'The Wedding'

A/N: Okay everyone here's the twenty first chapter. There will be three chapters after this including the epilogue. I had a lot of fun writing it and I hope you will have a lot of fun reading it. I'm sorry it took so long but I'm finding it hard to let this story go the closer it gets to the end. In the back of my mind I keep telling myself if I take time uploading chapters it'll go on forever. Which of course is a load of crap but I already have the last chapter and epilogue written which I think is the reason I'm dragging out the uploading process. I don't want it to end and I only have one more chapter to physically write!

Anyway enjoy!

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‘Okay Ladies and Gents you might think that because I’m going on holidays for four weeks I’m not going to give you any homework and you can slack off but you’re wrong’ Harry said six days later to his group of Slytherin and Gryffindor seventh years ‘Today’s homework is as follows: I want you to select a dark creature from the text in the library or Dark Creatures of Great Britain and Ireland and do a project on it. I want at least four feet of parchment...’

The students groaned loudly and Harry laughed.

‘But it doesn’t all have to be writing’ He continued ‘It can contain drawn pictures, photography diagrams and potions recipes. I have spoken with Professor Slughorn and he is willing to allow you to tie this project in with your current work on Polyjuice Potion and it’s uses in fighting the Dark Arts so if done well you can get credits in Potions and Defence Against The Dark Arts. Killing two birds with one stone as it were’

‘Sir how long do we have to complete this project?’ A Slytherin girl asked raising her hand.

‘Ah that’s the good part’ Harry said ‘Til I come back I’ll want it back the Wednesday of my first week back. There’s plenty of time to complete this project during which time your homework load will be less. You are to hand in your project once a week to Professor McGonagall for feedback and so she can see how you’re going’

‘That sounds alright then’ The girl said ‘Plenty of time to do it, I thought you were only going to give us a week’

The bell rang shrilly signalling the end of the day’s lessons.

‘Okay that’s it for the day go and relax I’m off to get married’ Harry said with a grin ‘Behave yourselves when I’m away’

‘Sir you misbehave while you’re away’ Michael said with a grin.

‘Cheeky bugger’

All of a sudden Michael and Louise flicked their wands and both conjured up two enormous bouquets of white roses and yellow Honking Daffodils they then left their desk and walked up to Harry presenting them to him.

‘This is from everyone in Seventh year particularly the Gryffindors’ Louise said ‘It’s a sort of congratulations before you and Ginny get married on Sunday’

‘Thanks very much’ Harry said accepting the bouquets as one of the daffodils gave a particularly loud honk.

‘The honking daffodils were the Hornby Twins idea’ Michael said dryly ‘Nosy buggers eavesdropped on Louise and I and suggested we add them. Professor Longbottom helped us get the honking daffodils and he said they can be propagated and replanted’

‘Thank you very much’ Harry said ‘It’s very much appreciated. Ginny does have a particular fondness for honking daffodils’

‘So Professor Longbottom told us’ Louise said.

‘Might have to enlarge a vase or two these won’t fit in the vases I have at home’ Harry said placing the bouquets on his desk ‘It is very thoughtful of you’

‘Well Sir you’ve done so much for us even though the term is only a few weeks old we wanted to do something for you’ Louise said ‘There’s a card somewhere in there that all the seventh years from all the houses have signed. I shrunk it so you’ll have to enlarge it when you get home’

Harry looked inside one of the bouquets and there was a regular sized envelope nestled amongst the stems.

‘I’ll be sure to have a read of it when I get home’ He said ‘Now go on off with ya all...get started on that project’

The students took their time leaving the classroom each wishing Harry well as they left. Eventually it was deserted and Harry returned to his quarters where he began packing up his trunk. Neville arrived via floo half an hour later just as Harry levitated his trunk to the hearth.

‘All ready to go?’ He said brightly.

Harry wrinkled his nose.

‘Neville you still smell like dragon shit’ He said.

‘I know I’m sorry about that’ Neville said waving his wand over himself casting a Freshening Charm ‘But I don’t want to be late ‘Do you mind if I shower back at the Manor? I’ve already sent my things there’

‘Yeah go ahead’ Harry said ‘Have you seen Draco since classes ended?’

‘Yeah he’s coming along later he said he’d meet us at the Ministry at half past five. Apparently he has business to attend to at Malfoy Manor that will take a while’

‘Fair enough. Do you want to floo to the Manor first?’

‘Sure want me to take your trunk with me?’

‘If you could that would be great’

‘See you there’

Neville shrank Harry’s trunk to the size of a large box and tucked it under one arm. With his free hand he threw down a handful of floo powder and disappeared in a rush of green flame.

Harry did a quick search of his quarters to make sure he hadn’t left any belongings behind then locked all the doors. He turned off all the lights then stepped into the grate his satchel and handful of floo powder. He threw it down and said….

‘The Manor!’

Fierce green flames erupted around him and instantly he disappeared from Hogwarts arriving back at the Manor to see an already raucous party in progression. Deafening music was playing from a charmed radio on the sideboard and Ron, Dean, Seamus. Bill, Charlie, George, Percy and Mr Weasley were already shooting measures of Vodka and Firewhiskey. Ron spied Harry’s arrival and pulled him from the fireplace.

‘Harry you’re heeeeeeeeere!’ He said enthusiastically already in a state of inebriation.

‘You’re pissed already?’ Harry said by way or greeting ‘When did you start? It’s only four o’clock, George did you spike the punch?’

‘Harry! How could you?’ George exclaimed pretending to be hurt ‘How could you think such things of one of your best friends? I’m appalled’

‘You’re full of shit’ Harry said dryly ‘Oh well this is a time of celebration where’s the booze?’

‘That’s the spirit Harry!’ Seamus exclaimed pouring vodka into a pint glass and pushing it into his hand….

‘CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG!’ Ron, Dean, Seamus, Bill, Charlie, George, Percy and Mr Weasley chanted.

Harry grinned and chugged the vodka down wincing and making a face as it burnt the back of his throat.

‘That’s disgusting!’ He bellowed slamming the glass down on the dining table.

‘It’s the start if great things Harry great things’ Charlie said with a grin elbowing Harry in the side ‘Now go and change. You’re not going on your stag night in a three piece suit that’s Percy’s thing not yours’

‘Oy!’ Percy exclaimed.

‘Technically you don’t need clothes at all!’ Bill said with a cheesy grin.

‘If any of you dare strip me and tie me to a bus stop with a fig leaf over my cock I will hex you all into the second hereafter’ Harry said half heartedly ‘People know who I am you know it’d give Rita Skeeter a years worth of fodder if I was found hexed to a building in the altogether’

‘Damn that woman Harry just go with the flow tonight!’ Dean exclaimed slinging an arm over Harry’s shoulders ‘These are your last days as a bachelor we as your nearest and dearest friends are obligated to show you a good time’

‘You lot really worry me’ Harry said with a laugh ‘But a stag night is only once in a blokes life so I suppose I can deal with whatever you lot throw at me’

‘That’s the attitude Harry!’ Ron exclaimed re-filling Harry’s glass with Firewhiskey ‘Have another drink’

‘When I’ve changed’ Harry said ‘I don’t want to be so pissed I can’t soap my crack’

Harry turned to leave the kitchen but suddenly felt the sting in his bum and the scraping sensation of a Scouring Charm.

‘AHHHH FUCK!’ He bellowed dropping his satchel and clutching his behind ‘Who the HELL did that?’

A great snorting laugh indicated it was Seamus.

‘Fuck you Finnigan I’ll get you back for that’ Harry said dryly ‘I don’t think a Scouring Charm that harsh was necessary’

‘Diddy dums’ Seamus teased flicking his bottom lip ‘Hurry up so we can get down to the business of getting you right and proper pissed’

‘Aye aye cap’tn’

Harry went upstairs and took his time showering, changing and packing for his trip away. He returned downstairs to find that Neville had too showered and changed and Oliver, Larry and Gordon had arrived.

‘Evening gents to what I’m sure is going to be two days straight of drink and debauchery’ Harry said brightly.

‘I propose a toast!’ Ron announced holding his tumbler of Firewhiskey aloft.

Everyone raised their glasses to Harry.

‘To Harry may he enjoy the last days of bachelorhood to the full without doing anything illegal, immoral or anything that will cause Mum to send him a howler or Gin to hex his nuts off!’

‘TO HARRY!’

Harry chugged down his glass of Firewhiskey and once again winced as it scalded a path to his stomach.

‘Harry I brought a cauldron full of Hangover Draught here for our trip because Ronniekins assures us our livers particularly yours is going to get a good work out over the next forty eight hours’ George said with a grin ‘There’s enough to last us the whole two days’

‘Just how much do you plan on getting me to drink?’ Harry said to Ron putting his hands on his hips and scowling in mock anger.

‘Oh I’d say the equivalent of Rosmerta and Tom’s stocks twice over’ Ron said offhandedly ‘But to make it less torturous Dean went out and bought a drinking games book in muggle London’

‘Oh that makes me fell all the much better’ Harry said dryly ‘Oy Finnigan’

‘Oy what Potter?’ Seamus returned.

‘When am I going to get to taste this cocktail you’ve created for me?’

‘When we get to where we’re going’ Seamus said with a grin.

‘Oh that tells me a lot’ Harry said rolling his eyes ‘And where are we going?’

‘If we told you that we’d have to kill you Harry’ Ron said with a tipsy grin ‘Don’t worry we’re not going to kill you’

‘That doesn’t entirely reassure me’

‘Who gave you these?’ Oliver asked pointing to the two huge flower bouquets that Harry had brought home from Hogwarts.

‘All my seventh years’ Harry said going to a nearby cupboard and retrieving two ornate crystal vases ‘The Head Boy and Girl gave them to me during he last lesson on behalf of all the seventh years from all four houses. I think it’s rather nice’

‘Honking daffodils?’ Seamus said with a raised eyebrow as Harry enlarged the vases with a poke from his wand.

‘Yeah Neville told the Head Boy and Girl Gin liked them' Harry said filling the two vases with water ‘There’s a shrunken card in there that apparently every student in the seventh year has signed’

Seamus went rummaging in the bouquets and pulled out a red envelope.

