Broken Smile

Broken Smile

Hermione curled her legs beneath herself and cried into her hands; she would love just for one week to go by without crying. She sat in Snape’s private storeroom as it was the only place she thought no one would come looking for her.

Hermione had been hiding in there for over two hours. In her dream her son Titan told her she was hiding; now she knows what he meant, she was hiding—she was ashamed. Hermione wasn’t sure how the rest of the school had found out about her pregnancy; the only conclusion she came to was her conversion with Madam Rosmerta, and someone must have overheard it the night before.

Maybe no one will realize she’s missing? Maybe no one cares? Hermione wished that Charlie was here; he’d fix everything. She laid her head back against the cold wall and closed her eyes.

Early on that morning Hermione had made her way to breakfast. She received a lot more stares and whispers then usually. She made her way to the Gryffindor table to sit next to Ginny like she always does at most mealtimes; the younger girl had an odd look on her face. Hermione looked across at the Slytherin table to see most of the students watching her; then Draco met her eyes.

Hermione realized her secret was out; Draco told her so with his eyes of pity. She rose from the table. Calmly she made her way out of the Great Hall, not looking at anyone and blocking out the whispers.

Hermione drifted into another dream. She sat in the Great Hall with her son on her lap. All the teachers and other students just ate the food not paying any attention to her. Draco looked over, smiling, and mouthed ‘He looks just like me.’

“Miss Granger,” said a smooth voice. “Miss Granger, wake up.” The voice became harsher. Hermione awoke with a start, her eyes opened to see a tall dark figure standing over her. “Professor…” was all she could say. She had some problems standing; next week she would be six months along, after all. “I’m sorry, sir, I fell asleep…I was…”

“You were hiding, were you not?” Snape asked, cutting her off.
“I needed some time alone; I’m sorry for coming here,” Hermione apologized.
Snape walked towards the door. “Miss Granger, follow me,” he instructed.
“But, sir…it won’t happen again,” Hermione said, not liking the note of pleading in her voice.

Snape turned back to look at her with a sneer on his face. “Do not have me repeat myself, Miss Granger,” he said and continued to walk at a fast pace. Hermione quickly followed him. They didn’t go far; only to his office. He held open the door for her and a raised an eyebrow at her hesitation.

Hermione whispered a ‘Thank you’ on her way past him and then stood by Professor Snape’s desk. “Have a seat, Miss Granger, I wouldn’t want Professor McGonagall giving me an earful for not treating her prize pupil properly,” he said with a smirk.

“I don’t think I’ve been her ‘prize pupil’ in a long time,” Hermione said softly as she sat down.

Severus Snape had never had been a kind man, though he did feel for this young woman. He still remembered her pale, shocked face from that night in the dudgeon when he found her. And her words still rang though his ears: I’m scared, sir.

Snape sat behind his desk, looking across at the last member of ‘The Dream Team,’ ‘the know-it-all.’ He had noticed she no longer believed in herself; she had seen too much to even care.

“Are we feeling sorry for yourself?” Snape asked, not meaning to sound that harsh. Hermione continued to look at her hands. “No, sir,” she answered.
“Look at me, please,” Snape asked. Hermione raised her head slowly, her brown eyes meeting his black ones.

“You knew this was going to be hard. But you chose this path anyway,” he said, trying to softening his tone. “To be honest, things will only become harder when your baby is born…”
“When HE’S born, sir,” Hermione interrupted him.
“Oh, I see,” Snape replied dryly.

“I’m sorry for…hiding in your storeroom, but in the last twenty-four hours everything has gone wrong,” Hermione told him.

“Well, hiding in my storeroom won’t make your problems go away. You are going to be a mother; if you run and hide at the first sign of trouble then neither you nor your son stand a chance,” Snape said with an emotional expression on his face.

“I lost my job yesterday…and everyone in school is talking about my pregnancy…the question on everyone’s mind is, ‘whose baby is it?’”
Hermione started to tick the name’s off on her fingers. “Is it Weasley’s or Malfoy’s or maybe it belongs to someone else, because you know what that Granger girl is like.”

The dark man stared at her; he could see the pain in her eyes as she spoke.
“And you care what other people think? I thought you had better sense than that,” Snape said, genuinely sounding disappointed.

Hermione shook her head. “You don’t understand…”
“Don’t I? You forget to whom you are speaking,” Snape began. “I once was a Death Eater. I know what it’s like to be look at like dirt, to feel completely alone; life is unfair, Miss Granger.”

“I learnt that a long time ago, sir,” Hermione said, unable to maintain eye contact; she didn’t want to cry again in front of him.
“No matter what I say I won’t be able to make things better; no one can. This may sound harsh but you are going to have to grin and bear it,” Snape told her firmly.

