Situational Ethics

YES, I KNOW THERE ARE FUNNY SYMBOLS ALL OVER THE PLACE. IF YOU WISH TO PROCEED ANYWAYS, DO SO AND HAVE FUN TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT SYMBOL MEANS WHAT. IN THE MEAN TIME, THE SYSTEM TECHS WILL BE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY ACCOUNT.

Posted on August 3, 2008

Chapter 21:

gI Am Worthy of Loveh

Soft, baby whimpers came from the transfigured crib beside Harryfs bed. Sleep would not come to Harry, not while his new born baby was there, intuitively demanding his attention. Harry raised himself then whimpered. Besides feeling awfully fatigue, sharp pains from his delivery continued to linger, but it was nothing he couldnft handle.

For a second and more successful time, Harry managed to raise himself so that he may peer over into the crib. The anxious and mystified look he had softened and he couldnft suppress his large, goofy smile. Finally, after all these months of pain and fear, of strange appetite and stretch marks came the final result and it wasc in its own way, beautiful.

Harry reached out and scooped the baby into his arms then laid back against the bed. He made sure to support its head and handle it with delicate care. The baby opened and closed its deep, dark eyes but didnft seem to try and concentrate on anything. Harry could only imagine that the world looked so different from a newbornfs perspective, and just maybe, Harry wasnft as interesting as the shiny bottle on the table beside them. Either way, the baby didnft smile, or frown. It just stared at the bottle, then at something else. Then finally it tried wiggling itself around.

Excitement finally took a hold of Harry. He almost forgot to breath, to think, to acknowledge his tears of love and joy. He knew he was the father. Something inside him forced him to accept it, and at the same time, something inside him told him this was his little baby. Harry was so overwhelmed that he didnft know what to do first. Or what he should do first as a new father. After brooding for maybe a good minute, Harry quickly decided on seeing whether the baby was a boy or girl.

He would be happy wither either, of course.

Harry set the new born on his lap then undid the clothes that enswathed it. And behold, he had a boy. A most precious, scrawny little boy.

gWhy are you so skinny?h

The baby lifted his head a little and peered down at his feet. gI guess you didnft know you had them.h The baby didnft bother responding to Harryfs voice. At that moment, seeing his feet move around made the baby smile. He then kicked and kicked before clapping his hands and laughing. Harry smiled and watched with much amusement. Soon after, the baby playfully grabbed his own little toes and quickly pulled away. Once the baby began smiling, Harry though, It mustfve tickled. Harry smiled, then used his two fingers to gently grab the babyfs toes. The baby laughed and then began to blow bubbles through its little mouth. Harry laughed too, then leaned forwards and nuzzled his sonfs little tummy. The baby laughed harder, then grabbed Harryfs hair and tried to pull it in order to get Harry to stop.

Harry did and then he blew on it. The baby seemed to like both the tickly feelings and the farting noise it made. gI wonder if you are hungry.h

The baby only reached for his father and finally, Harry decided it was time to feed his son. gYou were such a food sucker when you were a fetus. Itfs amazing that you arenft fat. In fact, youfre rather the opposite.h After he held it in his hands, Harry noted that the bottle was still warm and smelledc like powdered milk. Aside from that, another object caught Harryfs attention. It was his sonf birth certificate, containing the date of his birth, August 16, and the time he was born, midnight. It also included „Ÿ much to Harryfs horror „Ÿ both his name and Snapefs. However, this document was to be locked away for records and never discussed publicly. Professionals handling the records were by law, forbidden to share any documents unless it was called for. On the top, however, was a blank line, and a quill hovered over it, waiting to inscribe the newbornfs legal name.

Looking away impassively, Harry decided he would name his child after he was fed. Harry held his baby upright then pressed the bottle against the babyfs mouth. Quickly, the baby seized the bottle and began to drink intuitively.

Occasionally, Harry would take the bottle away, make sure his baby was still breathing, then give him some more.

Eventually, the bottle ran out and Harry lifted the baby over his shoulders to give it a light pat on the back.

His baby burped and Harry awed.

Bringing the baby back onto his lap, Harry wiped the little trail of milk away then chuckled when he saw that his scrawny little thing had a rather full tummy. gYoufre precious.h

Since his son was full, Harry took the time to inspect his baby. His legs were scrawny, his arms were thin, truth be told, his whole frame in general was sickly thin. But his head was oddly big and round and his eyes looked like they couldfve been Dobbyfs. And then, there was the babyfs nose. It was already taking shape. It wasnft straight, flat, or small. It was slightly bent towards the end, and it wouldfve been the prominent feature if it hadnft been for those huge, dark eyes. The child was an odd ball, but he was still worthy of love. gErasmus.h Harry said softly. gHow will I explain you to my family? How will I explain you to the world?h

Beside him, the quill quickly inscribed the name and added without Harryfs word, Potter-Snape as the childfs sir name. Before Harry could say another word, a copy had been sent to the Ministry, and Harry sat there, feeling slightly unnerved, but there was no way Snape could find outc right?

