Windows of the Soul

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Author's Notes: This story ignores HBP and DH; it starts the beginning of the summer before Harry’s seventh year. Thank you to my beta Sometimeselkie for all her hard work. Sorry this one’s a long one, it had a mind of its own.

Chapter 20 – Arguments and Apologies


Elli reached up and Andromeda took her hand in hers. “Many years ago I had a cousin who was a few years younger than me. We were very close as we grew up until he started at Hogwarts. He was a Gryffindor and I was in Ravenclaw. We lost touch when I married Ted and later had Nymphadora, but I never forgot him. I found out about his marriage and the birth of his daughter after they had both happened, but was happy that he had found happiness at last, away from my aunt and uncle. So it was a great shock one evening to read in the Daily Prophet of his arrest for murder, and even a bigger one to have Professor Dumbledore come to the house and ask if we would care for my cousin’s child. Of course we agreed, and we have taken care of her like she was our own, but she always knew who her fathers were. We never tried to hide anything from her.”

She looked up at Remus with tears in her eyes and saw tears running down his face; Severus had pulled his husband into his arms and was holding him tight. Remus sat with an astonished look on his face as he listened to Andromeda’s story.

“We knew that you were her father, but we were placed under a wizard’s oath and could not speak of it to anyone who didn’t know. Elli we could talk to about both of you and we did, so she would know you both. We love her and have taken care of her as our own child; she grew up in a loving home and with a big sister. When Elli turned eleven her letter came, not only from Hogwarts, but also Durmstrang and Beauxbatons. We gave her the choice of which school to go to, she chose Durmstrang. Neither Ted and I wanted her to go so far away, but it was her choice and she seemed happy for the first few months and then she had her accident. She has always been headstrong and independent, and we found her not wanting to come home, but staying there and adapting to her situation.”

Remus leaned forward slightly. “You could have tried to tell me about my daughter. We have worked together the last few years, Andi. How did you keep this secret for so long?”

Severus could feel the anger roll off his husband and he held him a little tighter, trying to let him know that he was there giving him strength. He looked down at Harry and Draco and saw Harry being held by Draco, both boys with tear-streaked faces. Severus finally looked over at Ellorra, who sat holding her aunt’s hand in one hand and Tonks’ hand in the other. She was also resting her head on Andromeda’s lap.

Andromeda shook her head sadly. “I couldn’t tell you of her, Remus, until you had your memories returned. That was part of the wizard’s oath, and we didn’t really try to keep it secret, it just happened that way.”

Remus felt anger and jealousy sweep through his body, and turned his attention to Tonks, who sat close to her “sister” and mother. “And you, Tonks. I thought you were my friend. How could you not tell me about my daughter? You knew how important family was to me - how could you keep something so important quiet!” Remus was nearly shouting as he finished, but Tonks took it in with quiet determination.

“Remus, I was only nine when Elli came to us and I was so happy to have a little sister. It was only when I got older that I fully understood things. I also was put under a wizard’s oath and couldn’t say anything to anyone who didn’t know and that included you. There were so many times that I saw you sad or down and I wanted to shout it out, but I couldn’t.” Tonks spoke quietly, all the while stroking Elli’s back.

Remus could no longer hold himself back. The wolf needed to be let out. He pushed Severus back and snarled at Andromeda, “You could have found a way around it if you had really wanted, but no, you had always wanted more children and when you found that you couldn’t have any more, this must have been a godsend. A new baby. You didn’t care who its parents were, or that it was a Dark creature, just that you would have another child. You stole my child and you try to justify yourself by saying that it was looked after and you loved it, but it was hurt in your care...”

“And if you had been a fit parent, then we would never have been given her,” Andromeda spat back.

“And if your cousin had had more faith in me and Dumbledore had given me more time to cope then we would have still been a family, but...” Remus stopped suddenly as there was a whimper and Elli stood, tears coursing down her face, trying to stop the sobs wracking her body, but failing.

Elli looked at her Papa and her aunt. “That’s all I am to you, just a possession. Something to own. Something to argue over.” She turned and looked at Andromeda. “I have loved you all my life as my mother, my aunt and my friend. We were a family of sorts and when we lost Uncle Ted you swore that we always would be, but obviously you were wrong.”

She took a step back and stared at Remus. “I have also loved you all my life, but it has only been the past few months that I have truly loved you as my Papa. I thought maybe you could love me as I do you, but I now know how you feel.” She looked at who she had called family. “I’m sorry, this was meant to be a happy day and I spoilt it, but don’t worry. You won’t have to think about me for much longer.” With that, she turned and ran out of the room, the door slamming behind her.

