Scarred Souls

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Title: Scarred Souls



Author: Misty Moonlight/Co-author: QueenBoadicea



Beta: QueenBoadicea



Pairings: Severus/Harry



Published: 12/10/2008



Summary: A widowed Harry must bond with Snape in order to save his daughter’s life. Sev gains a family, for better or worse, and the hearts of two scarred souls will be changed forever.



Warnings: Romance, Drama, Angst, Alternate Reality/Universe, Sexual Situations, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slash, Anal, Language, Humor, possible MPreg, Bonding, Original Characters, Family, non-canon, OOC, WIP



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Chapter 21: Well-Laid Plans





The dinner was freshly prepared and lay gently steaming on the table. Snape was no gourmet cook by any stretch of the imagination; an affinity for potions didn’t necessarily translate into being a cordon bleu chef. But he’d found a battered cookbook among the kitchen shelves and had been able to whip up something edible.



He thought the steak-and-kidney pie with mashed potatoes was fairly adequate…and the tuber mash was a perfect conduit for the potion. If the potato wasn’t to Potter’s liking, the treacle tart would do nicely. That had been the one thing he couldn’t make. However, he’d found plenty in the Coldkeep.



He had given thought as to what he would do with the potion if it proved successful. It was possible to patent it and make himself a small fortune. Amortentia was good enough for stupid schoolchildren. But adults might pay very well for a love elixir that was colorless and odorless…



But he hesitated to add it when Potter wasn’t on the premises. Where was the blasted man? Severus had been here for hours now and he hadn’t returned. He couldn’t still be at work, could he? Was he shacked up at the Burrow or Grimmauld Place?



Severus didn’t want to bother calling the Burrow again; he’d only run into more of those troublesome Weasleys. Molly would be uncooperative and Arthur would dither in his useless way. If Harry were there, he’d likely prefer a meal by Mrs. Weasley over anything Severus could concoct.



“Snivellus, you rotten, twisted, sick little homunculus. Is this the sort of thing you picked up at Voldemort’s knee?”



“More likely Voldemort’s tit. The two of them are hideous enough to have come from the same nest,” said head number one.



“I told the witch doctor I was in love with you. I told the witch doctor I was in love with you, and then the witch doctor he told me what to do. He said, ‘Oo ee oo ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang! Oo ee oo ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang! Oo ee oo ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang!’”



The hours passed and Potter did not return. The chorus from the heads grew louder and more penetrating with the passage of time. Finally, Severus cleared the meal away with his wand, feeling furious and aggrieved.



He’d gone to all this effort for Potter. The least the man could have done was show up.



He leaned against the banister and shook his head slowly. It was inane for him to feel put upon; after all, Potter hadn’t demanded that he cook or keep house for him. He’d done his best to stay out of Severus’s way and had tried, with that ill-fated outing to the orphanage, to rectify the debacle in the Prophet. Why then should he feel so angry with the brat?



He thought of Harry’s wounded eyes when Severus had rebuffed his efforts. The hurt and misery on Lily’s face when he’d called her a Mudblood swam into his mind. She had warned him against the evil of his new “friends” in Hogwarts but he’d ignored her, too spitefully happy that she hated his rival, James Potter.



Had her death at the Dark Lord’s hands been as Harry related? Voldemort had told Snape that she’d attacked him, that she had fired a spell at him causing him to retaliate. But Harry’s tale told a different story. His master had struck down an unarmed mother defending her child.



It hurt to think she’d died that way, that she had sacrificed herself to save her child…and he had shown that selfsame child nothing but contempt and loathing. What would Lily think if she’d seen how badly he’d served her?



Severus was unaccountably weary and he noticed with distant surprise that his hands were shaking.



Was it time…? Yes, he needed the antivenin and pain-killers. That’s what was wrong with him. He’d administer them and be his usual self in no time. This maudlin introspection of his would pass.



Dragging himself up stairs that seemed infinitely longer than usual, Severus staggered to his bedroom and reached for his potions. He swallowed and shivered as his usual self-confidence re-asserted itself.