Such things didnft matter now. Harry wished only to be with his precious infant son. He laid his baby on his back and suddenly, the baby took his thumb in his mouth. gOh no. A thumb sucker.h Harry sighed softly. For now, it was alright, but later on, it would pose a problem.

But that was much later on.

Harry was gleaming with joy. He was a new father. And Erasmus was his son.

Then, Harry heard a soft knock at the door. He raised his head then looked towards the door. Kreacher opened it and stepped through. gMaster, may Kreacher come in? Kreacher has a present for young Master.h

Kreacher watched carefully as Harryfs raised head nodded gracefully. He looked tired, but his posture never faltered; it remained strong and posed like a guardian. Or, much like a prideful lion protecting his cub. Kreacher, you helped me during labour, you cleaned up my child, and me. How could I ever repay you? Harry thought to himself as Kreacher closed the door behind him.

The elf walked into the room and placed this box beside Harryfs bed. He then lifted the lid and this holographic witched raised herself and began dancing in rhythm with the sweet song, Greensleeves. Harry first replayed the words in his head, and then gasped at Kreacherfs insinuation. There was no way Kreacher could have known about his affair with Snapec. Or maybe he gave me this because I did not marry Erasf father. Harry turned his face away from Kreacher, whether out of fear or shame, Harry did not know. Nevertheless, he thanked the elf. gThere is more, Master. Here, Kreacher made these for young Master.h The elf passed on two tiny mitts to Harry.

gWhat are these for?h

gFor young Masterfs hands. Baby skin is soft and baby nails grow fast. Put the mitts on young Masterfs hands.h

gThank you.h Harry said softly while in his arms, Erasmus yawned and slowly began to close his eyes. The new father was no fool. He knew how babies were when it came to naps. And if he was smart, he would take advantage of it and nap along with the baby.

Sleepily, Harry pulled a blanket over himself and Erasmus then once beneath it, he pulled his son close to him. The music box was so soothing and comforting. It only took seconds before the Erasmus and his father fell into a deep sleep.

Seeing that his two masters requested sleep, Kreacher stepped back until he reached the door. He then took one final glance at the two before he closed it softly.

HARRYPOTTERHARRYPOTTERHARRYPOTTER

Kreacher sat back and watched with attentive eyes as Harry cradled Erasmus in his arms and hummed softly while he swayed. Harry moved around the room slowly, gradually circling, but constantly swaying his upper body. Erasmus seemed to like that. He would close his eyes and not open them while daddy danced with him in his arm. gKreacher, is the milk ready?h

gAlmost, Master. Just a bit longer.h Kreacher then stood up and said, gMaster, make sure to always hold young Masterfs head. Young Master is very delicate.h With that said, Kreacher vanished and Harry sighed.

Of course Harry knew he needed to support his son. Harry stopped swaying and admired his sleeping son for the third time that night. His son was about two days old, and since then, Harry had actually done some recovering since his pregnancy. He couldnft say his sleeping periods have been long or joyful, but at least his feet and sides werenft as swollen.

The stretch marks, however, were there and refused to go away. There was also some fat hanging around Harryfs waist, but what could he do? He just had a baby.

Then, the baby began to twitch. Erasmus opened his eyes and looked at Harry as if saying, eI never said you could stop.f

Chuckling softly, Harry began to sway again and the baby closed his still very dark eyes. gI wonder if you have his eyesc.h Harry brought the baby against his face and kissed Erasmusf forehead softly.

gPlease, Master, be careful! Kreacher wonft let Master drop young Master!h

Harry sighed as he placed the baby in the crib and reached for the bottle.

gIs it warm?h

gKreacher made sure the bottle was nice and warm for young Master.h

gThank you.h Harry fed his baby for the second time that night, and was surprised at how eagerly the baby drank his milk. Everything seemed just perfect, and then came this foul odour. It filled Harryfs nose and caused Kreacher to back away. gOh no.h

Kreacher changed the babyfs nappy the first time because Harry was asleep, so Harry really had no experience with this sort of thing, but Kreacher had suddenly vanished and Harry knew he was on his own. gYou are a smelly thing, arenft you? Yes you are,h using that adoring voice wasnft so bad. In fact, Harry kind of liked it. It made him feel more motherly.

