It Was Only A Kiss!

Chapter Twenty

Sirius looked up as a shadow stealthily entered the quiet, darkened room. ‘Hi,' he murmured, his voice low and the darkened outline of a tall, gangly boy came to a halt.

‘Hey, you‘re okay?’ Remus whispered, stepping into the silvery light cast across the stone floor by the waxing moon.

Sirius nodded and smiled in what he hoped was a reassuring manner as he patted the bed next to him. ‘Pull up a pew, Moony,' he said in a hushed tone, casting a glance over at the other silent beds.

‘Generous of you, Padfoot,' Remus said wryly, sitting down in the offered space. 'Considering this is my bed.’

Sirius let out a huff of amusement then leaned into Remus' touch as the werwolf's hand lifted to cup Sirius’ cheek, checking the site of the earlier injury.

‘You healed yourself?’ Remus asked and Sirius nodded, waving his wand at the curtains and watching them shut before casting a Silencing Spell.

He looked at Remus as the other boy's hand fell from his face.

‘Regulus?’

Remus blinked almost imperceptibility. ‘He’s fine,' he said, a little shortly. 'Snape had healed him by the time I got to his common room.’

Sirius closed his eyes in relief. As much as he disliked his brother, he hated the thought of Regulus being hurt by his hand. Snape would be rejoicing in the animosity between the Black brothers, though, and Sirius felt a wave of resentment towards the hook-nosed student.

Bloody Snape...

Something clicked in Sirius' brain as he cursed the greasy-haired git and he frowned, opening his eyes and tilting his head as he looked closely at Remus' unusually tense and closed-up face.

‘How do you know that Snape healed him?‘ he asked, his heart skipping a beat when he saw Remus' stony facade wobble for a moment and he knew instantly what Remus had done. ‘You showed yourself to him, didn't you?'

He didn't need an answer; it was written all over Remus' face. 'Remus…why…? What did he say to you? He had a go, didn‘t he?’

Sirius felt anger bubbling up inside of him as Remus' jaw tightened, but the other boy just shrugged, his hand dropping casually to Sirius’ thigh.

‘I thought I might be able to explain…talk him around, but he wasn’t having it.'

'What did he say?' Sirius pushed and Remus sighed heavily, looking away.

'It was just the usual 'werewolf' bile - "half breed, animal, wait until my parents find out you've corrupted the noble heir of the family Black…"’

‘Prat,' Sirius spat viciously, fists clenching as he imagined himself wringing Regulus' scrawny little neck. He opened his mouth to curse his brother some more, but caught sight of Remus' face.

There was more...

‘What else, Remus?' he asked through gritted teeth. 'Tell me everything.’

He saw the werewolf swallow hard, his throat visibly undulating, and knew that this was going to be bad.

‘He said that once your parents found out about me, I’d never see you again,' Remus said, words rushing out fast and emotionless. 'That you would never choose me over your family and inheritance. That…that they’d see me put down like the animal I am for…for turning you.’

Sirius snarled and jumped to his feet; his, until now, slow-boiling anger flaring fast and hot. ‘I’ll go and fucking finish what I started!’ he fumed, but Remus stood as well, pulling him back down onto the bed.

‘You will not!' he snapped, gripping Sirius' arm almost painfully tight. 'You’ll stay here and ignore it just like I’m going to.’

His tone was firm, but the flicker of pain in his eyes gave him away.

‘You…you don’t believe him, do you?’ Sirius stammered, all anger draining away fast as concern filled him. He frowned when he saw Remus look away guiltily.

‘Remus…’ He gripped the other boy’s chin and forced his face back to his. ‘Do you? You don't really think I'd leave you for them?’

Remus met his eye and the insecurity and fear in his face took Sirius’ breath away.

‘You said yourself you’d never tell them because they’d disown you and I know you still care what they think,' Remus said softly, the low tone of his voice not hiding the strain there. 'Regulus… Regulus said he wouldn’t tell anyone about me or us if I left you alone, if I b...broke up with you.’