‘Here it is’ He said ‘Want me to bring it up to size?’

‘Thanks’

Seamus pointed his wand at the card and muttered…’Engorgio’

With the sound of paper rubbing against paper the envelope grew to be about four feet long and three feet wide knocking an empty vodka bottle and two glasses off the table and causing them to smash all over the floor.

‘Bloody hell that’s huge!’ He exclaimed.

‘So every seventh year in Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, Slytherin and Gryffindor signed that?’ Percy asked in interest as Seamus repaired the bottle and levitated it over to the bin.

‘Apparently yeah’ Harry said summoning the bouquets and placing them in the vases.

‘That’s rather nice’

When the bouquets were in the vases Harry made his way over to the table and opened the card with a flick from his wand accepting a tumbler of Firewhiskey from George as he did so.

‘Oh the cheeky buggers!’ He said a moment later.

‘Who are?’ George asked.

‘Luke and Nick Hornby they are exactly like you and Fred were at Hogwarts they managed to get their two Knuts in see? Down the bottom in the corner’

‘And why does that make them little buggers?’

‘They’re third years’

George sniggered after reading the twins message.

‘Dear Professor Potter you’ve only got four days left as a bachelor make the most of it we want details when you get back. Hugs and Kisses Nick and Luke Hornby’

Everyone roared with laughter.

‘Fred and I would have done exactly the same’ George said with a grin ‘Do they spend all their spare time in front of Fred’s portrait in the entrance hall?’

Harry laughed.
‘I don’t think they spend any more time in front of Fred’s portrait than any of the other students do’ He said ‘Unless of course they sneak down there out of hours’

‘Well as a reformed hell raiser I’d guess they would’ George replied ‘It’s a twin thing I think’

‘Since when have you been a reformed hell raiser?’ Charlie asked with a raised eyebrow ‘You were a hell raiser from the time you were born and I think you’ll be a hell raiser til the day you die. In fact I reckon you’re so much of a hell raiser you’ll have to be chained to a chair in the loony bin ward of St Mungos so you don’t escape into the greater community when you’re old and demented’

‘Nah I reckon the ministry will have to build a special secure facility just for our Georgie’ Bill said with a grin ‘Twenty four hour guards, you name it’

‘Fuck off Bill’ George shot back with a roll of his eyes ‘Sodding great prat’

‘Ooooooh original comeback bro’

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At quarter past five after consuming far too much alcohol then some hangover potion to counteract the alcohol’s effects Harry lined up in front of the grate as he prepared to floo to the Ministry of Magic.

‘So still no one’s going to tell me where we’re off to?’ He said grabbing a handful of floo powder and stepping into the grate.

‘NOOOOO!’ Came the collective reply.

‘Move your arse Harry out portkey leaves at twenty five to’ Ron said poking Harry with the end of his wand ‘Just about everyone is there’

‘Fuck off’

Harry threw down the floo powder and said ‘Ministry of Magic!’

Green flames erupted around Harry and with a stomach lurching heave he disappeared from the grate and set off toward the Ministry. He arrived seconds later to find Oliver, Gordon, Larry and Neville waiting for him.

‘Just when am I going to find out where we’re heading?’ He asked Neville stepping out of the grate and banishing the magical ash from his robes.

‘When we get where we’re going’ Neville replied with a grin and the fireplace erupted into green flames.

‘We’re not going to end up in the middle of nowhere in
an icy crevasse are we?’ Harry asked as Seamus arrived.

‘Why would you think that?’ Seamus said theatrically ‘Harry we’re you’re best mates we wouldn’t do that to you’

‘Great idea though thanks Harry’ Oliver said with a laugh.

By twenty five past everyone had arrived including Draco. They got their papers stamped then headed to the Portkey office where they would depart.

‘So how come we’re not flooing?’ Harry asked Ron.

‘Portkey’s easier’ He replied as they filed into a large room ‘And quicker. We have more time to paint the town red and see you right and proper rotten if we go via Portkey. Plus with a portkey we can go directly to where we’re staying whereas with flooing we’d have to go to the Ministry then floo again and I hate international flooing it turns my stomach’

Harry’s attention was drawn to a large table in the centre of the room upon which rested an old tattered cardboard box…the portkey.

‘I don’t know why I trust you lot’ He said hoisting his bag over his shoulder more securely and making his way over to the portkey ‘It’s entirely possible I’m going to end up naked tied to a park bench tonight’

‘We hadn’t actually thought of that Harry thanks for the inspiration’ Neville said with a snort.

‘I’m putting my foot in it aren’t I?’ Harry said dryly.

‘Got it in one compadre’

At five thirty four the portkey glowed gold a sign there was thirty seconds til it departed. Everyone rushed forward and placed a finger on the box. Then seconds later it glowed neon red before they all felt a simultaneous tug behind the navel that pulled them into a swirl of black nothingness.

Harry squeezed his eyes shut and gripped the portkey harder as the group somersaulted through a seemingly never ending abyss, the rapid travel making the effects of the alcohol he had drunk go straight to his head. And just when he was on the point of vomiting mid travel his feet hit solid ground and he fell hard on his bum.

‘Ow!’ He exclaimed ‘Bugger it!’

Seamus was the only one on the group to keep his footing and leaned down to Harry to help him to his feet.

‘Thanks’ Harry said looking around to find the Portkey had arrived in a deserted cul de sac street ‘Looks like the dodgy end of Hogsmeade, are we in England?’

‘Nah we’re not’ Seamus replied a grin slowly spreading across his face.

Draco laughed.
‘I know where we are’ He said as next to him Ron made a five pointed star movement with his wand leaving golden streaks behind. He then made a slashing movement and the star disappeared.

‘So where are we?’ Harry asked hoisting his bag over his shoulder ‘Are we still in England?’

‘No but it’s probably up to Ron, Dean Seamus and Neville to tell you where we are’

‘And in which millennium do you plan on letting me know out geographical location?’ Harry said turning on his four best mates ‘Gin and I will be generations dead and our living descendants will still be wondering where we are’

‘Be patient you prat you’ll find out in a minute’ Ron said as with a bang a black stretch limousine appeared much in the same way as the Knight Bus did. A tall thin wizard dressed in a cheauffers uniform got out and opened the door with a flick from his wand.

‘Welcome to Las Vegas’ He said brightly ‘Hop in and enjoy the tour’

‘Las Vegas?’ Harry shrilled to Ron ‘Fucking Las Vegas? Oh I have wanted to come here for years!’

‘I know you’ve said so for donkeys years that’s why Dean, Neville, Seamus and I got together and organised for you to spend your stag night here’ Ron said as they all piled into the Limousine which like all magical cars had an enlarged interior ‘We’re going to hit the casinos, strip clubs and bars in both the muggle and Wizarding sides of town’

‘There are wizarding casinos here?’ Harry asked in interest.

‘Apparently yes we’re on our way to our hotel now it’s a Wizarding one that you get through a similar way from the Leaky Cauldron into Diagon Alley’ Ron said.

‘Great but what about money to hit the casinos with?’ I haven’t got any U.S dollars and Galleons’

‘Don’t worry about that we’ve organised that for you. All you have to do is go with the flow’ Ron said ‘You’ve got a change of muggle clothing I assume?’

‘Of course I packed one casual one smart outfit considering I didn’t know where I was going’ Harry said as the Limousine started up and turned around ‘I wasn’t sure I should bring a bag at all’

George snorted.

‘You sound scared Harry’ He said with a grin.

‘I am!’ Harry said dryly ‘I am going to get to the altar in one piece on Sunday aren’t I?’

‘That you are’ Seamus said ‘We promised Ginny we would bring you home in one piece’

‘Only because she made you’ George said with a grin ‘She told me she made you repeat after her’

‘She did?’ Harry said with a laugh ‘Did she make you promise anything?’

‘No she said it was only the organising committee that was required to submit to her demands. Gin reckons Ron, Seamus, Dean and Neville being the organisers of your stag night are directly responsible for what happens to you whereas everyone else me included are only guests and have no direct involvement therefore not having the responsibility for what may or may not happen to you’

‘She didn’t make you take an Unbreakable Vow did she?’ Harry asked Ron.

‘No Mum managed to talk her out of that but she did threaten us with out nuts in a jar if you came home in less than pristine condition’

‘Mate that’s one thing I can guarantee you’ll be going home in less than pristine condition’ Seamus said rubbing his hands together.

‘Aw hang it just do what you want!’ Harry said throwing his hands up in the air.

Everyone cheered.

‘So is this hotel we’re staying in anything like the one we stayed in for George’s stag night?’ Harry asked a few minutes later as they drove down the main strip in Reno.

‘Yeah it’s similar but a bit smaller’ Seamus said ‘The hotel that is not the room we’re all staying in. Apparently the suite we’re in is called the Merlin Suite and is the equivalent of a Penthouse suite in a muggle hotel. Apparently the hotel we’re staying in has the best of the wizarding and muggle worlds’

‘So I take it you organised our digs?’

‘No Dean did. Ron organised the entertainment and Neville and I organised transport and drinks’

‘So I can try you bachelor cocktail at the hotel?’

‘Of course it’s traditional in the Finnigan family to start the night off with the said created cocktail after that anything goes’

‘So when you and Lavender get hitched who’s going to create your cocktail?’ Harry asked as they paused outside a club with a flashing neon pink sign proclaiming ‘GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS!’

‘Me brother Ciaran (Pronounced Kee-ran) it’s tradition in the Finnegan family that a brother creates the cocktail but I created Fergus because he has only sisters’

‘Who started the tradition?’ Charlie asked Seamus in interest.

‘My great grandfather on me mam’s side’ Seamus said ‘He invented my grandfathers cocktail when he married Nanny’

‘What was it called?’

‘The Blistered Arsehole’ Seamus said with a grin ‘It’s a shot of Firewhiskey with three peppercorns and a Hades chilli. The whole idea is to swill the drink around your mouth while chewing on the peppercorns and chilli them swallow’

‘I’d lose my sense of taste after that’ Charlie said ‘I ate a Hades chilli once and literally passed out. Some prat at the reserve in Romania thought it was funny to put some on a pizza’

‘So does a Blistered Arsehole blister your arsehole?’ Bill asked.

