Snapey Went A Courting

Snapey Went A Courting

It all belongs to Rowling, except what you don’t recognize.

Chapter 22 – Pumpkin Mimosas and a pinch of Schmaltz


“Filius! No, no putti. They are not romantic and you shall never convince me otherwise.”

“But Minerva—“

“That is my final word on the subject. Now red roses or white?”

“I think white. Professor Vector does have an unfortunate hair shade and it does tend to easily clash.”

“Quite. Hmmm. Perhaps a cream color?”

“Done!”

The green rods, which the two Hogwarts professors had planted in a large rectangle outside the blessed circle, trembled for a second before shoots from them headed skyward. Suddenly tendrils of briar rose and vines of honeysuckle, and morning glory (also known as bindweed) spread themselves out from the rods with leaves unfurling as they went. Within a few minutes of the combined energies of Flitwick and McGonagall hitting the rods, the walls of living green were thick and full. Vines spread throughout the briars and reaching the top edge of the living wall leapt from them tom a m a canopy across the top of the edifice.

McGonagall raised her wand again and created windows and a doorway into the floral room. Flitwick aimed and blooms of fragrant white roses, honeysuckle and morning glories budded and opened all over the structure. The two surveyed their handiwork.

“Now, Minerva. I hope you will not be against a Champagne fountain or two?”

“It’s a bit early in the day for that. Pumpkin Juice Mimosa fountains would be better.”

“Fine, fine, fine.” Flitwick smiled but was quite irritated. It was his charm that made the fountains work after all so why did she insist on having the final say.

“Thank you, Filius.” McGonagall smiled. This was one event that Flitwick would not be allowed to ruin with his over-the-top sentimentality. She began collecting large pinecones from under a nearby fir tree. They should make perfect flute goblets to go with the wine.

&&&

“You are sulking. I said I didn’t mind.”

“I’m not sulking,” said Snan a n a silky, sulky manner. “I was just thinking what a mistake—“

“So you have a problem. That doesn’t give you the right to call my first sexual experience a mistake. You were quite willing a few minutes ago.” Hermione pulled the graying sheets around her. “It wouldn’t have killed you to make nice.”

“I don’t ‘do’ nice.”

“Oh, yes, yes you do. You are quite good at it, when you choose to.”

Hermione felt the tears in her eyes. Damned Hormones. Still crying or screaming at the drop of a hat, she was. Madam Pomfrey said it would be better if she allowed her body to adjust naturally. But Hermione felt frustrated by the whole situation.

“You said this wasn’t a problem with the Faerie Queen. So, are you insinuating that I am at fault here?”

Snape picked up his robe and began to get dressed. He didn’t feel like talking about it.

“Are you?” Hermione’s voice went shrill.

“Must you bellow like some fish wife?” Actually she was bellowing exactly the way his mother used to and it didn’t leave a very good feeling.

“You had better leave.”

“And go where? The House Elves are still faerie proofing my place.”

“Back up to the infirmary. I don’t know. I need some time to…” Snape made a face.

“Time. Fine then. I’ll head to the kitchens and have some breakfast with the Elves.” Hermione started grabbing at her clothing. “They make better company than you do!”

Snape watched her with a sinking feeling. He really should be able to handle her. If she were still his student... Or perhaps if she were his wife, he’d know what to do or say but they were in limbo together. He didn’t know. “Hermione.” He spread his hands wide.

“You can stop by later, or tomorrow to visit your son.” She was stony faced now and refusing to look at him.”

“I’m not good at relationships.” There, he admitted it. He was in the wrong.

Hermione stopped as she was buttoning her robes. “Oh? I hadn’t noticed.” She slipped her sandals on.

“Don’t be like that.”

“You can dish it out, but you can’t take it.”

“What?”

“Never mind.” Hermione marched out the door and it slammed shut. Snape kicked over a chair. He slowly picked it up. Then he threw it against the wall. It broke into several pieces.

&&&

“Hagrid? Hagrid? Oh, where is that man? There you are. Go fetch the groom-- they are running late.”

Hagrid, afraid to tell McGonagall that the time hadn’t actually been fixed for the wedding except that it be in the morning, went shuffling off. He worried that Lupin might blame him for it all, but then he remembered that Lupin himself had let the cat out of the bag.

“Minerva McGonagall,” said Prof. Sprout. “The young couple asked me to officiate and I don’t remember you being invited.”

“It’s at Hogwarts, isn’t it? Of course the whole faculty is invited. Now, Pomona, you don’t need to get your nose out of joint about this. They are young, yet in spite of that they are being quite sensible. I don’t know what will happen to Severus for his little lapse in judgment, but here we can make sur won won’t be losing these two.”