Remus blinked several times then cleared his throat. ‘P…Padfoot, if that’s what you want…if you can’t stand the thought of being disinherited, I’ll…I’ll do it.’

Sirius couldn't hide the quaver in his voice as he choked out, ‘You’d break up with me?’

‘To stop your parents disowning you - yes,' Remus said, his own voice tremulous. 'If that‘s what you wanted. I just…I want you to be happy, Sirius.’

Sirius stared at the brown-haired boy. Remus would sacrifice his own happiness so Sirius could keep his reputation? So he could stay in the good books with a family that wanted nothing but progeny and a continued blood line from him?

Of course he bloody would. That’s exactly what Remus would do.

The contrasts between his family and Remus seemed incredibly stark right now and Sirius felt as though he were straddling an ever widening gulf. On one side was the family that he just couldn’t seem to let go of, but that would only ever accept him on their terms regardless of his feelings. On the other side was the only person who had ever put him first and who was willing to walk away from his own happiness if that's what Sirius wanted.

He was being stretched to his breaking point and he knew the time had come to make a choice and plant his feet firmly on one side or the other.

‘I don’t want that, Remus,' he said, making his decision with startling ease.

Remus frowned. ‘But your parents…’

‘I’ll deal with it,' Sirius interrupted, desperate to convince Remus that his feelings were true. 'Maybe Regulus won’t even tell them. Maybe they’ll be so ashamed of me they won’t tell anyone and just continue to ignore me - their prejudice could work in my favour.’

‘Sirius…’

‘Maybe I just don’t care anymore,' he said fervently, cupping the werewolf's face. 'Remus, please. I…I want you and I won't give you up. I don't care what they think or what they do. Nobody else matters but you.’

He leaned in and kissed Remus almost chastely, feeling the other boy’s slightly chapped lips quivering against his own. Pulling back minutely, he touched his forehead to Remus‘, hands still framing his scarred face.

‘Let me show you how much I want you,' he whispered.

Remus exhaled tremulously, wide, still-uncertain blue eyes closing as Sirius tried to make up for the hurt his family had caused. Pressing his lips to Remus’ face, he scattered hot, needy kisses to every inch of his skin.

‘Please, Remus?’ he begged, feeling the other boy's resistance.

He kissed the brown-haired boy’s lips softly, but with such intense purpose that Remus' very bones melted under the onslaught. Each short kiss punctuated a plea.

‘Please?’

Kiss

‘Please?’

Kiss

‘Please?’

Remus grasped Sirius’ face between his palms and capitulated, kissing him with everything he had, trying desperately in that one lip lock to show the brunette just how much he meant to him.

Sirius returned the kiss just as feverishly, his intent identical to Remus‘. The fight tonight had shaken them - they had been exposed before they were ready and they needed this, needed reassurance that in the backlash that may come, they had something special, something worth hanging onto and fighting for.

Remus felt Sirius’ fingers scrabble at his shirt, tearing at the buttons as the kiss became more urgent. His own hands raised to help, pulling the fabric from his shoulders before their hands moved to Sirius’ t-shirt, yanking it roughly over his ebony hair. With a little moan of appreciation, Remus flattened his palms against the other boy’s pectorals and dragged them down to his stomach, revelling in the way the muscles tensed in reaction.

‘Moony.’

The nickname whispered breathlessly against his lips made desire curl tight in Remus’ stomach and his hands moved to the other boy’s belt, fumbling uncoordinatedly at the buckle as Sirius pushed him back onto the mattress. Sirius' hands moved to cover Remus’ briefly before he moved away, quickly divesting himself of his jeans and boxers. Remus' hands shifted to do the same to himself, but Sirius stopped him with a shake of his head.

‘I want to do it. I want to undress you.’

