Dirty deeds
folder
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Snape/Hermione
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
39
Views:
25,113
Reviews:
384
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Snape/Hermione
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
39
Views:
25,113
Reviews:
384
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
voodoo child
14 January
Campaign of resistance at work progressing very, very well. It seems that they thought that my leaving early last night was in the nature of going home to sulk. Think actual phrase was something along the lines of licking my wounds. Licked out a very large tub of ice cream I grant you, and would have liked to have been licking something much tastier but we are separated by some 300 miles.
Turned up to work on time. New boss complained that I was late and hadn’t been there to open up the lab. Pointed out that exactly and precisely on time – had to walk round the block several times to delay arrival to necessary point - and that lab opening duties devolved on head of lab and therefore his responsibility.
Went down like a cup of cold sick.
Was told that these duties would continue to be my responsibility. Pointed out that if he wanted me to assume these responsibilities he would have to get a written memo from old boss to the effect that was required to do so. Tosser thought that this was going to be easy. However, old boss never signs anything on basis that way there is never any proof that he has done something. Will be cold day in hell before he signs anything giving me any extra duties as it might draw attention to the fact that he would need to pay me more.
Day’s results included two explosions, someone very nearly losing a hand to a sharp implement, and ruining a trial that had taken six weeks to set up. Not bad for a first day. The sheep are now trying to cosy up to me again on the basis that they would like to live a little longer, but I pointed out to them that the health and safety function was now performed by Tosser and should address all queries to them.
Look of fear on face most gratifying.
Had lunch with Ginny. First time in a year that I have had a chance to do so, and was fun. When have new job am determined that will make more time for fun. Bastards have done me a favour I suppose as can now have mid-life crisis early, realise work isn’t the most important thing in life, and run off with younger man. Obviously not going to do that. Older ones much better.
Told Ginny about job, and she was sympathetic. She is also having torrid time at work as her boss keeps making a pass at her. Said best course of action to say that her boyfriend the jealous type, and that gets very upset and ask if he has been invited to Malfoy Manor for the party at weekend. Doesn’t amount to saying shagging Lucius but gets message across.
She said wouldn’t feel comfortable using Lucius like that. Pointed out that if he found out he would most likelnd ind it amusing. Then asked what way she would feel comfortable in using Lucius, and if felt really guilty about it could always shag him first and then name drop.
She went all thoughtful for a moment and then decided that it was a workable solution. The amount of detail that she provided in response to question about which ways she would feel comfortable using Lucius makes me believe she has been thinking about it for some time. May not find it necessary to mention the shoes he could provide at all.
A successful day all round then. Managed to annoy both bosses, most of co-workers and set Ginny’s mind on track to seduce Luc Not Not sure how you could actually seduce Lucius, as seduction suggests that there might actually be some resistance from him. In reality wouldn’t have to do anything more than turn up on frock, with pulse and smile at him and he would be putty in your hands. Not sure what you would have to do to keep him in a more permanent relationship. Other than getting used to the concept of sharing I suppose.
Tosser clearly not happy when returned from lunch but also clever enough to know not to say anyt. Ha. Have employment contract framed on desk so can point out what will and will not do. When people come and ask for help, merely point at relevant clause and they go away.
Am considering getting a T-shirt that says ‘Do not fuck with Hermione’ but a bit obvious. The sheep forget that I faced down Voldemort with Harry, or do they think I was just there to hold his cloak and sooth his manly brow afterwards? Probably they do. More like prop him up and keep him pointed in the right direction.
Severus’s letter was waiting for me when I got home.
Dear Hermione,
I am sorry to hear of your temporary difficulties at work. Would you like me to poison one or all of them? Could wrap a pink bow round them and give you their corpses as a Valentine’s Day present.
All I know about Saulas is that he is a tosser, but you have already spotted that yourself. He was barely competent at potions, and his other marks were no better. The idea that he is supervising your work is laughable. I know the bitter sting of watching others less deserving getting the job you desire. I think you are very wise to think of leaving. Never believe your boss when he says that it is only a matter of time. I know wizards are longer lived, but I have been waiting for the DADA job for nearly ten years now.
I have scribbled some notes on your list of prospective employers. There are one or two you should definitely not approach – col colleagues of mine, shall we say, or possible sympathisers – but there are enough left that you should be able to choose somewhere rather than having a choice forced upon you.
I wish I could be there to help take your mind off things, but I shall see you in a couple of days. In the meantime I have included with this letter a box of finest Honeyduke’s chocolates, a wax image and some pins. Have fun!
Love,
Severus
Dear Severus,
What a little sweetie you are. (Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone.) The chocolates were great, but the doll was better.
As to the DADA position, why don’t we try and get something on Dumbledore. Perhaps a taste for goats runs in the family? Obviously the best man for the job, and AD is a great prat for not giving it to you.
Looking forward to seeing you on Friday, and I am sure you will be able to do something to cheer me up in person. I may have some news by then about a new job, fingers crossed.
Love,
Hermione
A/N K8gsmith - I developed that phrase myself in relation to my previous employers. How easy it is to write this when the invective had been honed over many months to this highly developed state.
And you may well be right about the sneaky side trip - but dont think it\'s as easy as all that. There will be trouble in paradise.
Jenny - of course you need to keep reviewing. Why stop short at one review pwer chapter - leave more.
I am toying with the idea of writing the Lucius / Ginny story and the Panys / Ron story although not so sure about the second couple. Spent too long in Hermiones head and HATE the ginger little-willied tosser. Lucius and Ginny though....... and have some brilliant lines that I had written for Dirty Deeds that I couldnt use. It\'s just I\'ve never been unfaithful to Severus before now.