Professor Sprout opened her mouth to say something scathing, and then shut it. No need to mix it up. And besides, the Deputy Headmistress was right. Might as well give them full backing in their matrimonial endeavor!

Madam Pince showed up. The pinch-faced witch was barely recognizable, her clothes were awry and her hair was springing out of its tight bun. “Well, it took some doing, but I got it.” She announced breathlessly.

Sprout gave her full attention. “What have you been up to?”

“Oh, reservations! And making a port key.” She held up a paperweight in the shape of a heart. “Even remembered to make it out of something pretty. Mind you it took some doing, and there was the matter of getting the money together to pay for the room. I’ll collect your donation later.”

McGonagall riveted her blue eyes on the Witch, “Well, out with it. Where is it located? And it had better be romantic.”

Pince looked affronted, “The Hotel Ritz. Paris. Wizard’s Honeymoon suite. I could only get it for one night.”

“Well, of course. With classes starting in a few days, one night is all they get! Well done, Irma. Now will you go over there and ask Argus to stop crying? So he missed his chance with her. It will teach him to be more forward with the next Witch he fancies.”

Pince blushed and askerselrself. Did McGonagall know she fancied him? Well, maybe this would make the caretaker wake up and finally take notice of her. Yes, decided the librarian, best to get hold of him while he was vulnerable and hurting. Pince patted her hair into place as she went over to the sniffling Squib.

&&&

“Do get out of here, Binns,” Snape was feeling at his worst. How could he have just allowed her to walk out of there? But how could he have made her stay? He felt so off balance. He needed some time to think and understand his situation. She didn’t seem to be against their marrying, but what if he was cursed? By the Crimson Mouse no less?

“The Deputy Headmistress has requested that everyone attend! Everyone includes you. Now we haven’t had a wedding here at Hogwarts between faculty since 1963. Before your time, but it was very moving and I should be glad to let you know of the delightful details—“

“All right, all right. I’m going. I’m not one of your students anymore.”

“Sorry. Keep forgetting. But you know, I taught your father and your father’s father. Snapes and the Dark Arts. Always had a talent, don’t you know.”

“You can leave now,” said Snape through his teeth. “I’m dressed and ready for the bloody event.”

“Excellent. That just leaves Prof. Trelawney on my list. Saved her for last since she’s harder to get out of her tower than you are to get out of your dungeons. I may have to start reciting the Goblin Wars to her.” And Binns disappeared.

&&&

“Professor Vector, please do me the honor of riding on my back,” said Firenze. He stood there, blocking Alicia’s exit from the castle looking wild and beautiful with a laurel wreath around his head and a garland of flowers around his neck.

Alicia stared. “Why, Professor Firenze, you are a centaur.”

“And?”

“I thought your kind takes great offense at such things.”

“You know less than you think do then. So you will not do me the honor?”

Alicia reddened. “No, no. But where are we going?

“I am escorting you to your hand fasting with Professor Lupin, of course.”

“How did you know of it?”

“Why, everyone knows. And do not listen to Professor Trelawney’s predictions. She is being rather more dire than usual you know.”

“She’s there? We haven’t spoken in a decade.”

“I said everyone. They all know and arere.ere. Are you feeling faint?”

“Yes. Quite.”

“Then you should get up onto my back.”

&&&

Lupin watched as Firenze carried in Alicia. Because she was wearing a long, flowing, cream-colored gown, she could not sit astride him and had to balance herself carefully on the Centaur’s broad back. Lupin felt his spirits soar at the sight of her. Her red hair had been artfully brushed back and put into a lovely and ornate lace cap. There was only a hint of makeup on her face and, true to her word, no glamour.

His wedding day—He never thought he’d have one. Oh, wondrous world it was, where someone like him might have a job and even be allowed to wed a Witch. Yes, she had a few rough edges, but he loved her more for them not less. She didn’t see how special she was, but he hoped one day she would.

Harry stood near him and smiled. Lupin grinned back. Harry hadn’t quite removed all the eyeliner from his eyes. The boy had gone a bit strange since the war ended, but Lupin put it down to the young man attempting to regain a lost youth. And well, he wasn’t the only one. Just look at Snape, shamefully allowing himself to become carried away with a girl twenty years his junior. Lupin shook his head and focused on the proceedings as he took his future wife’s hand and gave it an amorous squeeze.