Remus didn’t argue, couldn't argue; the way Sirius’ eyes ran hungrily over his bare skin made any type of logical speech or thought impossible, and when the brunette’s lips descended to trace the curve of his collar bone, Remus surrendered his very soul to the dark devil who had already claimed his heart.

Fingers slowed to trace the tributaries of Remus' scars, each one worshipped with an awe and respect that melted Remus’ marrow, turning it into liquid fire that spread through every vein, and artery, and organ until he felt as though he would combust. Sirius’ lips trailed after his fingers; tongue and teeth marking the path taken with saliva and raised red marks. The Animagus was marking him, claiming him, covering him with Padfoot’s scent so there was no doubt to whom he belonged. The wolf inside him growled in satisfaction, more placid than it had ever been this close to the moon. It was just as eager to be claimed by its mate as Remus was by his.

Remus moaned and writhed under Sirius’ touch, the zipper of his pants straining under the growing pressure of his swelling cock. Shifting on the bed, Sirius brushed quick, feather light kisses along the waist band of Remus' jeans then nuzzled his nose into the denim-covered crotch.

‘Sirius…p…please?’

At the plea, the brunette’s teeth bore down lightly on the long bulge, nibbling along the length of it before Remus let out another choked off cry and twisted his hands tight in ebony locks.

Sirius let out a whimper as black strands were pulled from his scalp and took the hint, drawing Remus’ zipper down slowly then popping the button. His lips twitched in a smile when he heard the werewolf’s sigh of relief as some of the pressure on his aching cock was relieved. Remus’ hands joined Sirius’ in tugging down his pants and boxers then he moaned loudly as a hand curled around his shaft and stroked once, twice…then disappeared.

‘Fuck! Keep going!’ he pleaded, making Sirius chuckled wickedly.

He skimmed his hands ran down Remus’ legs then coasted back up the insides, gently easing the limbs apart, exposing the other boy’s most intimate areas to his gaze.

‘Be patient, Moony,' he murmured, eyes devouring the body laid out in front of him like a man who was starving eyed a buffet.

Remus squirmed a little under the dark, almost black-eyed gaze then groaned as hot lips brushed over the sensitive skin of his inner thigh. Nerves sizzled as Remus' blood turned to molten lava and all he could feel was fire and those fucking incredible lips that were trailing a damp path that edged ever closer to where he was most needy. A warm tongue traced the crease where his leg joined his groin and Remus almost cried in desperation.

‘G…gods! Sirius, I need…’

A hand wrapped around his impossibly hard cock again and Remus’ moan of relief and need was loud in the air. Teeth nipped dangerously at his sac, which tightened immediately in defence and desire. As a tongue laved the injured skin, a finger, quickly coated in saliva, probed at the tight entrance to the werewolf’s body.

Remus was almost embarrassed at how quickly his legs parted, spreading wantonly across the bed to allow Sirius unhindered access to his body. But as the fingers pushed inside him, all discomfiture was forgotten as he burned with both pleasure and pain. Sirius’ fingers scissored, stretching Remus’ body in preparation for…

Remus’ tightly closed eyes popped open as the full realisation of what Sirius was doing and why hit him.

‘P…Pads?’

Sirius looked up, seeing the question in Remus’ eyes and he rose, stilling his fingers, though not removing them.

‘Is it okay? I know I said I wanted you to fuck me and I still do but…’

He bit his lip then leaned over to kiss the other boy on the mouth, lips brushing as he spoke, ’I want to be in you tonight. I want to be part of you. Is…is that alright?’

Remus worried his lip as he thought and Sirius prayed his boyfriend could really read his mind as he'd so often complained he could. He had to do this, had to show Remus how much he wanted him, to be buried inside him, to be part of something good and pure.

His relief was palpable when the werewolf nodded.

‘It’s okay,' Remus said with a nervous smile. 'I want you to...do it.’

Sirius smiled widely then moved his fingers deeper inside Remus, brushing over the bundle of nerves hidden in the cavity. The sandy-haired boy's smiling face crumpled into lust as he groaned and closed his eyes, a kaleidoscope of colours bursting like fireworks inside his head.

