Death Eaters all about, he wanted me to stay at the school.” Harry explained bitterly. Draco could tell very easily that Harry was none too happy about it either. Draco also knew that Dumbledore was right. If Malfoy knew anything about Death Eaters, he knew that the holidays would have been the perfect time to catch them by surprise and that is just what they would have done. He said nothing though, only nodded his head. His thoughts started wondering to his father, the Death Eaters, and Voldemort.

“At least you have the luxury of not hiding your allegiance, Potter. Some cannot say the same.” Draco said finally, in a quiet but grave tone. Harry looked at him with a confused expression.

“What are you on about?” Harry asked. He could not fathom what the hell Malfoy was talking about. Draco heaved a sigh, annoyed at how dense Potter could be.

“You are Harry fucking Potter. If Voldemort was on one side of a coin, you’d be on the other bloody side. Everyone knows that you oppose him, that you have fought him and will again. Someone else, for instance…me, is not so lucky. Someone who was raised from birth to become a Death Eater. Who is expected to have the Mark on his arm the moment he is of age. I’m a Malfoy, years of evil is dictating what I must do.” Draco said impatiently. He had never gone out and said this to anyone. It was pure fact though.

“It’s really a shame that it is not what I want.” Draco added in a voice barely above a whisper. He did not know why he was telling this to Harry Potter; of all people. He had never spoken of these things to anyone. Harry reached forward and grabbed his butterbeer. He took a swig and then set it back down in front of him.

“You think I want this? I never asked for any of it, just like you never asked for it. You’ve no idea how much it blows to be Harry fucking Potter.” Harry softly but his voice was intense. He meant every word of it. He knew what it was like to live a life you never asked for or wanted to begin with. His life was not easy. He hated being the Boy Who Lived. What he really wanted was to be a normal little boy with his mum and dad and that was it. No such luck. Draco listened to him and finally understood. Though nothing would change the immense dislike he had for Potter, Draco did now have a shred of respect for him.

“Well what is there to be done about it? Both our lives are shit for several reasons.” Draco finally stated, he really said it more to himself than anything but he heard Harry murmur that he did not know what to do about it. Draco settled back in his chair and looked at the table. There was only one thing he could think to do about their situation.

“Wanna get drunk, Potter?” Draco asked, He held up the bottle of whiskey he had brought in with him. Harry looked up at him and then the bottle. He mulled it over for a moment and the he ran his hand through his hair and nodded his head.

“Okay.” Harry agreed quietly. Draco got up and found two glasses. He placed one in front of Harry and the other in front of him. He sat down, unscrewed the top and poured a small amount into each glass.

“I still hate and loathe you, you know.” Draco stated as he set the bottle beside him and picked up his glass. Harry didn’t say anything at first but then chimed right in.

“Oh yes, of course. Me as well, I hope you are ripped apart by hippogriffs.” Harry added quickly. Draco downed his shot of whiskey and glared at Harry. The third year incident with Buckbeak was still a somewhat sensitive subject for Draco.

“That was a low blow, prick.” Draco growled as he filled his and Harry’s now empty glasses.

“Yes, it was.” Harry smiled and gulped down his whiskey.