Tel\' Lindar (The Bard)

Tel Lindar 23

Oh, you\'re a sweet - talker, Professor Snape! (ACK!!) Or Gurgling down the Shower Drain of Life

***

\"You bastard! You mother fucking bastard!\"

Bronwyn followed him to the floor, hitting the carpet with an audible thud. Severus backed up, crab like on all fours, until he was pressed against the pianoforte\'s legs. What had he done to warrant this? Thinking quickly, he Accio\'d his wand from beneath his pillow, flicking her in the back of her head, which made her screech louder - as if such a thing was possible! She was now cursing him in what sounded like Russian... maybe Italian... did it really matter?... Severus decided he felt very vulnerable, naked on the floor, so pulling up on the piano, he turned and pointed the wand.

\"Lumos!\"

The lights around the bed, the room, came on and he attempted to stare down the wild haired screaming banshee in front of him. A banshee who had finally returned to screaming in an intelligible language.

\"You sorry, slimy, greasy, mother fucking, pain in the arse, rat-bast-\"

\"Leave My Mother Out Of Your Tirade!\"

She stopped.

For half a second.

Inhale.

\"Don\'t you dare hide behind her skirts! Damn her for not using birth control! Or at least feigning a headache the night you were conceived!\"

Her breathing was labored and in the dim light, Severus could see the obvious tears she was fighting. She angrily wiped them with the backs of her hands.

\"Where the hell is your brain?\" she spat.

\"Last I looked, it was lodged securely in my cranium, woman!\"

It was a Snape-worthy reply, one that had every inch of angry Bronwyn launched at him. He let her smack at him; it appeared to bring her great pleasure. He was busy listening to her outraged bellowing.

\"My urges? My physical urges? What the hell do you take me for? A teenaged boy?\" She stepped back, hands on hips, chest heaving. \"Well?\"

Several seconds passed as the two gathered their thoughts. Snape tried to regain the upper hand (as well as one could, standing naked). \"Bronwyn. I am more than aware of the depth of your feelings for your husband. You are lonely. You have needs.\" He ran his hands through his hair. \"You are a healthy woman...\"

\"Needs? Dammit, Severus! I have toys for those kind of needs!\"

Snape choked.

\"If you can manage to crawl out of the shit hole you\'ve dug, I might.,.. MIGHT... let you check them out!\" Bronwyn dug the heels of her palms into her eyes. \"What is wrong with you? I can\'t figure you out!\" She peered up at him from behind her hands. \"Do you think that I would ... use you for physical release? That I\'m that shallow?\"

Severus\' shoulders slumped, both of them feeling the same resignation. Did he truly have to spell it out for her?

\"Bronwyn. I was not born last night. I know how much you love and miss your husband. I am not blind when I look in the mirror...\"

She launched herself at him again.

\"You Dunderhead! Is THAT what this is all about? Your looks?\" She turned loose of him and stood back, her gaze beseeching. \"Do you want to know what I see when I look at you?\" Her voice was deceptively quiet. \"I see that piano!\" She pointed to the instrument he was leaning on. \"It\'s battered, scarred, It\'s been misused, ignored, by - passed.\" She pulled up to him, stroking his chest, fingers trailing the many scars crisscrossing his chest. She finally flattened her palm against him. \"But open it up, with the right touch, the right... stroke... it becomes something precious. Its sound, timbre is rich, expressive.\" Her eyes glittered fire in the lamplight.

\"That is because it is played by a master, Bronwyn.\" He whispered truthfully.