‘It can but it didn’t in my case’ Seamus said ‘Me Uncle Tadgh (This is pronounced Tige, as in tiger without the ‘er’) drank on once on my Uncle Joe’s stag night and his bum burned so much he had to sit in a tub of yoghurt bare bummed for two days’

Everyone roared with laughter.

‘If mine is like that I will hex your balls off’ Harry threatened.

‘Nah yours is rather nice I’ve spent a whole month on it experimenting with various alcoholic beverages’ Seamus said proudly ‘I had Lavender and Pavarti and Padma Patil taste various concoctions and I reckon I’ve come up with a nice drink’

‘You ought to write a cocktail recipe book’ Ron said.

‘Nah the Finnegan Family cocktail recipes are a closely guarded secret only revealed to a select few’ Seamus said with a grin ‘If I wrote a book containing all the recipes and released it to the public the entire Finnegan family would back me into a corner hex my cock off and attach it to my forehead with a permanent sticking charm’

‘Just out of curiosity what do the girls marrying into the Finnegan family do for a pre wedding tradition?’ Harry asked.

‘I’m not a hundred percent sure but the last bird to marry into the family Sarah who married Fergus got a tattoo’ Seamus said ‘Apparently all the girls that went on the hens night got one’

‘Hey that’s an idea’ George exclaimed ‘I’m sure Reno has a tattoo parlour somewhere lets gets some ink done!’

Neville groaned loudly.
‘Last time I went into a tattoo parlour I came out with a ring at the end of my cock and a dragon the size of a mature Blast Ended Skrewt on my back’ He said.

Dean, Seamus, Harry and Ron who had been on Neville’s stag night sniggered.

‘There’s an idea everyone who hasn’t had ink done or something pierced should partake’ Harry said with a grin ‘I might make that a Potter family tradition’

‘Bugger off Harry I don’t fancy getting a padlock through the end of my johnson’ Oliver exclaimed ‘A tattoo I can understand but no cock rings’

‘Big wuss’ Harry taunted with a grin ‘Where’s your Gryffindor bravery Oliver? I’m disappointed. It’s not that painful you know’

‘Speak for yourself’ Neville muttered.

‘Neville you were too pissed on your stag night to know what your name was let alone to notice a needle going through the end of your prick’ Dean said ‘And anyway Oliver it’s nothing a quick healing charm can’t fix’

‘Well Gryffindor bravery can go to hell’ Oliver said ‘I’m going to take the wussy Hufflepuff way out on this. And Alicia would notice’

‘And your point?’ Ron said ‘I bet you a hundred Galleons she would like it. Hermione likes mine’

Oliver screwed up his face.
‘No offence mate but I don’t really want to know what Hermione likes’ Oliver said.

‘At the very least it’s something you could hang your Gringotts vault key off of’ Harry said with a great snorting laugh.

‘Sorry I’m going to be a bit personal here but erm...how does it erm...’ Gordon said struggling to fid the appropriate words to describe his thoughts.

‘Affect how you get it up?’ Ron volunteered.

‘Yeah’

‘If anything it helps’ Dean said weighing into the conversation ‘It has in my case anyway’

Seamus sniggered heartily.
‘Been giving Padma a good seeing to eh Deano?’ He said with a grin elbowing his best mate in the side.

Dean just rolled his eyes.

‘How about you Arthur?’ Seamus said with a grin ‘Fancy adding a bit of silverware to the old block and tackle?’

Harry sniggered at his friend’s choice of words.

‘Oh no way I’m not getting anything added on’ Arthur said holding his hands up ‘I would consider a tattoo but not any silverware as you put it’

‘I have a proposal for you all’ Harry suddenly announced.

All heads turned to him.

‘This only applies to those of you who haven’t had any adjustments to your wang’ Harry continued ‘I will give each of you a hundred galleons if you get it done’

‘Not enough’ Oliver said instantly ‘No way in a hundred million years’

‘Make it a hundred and fifty and you’re on’ Larry said with a grin.

Harry shook Larry’s hand.
‘Deal’

‘Oy why didn’t you make that deal on Neville’ stag night?’ Ron asked Harry.

‘Because you were all brave and got it done unabashed whereas this lot are a bunch of limp wristed nancy boy Hufflepuffs’ Harry teased ‘You took the Gryffindor path’

‘I don’t need a hundred galleons but if you spend the whole night wearing a pink tutu a Gryffindor tie and one of those gaudy plastic tiaras you get at the Hogsmeade Agricultural show I’ll get it done’ Draco said to Harry.

‘Typical crafty sneaky Slytherin bastard’ Harry said ‘But do let me know what Katie thinks of the addition to the Malfoy Family jewels won’t you?’

‘Are you on or not?’ Draco said his pale features colouring up slightly.

‘You’re on’ Harry said shaking his hand ‘But I get to conjure the tutu and tiara’

‘I suppose that’s fair’

Ten minutes later the limousine pulled off into a side street off the main Reno strip they drove past yet another casino before driving through a seemingly solid reinforced tiger wire fence and up to a wizarding hotel that was just as brightly lit and gaudy in its decorations as the muggle ones on the main strip.

‘Gentlemen we have arrived’ The chauffer announced pulling to a gentle stop in front of the main doors of the building ‘Welcome to the Regency the choice hotel for the wizarding community in Nevada’

Seamus laughed out loud.
‘Oh we are going to have so much fun tonight’ He said rubbing his hands together ‘C’mon lads let’s paint the town red!’

Everyone piled out of the car and made their way into the hotel where a bellboy showed them up to their top floor room. Harry took a running jump and landed theatrically on a huge king sized bed.

‘I bags this one!’ He announced ‘Okay Finnegan get to making this cocktail I’m not doing anything else til I taste it!’

‘Impatient git’ Seamus said going to the small bar in the corner of the room

‘Okay lads before Seamus performs his task for tonight it’s my duty as manager of the organising committee to introduce you to the theme for tonight’ Ron said with a grin.

‘Oh look out’ Percy muttered.

‘Tonight’s theme is ‘The School Boy’ Ron said with a grin ‘So for the entire evening you all have to wear your Hogwarts uniform. House crests and all’

‘That’s better than a tutu anyway’ Harry muttered.

‘Harry you’re not getting away with it that easily’ Draco said with a grin ‘You mightn’t be able to wear the entire uniform but you can still wear the shirt and tie’

‘Lucky we’re in America or Minerva would skin us alive’ Neville said ‘So do we have to wear full robes and cloaks?’

‘Of course and any badges’

‘I’m going to look like a fucking prat poncing about town in a tutu tiara and my fucking school uniform’ Harry muttered as the others with complicated wand movements transfigured the clothes they were wearing into their old uniforms.

George laughed as Mr Weasley transfigured his clothes into the full Hogwarts school robes with the Gryffindor tie and maroon and gold necked grey jumper and accompanying prefect badge.

‘You ought to keep that look for when you get home Dad I reckon it would get Mum hot to trot’ Bill said with a great snorting laugh.

‘Oh make me vomit why don’t you’ George muttered mimicking the vomiting motions ‘That’s disgusting Bill’

Harry noticed Mr Weasley’s ears had turned fire-engine red as he busied himself with neatening his tie.

‘Do I have to wear the tutu over my trousers or dispense with the trousers and just wear the tutu?’ Harry asked.

‘Just the tutu' Draco said with a grin adjusting his emerald green Slytherin tie ‘You’re supposed to look a total prat tonight’

‘I’m not conjuring it now I’ll do it later just before we go out’ Harry said determinedly ‘I want there to be some stage of the evening where I don’t look like a total idiot’

‘It’s not really that different from out teaching robes is it? Neville said to Harry and Draco ‘Though I dispense with the outer robes in the greenhouses and wear coveralls over the rest’

‘I have the Hogwarts crest on my teaching robes not the Slytherin one’ Draco said doing up the clasp on his robes.

‘Alright you go next Seamus’ Ron said.

‘Okay gather round lads gather round lads and prepare to consume a gastronomic alcoholic orgiastic feast for the senses’ Seamus declared rubbing his hands together.

‘Gawd this is going to be dangerous I can tell’ Harry said leaving the bed and pulling out a bar stool to sit on it ‘Okay what is the name of this creation?’

‘I’ll tell you when I’m finished’

‘All the ingredients are here?’ George asked in interest.

‘Yup Dean asked to have the ingredients prepared ahead of out arrival when he booked’ Seamus said enlarging a cocktail shaker with a poke from his wand ‘We’re in the only room with a fully stocked bar. There are even seven different brands of vodka here’

‘Oh that’s going to make the night even more exiting’ Draco said dryly.

Seamus added vodka, cream liqueur, mint leaves, milk, chocolate sauce and sugar into the cocktail shaker then charmed it to shake itself while he lined up thirteen tumblers and put ice in them. He then crouched down and retrieved a can of cream from underneath the bar.

‘Leesh and I had fun with a can of that stuff last night’ Oliver said at random.

Everyone groaned.

‘Mate I want to keep down whatever I’m going to drink tonight’ Harry said screwing up his face ‘Incidentally got her pregnant yet?’

‘Oh those words are so crass’ Percy muttered ‘Are you drunk already Harry?’

‘A bit tipsy yeah’ Harry said with a grin ‘How about you Percival Ignatius?’

Mr Weasley, George, Bill, Charlie and Ron sniggered heartily.

‘Sod off Harry it’s not Percival you know that it’s just Percy’ Percy said rolling his eyes ‘Prat’

Seamus stopped the cocktail shaker from shaking itself then took the lid off the top with a flourish. He then poured its contents into each of the thirteen tumblers and proceeded to spray a coil of cream on top of each drink.

‘Great lets get into whatever that is’ Harry said reaching for a glass.