Both Alicia ae hae had agreed to keep the ceremony short and simple. Of course, it was touching how the professors had all come out to celebrate and how nicely everything was decorated. A feeling of serenity came over him as he listened to the words of the ceremony and made the appropriate responses.

Alicia, on the other hand, was in shock. She heard nothing, saw nothing, except for her husband to be. He was the only steady point in her universe and there was nothing else. She steadied her breathing just as the room started to spin and willed herself not to faint.

Before she knew it, the cord was tied around her wrist, binding her to her husband until they consummated their union. He kissed her and then they were swarmed. She smiled and nodded as Hogwarts professors, staff and even ghosts came forward to kiss her cheek and whisper their blessings to her. A goblet of wine was put into her hand. Toasts were made. She saw a side of her colleagues she didn’t know existed as they put into words, their kind and even humorous thoughts and recollections of her and her husband.

Tears began to roll down her cheeks. All this for her and Remus? Years of anger, resentment and shame peeled away from her and turned to an invisible smoke, which drifted away on an undetectable gust of wind. Suddenly she regretted cursing Snape and promised herself she’d lift the curse at first opportunity. She smiled through her tears and felt her heart lighten with joy.

Then, it was time to leave. Wrists still bound together, they held onto the paperweight and were whisked away.

&&&

Hermione sat in a corner of the chapel and nursed Waldo while Teaseh stayed nearby. Hermione thought it was a lovely hand fasting. There were two stone fountains spouting a peach colored beverage. She finished nursing, used a burping spell and decided to have a small taste. It turned out to have quite a kick to it. The two attendants handing out the drinks looked suspiciously like putti, but behaved much too well to be them.

She watched Severus scowl throughout the ceremony. He looked good dressed in dark green formal robes shot through with silver and black thread. She sighed. He was a right bastard, wasn’t he? She caught hookiooking up at her once or twice and her heart skipped. She was angry with him, but really, he had said he wasn’t good at relationships. She sipped some more of the peach beverage. It tasted a bit like pumpkin juice and champagne. It was a good thing she had plenty of milk saved, because she wouldn’t be able to nurse Waldo for a bit of time. That is unless she tried one of the spells for de-toxing breast milk in the book. Or maybe some sober up potion? Madam Pomfrey had to have some of that around.

Finally the toasts were over and the couple were handed a port key. Hermione couldn’t hear over all the well wishing where they were heading. And then they were gone. Hermione felt happy for them. They were both special to her. She sighed; the room was a bit warm, even though it was outside. And it was getting close to lunchtime. She felt a hand at her arm.

“Harry!” Hermione shifted her son and gave her friend a hug.

“Hermione. You shouldn’t be drinking when nursing.”

“It’s all right. I have some milk stored.”

“Potter.” Snape suddenly appeared and he didn’t look pleased.

“Yes, Professor. I was just speaking to Hermione.” Harry said overtly, hoping Snape would get the message to go away.

“Leave her alone!” Snape put his hand on Harry’s elbow.

“You are overstepping your bounds, Professor,” growled Harry. “Hermione? Is he disturbing you?” Maybe she’d say yes and then they could go talk in private. It wouldn’t be easy explaining about Daisy, but--

“You want Waldo to be yours. Well, I won’t allow it,” Snape said in a low, smooth voice.

“Severus!” Hermione was feeling a bit embarrassed. “Can we take this outside please?”

“It’s all right, Hermione,” said Harry fearing a row. “There was something that I needed to explain to you. But I’ll see you at another time.” He gave her a swift kiss on the lips and smiled at how Snape glowered. Then he left.

Hermione walked outside the floral chapel. Snape was right behind her.

“What was that about?”

“Staking out my claim,” Snape softly said.

“You renounced your claim this morning.”

“Changed my mind,” he smiled.

“Oh, wonderful. Well, I have a meeting to attend to this afternoon.”

“Have lunch with me first.”

Hermione sighed. “Here at Hogwarts? Or should we go into town?”

He put one arm around her shoulder. “Three Broomsticks-- Just the three of us, our family. To you I was only gone a few hours, but for me it was years. I’m a bit... What I mean to say is...”

Hermione turned to Snape. “You asked for some time to sort things out. And you informed me that you weren’t good at relationships. Does that mean that things will get better between us or for me not to expect much of anything from you?”

He stepped close to her. “I still want us wed.” He leaned down to kiss her, but she nimbly moved away.

“That wasn’t what I asked.” Hermione began to walk quickly towards the gates.


A/N Special thanks to my reviewers: LittleBird, DeblovesDragon, Spaz141, Jen, Tifsuz, Deb and Innerfeline.