\"Don\'t interrupt.\" she chided humorously. \"Regardless, I think you think too much when you look in the mirror.\" He raised an eyebrow at that. Her hand raised, a single finger stroking down the long nose. \"You should not look at this,\" fin fingers trailed down to the scars on his chest and arms, \"nor should you linger on these,\" the fingers traced lightly around the Death Mark. \"You should especially not think harshly of this.\" Her fingers, hand trailed back to his sternum, tracing over his heart. \"When I look at you, I see the depth of intelligence in your eyes, the intensity of your feelings, you are a remarkable creature, Severus Snape. I am honored to call you friend. I am blessed to call you lover. I don\'t know where this is going, but I most definitely want you to be along for the ride. I can\'t do this alone.\" She raised his arm to her lips, kissing the fading tattoo. She released his arm and turned, crawling back on the bed. \"Are you going to stand there all night?\"

Eyes shifted back and forth in thought.

\"Toys?\"

\"Don\'t let the butt plug scare ya!\"

Oh.

The Bloody Baron was right, thought the Dark Wizard as he climbed in next to her. Kinky as hell!

Oh, bloody hell!

In as dignified a manner as possible, Severus crawled back into the huge bed and noxed the lights. He felt the comforting feel of her body as she curled into his, laying her head on his shoulder and tucking her hand about his waist.

One small thing nagged him.

\"Bronwyn.\" \"H \"Hmm?\"

He scowled at himself for thinking it.

\"It is my... experience that women like to use pet names...\"

\"Yes, sweetie?\"

He rolled his eyes and gave an exhalation of disgust. \"My name is not sweetie, or honey, or Sev, or Sevvie-kins-\"

\"How ‘bout ‘Lusty buns\'?\"

He gave a snort of revulsion.

\"No.\"

\"Snapebaby?\"

\"Especially not... If you continue this, I will get up and go get in my own bed and you can sleep by yourself in the wet spot!\"

He could feel her shaking with mirth. \"You charmed the bed clean and dry, remember?\"

In the moonlight, she could see his features hardening.

\"I can change it back, madam.\"

\"Oh, all right!\" she exhaled in mock surrender. \"But I have to call you something. Even if it\'s only in private!\"

\"No.\"

\"Saes?\"

\"No.\"

\"Pleeeeeease?\"

\"I forbid it!\"

\"I have one. It\'s nice.\"

\"What part of ‘no\', do you not comprehend?\"

\"You haven\'t even heard it!\" She smacked playfully on his chest.

\"I do not need to hear it. I have a name. It is Severus. It is a fine name. I suggest you use it!\"

\"Lhugmin.\"

Severus looked down at the dark head resting on his shoulder. \"What?\"

\"Lhugmin.\"

\"That sounds... Elvish.\"

\"Five points to Slytherin for being such a smart professor!\"

Severus grinned in the dark. \"Fine. So it is Elvish. It is still a pet name and...\"

Bronwyn leaned up and whispered in his ear.

\"That is what it means?\"

\"Yes.\"

He thought it over for a moment.

Lhugmin.

\"Well, I suppose that would be fine.\"

He felt her smile into his side as she curled in.

\"But only in private, when no one is around. And you are to tell no one, do you understand?\"

\"Hmm.\"

\"Not even Lupin! Or Albus.\" Merlin forbid.

\"If you say.\"

\"Or... Celeborn.\" Ech.

\"I will not tell a living, breathing creature!\" Bronwyn let out a large yawn. \"I\'m sleepy.\"

\"Go to sleep, Bronwyn.\"

\"Hmmm hmmmm.\"

***
I shouldn\'t be alone with you tonight
desire was to strong to put up a fight,
I don\'t understand the way I feel
although it feels so right,
I shouldn\'t be...
here tonight


Don\'t be a stranger
Dina Carroll

***

There is a certain peace to be found in a warm embrace. It nurtures a cocoon of contentment, harbors feelings of caring. And yes, love. Love of many sorts. One first experiences it in the arms of the Mother, that first nurturer. As one grows and instinctively pushes away from those arms, they begin to search for a replacement, another haven.

Bronwyn had had that first embrace with her Nana, that wise woman who had been born and raised on sacred Druid soil; whose home lay on spiritual leylines deep within the Welsh soil. In her embrace, she had been taught to revere and respect the old ways, whether she followed them or not. She had searched, settling for the embrace of one not worthy of her, but in that moment of weakness, was given the gift of a lifetime.