‘Oy I’m not finished yet’ Seamus said slapping Harry’s hand away ‘This is a piece of art not a pint of lager it requires artistry and precision to create’

‘Hurry up Finnigan the wedding’s on Sunday remember’ Charlie said drumming his fingers on the bar ‘My kids will be at Hogwarts before I get to taste that’

‘Rosmerta doesn’t take this much time to serve a drink’ Ron said with a grin.

‘She would if she were serving this’ Seamus said grating chocolate onto each swirl of cream ‘And I am making thirteen at once’

Eventually Seamus finished off decorating each drink with a mint leaf.

‘There you prats all done’ He said wiping his hands on the seat of his pants ‘Harry this is you own personal stag night cocktail I call it the Mint Cumshot. You can sip it but I reckon slamming it down s’cuse the pun would be better...get into it all of ya’

Bill. Charlie, Percy, George, Ron, Dean, Seamus, Draco, Larry, Gordon, Oliver, Arthur and Neville all started forward and grabbed a glass of Seamus’s creation.

‘Harry as your closest mates we’d like to wish you all the best for Sunday’ Seamus said lifting his glass in a toast ‘All of us wish you and Ginny all the best and hope you are married forever’

‘To Harry!’

Harry put the glass to his nose and sniffed.

‘Well it doesn’t smell too bad’ He said ‘Here it goes’

Harry took a deep breath put the glass to his lips and with his friends chanting ‘CHUG CHUG CHUG!’ he bolted down his drink getting cream and grated chocolate all over his nose in the process.

‘So what do you think?’ Seamus asked after Harry wiped the cream off his face.

‘Very nice’ Harry said ‘Another?’

‘Sure thing anything for you Harry tonight’s your night’ Seamus said.

‘So have you lot scheduled tonight’s activities in stone or are we just going to get pissed and wander about Reno?’ Harry asked Ron.

‘Just wander about and getting pissed’ Ron said finishing off his Mint Cumshot ‘The main strip is only a ten minute walk away according to the brochure I thought we could have a few drinks here then go for a wander see a few strip shows and shoot some craps’

‘I’ll be shooting some craps if I keep on drinking this’ George said to no one in particular.

Harry sniggered inhaling his drink up his nose which in turn came out his nose. That got George laughing who set off Seamus then in turn everyone was rolling about laughing.

‘Oh-oh-come-on-I’m-n-n-not-that-f-f-f-funny!’ George stammered trying to control himself.

‘No you’re not but Harry is snorting his drink up his honker’ Charlie chuckled ‘Artistic stuff Harry you ought to do that at the reception on Sunday that would go down a treat’

‘Sod off’

*******************************************************************

Half an hour later after consuming several Mint Cumshots each Ron announced it was time to hit the town.

‘We’re not leavin’ til Potter putsch on a tutu and plashtic tiara’ Draco slurred.

‘The way I’m feeling I’m likely to conjure a fucking hippogriff’ Harry groaned drawing his wand.

After a few flicks with his wand from which he conjured a carton of milk two pairs of shorts a western saddle and half a dozen neon glow sticks George went into the bedroom he Harry, Seamus, Dean, Neville, Ron were going to share and returned with a bottle of hangover potion.

‘Harry if we wait til you can conjure a tutu and tiara we’ll be here all night and not be able to leave the room because of all the crap you have conjured’ He said dryly as Neville rapidly on his way to becoming as drunk as he was on his stag night giggled like a little girl at Harry’s latest attempt to conjure up the required clothing (A leopard print g-string) ‘Here drink this, and Neville I reckon it might be worth you having some of this too’

‘Nah I’m fiiiiiiiiiine!’ Neville exclaimd slinging an arm around Georges shoulders ‘I love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu George Weasley!’

‘Yeah mate I love you too’ George said dryly diplomatically taking Neville’s arm off his shoulders and draping it around Seamus ‘Give Seamus some loving I’m married’

‘Sho am I!’

Harry downed the Hangover Draught and within seconds felt his head clearing. He then summoned another bottle from the bedroom ad pushed it into Neville’s grasp.

‘Mate drink this I don’t want you to show me up tonight’ He said with a grin ‘It’s my turn to cartwheel naked over an al fresco table’

‘You really did that?’ Draco exclaimed temporarily shaken from his tipsy stupor.

‘Yup but I don’ remember it’ Neville said after swallowing a mouthful of the potion ‘I remember jumping naked off the Blackpool pier though’

‘Pity we’re so far inland I quite fancy going for a skinny dip’ Bill said finishing off his drink.

‘There’s a swimming centre about five miles away’ Draco said as the Hangover Draught was passed around ‘But I doubt it would be open this time of night’

‘Bollocks that lets break in’ Percy said ‘We’ve got the advantage of magic we could put a freezing charm on any muggle burglar alarms then do whatever the hell we like’

Everyone turned and stared at the clearly drunk Percy.

‘Pardon?’ Charlie exclaimed stopping the bottle of potion halfway to his lips ‘Are you mentally ill Perce?’

Ron sniggered.

‘Are you Percy Ignatius Weasley condoning committing a felony?’ George exclaimed who seemed the most floored by Percy’s out of character comment ‘Mum would have a horse if she heard you say that’

Mr Weasley put his hands over his hears and began chanting…
‘La la la la la la la la la la la la laaaaaaaaaaaaaa!’ He sang ‘I am deaf I am deaf I am deaf!’

‘Oh loosen up Dad I reckon Perce’s idea has some merit’ Ron said ‘And Mum doesn’t have to know. And if you like we can put a memory charm on you afterwards if you like’

‘Oh lads I think you’re venturing into very dangerous territory’ He said making a face ‘Remember we’re in another country if we get caught we’re in big trouble’

‘That’s why Arthur we’re not going to get in trouble’ Seamus said with a grin clapping Mr Weasley on the back ‘C’mon lets paint the town red for Harry’s sake. You know your seventh son the man who is going to marry your little girl. Remember everything tonight is for Harry’

‘Gawd you make crawling up other peoples arses an art form Finnigan’ Draco said rolling his eyes as Bill handed him the bottle of Hangover Potion.

‘Cheers to you Malfoy’

‘C’mon Harry conure up a tutu and tiara and let’s get this show on the road’ Seamus said elbowing Harry in the side ‘Remember we’ve only got two days here’

Harry rolled his eyes and with a swish conjured up a hot pink webbing tutu with diamante hems and a silver chiffon waistband. He put it on and fluffed it up with a poke from his wand. Then with another swish from his wand conjured up a gaudy plastic tiara. He put it on his head and secured it with a temporary sticking charm. Ron roared with laughter as he took Harry’s new attire in.

‘Harry you look like you should be on the lead float in a gay pride parade’ He chuckled ‘Ha ha ha!’

‘Happy?’ Harry said to Draco putting his hands on his hips ‘I’m on my stag night and look like a fucking poof’

‘Mate there’s not doubt about what team you bat for’ Neville said ‘It’s your stag night you’re supposed to do stupid things like wear a tutu and tiara’

‘You didn’t wear one on yours’

‘I know that but my stupid thing well things was to get my wang pierced and to streak through Diagon Alley and cartwheel over a table outside Fortescue’s’ Neville said ‘Each stag night is different’

‘Apparently so’

‘C’mon lets head on the road I know of one place I reckon you lot would like’ Draco said a moment later pulling on a set of robes.

‘So how come you know so much abut Las Vegas?’ Harry asked as they all filed out of the room.

‘I spent a lot of time here after post war trials’ Draco said ‘When Mother and father decided to immigrate to America they were tossing up between coming to Nevada or Hawaii. Mother fancied lounging on the beach all day so she talked father into Hawaii. But I got to know Las Vegas pretty well there’s rather a big wizarding community here you know there’s a Hippogriff Reserve in Southern Nevada and a dragon reserve northern Nevada apparently it’s the only place in the whole of the United States that’s sufficiently deserted and far enough away from muggles to have one’

‘You didn’t say anything!’ Ron said to Charlie.

‘You didn’t ask me to’ Charlie said with a grin ‘Had you asked me ‘Charlie is there a Dragon Reserve in America Charlie I would’ve said Yes Ronald there’s one in northern Nevada’

Ron rolled his eyes as everyone else sniggered.

‘Fucking smartarse’ Ron said.

‘So is this place we’re going to a muggle or Wizarding establishment?’ Harry asked Draco.

‘Wizarding’ Draco said ‘It’s quite popular with the under thirty crowd but all ages attend various theme nights they have on. Wednesday is frog racing night’

‘Frog racing?’ Oliver exclaimed who would race bloody frogs?’ Horses and Greyhounds I can understand but frogs?’

‘Meh I don’t get it either but it’s fun you can place bets on it and everything but you can’t use your wands’

‘Oh that’s no fun’ Larry said.

Everyone apparated downstairs and Harry attracted lots of stares as he made his way through the lobby.

‘What are you lookin’ at sthweetcheekth?’ He lisped at an elderly man who gave him a scandalised look ‘Did I pinchth your tutu?’

‘Harry you’re awful!’ Dean snorted struggling to control himself.

‘Mate I’m only just starting’ Harry said with a laugh ‘Wait til we get to this bar Malfoy’s taking us to’

A few minutes later after passing four muggle casinos and three strip clubs Draco led them down an alley between a strip joint and a burger bar.

‘Down here there’s three wizarding establishments’ He said ‘A nightclub a strip joint and a sports bar’ He said ‘And at each place you can floo to all the other Wizarding entertainment establishments in Nevada’

‘And the whole of America?’ George asked.

‘I expect so...why?’

‘Because I know of an ace club in New York that we could spend all night at’

‘Lets see how we all feel in a few hours then if we’re feeling up to it lets go’ Harry said ‘I’ve already hit the piss hard tonight and been up since six thirty this morning I don’t want to flake out too’

‘Don’t worry mate we’ll fill you full of Red Bull and you’ll stay awake til we get home’ Seamus said with a grin ‘Or we can get some Revitalising or No Doze Potions from the hotel’

‘Bugger off I took some No Doze Potion in the lead up to my final Auror Exams and I was literally awake for three days straight’ Harry said.

