A Looping of the Scales ~ COMPLETED

Chapter 20 ~ Afterthoughts

Hermione felt a little out of sorts as she returned to Gryffindor tower. She didn’t know why she felt this way, such a sense of—of resentment. As she walked, it came to her, as terrible as it was. She was out of sorts because Severus had taken an interest in Harry and Ron. She shouldn’t feel that way, but she did. Up to this point, she’d felt rather special being the only student that interacted with him, despite him acting an arse much of the time. It was unsettling to see him getting along with Harry, and Ron to some degree although it was clear that the two were having a kind of pissing contest.

It was selfish of her to feel like the wizard was her territory. He wasn’t. Yes, she had been the first to reach out, but Harry had made an effort too, finally breaking through when he added his memories to the Pensieve. Hermione felt completely left out as they played Quidditch. She’d never felt like that before, and it was because of Snape.

”I’m being silly,” she told herself as she gave the Fat Lady the password.

She should be happy about this development. Snape and Harry could finally be—well—friends, something Harry had wanted since discovering the dark wizard’s role in protecting him, and something the elder Snape wanted nothing to do with. He had disliked Harry for so long, it was impossible to change his feelings toward the young wizard.

The fact was, now, without the preconceptions of his past adult life, it was easier for Snape to accept Harry, especially when he saw the harsh life the young wizard had lived through. He hadn’t known much kindness before Hogwarts, and then he was thrust into a world he knew nothing about, a world full of danger at every turn. Completely unprepared, he stood up to what he had to face and overcame it.

Harry Potter had been set up to die from the moment he survived Voldemort’s curse. But he didn’t lie down and do it. He would have been willing to, but Snape’s part in loyally protecting him all those years, then nearly making the greatest sacrifice of all insured he did win. They had been partners in Voldemort’s downfall and never knew it. Well, Snape knew it now. They both did. And that made their association possible and—special.

Snape was solitary by nature, Lily having been the only friend he associated with intimately, but he saw the closeness of Harry and his two friends. He had others he associated with, but the boy’s circle was close—small. He was very much in line with Snape as far as that went. So, he did join them and it wasn’t too bad at all, once he got past how much Harry looked like James. It was only his eyes that made him bearable. Lily’s eyes. Something Snape could relate to besides his paternity. Something he could—accept.

Harry Potter just wasn’t his father’s son; he was Lily’s son, too. This time around it was his connection to Lily, not James that helped shape Snape’s decision to give him a chance.

He wasn’t the least bit interested in forming any friendships with any of the other students. He felt because he used to be a teacher, and because he didn’t have a real position in Slytherin house, he should be aloof, and careful. Based on how he was as a teacher, there could be a few students that had it in for him. Not that he was really worried about it, but he felt it would be better to stay to himself, take his NEWTS and move on.

He didn’t stand an iceball’s chance in hell of having a normal final term at Hogwarts anyway. He would be seen as little more than a curiosity by the students, and they would know more about him than he knew about himself. He’d rather not give them that advantage if he could help it. No, solitude was the better option, with a little interaction with Potter and his friends for respite.

Hermione entered her room, took out her books and went to work. It was rather hard to concentrate, but she managed to push away her negative feelings by thinking about all the wonderful books she’d have access to tomorrow evening. Plus, she would have Snape all to herself.

She wasn’t sure how good that would be, really, but at least she could keep feeling “special.”

She needed that, especially since she no longer had a boyfriend. Having Ron made her feel like a “normal” witch in some aspects. It was something she shared with other witches, something they could understand. It was almost as if Ron validated her in some manner, made her more acceptable to her peers, despite her brilliance. Now, he was gone and she was back to being the over-achieving “know-it-all.”

But, she’d get through it.

She always did.

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”A special dispensation, Severus?” Minerva asked the pale wizard sitting in front of her desk. “Whatever for?”

Snape had contacted her after supper via the Floo to ask if he could have a word with her. Normally, an appointment had to be made for late visitations, but the Headmistress had seen so little of her former professor, that she told him to come to her office directly. Now he sat before her desk asking for a special allowance. Albus’ portrait was noticeably empty.

”Well, there have been some changes in the curriculum, changes that could affect my NEWT marks. I’ve managed to secure a study partner to help me with the new requirements, but I think we will need more study time. We’ll be studying in my rooms, and I’d like to have an additional two hours past curfew in order to greater utilize our time together.”

Minerva frowned slightly.