A child of her own to embrace.

Flawed.

Imperfect.

But a child of her own, nevertheless.

She had reveled in that embrace, had lived for that touch when it all was ripped from her and she was thrown...

Thrown into the arms of one of the most beautiful creatures on earth. Had healed and grown up in that embrace. Had delighted in that embrace. She had found peace, contentment, and understanding in that embrace.

And now?

Now, she was in his.

What a quandary your Valar have placed you in, Bronwyn.

Severus looked down at the tousled head on his shoul her her body curled almost protectively into his. Her arm lay loosely over his waist.

His body was sore, stretched beyond what he thought would have been his endurance. He imagined hers was in as bad a shape. Their coupling, mating had been a train wreck. A spectacular train wreck, but a train wreck nonetheless.

No, he was wrong. Their lovemaking had been the banquet table of two people, starving. Starving of need, starving for... that embrace.

It had been a feast of naked flesh and desire.

He shifted to his side, pulling her closer in. She mumbled something incoherent and settled tightly into his body. He stroked the soft cheek, basking in the afterglow of it all.

But of everything that had happened, what he remembered most was the sight of her standing on the floor, face flushed, eyes blazing in anger, then softening in understanding.

***When I see you, I see that piano***

Yes, he had been played by a master, but she had been on the receiving end of a similar and equally powerful master. He felt his body stir, awaken and aroused by the soft woman...

*Soft? Not in spirit!*

... held in his arms. He tamped down on his desire, deciding to wait until dawn, when he would awaken her with gentle kisses and as he originally intended, would explore her delights, her body more leisurely.

She would have second thoughts, how could she not, despite her promise? But he was a patient Wizard. He would easily overwhelm her, batter down her defenses.

There was no way he could possibly replace the Elf that had been her husband. He had no intention of replacing him.

No.

He would carve his own niche within her heart and soul.

And the Valar, bless their bloody arses, had another think coming if they thought to take her from him.

***
I dream of f Tho Those dreams are tied to a horse that will never tire
And in the flames
Her shadows play in the shape of a man\'s desire

This Desert Rose
Sting

***

***pokepokepoke***

This was not the way to wake up.

***pokepokepoke***

\"Severus? Lhugmin?\" Her body was tense, rigid and he could sense her heart rate had accelerated.

\"This had better be good, madam.\" His voice was raspy with sleep.

\"Bobbin is on the steps. He-\"

\"I is sorry, Professor Powell, Professor Snape.\" The house elf\'s voice echoed up the stairs. \"But Mister Malfoy is bangin\' on Professor Powell\'s door and I is scared.\"

As Severus sat up, he saw the creature was standing halfway up the stairs, the tips of his ears barely showing. He had even turned his back towards the room, and was facing the wall. Severus leaned forward to get a better look. The little elf was wringing his hands and his ears drooped in an obvious attempt to look pathetic. He was quite good at it.

Very good at it.

Severus raised a questioning eyebrow to his bed partner, who had pulled the covers to her neck, trying to maintain a bit of modesty.

\"I like my privacy. He knows that!\" Bronwyn whispered. \"He said both Malfoys are at my classroom door, banging it down. They were at your door first...\"

\"Really?\"

\"... and he says Draco looks bad.\"

\"Hung over, no doubt, and wants me to administer a discreet hangover potion!\" Severus looked at the wind up clock at Bronwyn\'s bedside.

7:03.

So much for an early morning tryst. He threw his legs over the side and grabbing his wand from under the pillow, proceeded to retrieve his trousers and under pants and pull them on.

\"Stay here. I will deal w-\"

The pounding began on her chamber door. Bronwyn\'s eyes were filled with horror.

\"Oh, great Iluvatar! How did he get through the wards?\" She had pulled the sheets up to her neck.