Harry burped his son one more time before he set him on the table on the far side of his room. The baby just sprawled out and didnft even bothering acknowledging Harry as he removed his nappy and then winced. Harry wasnft sure if he should back away, inhale fresh air then return, or just suck it up and deal with his little stink bomb. gThe quicker we get this over with, the better.h

Using just his index and thumb, Harry pulled the nappy from the baby and dropped it in the trash. Who knew a two day old baby could produce such foulness. It reeked of old milk and Harry found himself trying to fan away the scent with his free hand.

Harry pulled out a new nappy then looked at his sonfs most unclean butt. He stared for a few seconds, wondering how he was going to clean it, and then finally reached for his wand. gWhy didnft I think of this before?h Needless to say, Harry felt like slapping himself.

With one quick flick, the mess on the babyfs bottom was gone. No more dirty work, and with another wave, the nappy fastened itself onto Erasmus. Harry gave one approving nod as Erasmus looked down, wondering what happened to his mess.

Two seconds later, and the baby began to smile before he was not only fully, but clean. And Harry smiled too, because it didnft smell anymore. gNow, letfs get you to sleep.h

Harry began to hum and sway again and luckily for him, it only took about five minutes before the baby was sleeping peacefully in his arms. gVery good, Master. Now Kreacher can go to sleep.h

Harry rolled his eyes. gI can go to sleep.h

Harry settled the baby into his crib then tucked him in before collapsing on his bed. gYes! I am so tired.h Harry had barely hit the pillows before he was out cold.

There was nothing like getting at least a few minutes of sleep after being deprived for long hours.

SEVERUSSNAPESEVERUSSNAPESEVERUSSNAPE

The week passed by quickly and Harry was in denial about how little sleep he could manage. He was lucky if he got three hours straight of sleep. Little Erasmus demanded more attention than Harry thought, and each day, it seemed to get worse. The more Harry attended to Erasmus, the more attention the scrawny little thing wanted. And if Harry dared to ignore the baby for more than a minute, Erasmus would scream and cry and scream until Harry thought he was going to blow out his voice box. Who knew babies could be such needy little devils?

However, Harryfs annoyance was quickly forgotten as soon as his son came into view. It wasnft until Erasmus could see his father that he finally stopped crying and smiled. It was more like a eyay, I woke you up.f

gKreacher,h Harry asked one morning while pouring himself a cup of double shot espresso, gWhat if you just ignored the baby?h

Kreacher stared at Harry as if he was going to offer him an article of clothing. gNo, Master! Young Master much be attended to! Young Master needs Master!h

gIt was just a question. I would never ignore my son.h

Then just as soon as Harry lifted his cup, he heard crying again. gI swear he was just asleep. I just rocked him.h

gYoung Master needs his father.h

Harry put down the cup and hurried to the drawing room. Little Erasmus was screaming and screaming and flailing his arms about like a mad baby. Then finally, Harry noticed that Erasmus had managed to throw his pillow over. gSilly Eras.h Harry picked up the pillow then handed it to Erasmus. Erasmus, however, had another idea and instead of latching onto the pillow, latched onto Harry. He wanted to be with his father. Eras wanted the warm and welcoming body.

Harry couldnft resist. He picked up his son and carried him in his arms to the kitchen. gHow is young Master?h

gJust as lively as ever. Why?h

gWhy was young Master crying? Young Master cries like dying cat.h

Harry ignored Kreacherfs comment. gHe threw his pillow over and now he wants attention.h

Erasmus hung in Harryfs arm against his side while Harry gathered some sugar for his espresso. Kreacher continued to stare at it and finally looked away when Erasmus began making spit bubbles.

gI need to learn more household spells.h

gAnd young Master needs to learn manners.h

gHe will, Kreacher. But hefs just a baby right now. Itfll be another two years before he becomes civilized and even then, the toddler stage will kick in.h

gOh no!h Kreacher backed away. Harry figured that Kreacher mustfve helped raise toddler before judging from his reaction. Then he thought about Sirius as a toddler and grimaced. That mustfve been an unforgettable, traumatic experience for Kreacher.

gMaster! Do you hear that?h

gHear what?h Harry asked while he thought about all the horrible things Sirius mustfve done to Kreacher. Then he thought about Bellatrix and made a face like he was in pain.

gMaster, someone knocks. Someone knocks on the door.h

gWhat?h Harry remained very still then listened. Sure enough, there was someone knocking. gOh my god.h Harry knelt before Kreacher and handed him Erasmus. gTake him to my room and put a silent charm around his crib. No one can hear him. Do you understand?h

gYes, Master. Kreacher understands perfectly. No bloody bugger will bother young Master.h

Harry left the kitchen with his wand and hand and went across the hall to the door. He peaked out and then didnft know whether to let out a sigh of relief or run and hide. Harry opened the door while thinking, whatfs the worst that can happen?