Harry shot up and was following Elli out of the door, before it had closed. Draco stood and turned, facing the adults with a disgusted look on his face. “If you have lost her, then that is what you deserve and if she decides to forgive you and come back, then you’d better try for the rest of your lives to show her that she is loved and wanted.”

With a last sneer, Draco swept out of the room in search of his fiancé and his sister.


Heading up the stairs, he found Harry sitting with Elli on his lap sobbing near the second floor. Harry looked up at his fiancé, and Draco sat at Elli’s other side, putting his arms around the distraught girl.

The two boys held their sister whilst she cried and muttered things that they really could not understand, but it seemed that she needed to say them.
They heard a door below closing, then footsteps coming up the stairs, then a thump and a muttered curse. Harry smiled as he knew then that it was Tonks coming towards them. He felt Elli snicker too.

Tonks knelt on the step below the three teenagers, reaching out and rubbing Elli’s knee. “Orri, love. Mum and Remus are sorry about earlier and they would really like it if you could come down and just hear them out, please.”

Elli turned her head and looked at her “sister”. Still keeping a death grip on both Harry and Draco, she nodded. Tonks let out the breath she had been holding. She loved her mum and had a soft spot for Remus, but she couldn’t forgive them for what they had said earlier, and she would not let them hurt Elli anymore. She hadn’t seen Elli the last few months, not since her dad Ted’s death in January; he had been killed in a car accident in Muggle London. Tonks had had a few owls from her, though, telling her about everyday things. There weren’t many things Elli couldn’t tell Tonks, but Tonks felt that Elli was keeping something back.

Harry and Draco helped Elli up; slowly, the three teenagers followed Tonks back down to the family tree room. When they entered it the two boys noticed that the three adults in the room didn’t seem to have moved since they had left earlier. Severus was still behind Remus, who was still next to Andromeda. The only differences were the expressions on the adults. Remus and Andromeda had tears down them whilst Severus had his Potions master look on.


Harry guided Elli onto the sofa opposite the three adults, with Draco sitting on the other side of her to give her support. Tonks sat on the arm of the sofa next to Draco.

Remus knew that he had much to be forgiven for. He had let his own insecurities and jealousy to rule his emotions, and he had no excuse. There was no reason for Elli to forgive him, but he had to try to reach out to her. Since finding out and meeting her, he had come to love her so much that he could not think of his life now without her in it.

Remus stood and came over to the children. Harry was amazed when suddenly Remus dropped to his knees and took Elli’s hands into his, and there were tears in his eyes and his throat.

“I know that you have no reason to forgive me for what I have said today. I have no excuse for my behaviour, other than I let my jealousy rule my head and heart.”

Harry looked at his father. “Jealousy, Remus?”

Remus looked at Harry and nodded. “Yes, jealousy. I was jealous of the time that Andromeda had with Elli. Time that I hadn’t had. I didn’t think about what would have happened to Elli without the love of the Tonks family. I also thought that maybe Elli would love them more than me.”

Elli looked startled at that. “No, Papa. I don’t. I don’t love them more; I love them differently than you. They could never take your place in my heart just as you couldn’t take theirs.” With that, she launched herself at her Papa, who caught her and held her close, all the while whispering how sorry he was and how much he loved her. They stayed like that for a few moments, until Remus held his hand out and pulled Andromeda into the embrace too.

Harry moved over to Draco and smiled at the scene in front of him. Maybe his family will be okay for a while.

Severus cleared his throat. “If you emotional women have finished, then maybe we could go in and see if dinner is ready to be served.” Standing up he stalked out of the room.

Elli squealed with fury at her Tatko’s words, whilst Remus smiled at his snarky husband, helping Andromeda up as Harry and Draco helped Elli. Remus looked at his daughter and her aunt. He knew that it couldn’t all be fixed with just an apology, but he knew that they would work on it. Together, as a family.

Taking his daughter’s hand in one of his and Andromeda’s in the other, he followed his husband in search of Christmas dinner, Tonks following. Harry stopped Draco, shutting the door before they could go through it. Draco looked questionably at Harry, at which the latter smirked and pushed Draco against the wall and proceeded to kiss the daylights out of him, not that Draco was arguing.

Ron opened the door to tell the two boys to hurry up, saw them and quickly shut the door. Returning to the kitchen, he told his mother that they would come down in a few minutes; they had something to finish.

Albus’ eyes twinkled more than ever; Severus shared a smirk with Remus, whilst most everyone else just smiled. Molly said that they would keep some food for the two boys later.