\"Get up! Get dressed!\" It came out clipped and terse and she flinched at his tone. There was no time to console her, but she should figure it out soon enough. \"No doubt Malfoy realized that my door wards were outer, while yours were on the inside. I\'m sure he took considerable care unweaving them.\"

She flinched again at the continual pounding on her door. \"And, no doubt, he is frustrated at his inability to decipher the wards on your private door because they are password protected.\" He looked around and realized the rest of his clothes were downstairs. He headed that way. \"ll dll do the talking and you will follow my lead.\"

He took in her appearance as she managed to jump off the bed and began to rummage through her drawers for a sleep shirt. There was no way to hide what she - they had been doing; her cheeks were flushed and her lips were swollen and bruised from kisses and he did not have time to cast a glamour. The pounding intensified and Severus flew downstairs, Accio\'d his shirt and frock coat, sliding sock-less feet into his boots and buttoning the fewest buttons possible. Before ordering the shaking house elf to go, he threw Bronwyn\'s discarded clothing higher up on the stairs unseen. Bronwyn followed him down, belting a faded bathrobe and running fingers through mussed hair.

\"One question?\"

\"Quickly.\"

\"Where is Amadeus?\"

Severus ran his own fingers through inky locks before smiling. \"Waiting for you at the breakfast table.\" He put his hand on the knob. \"Next to Remus.\" He turned his back as she gasped and whispering the password, threw the door open.

Malfoy Senior stood with cane raised, prepared to strike again and was deftly stopped as Snape grabbed it with his hand.

\"Lucius. Draco. To what do we owe this extremely early pleasure?\" He effectively blocked their view into the chamber where Bronwyn was tucking a pair of socks into the pocket of her robe.

\"Ah, Severus.\" Lucius\' warm voice did not match his eyes. \"What a surprise to find you here.\" He attempted to look over the Potions Master\'s shoulder. \"We were hoping Professor Powell could tell us your whereabouts and here you are.\" He inclined his head to a rather green looking Draco. \"Imagine our... surprise... to find her classroom door secured from the inside with a series of unusually sophisticated wards.\" Malfoy\'s gaze shifted back, hardened. \"Knots and wards a Muggle is incapaof mof making.\"

Severus felt her slide up next to him, tucking herself under his arm. The woman did not understand the meaning of discreet!

\"I don\'t know, Mr. Malfoy.\" Her voice was husky with the tone of someone who had not had much sleep. \"You would be surprised at what I\'m capable of.\"

Malfoy tilted his head towards her, his bow mocking. \"Draco has told me of some of your more, how shall we say, daring exploits. \" She smirked at his condescending attitude. \"Not to mention that you have been a very popular subject for the Daily Prophet.\"

\"Lucius, what can I do for you?\" Severus interrupted. His words made him sound bored, but he was anything but.

Lucius blinked at the rude intrusion, but refocused on the Potions Master. \"Draco had something last night that does not seem to have agreed with him.\" Severus stared at the ill looking youngster. \"We were hoping you would have something for him.\" Lucius glanced again at the woman tucked up under the Dark Wizard\'s arm. \"We did not wish to disturb Madame Pomfrey and you are much closer.\"

\"Not feeling well, are we, Draco?\" Severus none too gently pushed Bronwyn behind him and stared hard at the young man, who managed to turn greener. He turned back to Bronwyn. \"I trust I awoke you in time. Breakfast will be in forty - five minutes. The Quidditch Match will be immediately following lunch. I suggest you dress warmly.\" He started to turn and stopped with a final thought. \"Do not forget to ward your door after me.\"

\"Warm clothing?\"

\"I believe that is what I said.\" he gritted irritably.

\"Fine! Then it\'s okay if I wear my new crimson barbour coat with the gold scarf?\"

Draco ran from the room, gagging.

Lucius\' eyebrows rose as high on his forehead as they would go.