‘How much did you take?’ Oliver ask in interest ‘I took some in the lead up to my seventh year exams at Hogwarts and it only kept me awake a few hours’

‘I reckon I might’ve drunk a bit much of it’ Harry said as they passed a full dumpster ‘Malfoy where the hell are we going?’

‘Here’ Draco said stopping outside a bare expanse of wall and drawing his wand ‘You get in here in the same way you get from the Leaky Cauldron to Diagon Alley’

Draco tapped the bricks in a simple counter clockwise pattern and slowly the bricks melted away to reveal a bright neon sign flashing ‘HELLRAISERS KARAOKE BAR’.

‘Oh fuuuuuuuuck oooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrffffffff I am not going to a fucking karaoke bar’ Harry protested as they started toward the door that was guarded by a big burly security guard dressed in black trousers, muscle shirt and sunglasses.

‘Yes you are’ Ron said as he and Neville seized his arms and dragged him toward their entrance ‘Have some fun tonight Harry you’re not a boring old fart like Percy’

‘Oy!’ Percy exclaimed ‘I am quite capable of having fun you know’

‘Since when?’ Charlie exclaimed.

‘Ha ha’

Everyone showed their I.D to the security guard then made their way into the bar which was a combination of a muggle sports bar with several T.V’s showing Muggle and Wizarding Sports and a large stage with a Karaoke system set up on it. There was a line up of people waiting to have their go and an even bigger line up at the bar. Several people turned to stare at the group and laughed loudly on seeing Harry in his tutu and tiara.

‘Hey mate the gay bar strip is the other end of town!’ One Wizard resembling an outlaw bikie in appearance called with a laugh.

‘Get fucked it’s his stag night’ Ron said.

‘And I’m wearing this for a bet not willingly!’ Harry exclaimed.

‘Hey hey...HEY EVERYONE THIS GUY’S GETTING MARRIED!’

A loud cheer went up from the queue at the bar and the bikie wizard waved Harry and his friends over.

‘Congratulations pal’ He said ‘When ya getting hitched?’

‘Sunday’ Harry said.

‘Ah English are ya? Well welcome to Las Vegas what’s ya name?’

‘Harry’ Harry said ‘And these are my mates Ron, Dean, Seamus, Neville, Bill, Charlie, Percy, George, Larry, Oliver, Gordon and Arthur. Arthur is my future father in law and Bill, Charlie, Percy, George and Ron are my future brothers in law’

‘Ah keepin’ it in the family eh? I’m Garry and this is Dick, Sharon and Jem this is out local’

‘Nice to meet ya’ Harry said as Dean, Seamus, Ron and Neville headed for the bar.

‘So how long are you in town for?’ Garry asked.

‘Two days til Thursday night when our Portkey leaves’ Harry said ‘My stay is sort of a stag nightS’

‘Aye why not? Your mates going to take you sightseeing while you’re in town?’

‘Nah we’re just taking him to girlie bars and getting him pissed’ George said with a grin ‘We’ve only just started the night and if we’re feeling up to it I’m taking this lot to the Stone Age club in New York’

‘Ah you’re a regular there eh?’

'Sort of I have a shop in Thirty Seventh street and come across the pond quite a bit to check on things’

‘Oh yeah what business are you in?’

‘Jokes’ George said ‘Well I prefer to call it the light entertainment industry’

Garry laughed.

‘What’s the name?’

‘Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes America’

‘Fucking hell you own that shop?’ Garry exclaimed ‘God everyone in Wizarding America know about that shop’

‘Glad to hear it’ George said with a grin ‘Maybe my associates and I ought to open one up here’

‘Bloody hell George we’re on Harry’s stag night not a fucking business seminar’ Charlie said dryly ‘Damn the shop for a nano second will ya? It’s your job to get him pissed not bore the crap out of him discussing your business dealings’

‘Know of any other good places to hit for a stag night?’ Gordon asked Garry.

‘Well it depends on how big your budget is and how much time you have’ Garry said ‘I’d try Thongs Inc that’s a wet t-shirt joint on Granada then if you just fancy getting off ya face there’s Collected Corpse that’s a huge bar on Lincoln and if you want to dance drunk there’s Dr Ego’s that’s a dance club a bit further away at the end of Mount Alexander Parade’

‘Are they all wizarding joints?’ Larry asked.

‘Yeah all except Thongs Inc that’s a muggle club about ten doors down’

‘I’m not going to know my know name by the time I go back to England’ Harry groaned as Neville, Dean and Ron came back from the bar behind Seamus who was carrying an enormous bottle of high grade vodka a box of shot glasses and curiously a bottle of chocolate sauce.

‘Pal that’s the whole point of a stag night’ Garry said with a laugh ‘Your mates look like they’re well on the way to getting you that way’

‘We’ve barely started’ Seamus said putting the shot glasses on the table in a line and opening his bottle of vodka ‘Okay Harry before not we’ve just had a few quiet drinks the time has come for some hardcore pissing. I’m going to fill up each shot glass with Vodka and it is your job to slam down each one without a break’

‘Pardon?’ Harry yelped ‘There’s twelve, thirteen...fourteen shot glasses there! And what the hell are you doing with fucking chocolate sauce?’

‘You’re not going to be drinking straight vodka’ Seamus said filling each glass with the vodka and uncapping the bottle of chocolate sauce ‘This is another of my inventions it’s called ‘Shit On The Doorstep’ It’s basically a shot of vodka with three drops of chocolate sauce in it. Though if you mix it up it’s called ‘Diarrhoea on the Highway’

Garry laughed at Harry’s expression of horror.

‘And what do I get if I’m still standing after all this?’ He said as Seamus proceeded to drop chocolate sauce in each shot glass of vodka ‘A lullaby and a tuck in when I go to bed?’

The whole group fell about laughing.

‘If you like’ Seamus said ‘But I’m going to be a real bastard and say you have to down the whole fourteen in no more than twenty seconds’

‘Fuck and I thought we Americans could drink’ Garry said ‘You English could drink us under the table no contest’

When Seamus finished dispensing the chocolate sauce Ron, Dean, Seamus, Neville, Bill, Charlie, Percy, George, Larry, Oliver, Gordon, Draco and Arthur all gathered in a circle around Harry. Their loud conversation had attracted the attention of the other patrons and soon there was a significant number of people gathered to see if Harry could bolt down his Vodka.

‘Okay tell me when’ Harry said bracing himself.

‘On the count of three’ Seamus said looking at his watch ‘C’mon everyone count down with me!’

‘THREE, TWO, ONE!’

Quick as a flash Harry yanked the first shot glass off the table and bolted it’s contents down wincing slightly at the sweet taste then buoyed on by the cheers of the gathered crowd raced to down the drinks in under twenty seconds.

‘C’MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARREEEEEEEEEEEEE!’ They screamed stamping the floor and letting fly from bangs from the end of their wands.

‘THIS IS DISGUSTING!’ Harry bellowed after slamming down the eleventh Shit on The Doorstep.

‘Hurry up Harry you’re making great time!’ Seamus said excitedly.

‘Can I drink more than one at one-sch?’ Harry slurred as He swallowed the twelfth shot.

‘NO!’

The sweetness of the Chocolate sauce in the vodka was affecting Harry more than the alcohol itself and by the time he downed the fourteenth shot on the Doorstep he was on the point of vomiting.

A deafening cheer went up from the crowd as Harry slammed down the fourteenth shot glass and slumped into a nearby chair.

‘What time did he do?’ Neville asked.

‘Fourteen seconds even!’ Seamus declared flashing his watch for all to see ‘That’s a record Harry you beat Fergus’s time he could only manage eighteen point two’

‘Oh and doesn’t that make me feel spiffing?’ Harry said dryly ‘Gawd that one is going to repeat on me I can tell...bring any Hangover Draught with ya Georgie?’

‘No but I can apparate back to the hotel and get you some if you like’ George said ‘But piking a bit early aren’t ya? The sun’s barely gone down’

‘George I drank four Mint Cumshots and now fourteen Shit on the Doorsteps!’ Harry yelped ‘Even you Miss Piss Up Two Thousand Four would have issued getting rid of that. You bolt down fourteen shots of vodka and I’ll lay off ya’

‘You’re on fill ‘em up Finnigan’

‘You’re game then eh?’ Seamus said cleaning the glasses with a swish from his wand and taking the lid off the vodka again ‘I ought to create a Finnigan and Friends Drinking Hall of Fame if you’re that keen’

‘There’s one person I’d like to see down fourteen shots of voddie before George’ Bill said with a grin.

‘Who?’ Harry asked in interest.

‘Dad’ Bill said clapping Mr Weasley on the back ‘Dad if you can get rid of fourteen shots and beat Harry’s time I’ll do a dare in return anything you suggest’

‘No way’ Mr Weasley said at once ‘Not in a hundred million years nooooooo way I’d like my bollocks to stay firmly attached to my body thankyou very much’

‘What have your bollocks got to do with anything?’ Oliver asked.

‘Molly would hex them off if she found out I was participating in drinking games’

‘Oh come on Dad loosen up’ Percy exclaimed ‘I’m supposed to be the uptight stuff shirt in this family not you’

‘You’d do anything?’ Mr Weasley said to his eldest rubbing his chin.

‘You name it’

‘This is Harry’s stag night you know’ Dean said ‘He’s the one that should be doing dares’

‘Hey I don’t mind anyone doing dares on my behalf!’ Harry exclaimed ‘And I’ve done my dare for the night getting around looking like a girl with a fucking tutu and tiara on’

‘You think we’re going to stop at that?’ Draco said with a raised eyebrow ‘Oh man are you deluded. That’s just the start of things a tutu and tiara are kids stuff compared to what we have in store for you’

‘Okay I’ll have a go’ Arthur said bravely stepping up to the table ‘I don’t know why but I’ll do it’

‘That’s the way Arthur!’ Seamus declared clapping Mr Weasley on the back ‘And what goes on the road stays on the road eh? I won’t tell Molly anything if you don’t tell Lavender anything’

‘Idiot’ The rest of the group chorused.