His momentary pity was gone. When morning came, he would renew the attack. He had a dozen flacons filled with the brew. He could afford to wait.



“I put a spell on youuuuuu because you’re miiiiiiinnnnee.”



Severus resisted the sudden, violent urge to scream.



********************************************************************



Harry decided to stay at Grimmauld Place a few days longer. Hermione’s warning as well as Snape’s attempt to trick him into bed were preying on his mind and he was very reluctant to get within the man’s reach again. Grimmauld Place, while not the coziest of homesteads, provided him with a refuge from the conniving Potions master.



The Dark Arts library was useful too. Hermione was often in there, when she wasn’t involved in her work at the Ministry of Magic. She was actively campaigning for equal rights, not just among wizards and witches, but for other outcast members of society. Harry smiled when he remembered her strident efforts to free house-elves when they were at Hogwarts. They’d all been so young, so filled with reckless confidence and the clear notion of what right and wrong were.



Now he was older and his life hadn’t turned out as he’d thought it would. Things should have been simpler, but they weren’t. He and Ginny should be growing old together and enjoying themselves when the children went off to school. Now his beloved was dead and he was shackled to his horrible, old, greasy Potions master. Life really had a way of throwing nasty surprises.



What was Snape doing now? He shuddered to think about it. The man was probably rearranging the cottage to suit his every whim. Merlin knew what mess Harry would find when he returned.



Maybe he should just move out permanently and leave the cottage to Snape. He was reluctant to do that; he and Ginny had made it a home. They’d had so many happy years there, watching their little family grow. There had been celebrations, anniversaries, parties and quiet evenings spent together. It wasn’t fair that he should abandon it to that man, driven out like a fleeing refugee.



The twins seemed happy enough, although he detected signs of misery in Albus’s green eyes. The younger twin occasionally asked him when they were going home and Harry had no clear answer for him. James seemed determined to make the most of their time and Harry had his hands full keeping them from getting in Kreacher’s way or bothering the talking portraits stored in the attic.



The only respite came from their occasional outings. Daringly, Harry had taken the children to visit Muggle London a few times and the boys had been delighted. At this stage, they couldn’t practice magic, so there was little to differentiate between them and Muggle children. Their eyes had gone wide at the bustle in Piccadilly Circus. Lily had shrieked happily at being bombarded by pigeons they fed and the food and sweets had rivaled anything they could have picked up in Diagon Alley.



Riding along in fast cabs and double-decker buses had been a dangerous thrill, with the boys nearly falling out when they bent over the sides and out windows. They had been tickled at seeing the Beefeaters in front of the Tower of London. Like most tourists, they had posed next to them and engaged in silly antics to get the men to move or crack a smile.



They had picked up lovely souvenirs, taken lots of pictures and Harry had promised them they could visit again someday, when Lily was older. All in all, it had been a wonderful break.



Maybe he could make the move permanent. No matter what Hermione thought, the world was wide and there were plenty of places filled with people who had never heard of Harry Potter. Would it be so bad to lose his magic, take his children and disappear? Snape might have wanted to make his life hell but would he give up his practice and scour the Muggle world just to resume torturing his bond mate? Harry didn’t think he was that persistent…was he?



He would avoid Snape in the interim while Hermione worked hard, both in her capacity as legal advisor in the Ministry and in her private searches for loopholes in the Unbreakable Vow. He’d once said Hermione was the smartest person he knew and he meant it. If there was anyone who could figure a way out of or around this mess, it was her. Meanwhile, he’d steer clear of his so-called bond mate.



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Harry strode into the orphanage the next morning only to stop dead at seeing Ron standing stiffly at the door.



“Oi, Ron. What’re you doing here?” It wasn’t like Ron to be at his place of work. It wasn’t that Ron didn’t like kids. But his job as an Auror kept him pretty busy. Besides, if he were coming to see Harry, he would have sent an owl. He wouldn’t just have shown up.



“Hello, Harry. Look, could we talk outside in the back for a minute?” There was an outside play area for the children to romp about in so they could enjoy sunshine and fresh air. There was a fence around it, built with money he’d donated. Harry remembered too well how Fenrir Greyback had boasted about attacking children and he took no chances.