Severus knew the dig, realized who it was aimed at. \"You may wear anything you wish. You may wear nothing, if it pleases you. However, if you wish to sit next to me, so that I may teach you the proper rules for Quidditch, you will dress appropriately.\" He continued from the room, leaving Lucius in his wake.

Lucius turned to Bronwyn. \"He wakes you?\"

\"I have a wind up clock,\" she smirked. \"Sometimes, I forget to wind it.\" She shut the door in his face. He felt the wards begin to knot together.

\"Interesting.\" He followed Severus out the door, closing it softly behind him.

Upon entering the Potions classroom, he saw Snape fishing around his shelves for a specific vial. Draco was behind him, turning greener by the minute.

\"Please sir. Tell me she was joking. Tell me, it was a huge laugh between the two of you.\"

Severus never turned, continued to pick and choose among the ingredients on his shelf.

\"She was joking. It was a huge laugh between the two of us. Ha. Ha.\"

\"Thank you, sir.\"

Snape stepped around the stricken younger Malfoy and quickly measured something nasty into a measuring spoon. He pulled a mortar and pestle from under that counter and began to pulverize the dried leaves into a finely ground powder. He cast a Fulgens spell on the small caldron in front of him and proceeded to measure the liquid ingredients into it, before adding the crushed leaves. Mixing it thoroughly, he poured a small amount into a small vial and putting a stopper over it, handed it to the Slytherin Seeker.

\"Give this fifteen minutes to cool. Take it and wait another fifteen minutes, before taking your shower. You will be fine by breakfast. You should have enough time to go to your rooms and get a change of clothing and your robe and make it to the bathroom in time.\"

\"Yes sir.\" Draco proceeded to the door.

\"Draco. You will want to take it in the bathroom. Do you understand?\"

Draco audibly gulped. \"Yes sir.\" Looking at his father dejectedly, he slid out of the Potions classroom and hurried up the hallway to the Slytherin rooms.

Lucius watched as his son queasily weaved from the classroom and up the hallway. \"That potion will make him sicker than he is now, Severus. That is quite cruel!\"

\"Yes, it will.\" Snape quietly agreed. \"However, I suspect he will think twice before spiking the pumpkin juice again.\"

Lucius looked at the Dark Wizard over his shoulder, a petulant scowl marring his perfect features. \"Really? Why do you think Draco spiked the punch?\"

Snape let out an inelegant snort. \"Simple. He is a Slytherin and he is your son!\"

\"Ah. True.\" Lucius shrugged elegantly. \"You gave me that potion once, Severus.\"

Snape was putting ingredients away, cleaning the mess.

\"Yes, I did.\"

\"And I hadn\'t spiked the punch! You had!\"

Severus grinned in a way he hadn\'t in years. \"Yes. I was never blamed for it. It was and still is one of my more memorable school years moments.\"

\"That potion made me...\"

\"Puke your guts out and gave you the galloping shits.\" Snape smiled at the memory. \"But you felt better in fourteen minutes.\"

\"I never asked you for a hangover potion again.\"

The Dark Wizard was still smiling. \"No, you have not.\" He took the cauldron to the sink and filled it with hot water. \"That was the point.\" He finished cleaning his workspace, making sure everything was properly stoppered and stored before turning back to Lucius. The dapper Wizard had sat down on Bronwyn\'s stool and had propped his chin on the back of his hand.

\"Was it good?\"

Snape looked to the left, in the past. \"I did nothing to enhance the flavor of the potion one way or...\"

\"Not the potion! The Woman! Tell Lynn Dare or whatever it is the pointy eared things call her!\"

Snape\'s eyebrows rose in a questioning stance. \"You are asking about Professor Powell.\"

Lucius sat up, his nose wrinkled as if he had inhaled something unpleasant. \"Yes, Professor Powell! Her!\" He waved his hand at Snape. \"Tell me! Tell me! Was she any good?\"