‘You know Arthur I don’t think Molly will hex your bollocks off if she does find out you’ve been participating in drinking games’ Neville said with a grin ‘She might drop dead from the shock’

‘Yeah but her ghost would remain on the earth for the rest of Dad’s life trying to hex is nuts off’ Percy said with a tipsy giggle.

‘Ghosts can perform magic?’ Harry asked in surprise

‘No of coursch not but if Mum did come back as a ghoscht she would still find a way to put the wind up Dad’

‘Okay Arthur there you go the time to beat is fourteen seconds’ Seamus said stepping back.

‘I can’t believe you’re actually doing this Dad’ Ron said in amusement ‘Fourteen shots of voddie is more than you’ve drunk all year even at Georgie and Ange’s wedding and Harry’s birthday’

‘Well someone has to be the sensible person at family gatherings’ Mr Weasley said with a grin.

‘Yeah true Dad but that’s not your job anymore you passed that privilege down to Perce years ago’ Charlie said with a grin ‘He can be the Weasley old fart now. George being the joker of the family can be the modern day Uncle Bilius it’s been a while since someone from our family has rocked up to a Weasley Wedding hitched up their robes and pulled flowers out of their ar...’

‘Excuse me!’ Percy exclaimed ‘I am not an old fart’

‘Are too’ Everyone chorused.

‘And though I’m privileged to be considered the Weasley family joker even I won’t turn up to a wedding hitch my robes up and pull flowers out of my bum’ George said ‘I don’t get that drunk’

‘Yeah you do but you don’t pull flowers out your bum you dance like an eggbeater and pash Angelina like the world is at the point of ending’ Bill said ‘Mind you you’re only twenty six there’s loads of time for you to morph into another Uncle Bilius’

‘Yeah maybe but after Mum’s long dead and gone and the risk of me losing my bollocks lessens’ George said ‘Now bugger me Dad get moving and bolt down these shots I want to see if you can beat Harry’s time’

‘I seriously cannot believe I’m about to do this’ Mr Weasley muttered bracing himself ‘And in my old school uniform!’

‘Shut up Dad and get it over with’ Percy said with a drunken grin.

‘Okay Here goes’ Mr Weasley said as Seamus readied his watch.

‘GO!’ He bellowed.

Mr Weasley grabbed the first shot and bolted down a fuelled by his sons, Harry, Dean, Seamus, Neville, Draco, Oliver Gordon and Larry cheering him on the first was quickly followed by the second.

‘I-haven’t-got-the-constitution-for-thisch’ He announced after the seventh shot.

‘KEEP GOING!’ Was the only response.

Seconds later Mr Weasley downed the fourteenth shot after swilling his around his mouth and swallowing with a just sucked lemon expression on his face.

‘That’s REVOLTING!’ He bellowed.

‘Sod the taste we want to know your time!’ Ron said with a laugh as his father sank onto a nearby bar stool.

‘Bit slower than Harry I’m afraid’ Seamus said flashing his watch around for all to see ‘Seventeen point three seconds’

‘Still a fair effort Dad’ Bill said with a grin.

‘I reckon you all ought to have a go’ Harry said with a grin ‘Go on I want all of you to muck in if I’m going to get drunk you’re going to get drunk’

‘I’m game if you all are’ Draco said bravely ‘I don’t think the stag should have to do anything the guests are not prepared to do’

‘Malfoy I agree with ya but if Perce drink fourteen shot of vodka we’ll be carrying him not Harry around Vegas’ George said with a grin.

‘Fuck off George I am quite capable of holding my drink!’ Percy exclaimed who seemed to get more and more eloquent the drunker he got.

‘Show me then’

*******************************************************************

An hour and a half later after everyone in the group had taken their turn at the vodka drinking race it was decided to move onto the other wizarding establishments in town. They had only just left Hellraisers and were walking the main strip when together Neville, Ron, Seamus and Dean pulled Harry into a nearby side street while everyone else kept guard.

‘What the FUCK are you doing?’ He yelped as with a flick of a wand his clothes disappeared and he stood in the alleyway behind an overflowing dumpster clutching at his manhood.

‘Spicing up the evening you prat shut up or we’ll get busted’ Ron hissed flicking his wand so a very brief French maids uniform apron appeared barely covering Harry up.

Seamus flicked his wand and Harry’s hair turned neon pink and elaborate make up appeared on hus face. The Dean poked at Harry and a studded latex cap appeared on his head. Finally Neville weaved his magic and a pair of fire engine red stiletto heels appeared on Harry’s feet.

‘There that looks better’ He said casting an eye over his friend.

‘C’mon now we continue the evening’ Ron said grabbing Harry’s arm and pulling him forward.

When Harry made his appearance from the alleyway Bill, Charlie, Percy, George, Oliver, Draco, Larry, Gordon and Mr Weasley fell about laughing.

‘I have to admire your wand work lads Harry looks like a drag queen’ Oliver said with a great snorting laugh ‘Now what?’

‘We go’ Seamus said with a knowing look at the others.

‘Go where?’ Harry asked.

‘Away’ Seamus said with a grin.

And with a collective crack the rest of the group disapparated.

‘GUYS THIS IS NOT FUNNY!’ Harry bellowed spinning on the spot and giving one old lady who was passing a real shock.

‘Well I never!’ She exclaimed.

Harry went to disapparate back to the hotel but found he was no longer in the possession of his wand so he just fell over baring his bum to a passing muggle police officer.

Back in the hotel room Neville had performed an extraordinary piece of magic that allowed the group to see Harry and the predicament he currently found himself in.

‘Oh shit that’s a muggle police officer he’s going to get arrested!’ Dean exclaimed horrified but also struggling not to laugh himself stupid.

‘We-c-c-an-get him-out-l-l-et’s-let-him-s-s-tew-for-a-b-b-it!’ Seamus sniggered as they watched the police officer approach Harry.

‘When we give him his wand back we’re going to have to run for the hill he’ll kill us all!’ Neville said with a laugh as he twirled Harry’s wand in his fingers.

‘That’s why we’re not going to give it back to him’ Ron said ‘Not any time soon anyway’

‘You know this is a license for him to do the same to us you know that don’t you?’ Draco said ‘Those of us who aren’t married yet anyway especially you Weasley when you and Granger get married he’s going to make your life hell on your stag night’

‘Meh I’ve not done anything to Harry tonight I’m not prepared to cop on my stag night when it comes’ Ron said with a grin.

‘You guys are awful’ Oliver said in disbelief as they watched the cop interrogate Harry ‘My stag night was a little old lady’s tea party compared to what this one is’

*******************************************************************

‘Officer do you really think I wear this outfit all the time?’ Harry said to the officer ‘I’m on my stag night for pete’s sake my mates left me here and have fucking disappeared!’

The officer waved his hand in front of his face and screwed up his nose.
‘Pal I think it’s best if you come with me back to the precinct’ He said ‘You reek of liquor’

‘Hey hang on-I...’

‘Never mind I’m arresting you for being drunk in a public place and indecent exposure. You’re not obligated to say anything but whatever you do say may be used in a court of law. If you cannot afford an attorney one will be provided for you at the cost of the state do you understand what I have told you?’

‘Of course I understand you I’m drunk not stupid’ Harry said as the cop removed handcuffs from his utility belt and slapped them on Harry ‘This is my stag night mate come on!’

‘Big deal lets get you down to the precinct offices and try and get you something more appropriate than a French maid’s apron eh?’

‘I’m going to fucking kill those bastards!’ Harry seethed.

*******************************************************************

Back in the hotel room Bill, Charlie, Percy, George, Ron, Dean, Seamus, Neville, Gordon, Larry, Oliver, Draco and Mr Weasley were laughing so hard their faces were scarlet and tears were running down their faces.

‘I can’t believe you got the bastard arrested on his stag night!’ Oliver bellowed clutching his stomach in mirth ‘So how long are we going to let him stew?’

‘Til he gets back to the precinct cells and they book him in’ Ron said with a grin ‘We’ll let him start thinking we’re never going to come back and get him then we’ll bust him out’

‘You’re going to have to cast a lot of memory charms to get him out successfully’ Draco said with a chuckle as the projection showed a Las Vegas Police Department car pulled up and Harry was bundled inside ‘But I have to give you credit Weasley as a man working in law enforcement getting your best mate arrested on his stag night is really creative’

Ron stood up and bowed deeply promptly falling flat on his face and causing the others to once again fall about laughing.

*******************************************************************

Twenty minutes later the police car Harry was riding in arrived out the front of a Police station with ‘Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department Downtown Precinct’ emblazoned on the outside.

‘Okay Frenchy lets get you inside and booked in’ The arresting officer said in amusement helping Harry out of the car.

With his cheeks burning and other officers openly laughing at him Harry allowed himself to be led inside up a small set of steps ad to a booking desk.

‘Allo 'allo 'allo what do we 'ave ‘ere then?’ The woman behind the desk said in a bad cockney accent as Harry was brought up to the desk.

‘Drunk in a public place and indecent exposure’ The officer who had arrested Harry said with a snort ‘Stag night gone wrong’

‘That’s the understatement of the fucking millennium’ Harry muttered.

The booking officer laughed.
‘Okay sunshine lets get you booked in and placed in one of our comfortable cells’ She said steering Harry behind the desk ‘Thanks Lew se ya later’

Harry was fingerprinted twice ad had his mugshot taken three times before he was given a pair of bright orange overalls with ‘L.V.M.P.D’ printed o the back and led into a singular cell.

‘You’re lucky tonight pal the group cell is full’ The booking officer said with a grin ‘Got anyone we can ring for you?’

‘Nah I’ll just wait for my attorney to get here’ Harry said dryly.

‘Righto just so you know it may be a while it’s busy tonight’

‘Take your time I’m not going anywhere’ Harry said dryly.

‘Ah you’re a funny one’

*******************************************************************

The door was locked behind Harry and he went to lay down on the thin mattress provided. He then spent the next two hours thinking of ways to slowly torture his friends when he eventually got back to the hotel. He was on the point of dozing off when the crack of apparition filled the cell and he fell off his bed in shock landing painfully on his bum. He looked up to see Ron standing there still dressed in his old school uniform.

‘You took your fucking time!” Harry hissed ‘Where the hell have you been?’