“Sure. No problem, mate. You know the way.” Harry waved Ron ahead. The red-haired man hesitated then moved ahead of Harry. He walked unerringly to the play area and turned around.



He found Harry facing him, wand in hand. “Right. Keep your hands up where I can see them,” Harry said levelly.



“Wha-? Harry, mate, what’re you doing?”



“You’re not Ron. Ron’s never been back to the play area before. He doesn’t have a clue where this place is.”



“Harry, I stopped in before you got here and asked where this place was. I didn’t want to alarm anybody by Apparating in and waiting here.”



“On the train to Hogwarts our first year, what spell did you try on Pettigrew?” Harry snapped.



“What?”



“I’m waiting.”



Ron blinked. Then his expression became grudgingly respectful. “Very good, Potter. I must commend you on your caution. It’s good to see that you haven’t lost all your vaunted skills since the war ended.”



The voice was still Ron’s. But the barely concealed contempt… “Snape?”



The red-headed man crossed his arms and smirked. That clinched it. Ron never smirked like that and the posture was all Snape.



Harry clenched his wand, furious at the attempted deception. “What’s the idea, Snape? Gotten bored with attacking me in your own skin? You have to try using my friend’s?”



“Don’t be an idiot, Potter,” “Ron” snapped. “I’m merely trying to get you alone and didn’t want anyone seeing me at this place.”



“Why?”



“Why what? Why I didn’t want to be seen or why I wished to speak to you?”



“Both, I guess.”



“Very well. And do lower that wand. It will look highly strange to anybody looking out and seeing you.”



Harry reluctantly lowered the wand though he didn’t take it off the other figure entirely. “So talk, Snape. What’s so urgent you decide you actually want my company? And why the disguise?”



The other man’s jaw worked. It was truly weird to see Snape’s expressions on his best mate’s face. “I wished to…apologize.”



“What?” Of all the things Harry expected to hear, it wasn’t that. “Apologize for what?”



“I’ve treated you badly and I wished to make amends for it.”



Again, not what he expected to hear. “Make amends how?”



“I propose a dinner—for just the two of us at your cottage.”



“We’ve tried eating together, Snape. The first time, you wanted to sleaze your way into my bed. The second time, you made it clear you found my children totally unbearable. Why should I decide I want to eat with you alone now?”



“As I stated, I wished to apologize. I also want us to start afresh. You wanted to show the world we could be a couple. I wish to make that a reality.”



He seemed sincere. But it was hard to judge when he was in another man’s skin. “So why did you feel you had to look like Ron to ask me this?”



“Frankly, I didn’t believe you’d let me approach or even listen if you saw it was truly I.”



Yes, that made sense. He was keeping clear of Snape and the other man knew it. Gotta hand it to Snape; he knew how to overcome obstacles. Guess that’s what him such a good agent in the wars against Voldemort.



“You’re right. But I still don’t know that I want to be alone with you.” An idea struck. “Then again, we could make this work.”



Triumph flared briefly before wariness shadowed the freckled face. “What did you have in mind?”



“You want us to be a couple. You also want us to be seen together—in public. We still haven’t quite fixed that mess with the Prophet. So, instead of a dinner at home, let’s dine out at a restaurant. My choice.”



Now “Ron” looked decidedly unhappy. “But I went to all the trouble to prepare a home-cooked meal, just for us,” he grumbled.



“Sorry, Snape. It’s too late to play the aggrieved housewife.” Now it was Harry’s turn to smirk when he saw the man’s fists clench with ill-concealed anger.



“Very well,” Snape ground out. “I accept your terms.”



“Don’t look so gloomy. We’ll have a grand time.”



“Where will your children be?”



“James, Albus and Lily will stay at home with Kreacher. If anything goes wrong, I’ll have him contact Molly.”



Severus looked vastly relieved. He had probably worried that Harry would want to bring his insufferable children along. “Where do you want me to meet you, Potter? I assume I’m not to show up at the Burrow or Grimmauld Place.”