Severus looked hard at a shelf of bottled hippogriff phlegm and dried black widow sperm sacs. \"As I stated last night, she is a popular teacher and well versed in the subject she teaches. I have heard no complaints, save that she is a Muggle...\"

\"Severus!\" Lucius pounded on the floor with his cane. \"You are skirting the issue!\" he laughed. \"We have been friends too long for you to play as coy as a young girl!\" He continued to laugh at Snape\'s imperious attitude. \"Say what you want -\"

\"She forgets to wind her alarm clock, Lucius. Her electric muggle clock will not work here. It is no bother for me to prod her on occasion.\"

\"Well,\" Lucius continued to laugh, \"prod her I know you did! She had the look of one who was freshly fucked! And well at that!\" He leaned in closer to Severus, who was scowling furiously. \"You have color in your normally pallid complexion! Even your lips are bruised.\"

\"I was not aware my mouth was something that interested you, Lucius.\"

Lucius\' laughter became more hysterical. \"How cautious you have become and how Slytherin of you!\" His laughter abruptly stopped and his cold blue eyes bore into Severus\' black ones. \"No doubt you warded her door when you walked her to her chambers last night. They were strong wards, with your pattern style all over them. No doubt as well her private chamber is password protected making it impossible for anyone to get in without knowing the password.\" He playfully wagged his finger at the Potion Master. \"You have your little Rapunzel locked up tight in your little dungeon, don\'t you, Severus?\" He watched as his fellow Death Eater...

***Traitor! He betrayed us all!***

... coiled in tightly, like a serpent. \"You are losing your touch, old sod. You stand before me in last night\'s clothing, you are flushed, she is flushed and properly mussed. Did you get much sleep at all? Is she a screamer? Was she worth it?\"

Tighter and tighter, Severus pulled in. Malfoy\'s eye\'s glinted maliciously.

\"You say so much when you way nothing at all!\" Lucius stood up and readjusted his cloak. \"Remember what I said, Severus. Enjoy her, make her your mistress. Nothing more.\" He touched his forehead with his cane and turned to the door.

\"I will make her what I wish. It is not your decision.\" Severus\' voice was quiet, silk gliding over the stones of the walls.

Lucius stopped at the door, his hand on the knob. \"Really? One wonders what the Headmaster, or even the Minister of Magic would do if they were handed proof that two of Hogwarts professors were carnally cavorting openly within these walls while the students were in residence?\" He smiled to himself. \"It would ruin careers, Severus.\"

Lucius felt more than saw Snape move from behind the desk and teaching table. \"You will not say a word, Lucius, because I still hold more than enough information to have you put in a cell next to Goyle.\"

\"Ah, but you have held on to that information for so long now, Severus. Why would you wait so long?\"

Severus shrugged uncaringly. \"Several reasons, not that any of them matter. Do you not know why Minister Fudge is so frightened of me? Why he has not pushed harder at your demands that he sack Bronwyn?\" He was facing Malfoy, he saw him stiffen. Good guess, Severus! \"Because I have the goods on him as well. Oh, he was small compared to the rest of you, simply a paid figurehead. But a few well-placed words, in a few well- placed quills and his career would be gone and more than likely,\" he stopped for effect, \"we would be seeing a Weasley in his position.\" Severus now smiled. \"Go ahead and tell your precious little puppet. Nothing will happen.\"

Lucius was no longer smiling. \"That is one reason. What is the other?\"

\"Truly?\" Snape was steepling his fingers in front of him, standing still in the musty shadows. \"Chalk it up to the misplaced honor of a drunken promise I made to your wife too many years ago.\"

Malfoy was steeled as well and Snape heard him hiss. \"This would not be the same night the two of you fell into bed naked and drunk and spent a night of pure passion?\" He caught Severus\' sudden intake of breath. \"Yes, she confessed. She never keeps anything from me.\"

Severus allowed a moment to digest the information. Yes, Narcissa would tell him. For a variety of reasons. \"I will never know why you keep mistresses, Lucius. Your wife is a loving, talented, giving witch. She deserves better.\"