‘Back at the hotel with the other laughing ourselves stupid at you getting yourself arrested’ Ron said with a hearty snigger.

‘How the hell can you have been watching me all this time?’ Harry asked.

‘The Projection Charm you stupid great prat now get this on and let’s get out of here’ Ron said pulling a set of Gryffindor Hogwarts robes out from under his cloak.

‘They’re going to notice me missing you know’ Harry said pulling off his overalls and pulling on some underpants.

‘Nah they’re not I’ve modified the memories of all the people you have been in contact with and wiped any trace of your arrest from their records’ Ron said as Harry pulled on his trousers ‘I had to cast an disillusionment charm on myself to do it properly’

‘This is fucking hilarious you know getting me fucking arrested on my stag night’ Harry said pulling his socks on ‘Your Mum and Gin would blast you into the second hereafter if they knew’

‘Oh I have no doubt they’ll find out eventually but you have to admit it has spiced up your evening quite a bit’ Ron said with a laugh as Harry did up his laces.

‘Oh yeah more spice than a fucking Hogwarts feast’ Harry said dryly standing up and pulling the shirt Ron had brought on ‘Where are the other bastards? I want to torture them all slowly for disapparating on me like that’

‘They’re a couple of blocks away near a tattoo parlour’ Ron said ‘Seamus reckons it’s the time of night where we ought to get a permanent memory of this night’

‘Oh and getting me arrested for drunk and disorderly and indecent exposure isn’t a permanent memory?’ Harry said with a raised eyebrow tucking his shirt in.

‘Yeah it’s pretty significant I suppose’ Ron said with a grin ‘It’s something we can reminisce about in later years in any case’

‘Fuck off you will NOT!’ Harry exclaimed knotting his tie ‘It would be great form if someone like Rita Skeeter found out’

‘Oh sod off Harry no one’s going to tell Rita Skeeter’ Ron said in amusement ‘None of your close friends tells that hag anything’

‘I know I wasn’t really serious’ Harry said pulling the jumper over his head ‘So what have you lot been doing for the past two and a half hours?’

‘Watching you squirm and playing chess and gobstones’ Ron said ‘George wanted to keep drinking but Seamus didn’t think it would be fair to drink without you’

‘Oh isn’t that charitable of him the fucking little leprechaun’ Harry said sarcastically pulling on his robes ‘Where the hells my wand?’ I tried apparating back to the hotel but fell flat on my arse’

Ron laughed.
‘I know we saw that’ He said with a grin reaching into his robes and pulling out Harry’s Holly and Phoenix feather wand ‘Here you go’

‘You know it’s only because you’re my best mate and I know you don’t mean to hurt me mortally that I’m not hexing your arse right now don’t you?’ Harry said straightening his robes ‘Shall we go?’

‘Yup but you’re going to have to side along with me’ Ron said holding out his arm ‘The others will be keen to see how you’re getting on’

‘You mean they care? Harry said with a raised eyebrow grasping Ron’s upper arm.

Ron laughed and with a crack disapparated taking Harry with him. They appeared a second later un-noticed in a deserted side street. They straightened their robes and set off toward the bustling centre of Reno.

‘You know one day I’d quite like to come here sober’ Harry said dryly as they left the deserted side street and headed left ‘I’m not entirely sure I’m going to remember much of this trip’

Ron let out a snort.
‘That’s part of the beauty of a stag night mate’ He said with a grin ‘I mean it’s only ever going to happen once so why now make it a memorable occasion?’

‘I suppose so but you realise when you and Hermione get married I am going to make your stag night just the same’ Harry said ‘But my idea of fun might be a little more excruciating’

‘Well I suppose I’ve got that to look forward to haven’t I? Ron said brightly clapping Harry on the back with a grin.

A moment later Harry and Ron turned a corner into a street that seemed only to have Tattoo parlours and strip joints in it and were immediately spied with the rest of the group. They surrounded Harry and cheered loudly ruffling his hair which was still neon pink.

‘Have fun Harry?’ Seamus said with a grin ‘We thought you might like a little respite before we really hit the town’

‘A little respite?’ Harry exclaimed ‘A little respite? Are you fucking mental? I was arrested you fucking great leprechaun’

Seamus roared with laughter.

‘Who’s idea was it?’ Harry asked staring around at his group of friends his hands on his hips in mock anger.

While the rest of his friend burst into a fresh round of laughter Harry noticed Mr Weasley went red as the setting sun and avoided his eyes.

‘It was you? He exclaimed incredulously inadvertently dropping his fake anger ‘Arthur Weasley you amaze me!’

‘It amazed the hell out of us too’ Neville said with a grin ‘But Ron, Dean, Seamus and I thought it was rather creative so we went for it’

‘How did you know a cop would be walking around at that particular moment to nick me?’ Harry asked.

‘We didn’t but we figured if we left you half naked in a highly populated area for long enough once was bound to come along sooner or later’ Dean said with a grin ‘Las Vegas is one of the most visited cities in the United States and has a decent sized police force we figure there’d be some out on patrol’

‘You’re all mental!’ Harry sad dryly ‘Okay now what?’

‘We’re heading in there’ Neville said pointing to a nearby tattoo and body piercing parlour called ‘Ink Pit Tattooing and Piercing’.

‘Great now you can get your dick pierced’ Harry said to Draco as they entered the parlour ‘I got into a tutu and tiara’

‘I suppose I’ve got to hold up my end of the bargain’ Draco said who now looked like he was regretting his earlier dare.

‘You look like you’re wussing out Malfoy, scared?’ Ron said with a grin.

‘Me scared Weasley? No way’ Draco said drawing himself up.

‘I might get it done again’ Neville said amazing everyone present.

‘You’re mental’ Percy said from a few feet away where he was looking at a sheet of dragon designs stuck on the wall.

‘Nah he’s drunk’ Harry said with a grin ‘I know what I’m going to get done’

‘Already?’ Oliver asked in surprise.

‘Yeah well I have spent the last two and a half hours in a police cell thinking loads of things amongst of which is what design to get’ Harry said making his way toward the counter.

‘So what is it a Blast Ended Skrewt?’

‘Ha ha no just the Gryffindor Crest. I quite like it and I got the Hogwarts crest done on the first anniversary of the end of the war’ Harry said ‘And on Neville’s stag night I got a Hungarian Horntail on my back with the tail curled around my side. You might’ve seen it when the other ganged up on me and removed all my clothes and dressed me up as a fucking drag queen’

‘Can’t say I did’ Oliver said with a grin ‘I am drunk you know Harry’

‘No fucking dar’ Harry said rolling his eyes ‘Okay come on you wusses I’ve put up with some pain and humiliation tonight it’s your turn to experience it’

*******************************************************************

Three hours later the group left the tattoo parlour each with a new tattoo and piercing each. Bill, Charlie, Percy, George, Ron, Seamus, Dean, Neville, Oliver, Gordon, Mr Weasley and Harry all got a Gryffindor crest tattoo and Draco and Larry got a Slytherin and Ravenclaw tattoo representing the houses they had been in at school.

‘Pity we don’t have a Hufflepuff in the group or we’d have a matching set’ Harry said as they left the parlour ‘Congratulations Arthur you now have some downstairs silverware though I think Molly would prefer not to polish it’

Bill, Charlie, Percy, George and Ron fell about laughing.

‘Aw you never know Harry depends what mood she’s in’ Bill said with a drunken giggle ‘None of us live at the Burrow anymore and she’s got a bit more time on her hands maybe polishing Dad’s silverware will keep her occupied’

‘If that happens there’ll be more Weasley kids in a few years’ Charlie said elbowing his father (Who was now boiling red in embarrassment) in the ribs.

‘Oh will you lot stop talking about me as if I weren’t here?’ Mr Weasley exclaimed ‘I am actually here you know’

‘We know Dad’ George said shaking his father’s hand ‘Congratulations you performed the ultimate act of Gryffindor bravery’

‘I think Harry has the monopoly on that title you git’ Ron muttered ‘I think saving the wizarding world is slightly more significant than getting a ring through one’s cock’

George burst into a fit of girly giggles and that set everyone else off even Percy the most conservative member of the group.

‘So now it’s three am what do we do now?’ Harry asked.

‘Lets head over there’ Neville said pointing across the street where a club called ‘The Platinum Pussy’ was advertised ‘Sounds like a nice place to spend and Harry you need a lap dance’

‘You need a lobotomy’ Harry said as they took advantage of a break in the traffic and made their way across the road.

*******************************************************************

Several hours later after frequenting all four wizarding casinos in Las Vegas and making a lightning trip to New York to Party at The Stone Age nightclub George knew of Harry supported by a barely less drunk Bill, Charlie, Percy, George, Neville, Seamus, Dean, Ron, Larry Gordon, Oliver, Draco and Mr Weasley staggered out of yet another wizarding club and winced as the morning sun poked them hard in the eyes.

‘Letcsh go back to the hotel pleasche!’ Harry pleaded ‘I can’t schtay up any longer I schwear I can’t’

‘How are we going to get back to the hotel?’ Charlie groaned rubbing his face ‘We’re all too pissed to apparate’

‘Letsch find a schide schtreet and summon a car from the hotel’ Seamus said swaying slightly on his feet ‘We’re too far to walk’

After wandering aimlessly for about fifteen minutes the group was led into a deserted street. Seamus drew himself up and performed the same star wand movement he had when they’d arrived in Las Vegas, a moment later a limousine appeared out of thin air and the same driver who had picked them up from the portkey arrival point got out.

‘You boys finally finished for the night eh?’ He said with a chuckle opening the door with a flick from his wand.

‘I could’ve gone home hoursch ago’ Harry groaned sliding into the first seat ‘I am going to die I know it!’

‘Chin up Harry!’ Dean said with a grin pushing Harry across the long back seat of the car ‘Don’t pass out just yet’

‘I’m not schure I’m going to be able to do that mhate’ Harry groaned resting his forehead against the cool glass of the nearest window ‘I feel like schit’

‘You look like schit...hic’ Ron slurred slumping into his seat.