Sirius voice was full of want when he opened his mouth to tease his lover. ‘You want me to what, Remus?’

The werewolf’s blue eyes snapped open and turned black with lust. Sirius saw him swallow, but his voice was still rough when he answered, ‘I want you inside me. I want you to fuck me.’

Sirius whimpered and crashed his lips down onto Remus'.

‘Do you have any idea how fucking hot it is to hear you say that? Sweet Merlin, Remus! I have never wanted anything this much.’

Remus’ hand skimmed down the front of Sirius’ body to grip his weeping cock, gasping in surprise when the Animagus bit down on his bottom lip then licked it in apology. Sirius pulled away, his fingers slipping out of Remus’ body as he reached over to fumble in a drawer for lube. His hands were shaking as he clumsily opened it and squeezed too much out.

‘Shit,' he cursed and Remus sat up.

‘Sirius, settle down,' he murmured, his calmness for once appreciated beyond measure by the brunette. 'Let me…’

Remus grabbed a tissue from the side table and wiped half the lubricant off Sirius’ cupped hand. Then he scooped some of the remainder up and reached down between the brunette‘s legs, applying it very thoroughly to Sirius’ member. His fingers moved slowly, ensuring the cool emollient was smoothed over every inch of the shaft, caressing it into every crevasse and ridge of the throbbing flesh.

Sirius felt the coil of pleasure inside him tightened almost past endurance and wrapped his hand around Remus' to stop his motion. ‘S…stop.’

He closed his eyes tight, panting as he tried to force down his excitement, his eagerness. He didn’t want this to be over as soon as he was inside Remus, nor did he want to hurt him because he was too far gone to take care. He wanted this to be special, to be…incredible.

‘Sirius? I’m ready. Please?’

Remus lay back on the bed, tugging on Sirius’ arm in an attempt to pull him down with him. The Animagus quickly obliged, his fingers quickly moving between Remus’ legs to apply the lubricant to the already stretched entrance. He smiled when the werewolf moaned loudly, pushing his hips up and moving a hand to his own cock, stroking in time with the thrusts of Sirius’ fingers. Sirius whimpered, unable to wait any longer as the sight of Remus pleasuring himself proved too much too handle.

‘Remus…’

Sirius grabbed a pillow and stuck it under the werewolf’s backside, seeing Remus’ questioning gaze as he raised his hips to help.

‘Easier access, Moony,' he explained and Remus flushed even further.

‘So…is this okay? This…position?' Remus asked tentatively. 'I thought you might prefer...on my hands and knees...?'

Sirius stared down at the long, lithe almost-man in front of him and for a moment, was lost for words. He saw the expected desire and the slight apprehension in those blue eyes, but more overwhelmingly, trust and love and he knew he wanted to see those eyes looking into his as they did this. No one had ever looked at him like that and Sirius felt a wholeness he’d never experienced before. He felt as though all of the darkness, all of the sores and wounds on his soul were being soothed and healed.

Remus was healing him.

And he loved him for it.

He loved him.

‘Sirius? Is this alright?’

He blinked and nodded, his voice gravely with both lust and emotion when he answered.

‘Perfect. You're perfect.’

He leaned over Remus, hissing as their cocks and lips met at the same time. Remus shuddered underneath him as their lips frantically tasted each other and hips ground desperately. Then Sirius shifted, his cock head aligning itself with unerring accuracy with Remus' body, and they both immediately paused in their frenetic movements.

Sirius felt Remus’ heart beating in a rhythm as rapid as his own as the blunt head of his erection pressed insistently at the entrance to the other boy’s body. For a moment, it seemed as if it would be impossible, that they wouldn’t fit together then Remus drew his knees to his chest, opening himself, and Sirius felt the head of his cock push past an excruciatingly tight ring of muscle to sit inside Remus' body.