\"Yes, I taught her well.\" Lucius had begun to relax a little. \"And for your information, she has everything she could possibly want. There are just some things one does not ask one\'s wife to do.\" He turned back towards the door and threw it open. \"I am glad you have such fond memories. Hers are of your night together, I guarantee. She will be pleased to know she was your ultimate sexual memory.\" He stepped out into the dark hallway. \"I will see you at breakfast.\"

\"Lucius?\"

The Wizard turned back to face the Potions Master in the darkened room. \"Yes?\"

Snape pulled his wand from his sleeve.

\"Your wife was not the ultimate sexual experience of my life.\"

And with that, he flicked his wand at the door and slammed it in his nemesis\' face.

\"Last night was.\"

***

I still start, chilled cold,
Still sweat, still weep,
Remembering the metallic taste of sorrow,
Remembering the sweet, sour, salt and bitter,
Remembering you.

Dead Man Pavane.

***

Water.

Blessed, hot, steaming water.

Bronwyn lifted her face, allowing the fluid to rain down on her, sluicing the night\'s excesses from her body.

Washing the tears from her face.

Oh thou unclean creature...

Where was your brain, girlfriend?

Severus\' voice answering... in my cranium...

She giggled, giggled through tears, now running freely.

It had come quickly, hit her full force, the moment she had slammed the door in that smug smart-ass Wizard\'s face. Thranduil would have made mincemeat of Lucius Malfoy, make no mistake. But the minute the sound faded, she felt the quaking in her body, ripping through her soul, ramming into her stomach, like a well - aimed punch.

Guilt.

How could I? How could I have done this to Haldir? To us?

She started up the stairs, stiff and sore from the activity of the previous night. Her back had that delicious ache she had not experienced in almost two years and her legs, her thighs... she could still feel his teeth on her, marking her, claiming her, his tongue...

STOP! She brought her fists to her eyes, silently commanding herself to stop remembering. She opened her eyes only to see her discarded garments wadded on the stairs. She picked them up, her eyes prickling. She reached the top, seeing the ruined brassiere on the floor. And as she entered the room, there was no denying...

Sex. The room smelled of sex.

She started to sob at that point, pulling her hand from the pocket of her robe in order to shove a knuckle in her mouth - anything to stopper the sound of her anguish. Unfortunately, she realized, two thin, darned socks were wadded in it. She shook them, taking in the obvious aging material, the stretched thinness at the heel and toe.

Another interesting side of you, Severus Snape, she thought to herself.

Putting the socks in with the rest of her clothing in the hamper, she pushed nagging thoughts to the side, as she set the room to rights. In attempts to freshen the room, she pulled out floral candles, lit them around the chamber. Going into the corner, she opened a trunk, pulled out a small brass incense pot and several vials of relaxing, healing oils. She mixed them and set the pot on her dresser, lighting the small candle beneath it. She then rummaged under her sink, looking for a new scent to bathe in.

Something fresh. Something to renew her.

And now, she stood in the shower, water and tears intermingled, the scent of snow and pine, rising in the steam.

Oh Haldir, what do I do? Think! Think! The bow... The bow... Bronwyn began to mentally tick off the names of those visited, questioned, memories modified in the search.

Empty. Severus had returned home empty handed. No leads. No clues. Each and every time.

A needle in a haystack.

A wand dropped in the Forbidden Forest.

Bronwyn let the shampoo and soap rinse from her body and she watched as the suds disappeared down the drain, along with the sweat. She had hoped to wash the remains of him from her, hoped to see him trickle down the bathtub drain with the foam. As she turned off the water, she realized that Severus\' touch still lingered on her body.

***

Amadeus was sitting next to Remus as she entered the Great Hall for breakfast. He watched miserably as she made her way down between the tables, stopping to chat with students, laughing nervously at Gerundevae. As she came around to the chair next to Severus, Bronwyn motioned for him to join her.