Campaign of resistance at work progressing very, very well. It seems that they thought that my leaving early last night was in the nature of going home to sulk. Think actual phrase was something along the lines of licking my wounds. Licked out a very large tub of ice cream I grant you, and would have liked to have been licking something much tastier but we are separated by some 300 miles.
Turned up to work on time. New boss complained that I was late and hadn’t been there to open up the lab. Pointed out that exactly and precisely on time – had to walk round the block several times to delay arrival to necessary point - and that lab opening duties devolved on head of lab and therefore his responsibility.
Went down like a cup of cold sick.
Was told that these duties would continue to be my responsibility. Pointed out that if he wanted me to assume these responsibilities he would have to get a written memo from old boss to the effect that was required to do so. Tosser thought that this was going to be easy. However, old boss never signs anything on basis that way there is never any proof that he has done something. Will be cold day in hell before he signs anything giving me any extra duties as it might draw attention to the fact that he would need to pay me more.
Day’s results included two explosions, someone very nearly losing a hand to a sharp implement, and ruining a trial that had taken six weeks to set up. Not bad for a first day. The sheep are now trying to cosy up to me again on the basis that they would like to live a little longer, but I pointed out to them that the health and safety function was now performed by Tosser and should address all queries to them.
Look of fear on face most gratifying.
Had lunch with Ginny. First time in a year that I have had a chance to do so, and was fun. When have new job am determined that will make more time for fun. Bastards have done me a favour I suppose as can now have mid-life crisis early, realise work isn’t the most important thing in life, and run off with younger man. Obviously not going to do that. Older ones much better.
Told Ginny about job, and she was sympathetic. She is also having torrid time at work as her boss keeps making a pass at her. Said best course of action to say that her boyfriend the jealous type, and that gets very upset and ask if he has been invited to Malfoy Manor for the party at weekend. Doesn’t amount to saying shagging Lucius but gets message across.
She said wouldn’t feel comfortable using Lucius like that. Pointed out that if he found out he would most likelnd ind it amusing. Then asked what way she would feel comfortable in using Lucius, and if felt really guilty about it could always shag him first and then name drop.
She went all thoughtful for a moment and then decided that it was a workable solution. The amount of detail that she provided in response to question about which ways she would feel comfortable using Lucius makes me believe she has been thinking about it for some time. May not find it necessary to mention the shoes he could provide at all.
A successful day all round then. Managed to annoy both bosses, most of co-workers and set Ginny’s mind on track to seduce Luc Not Not sure how you could actually seduce Lucius, as seduction suggests that there might actually be some resistance from him. In reality wouldn’t have to do anything more than turn up on frock, with pulse and smile at him and he would be putty in your hands. Not sure what you would have to do to keep him in a more permanent relationship. Other than getting used to the concept of sharing I suppose.
Tosser clearly not happy when returned from lunch but also clever enough to know not to say anyt. Ha. Have employment contract framed on desk so can point out what will and will not do. When people come and ask for help, merely point at relevant clause and they go away.
Am considering getting a T-shirt that says ‘Do not fuck with Hermione’ but a bit obvious. The sheep forget that I faced down Voldemort with Harry, or do they think I was just there to hold his cloak and sooth his manly brow afterwards? Probably they do. More like prop him up and keep him pointed in the right direction.
Severus’s letter was waiting for me when I got home.
Dear Hermione,
I am sorry to hear of your temporary difficulties at work. Would you like me to poison one or all of them? Could wrap a pink bow round them and give you their corpses as a Valentine’s Day present.
All I know about Saulas is that he is a tosser, but you have already spotted that yourself. He was barely competent at potions, and his other marks were no better. The idea that he is supervising your work is laughable. I know the bitter sting of watching others less deserving getting the job you desire. I think you are very wise to think of leaving. Never believe your boss when he says that it is only a matter of time. I know wizards are longer lived, but I have been waiting for the DADA job for nearly ten years now.
I have scribbled some notes on your list of prospective employers. There are one or two you should definitely not approach – col colleagues of mine, shall we say, or possible sympathisers – but there are enough left that you should be able to choose somewhere rather than having a choice forced upon you.
I wish I could be there to help take your mind off things, but I shall see you in a couple of days. In the meantime I have included with this letter a box of finest Honeyduke’s chocolates, a wax image and some pins. Have fun!
Love,
Severus
Dear Severus,
What a little sweetie you are. (Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone.) The chocolates were great, but the doll was better.
As to the DADA position, why don’t we try and get something on Dumbledore. Perhaps a taste for goats runs in the family? Obviously the best man for the job, and AD is a great prat for not giving it to you.
Looking forward to seeing you on Friday, and I am sure you will be able to do something to cheer me up in person. I may have some news by then about a new job, fingers crossed.
Love,
Hermione
A/N K8gsmith - I developed that phrase myself in relation to my previous employers. How easy it is to write this when the invective had been honed over many months to this highly developed state.
And you may well be right about the sneaky side trip - but dont think it\'s as easy as all that. There will be trouble in paradise.
Jenny - of course you need to keep reviewing. Why stop short at one review pwer chapter - leave more.
I am toying with the idea of writing the Lucius / Ginny story and the Panys / Ron story although not so sure about the second couple. Spent too long in Hermiones head and HATE the ginger little-willied tosser. Lucius and Ginny though....... and have some brilliant lines that I had written for Dirty Deeds that I couldnt use. It\'s just I\'ve never been unfaithful to Severus before now.