Hermione shook her head. “I wish I could,” she whispered.
“My advice to you, Miss Granger, is tonight at dinner you should walk into the Great Hall with your head held high. You are going to be a mother soon; if you’re ashamed then you have no business having that baby.”

Hermione took Snape’s advice, and that night she walked into the Great Hall with her head held high.

* * * * *

Two weeks later she was eating breakfast with Ginny and Dean. Of course her pregnancy was still the biggest topic around school but Hermione didn’t care; why waste time with small-minded people?

Hermione didn’t tell Charlie about what happened; she didn’t want him to worry. Though she did give him a piece of her mind about her job at the Three Broomsticks; Charlie swore he had had nothing to do with her losing her job but Hermione couldn’t wait to get home so she could made him tell her the truth.

Dean had been really nice to Hermione and stuck up for her if anyone said anything uncalled-for. Hermione kept catching Draco’s eye as she looked up but he would quickly look away. She was finishing her juice when a large black owl landed in front of her with a medium-sized envelop tied to his leg.

Hermione recognized the owl; it was named Zenith, and he belonged to Draco. She looked across at Draco but he was talking to the boy seated next to him. Hermione untied the envelope and opened it to find a note and a key.

Dear Hermione,

I know I could have spoken to you in person but I thought it would be better like this. The key belongs to the Malfoy fault in Gringotts. You deserve to have that money, to help with the baby. This money had nothing to do with my mother; it was left to me and I would like for you to have it.

Draco

Hermione dropped the note on the table and stood up with the key in her hand; as she walked over to the Slytherin table, Ginny picked up the note.
Draco watched her approach; he could tell she wasn’t happy. Hermione took hold of his hand and place the key in his palm.

“I do not need his money,” she said in a low voice; she looked to be on the verge of tears. Draco tried to take hold of her hand but she wouldn’t let him.
“Let’s talk about this in private,” he said, looking around.
Those words seem to anger Hermione. “There’s nothing to talk about. I do not need nor want his money,” she said before walking out of the hall with tears in her eyes.

Draco followed her; she had just made it through the doors when he took hold of her arm. “Hermione, I need to talk to you,” Draco said, turning her round.
Hermione tried to pull her arm away from him but he had a firm grip.
“Let go of me, Draco,” Hermione said, starting to feel scared.

Draco didn’t let go; he took hold of her other arm. “The money is no longer his—it’s mine—yours,” he said, loosening his grip a little.
“I’ve told you I want nothing to do with that money. Stop trying to help me—I’m not some sort of charity case!” Hermione yelled at him. Some students were staring at them on their way into the hall.

“Will you lower your voice? Fine, don’t take the money—I’m trying to help…” Draco tried to explain. He still had a hold of her arms; he began to rub them gently. “I don’t need your help—just leave me alone!” Hermione yelled as a few tears fell. She tried to pull away but still Draco wouldn’t let go of her.

Neither of them saw Professor Snape or Ginny watching them.
“Calm down. I’m sorry, okay?” Draco spoke softly.
“Just leave me alone,” Hermione said just as softly.
“Don’t push me away. Talk to me,” Draco said, raising her chin so he could look her in her eyes.
Hermione shook her head. “Leave me alone,” she repeated.

Hermione felt opened; over the last two weeks, old wounds had resurfaced; her life was on display once again. She hated the pitying looks more than the looks of disgust from the other students.

“You can’t keep your feelings bottled up…have you talked about what happened…that night?” Draco asked, uneasy.
Hermione pulled away from. “You want to know what happened?” she asked angrily.

Draco put his hands up. “I think you should talk about it. Keeping it inside will only make things worse…”
“Just STOP! I don’t have to talk about anything! You want to know what happened that night? HUH!” Hermione yelled.
Draco turned paler; he looked like a lost child.
“Answer me—do you want to know what happened?” Hermione repeated.

“Miss Granger, calm down.” Hermione’s head snapped to the direction of the voice.
“Professor Snape. Maybe you would like to know what happened. I mean you didn’t arrive until after…”
“Stop it, Miss Granger,” Snape demanded.

“Why? Draco said I should talk about it—so I will!” Hermione yelled, trying to hold back tears as she spoke. “I was trapped in the dungeons with him—no way of escaping—the only hope I had left was that Harry and Ron would come and rescue me—just like a fairly tale…”

Snape tried to approach Hermione but she stepped back and continued. “He bound me to the wall…a very clever man, your father.” She looked at Draco as she spoke. “He ripped my clothes from my body and fucked me up against the wall.” Tears rapidly fell as she relived her nightmare.

Draco had his own tears in his eyes; he was rooted to the floor.
“I pleaded with him…he just laughed…my cries only fueled him…the more I cried, the harder and faster he drove into me…” Hermione stopped when she heard sobbing. She had just noticed Ginny standing by the wall looking scared.