“I’ll meet you at the house. Tonight at seven.” Harry glanced back at the building. “Did you want to come in and help me with the children?”



Snape sneered. Again, it was weird to see Ron’s face twisted in such unfamiliar expressions. “Not likely, Potter.”



Harry shrugged. “Suit yourself.” He marched back into the building—but only after seeing Snape Disapparate first. There were some people you just didn’t turn your back on.



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“She wore an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini…”



“Seriously, Snape. It doesn’t matter what you wear. You’ll still look like death warmed over.” Head number one loomed over his shoulder, staring at the assemblage of funereal garments that made up Severus’s evening wear.



“Don’t you have anything that won’t make you look like the inside of a dog’s arse, Snivellus?”



“Says the original hound himself,” Severus snapped as he perused the contents of his wardrobe.



“You know, I’m not actually Sirius Black, so that’s a stupid comment to make. Not one of your best comebacks, Snivellus!”



Ignoring them, Snape chucked off his towel and began to dress. The sight of his naked body provoked catcalls and comparisons from a candy cane bleached of color to a walking Inferius but he was determined to thrust them out of his mind for the evening.



Potter’s decision to dine out had merit, after all. He would be free from the jeers and taunts of these maniacal constructs for at least one evening. And he could drug Potter at some public venue just as easily as at home. In fact, a public setting would provide even better opportunity. All he had to do was wait for a moment’s distraction—say, the timely interruption by one of Potter’s many public fawners—and he would tip a flacon into the man’s wine or food.



Now if only he could get dressed in something suitable for a night out. Well, it wasn’t as though he needed to wear something seductive. Soon, Potter would believe him the most irresistible person in the room, no matter what he wore.



Bolstered with self-confidence, he chose an old but comfortable green long-sleeved shirt. He found a pair of silver cufflinks his mother had once given him as a present and fastened them. Satisfied, he pulled a black jacket embroidered with silver over the whole.



Severus perused himself in the standing full-length mirror. A glamour hid his scars and his hair had been washed and brushed until it shone. He didn’t resemble any figure of beauty but at least he was well dressed for a change and in Slytherin colors. It was all he needed to boost his confidence.



“Still going through with this plan, Snivellus? Mind you, I get your motivation. The only way anybody would sleep with you is if they were drugged…or unconscious.”



“You know, if you were going to use Polyjuice this morning, why didn’t you pretend to be Gilderoy Lockhart? That way Harry would have something attractive to look at for a change.” Head number one did a tumble and roll in front of him, obscuring his sight of the mirror.



“I’m too sexy for my shirt, too sexy to get hurt. That’s right, too sexy!”



Severus ground his teeth. Potter had better be on time for a change or he was going to hex these heads. He didn’t care if they came back tenfold. Anything, just to get a little peace and—



“Snape? Are you here?”



“Finally,” he muttered as he tugged the jacket shut and buttoned it.



He descended the stairs and halted.



Potter was standing there. He wore a dark green dinner jacket over a white shirt so blinding it was like a flare in the soft light. The jacket was perfectly fitted, molded to his body so that his form was perfectly outlined. Harry would never be a broadly muscled athlete like Viktor Krum. But he had filled out since his childhood and his clothes emphasized the handsome young man he’d become.



Abruptly, Severus remembered the all-too-brief sight he’d had of his bond mate, half naked and deliciously rumpled from interrupted sleep. Harry might not have been homosexual but Severus certainly was and the twitching in his trousers was a startling reminder of that fact.



Potter was staring at him too, green eyes gleaming behind the round lenses. The brilliance of them was undeniable—like Lily’s, only not. This was not some pathetic stand-in for her but a unique individual, exquisite in his own right.



“Snape? Wow. You look…good.”



“Eloquent as ever, Mr. Potter.” Severus regained his voice at the same time as his composure and descended the rest of the way. Deciding it couldn’t hurt to flatter Potter a little, he added, “Your appearance is more than adequate.”



Potter rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Shall we get going?”



“Where are we going?”



Potter grinned at him, a gleeful expression that made Snape tense. “It’s a surprise. Just wait and see.”





TBC