Remus winced and made a noise in his throat and Sirius quickly stopped himself from sliding any further forward.

‘R…Remus?’

Remus’ eyes were shut tightly and his chest was rising and falling fast. Sirius grit his teeth; Remus' eyes weren't the only part of the other boy that clenched and, as the werewolf's muscles tightened around Sirius' cock, the brunette quickly recited Potions ingredients in his head to stop himself from giving in to the grasping body below him.

Finally, Remus let out a long shaky breath and opened his eyes, looking directly into Sirius' grey orbs as he nodded. ‘S’okay. Just…slow, yeah? Really, really slow.'

Sirius took a deep breath and pressed forward, letting out a little whimper as he slid in deeper. His cock throbbed, feeling too big for the tight, tight sleeve of Remus’ body, but Remus bore down as Sirius pushed and the hot, velvet walls gave way as, inch by inch, he became part of someone else.

Sirius finally stopped, his cock now buried to the hilt inside Remus, balls resting against Remus' balls, and both boys’ eyes remained clenched shut as they concentrated on pushing past the uncomfortable burning and squeezing of the first moments of their joining. Sirius fumbled for Remus’ hand, the werewolf’s fingers gripping his hard and suddenly, it was alright.

Their eyes opened, watching each other’s face as their sweat-slicked bodies adjusted and relaxed, and desire returned. Sirius gave Remus’ fingers a squeeze then ran that hand down the werewolf’s body, slipping in between them to close around his lover’s nearly flaccid cock.

He held himself still inside Remus’ body as he stroked the boy’s smooth length, pleased that the phallus immediately began to harden under his ministrations. Remus moaned as Sirius ran his thumb over the tip, spreading pre-come over the soft head in a concentric motion that made the sandy-haired boy arch up.

As Remus’ hips fell back onto the mattress, Sirius’ body moved inside him and both boys gasped. The brunette held himself still until Remus’ strangled voice begged…

‘Move, Padfoot! Please?’

He did as Remus asked, and knew immediately that he wasn’t going to last long. Remus was too hot, too tight and this was too overwhelming. Being with a woman for the first time hadn’t been anything like this and as he withdrew then pushed slowly back into his friend, he knew that this was what he’d always wanted, this was why sex with girls had always been so unfulfilling.

He’d been searching for this feeling.

He couldn’t keep up his motion on Remus’ cock so he grabbed the boy’s hand, dragging it to his erection and Remus took the hint, fisting himself as Sirius gripped the werewolf’s narrow hips with both hands and withdrew once more. His re-entry was faster this time, and he moaned, control fraying fast.

‘Too close…fuck!’

His trembling became violent as he thrust once, twice more then with the third, the hardest, plunge, he cried out Remus’ name, as he exploded with a force that made him see stars. He shuddered and shook, pumping his hips with decreasing speed until he finally collapsed onto Remus’ chest, trapping the werewolf’s hand between them.

Panting, he tried to regain some composure before he opened his eyes. When he felt warm lips press against his forehead, he looked up at Remus, grinning then shifted and frowned when he realised Remus hadn’t come.

‘Fuck!' he swore, embarrassed about his lack of staying power. 'I’m sorry, Rem…’

‘It’s okay,' Remus smiled, but Sirius shook his head.

‘No, it’s not,' he snapped, frustrated at himself. 'I wanted it to be good for you…’

‘It was, Sirius,' Remus insisted. 'It was…amazing.’

Sirius looked down at the reassuring blue eyes, knowing his own were regretful. ‘No it wasn’t,' he said. 'But I can certainly try to fix it.’

He moved carefully, pulling out of Remus before he slithered down his body, taking the brown-haired boy’s still-stiff cock deep into his mouth. It wasn’t the best blow job he’d ever given - he was still short of breath and shaky after his own climax, but when Remus yanked on his dark hair less than a minute later and he tasted the first pulse of thick come, Sirius felt as though he may have just redeemed himself.

TBC...