Hermione put her hand over her mouth; she looked into the eyes of her…well, her little sister. Tears of pain, anger, and sorrow fell from those eyes that were usually so happy. She looked at Draco and saw that he was crying, too. Her eyes then met those of her Professor; she couldn’t read his expression.

Ginny took off running down the hall. “Ginny,” Hermione called weakly, but the younger girl kept running. Hermione didn’t dare look at the two men behind her; she just cried silently and whispered, ‘I’m sorry.’

* * * * *

Hermione walked down to the lake; she could see Ginny’s mane of red hair from the distance. She approached slowly, not sure what to say; hoping she hadn’t damaged Ginny too much.

“Ginny,” Hermione said in a dry voice from crying.
The redhead wiped her eyes. “I’m fine,” Ginny said softly.
Hermione sat next to her. “You’re almost as good a liar as I am,” Hermione said, laughing lightly.

There was a silence; Hermione rubbed her hands over her stomach when she felt the baby move.
“I’m sorry, Ginny. I didn’t see you standing there—I shouldn’t have…”
“It’s okay. I didn’t know…I’m sorry…” Ginny couldn’t finish because she started to cry again. Hermione gathered Ginny in her arms and rocked her gently. “Sshh…it’s okay…you couldn’t have known…sshh,” Hermione whispered into her hair.

Hermione sat with Ginny by the lake for awhile; they had both missed their first class. Hermione walked Ginny to her next and then made her way to the dungeons. She didn’t have potions class but she needed to speak with Snape.

* * * * *

Hermione made her way through the Slytherin common room; the last time she was here was the night she was raped. She reached the boy’s dormitories and walked to the end of the hall like Professor Snape told her.

Hermione knocked lightly and then opened the door slowly. Peering around the door to see a very messy room, near the back wall she spotted Draco laying on his bed, staring into thin air.

“Hey,” Hermione said, but Draco didn’t answer; he turned away from her and faced the wall. Hermione walked slowly towards the bed; she felt so guilty for inflicting such pain on him and Ginny.

Hermione sat on the edge of his bed; she rubbed his arm.
“Draco, can we talk?” she asked softly.
“Leave me alone,” Draco replied sounding like a lost little boy.
“Draco please—I know I hurt you.”
He didn’t answer. Hermione caressed his hair gently; she felt like their mother, Ginny’s and Draco’s. She had to be the strong one, like a mother, who tells them everything is going to be okay—and that she’ll make it all better.

“Draco, please look at me”
“I can’t…just go away,” Draco said in an odd voice.
Hermione felt tears plucking at her eyes; she held them back and continued to caress his hair. “I shouldn’t have told you what happen that night—I’m sorry,” Hermione said regretful.

“How can you be in the same room with me after what he did to you?” Draco asked, but he didn’t turn around. Hermione’s hand stilled for a moment. “Because you’re not him. You may look like him but you’re nothing alike,” she said, hoping he’d believe her. “His eyes were cold; they held nothing but hate…your eyes may be the same shape and color but they’re full of warmth.”

Draco turned around slowly; his face was tear-stained from crying.
“I hate this; this baby is going to make things so hard. I know I sound selfish, but I can’t help it,” Draco said, looking at Hermione’s swollen stomach.

Hermione took his hand and placed it over her stomach. “I had a dream about him; he’s beautiful. He looks just like you; his hair…eyes…” Hermione ran her hand over his face as she spoke. “…even your smirk,” she said, amused, touching his lips.

Draco watched her closely. “If my son grows to be half the man you are, then I will be very lucky,” Hermione said, kissing his forehead.
“Thanks,” Draco said, smiling weakly at her.

“Listen, I was upset…when you gave me that key it just, well, freaked me out,” Hermione explained.
“I’m sorry…I thought it would help…I shouldn’t have been so…” Hermione placed a finger on his lip to hush him. “It’s okay; I’m sorry, too,” she replied.

Draco moved over and patted the space next to him. Hermione took off her shoes with difficulty and lay next to him, laying her head against his shoulder. “Have you thought of a name yet?” he asked.
Hermione smiled up at him. “Titan.”


* * * * * *

Big thank you to Jamie.

Juri-The dreams do have a meaning, a good meaning at the moment but a bad meaning later. Also she is a little crazy hormonal like your sister, Lol. Thanks again.

Iria-Everyone just found out in the last chapter, poor Hermione. Thanks.

Lacey-I’ve started to read your Contracts story, I love Snape/Hermione. I love your story so far, I’ll try to read so more to night. Thanks again.

Amber- Hermione doesn’t believe in herself as mush as she use to, with out Harry and Ron she feels lost; but Charlie going to help her see how strong she can be. Thanks for reviewing.