Ashes of Armageddon

Deliberation



They did not remain in Azkaban very long. Harry made some arrangements for Draco's continuing stay in Azkaban, and even requested a set of new clothing for him. Severus kept his face absolutely expressionless, but could not suppress an inward smile – apparently his offer was not entirely worthless, at least for the time being.



They returned to Godric's Hollow shortly afterwards. Harry's slightly smug smirk made him look like a cat who had just caught a particularly large mouse.



Moving a soft, almost feline manner, Harry grabbed one of the simple chairs, moved it away from the dining table and transfigured it into a large arm-chair, settling in it comfortably. Dark green eyes scrutinized Severus thoughtfully, as if seeing him for the first time.



“I must say, I am surprised,” Harry mused. “To see that you are actually capable of having feelings for someone other than yourself, without some sort of magic forcing you into it.”



Severus stared at him blankly, unsure if he was meant to supply an answer.



“Of course, I suspect that you simply needed an excuse. It's easier to comply with something undignified, if you convince yourself that you are doing it for someone, rather than just out of pure cowardice. Helps you save face, somewhat, at least in your own mind.”



Severus glared at him defiantly. “Is that what you really believe?” He challenged with cold fury in his voice.



Harry's eyes narrowed dangerously. “I do not recall giving you permission to speak, especially without addressing me properly.”



Severus forced his mouth shut and stood absolutely still, while Harry's eyes examined him head to toe.



“Step forward,” Harry ordered. “Come closer.”



Severus took one step forward, remaining just beyond Harry's reach.



“Closer,” Harry said, smirking. “Place your hands behind your head, lock your fingers.”



He did, again, and Harry's hands rested on his hips. Severus bit into his lower lip to keep his mouth shut, while Harry lifted his robe, and placed his hands on his buttocks, squeezing them through the fabric of the trousers.



“Tell me, Severus,” Harry asked casually, “Are you a virgin?”



Severus froze at the question. Harry's fingers dug into him painfully.



“No, Master,” he replied as indifferently as he could manage.



Harry chuckled light-heartedly. “Let me rephrase that. Have you ever been penetrated?”



He would have lied, just to spite him, but he knew that there were medical Revelio spells that could easily catch him in the lie. Heat rushing to his face, he nonetheless said without any expression:



“No, Master.”



“Hmm,” Harry murmured. “Odd. Years spent as Lucius' lapdog, and he never took the time to bugger you? I guess I can't blame him. You are rather ugly, and he seems like a man who cares about aesthetics.”



For a few seconds, Severus permitted himself to hope that his lack of physical attractiveness might actually turn out to be his salvation in the matter, but the insistent probing of Harry's fingers quickly banished that hope.



“Well,” Harry mused. “Tell me, in your years as a Death Eater, have you ever seen an innocent person be raped?”



Horrifying memories flooding him, Severus nearly stumbled, but caught himself just in time. Over the years, he had worked hard to keep those images at bay, never permitting them to resurface. Apparently, this was about to end.



“Yes, Master, I have,” Severus said expressionlessly.



“Did you do anything to help them?” Harry asked. “Or did you just stand by and watch, just a good little Death Eater?”



The lump in his throat was greater than he had ever remembered it, constricting his breathing. He felt his hands beginning to shake.



The memories of darkness flooded him, screams of victims echoing faintly in his mind. He recalled Albus comforting him awkwardly, telling him that he had done well, telling him that he had done only what he had to do, in order to keep his cover, and continue spying. He could not have made a difference for the victims even if he had tried – all he would have achieved was getting himself killed. Still, knowing that, somehow almost made it worse.



“I stood by and watched, Master,” he said.



Harry nodded, apparently not surprised at all.



“And was that before, or after you supposedly switched sides, and came to work for the side of Light?”



“Both, Master,” Severus answered.



“And have you ever been a part to raping anyone?” Harry demanded instantly.



Again, Severus realized he wanted to lie, but Harry's eyes were fixed on him, and Severus saw the darkness dancing in them, as if challenging him to utter a lie and be caught in it. The darkness was terrifyingly and deeply familiar, and Severus realized, that darkness knew him, knew him all too well.



“Yes, Master,” Severus said numbly.



Harry was looking at him smiling, clearly amused. “Help me understand this, Severus. While you were supposedly fighting on the side of Light, you were participating in raping innocent Muggles, presumably to keep your cover as a spy. Is this accurate?”



“Yes, Master.”



Harry nodded thoughtfully. “Were your victims male or female?”



“Female,” Severus said bitterly.



“Were they scared? Did they plead with you? Did they beg you for mercy? ”



“Yes, Master,” he said painfully. “She did.”



Harry chuckled quietly. “Did you show her any?”



Severus shut his eyes, as the dreadful memory emerged fully... the memory of a young girl, whose parents had displeased the Dark Lord. She had suffered for weeks, her body had been brutalized beyond imagination, and she had no voice left. Still, she mouthing wordlessly to him, “help me,” while he was standing over her, expected to take her. In a moment of desperation, he had cast a wordless spell to stop her heart.



“I asked you a question,” Harry spat furiously. “Did you show her mercy?”



Mercy?



“No, Master,” Severus said tiredly. “I did not.”



“Well then,” Harry mused, his hands trailing along the belt of his trousers, and finally pressing against the small of his back. “Turnabout is fair play, wouldn't you agree?”



He winced a little, but then nodded. “I suppose so, Master.”



Harry withdrew his hands abruptly.



“Someday,” Harry murmured. “Soon. But not just yet. Kneel.”



He knelt instantly, with his back straight, staring directly ahead.



Harry placed his hand on his hair, stroking it soothingly.



“I know what you want,” Harry said calmly. “You see, as much as I despise you, I also know you. I recognize that hungry look in your eyes. You want a Master who will tell you that you are oh-so-brave, who will convince you of your own worth, who will pity you and comfort you.” Severus did not manage to suppress a slight sigh when Harry's fingers parted his locks, fingertips caressing his scalp. “You want a Master who will forgive you and absolve you of anything and everything you had ever done wrong. Isn't that right?”



Severus shut his eyes, and couldn't bring himself to answer; not without breaking down in front of his owner.



He gasped slightly when Harry's hand grasped his hair firmly, tilting his head backwards. Swiftly, Harry leaned in to kiss him, young, forceful tongue parting his lips, and claiming the depths of his mouth. Severus had quite a few kisses in his past, but none that he could remember had been as terrifying, and as intimate. It was the intimacy of the predator and prey, the all-powerful tormentor and his victim, and more, so much more. Darkness and emptiness were pouring into him through the exquisite, unimaginable pleasure of the kiss, coiling around him and consuming him. With utter despair, and with his last rational thought cursing the slave-bond, Severus nonetheless found himself drowning in that kiss, until Harry ended it abruptly.



“That's just too bad,” Harry said evenly, with just a touch of cold amusement in his voice. “This Master will do no such thing. You will pay. Over and over again. Until there's barely anything left of you. And even then, it will not be over.”



Harry's voice jolting him back to the harsh realty of his destiny. His past finally caught up with him; and deep, dark abyss opened up in front of him, inviting him to take a plunge and surrender himself to his legacy. Severus opened his eyes and returned his owner's gaze serenely.



Smiling, his eyes locked with the eyes of his owner, Severus said calmly:



“I know.”



... To Be Continued...