gHello, Harry.h Dumbledore only took a second glance at Harry before looking down so that he wouldnft trip, but as soon as he looked up, Dumbledorefs sparkles werenft there any longer. gHarryc you look awful.h

Yeah. You try living with a newborn.

gWhat are you doing here?h

gWhat am Ic? Harry, Ifm here to check up on you. Remus and Sirius are going to be back soon and they want to make sure you are alright. Theyfve been worrying too much about you. I think theyfll come back with bags under their eyes as well.h

Dumbledore moved through the halls and into the drawing room. gItfs rather pleasant in here, Harry. Youfve kept the house up. Very nice.h

gWell, itfs just Kreacher and me. Itfs not like we can make much of a mess anyways.h Harry paused noticing that Dumbledore was still staring at him. gWhat?h

gYou have such horrific bags around your eyes, Harry. Havenft you gotten any sleep?h

Now was the perfect time to pull a lie out of his arse. gIfve been up late, worrying about Sirius and Remus. And my training too. Being the Golden Boy has put a lot of stress on me and Ifm scared about not meeting everyonefs expectation of me.h

gHarry, you should not worry about what everyone else things. Worry about yourself. You will do fine. Therefs no sense in keeping yourself up. Look at what itfs done to you already. I donft even have such baggy eyes.h

Thanks.

gWell, besides helping to settle your beloved werewolffs and godfatherfs anxiety, I also came to tell you that we will begin your training mid September. I would start sooner, but the place in which you will be trained has a few loose nails and unstable walls. Magic can only get you so far. We have to hire a team to fix it up before it is safe to come anywhere near the place.h

A whole extra half month to rest. Whoopee.

gNow, I must leave you. I have a meeting at the Ministry and I cannot be late.h

gWhatever for?h

gDonft worry about it. Itfs none of your concern.h

Whatever got Dumbledore out of the house sooner was utterly fantastic with Harry.

gI shall see you soon, Harry. If you need anything, donft hesitate about fire calling either me, or any other member of the Order.h There was his suspicious pause and then, gBut do not fire call Professor Snape. He is away and will not be back for a few days.h

Harry felt something inside him swell up. gWhat happened?h

gVoldemort has a mission for Professor Snape and he cannot return until it has been complete.h

With that said, Dumbledore turned and vanished before Harry could continue his investigation.

HARRYPOTTERHARRYPOTTERHARRYPOTTER

Oh god, how could he tell them? The end of the month was quickly approaching and Harry hadnft bothered to prepare himself for his godfather and Remus. What would they ask? How would they look at Harry and his baby? They wouldnftc get rid of the child, right? gI know I am going to war, but that doesnft give them the right to send my child away.h

From the sideline, Erasmus watched with his puffy cheeks and half lidded eyes.

gMy god, what if they ask who his father is?h

Kreacher brought the milk to little Erasmus and pressed the nipple into the babyfs mouth. gMaster worries too much. They love Master and they will love young Master. Even if young Master is funny looking.h

gKreacher, you are not helping.h

gKreacher is feeding young Master. Kreacher helps Master a lot.h

gGood. Then put him to bed, will you? I have to draft something and I donft want to be disturbed unless it is important.h

Harry left the room and closed the door.

Another hectic week passed and Harry began to wonder exactly when Remus and Sirius were coming. At this point, it could be any day and Harry still didnft have his thoughts together. And then the baby was crying again.

Harry hated it when his child cried. Erasmus always sounded like he was being slaughtered, and his cries pierced right into Harryfs ears. There was no escaping them.

Sighing, Harry returned to his bedroom and cradled his son. He hoped that crooning a familiar tune would help put his child at ease, but then an old milk stench reached his nose and Harry knew it was time to change his sonfs nappy.

gBlimey! You donft even eat that much so why do you poo so much?h

Erasmus just laid there trying to get some sleep while Harry changed his nappy for the third time that day. These were the times when Harry wished he could fire call Snape and demand that he help him raise their son.

Harry then placed his baby back in his crib and for a moment, just watched his son squirm around until he found a comfortable spot. He then sprawled out and closed his eyes. Harry couldnft resist the urge to join his son. He backed up until the back of his knees came in contact with the bed, then he fell over and drifted to sleep. gSweet, sweet Erasmus.h

But it was horrible timing. Now that he was asleep, Harry couldnft hear the door opening downstairs, or the soft, whispering voices.

A/N: Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed the longer chapter.

Your comments and concerns make a difference. I do read carefully and take what you type into consideration. If there is a problem, I try to change it for the better. If there is something I left out, I try to include it if I can.