The wolf hesitated, waiting for Remus\' gentle urging.

\"She is going to need you, you know,\" the Werewolf whispered. The night had been a long one and neither had slept at all. \"She looks pretty haunted herself.\"

With head bowed, Amadeus padded silently behind the other professors and not so gently forced himself between Bronwyn\'s and Severus\' chairs. He sat down, rather than crawl beneath her chair, and laid his head in her lap.

She did not speak to Snape, rather than a quiet ‘good morning\'. With one hand gently stroking the wolf\'s head, she pushed her food around her plate, eating very little, her mind churning on painful thoughts.

Severus sat quietly next to her, feeling her emotions in turmoil.

Wondering how far Lucius\' ill - timed intrusion had set him back.

***

Bronwyn lounged on her sofa, an arm slung carelessly over her eyes. Her pinned arm lay on her stomach, cupped, Amadeus\' nose thrust in it.

Music rose on the air, pounding drums of Stravinsky\'s ‘Rite of Spring.\'

\"Well, apparently the entire school knows that Severus was seen leaving my rooms this morning and I was seen in a state of dishabille.\" she snorted over the noise. \"Gerundevae was concerned that I didn\'t seem to know the proper Slytherin colors. She reminded me.\" She lifted her arm from her face and peered at the animal. \"Right now, I don\'t feel like a Slytherin. Who am I kidding? I\'m not cunning or any of that.\" Her arm dropped back down, draping the upper part of her face. \"I don\'t feel brave or smart or very loyal at all.\" Her sigh rent the air. \"I feel guilty as hell. I feel stupid. I tried to wash him from my body this morning. I tried to scrub him from my skin. I couldn\'t. It\'s still here.\" Both hands lifted and she rubbed them together. \"Out, out damned spot!\" She opened the fingers and inspected them. \"N\'uma. Not working. You know why? Because despite my guilt, I don\'t want to remove him. I want him to come back and do it again and again.\" If she saw Amadeus\' eyes close in pain, she did not remark on it. \"I can still taste him. I have brushed my teeth three times and I still... taste him. Taste his kisses... his scent lingers in my nostrils.\" Her angry inhalation was deep, ragged. \"I want to have my cake and eat it too. Maybe I am a Slytherin.\" Again she lifted her arm and peered down at the animal. \"I don\'t want to like him, I don\'t want to care one little teensy iota for him.\"

Sleep, Baraermin.

\"Why did the Valar do this to me?\" Her voice dropped to a whisper. \"I feel shredded; torn into strips. What I want, what I need, what I feel. Nothing adds up.\"

Go to sleep, Baraer.

\"Oh, Shit!\" she threw her arms out. \"Now I hear Haldir in my head! Tellin\' me to go to sleep of all things!\"

Losto hi, Baraermin. Saes.

\"I can\'t go to sleep.\" Her hand fell on the head of the wolf, and she gazed down at him. \"Someone should tell my husband that I have a quidditch match to go to in about four hours. I can\'t go to sleep.\"

Amadeus scooted forward, his head now propped on her chest. The indigo eyes grew darker and Bronwyn could hear him crooning, growling low in his throat. The angry music began to fade.

Losto hi,...

\"Not... tired...\"

Baraermin.

\"What?\" Whispered.

Losto...

***
TBC
***

Losto hi, Baraermin. Saes. - Sleep now, my fiery one. Please.

The final poem - and excerpt from Dead Man Pavane was written by a dear, dear friend. While she has given me permission to u se this piece, due to the personal nature of which it came, she has asked me not to identify her. I won\'t. Thank you sweetie. There is healing in those words.

I also want to thank all those who have reviewed me. I keep meaning to address each one of you personally and then AFF goes DOWN and I\'m so excited to be able to update here that I cna\'t go and look and pay attention to waht I\'m doing. So, later tonight - when life settles and if this site is STILL up, I will go through and come back and pay my proper respects!