”What is your focus, Severus?” she asked him.

”Arithmancy has been utilized with potions. When I attended Hogwarts, it wasn’t. I did well in Arithmancy, but only received an “Acceptable.” It wasn’t my main focus. Now, I need to bone up on it.”

”But that’s only one subject, Severus. Surely you don’t need all that time,” the witch countered.

”But I do. You see, part of the agreement is that my library will be available to my study partner. The extra time will be used for that,” he replied.

Minerva nodded. Snape’s library would be of great help to anyone studying for the NEWTS. She pulled a parchment toward her.

”Very well, Severus. I will extend the curfew for your study partner from nine to eleven on the weekdays and until one on the weekends,” she said, writing on the parchment with her quill. “Now, who is your study partner?”

”Hermione Granger,” he replied.

Minerva’s quill faltered as she stared at the wizard.

”Hermione Granger?” she repeated.

Snape nodded.

”Yes,” he replied.

Minerva frowned slightly. For some reason, she had assumed his study partner would be male. Severus had his own private quarters. Hermione Granger being alone with him at such a late hour hardly seemed—well—seemly. The fact that she would be in his quarters at all, without supervision was an issue, although Hermione had every right to be. There were no restrictions on whom Severus could have in his rooms. Still—

“Severus, I’m not sure if—“ she began

Snape frowned at her.

”Don’t tell me that my study partner being a female makes a difference, Headmistress,” he said, his expression disdainful. “She’s going to be helping me. Nothing more.”

Minerva looked at him, torn. Severus was already at a disadvantage, not being familiar with the curriculum changes. Her denying him would just add to the problem. Besides, she had already said she would give the dispensation.

”No, it doesn’t, Severus,” she said heavily, adding Hermione’s name to the parchment, and then sliding it over to him. “I’ll let Filch know about the dispensation.”

Snape tucked the parchment into his inside pocket and rose.

”Thank you, Headmistress,” he said with a little bow, then headed for the Floo.

”Severus?”

He turned back toward Minerva.

”Yes, Headmistress?”

”How—how are things for you?”

Snape considered.

”They are fairly well. I have no complaints,” he replied.

Minerva was hoping for a little more about how he was adjusting, but she remembered how he was as a teen. He never offered more than was necessary.

”Good. You may go,” she said.

”Thank you,” he replied, grabbing a handful of Floo powder and tossing it into the flames of the fireplace. They turned green.

”My quarters,” he said, then stepped through.

Albus’ image returned to the portrait.

“He’s chosen an excellent study partner,” the portrait said.

Minerva nodded.

”Yes, but—they’re going to be alone together, Albus,” she responded, looking troubled.

”And why is that a problem?”

Minerva shrugged.

”It’s just that they’re both so young, and you know how hormonal teenagers can be. With his own quarters—“

”Minerva, you can’t hope to curtail what’s been happening between men and women from time immemorial,” the portrait said. “Don’t concern yourself. They are both over the age of consent. Besides, Miss Granger is very focused on her NEWTS. She’s taking eleven of them, isn’t she?”

”Yes,” Minerva responded.

”I doubt she has time to think of anything other than preparation. And if she does, then that is really her affair, Minerva. You did the right thing,” the portrait told her.

”I hope so,” Minerva replied. “I really do.”

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Snape returned to his quarters and placed the dispensation on his desk. He’d give it to Hermione tomorrow evening. It should be quite the surprise. He then turned to the project he was working on and pulled out his wand, adding a few final touches. He stepped back and studied his work, quite satisfied with it.

It was really a work of art and should make studying much easier on the both of them.

Maybe he should think about patenting it.

That done, he fixed himself a small Firewhiskey, appreciating the burn as he knocked it back. He’d only take one an evening. It relaxed him, but he wasn’t interested in becoming inebriated. He liked keeping his wits about him.

Now, it was time to work on his little side project. He magically removed his robes, stood in the center of his study and relaxed, focusing on centering himself. This was something he’d been working on since he was fifteen. He hadn’t yet seen results, but if those idiot Marauders could pull it off, so could he.

He just had to continue to apply himself.

He stood there, trying to release what was inside him, the natural side, the primal part of himself. Once again he felt the world bend around him for an instant and prayed that this time, this time something would happen—

Again, he was disappointed and stopped. He wasn’t supposed to force it. It had to happen naturally.

He’d try again tomorrow. And the next day. And the next.

He’d keep trying until he got it right.

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A/N: Thanks for reading.