‘Oh Gee thanksh’ Harry replied feeling the beginnings of a booming hangover in his head ‘It’s all your fault you know. I would never willingly get myschelf in thisch situation...hic’

Mr Weasley was the last one to get into the limousine and grinned like a little kid as the driver shut the door behind them.

‘I have had fun!” He announced loudly ‘We muscht do it again schum time!’

Everyone groaned.

‘Arthur puh-leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze don’t yell!’ Oliver pleaded ‘My head nearly fell off’

That comment got Harry giggling shrilly like a little girl.

‘Whitch one?’ He slurred through a hiccup ‘If it’s the one downstairsch Leesh won’t be very happy...haahahahahahahaha!’

Seamus conjured a pillow from thin air and threw it at Harry.

‘Harry shut up’ He moaned rubbing his face ‘I have a heard of Hippogriffs dancing in my head’

‘I have every animal we ever studied in Care Of Magical Creatures dancing in my head’ Harry countered as the limousine started forward ‘And the Hippogriffs are starring with a fucking can can chorus line’

*******************************************************************

The next thing Harry new he was in the group’s hotel room and being put into his bed by Ron and Mr Weasley.

‘We’re back already?’ He said groggily.

‘Mate you passed out’ Ron said flicking his wand so Harry’s clothing disappeared from his body and reappeared on his bedside table in a messy pile ‘You passed out on Neville’s lap’

Harry heard Mr Weasley chuckle from somewhere nearby.
‘I did?’ He said climbing under the covers,

‘Yeah but Neville passed out on Oliver who in turn passed out on Seamus I got pictures of you all’

‘You had a camera?’ Harry asked in drunken surprise.

‘Of course I’ve had one all night shrunk in my pocket of course. There’s pictorial records of our night on the town'

‘Oh fucking great’ Harry said making a face ‘Is anyone awake now?’

‘Hell no Bill, Charlie, Perce and George could only manage getting in the door before fainting. They’re still on the parlour floor. Oliver and Larry have passed out on the lounge and Dean, Seamus and Neville have collapsed on the floor just over there’

Harry’s vision took a while to focus on Neville, Dean and Seamus who was as Ron said passed out cold in their Hogwarts uniforms on the floor next to their beds.

‘Malfoy has passed out on the floor in front of the bar where George put our stock of Hangover Draught he was in the process of getting himself a measure when he dropped like a stone and Dad and I are here’

‘Have you had any Hangover Draught?’ Harry asked sinking into the warmth of the cotton sheets.

‘Yeah both Dad and I managed to drink enough to start getting you lot in bed’ Ron said kicking off his shoes ‘The minute everyone is in their own beds we’re going to do some passing out of our own. I thought we ripped it up when we took Neville out for his stag night but I have to admit Harry you party a hell of a lot harder. I wouldn’t be surprised if all of wizarding Las Vegas was dry because of you’

Harry rolled his eyes then winced at the resulting dizzy spell.
‘Ha ha’ He croaked ‘Speaking of Hangover Draught can I have a measure before you two pass out? I don’t want to wake up feeling like a Hippogriff has danced on my head’

‘You probably will anyway considering how much alcohol you’ve drunk’ Mr Weasley said pocketing his wand ‘But I’ll get you some, best to lessen the symptoms at the very least'

Mr Weasley left the room and Ron set about levitating Neville into his bed.

‘I never thought I’d see Malfoy pass out’ He said to Harry flicking his wand once then twice so Neville simultaneously lost his clothes and was moved under the bed covers ‘He was literally mid sentence watching Dad and I levitate you into your bed when he hit the floor. If it weren’t for Dad I would’ve dropped you I was laughing so hard’

Ron had managed to levitate Neville. Dean and Seamus into their beds and was taking off his outer robes when Mr Weasley returned with a pint of the purple Hangover Draught.

‘That ought to get you a decent night’s sleep’ He said to Harry with a grin handing him the glass ‘I can’t guarantee you’ll feel fine and dandy when you wake up though’

‘Cheers’ Harry said taking a swig of the potion then swallowing and feeling the effects course through his body instantaneously ‘Ah that’s a start’

‘I suppose we better start getting the others in their beds’ Ron said after Harry had downed half of his potion measure ‘Wish they’d have passed out on their beds would’ve made things a lot easier’

‘You could just leave them on the floor’ Harry said wiping his upper lip which was slightly stained from the potion.

‘Nah I don’t want to be hexed in my bed’ Ron said getting to his feet and swaying on the spot ‘I’m never partying with you again Harry you’re lethal’

Harry grinned and lifted his glass to his best mate in a silent toast.
‘Cheers mate’

*******************************************************************

Harry woke hours later to the loud retching noises coming from the room’s ensuite. He looked out the window and by the dusky sky guessed it was early evening. He rolled over and noticed one bed was empty the source of the retching being Neville.

‘PIPE DOWN LONGBOTTOM I CAN HEAR YOU FROM IN HERE!’ Bellowed Draco from the next room banging on the wall with a closed fist.

‘FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!’ Came the response followed by a loud splattering noise.

Harry sat up and with his head pounding he got up and pulled on a pair of trousers. He pulled his toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste from his bag then made his way to the bathroom to find Neville had cleaned up but was still crouched over the toilet his face a chalk white.

‘Gawd you look like shit’ He said by way of greeting.

‘Gee ta Harry thanks’ Neville groaned slumping against the bathroom cabinet ‘God my head hurts no one in a thousand years past or a thousand years in the future will ever party as hard as we did’

‘Wait til Ron proposes to Hermione and we take him out on his stag night’ He said with a laugh squirting toothpaste onto his toothbrush.

‘I don’t think I could have another night like last night for another ten years’ Neville said getting up carefully ‘Or at all and quite possibly it could be the only stag night I could go to ever again’

‘I don’t think it was that bad’ Harry said poking his toothbrush in his mouth ‘But it was pretty full on I don’t know if I’m going to be sober enough for the United game against the Catapults on Saturday I reckon I’ve got enough booze in my system to last me to Christmas’

Neville sniggered.
‘Any of the others up? He asked.

‘Just you and me in our room and I’m guessing my Draco’s yell just now everyone else on the other room'

After he’d brushed his teeth Harry had a long shower and washed his hair. He entered the man part of the suite fully dressed and feeling considerably better half a hour later to find everyone else gathered around the lounge area looking less than refreshed.

‘God you all look like death warmed up’ He said with a laugh heading for the jug of Hangover Draught that rested upon the nearby bar.

‘We feel like death warmed up’ Percy croaked.

‘You had any Draught?’ Harry asked.

‘No it took all our energy to crawl out of bed’ George said ‘Neville now I know how you felt on your stag night when you and the others turned up to the shop’

‘Mate that night was nothing compared to last night’ Neville said dryly ‘I was sober compared to last night’s theatrics’

‘Here you go drink this before you all pass out again’ Harry said a few minutes later handing each member of the group a pint glass of the Hangover Draught.

There was silence for several moments as each member of the group consumed the potion.

‘So how are we getting back to England?’ Harry asked swirling the remaining Hangover Draught in his glass.

‘Portkey’ Seamus said ‘ten o’clock local time tomorrow night we’ll arrive home mid afternoon. That’ll be enough time for you quidditch nerds to sleep off ay remaining alcohol in your system before the game on Saturday’

‘By ten o’clock tomorrow night there’s not going to be any alcohol in my system’ Gordon groaned after swallowing a particularly large mouthful of the Draught ‘I’m only going to drink coffee and coke for the rest of out stay here. In fact I’m seriously considering becoming a teetotaller. My system can’t cope with another night like that again’

‘Whinger’ Harry said ‘Drink up your entire potion that’ll cleanse your system’

‘Yes Mum’

‘Wanker’

There was silence as the men tried recalling the previous evening’s activities.

‘I know we all feel like shit but gee it was a good night wasn’t it?’ Seamus said with a wide grin ‘I don’t remember a lot about it but Harry I do recall you got arrested by a muggle police officer’

Harry rolled his eyes.
‘Oh yeah that’s one thing I do remember’ He said dryly ‘That was the highlight of my evening too. Up to this point in my professional life I worked in Law Enforcement. And for the first time ever I was fucking arrested. I wouldn’t be surprised if the wizarding authorities here knew I was in the clink’

‘Nah they wouldn’t you’re not a registered wizard in America and we didn’t enter the country via the ministry so we’re not registered with their immigration and tourism department’ Percy said ‘If we had flooed in and not taken a Portkey they’d have us registered. I’m pretty sure of that anyway’

‘So what are we doing for the rest for our trip here? Harry asked Ron, Dean, Seamus and Neville ‘We’ve got a whole day left and I’m not spending it drinking. I’ve drunk enough to last the rest of my life’

‘We could just wander about town I suppose’ Ron said ‘We haven’t actually planned anything’

‘Well I plan on getting something to eat I’m fucking starving’ Oliver said ‘Isn’t there a restaurant downstairs?’

‘Damn that pooncy place you want to try this burger bar on the next block’ Draco said ‘A greasy burger and chips is the only food for a hangover’

‘You sound like you’ve had a lot of practice knowing what’s the best treatment for a hangover Malfoy’ Oliver said with a grin.

‘Not recently but in the past I have’ Draco replied finishing off his measure of Hangover Draught ‘So do you lot feel up to going out again?’

‘If it doesn’t involve any more alcohol I’m up for just about anything’ Harry said.

*******************************************************************

Within an hour Harry’s stag party group left the hotel and made their way over to the next block and into the burger bar Draco had previously mentioned. They each ordered the biggest greasiest meal they could and sat outdoors to eat.

‘Are you going to have those photos you took of the night processed or are you going to show some discretion and hex the camera to dust?’ Harry asked Ron as he sucked down a mouthful of root beer.

George snorted.
‘Ronald doesn’t have any discretion’ He said with a grin.

‘Fuck off’ Ron said ‘I’m going to get them processed Harry but I’ll get Dennis Creevy to do it. I think you can trust him not to spread them about’

‘Then can we have a ritualistic burning?’

Ron laughed.
‘If you like’ He said ‘But I want to keep the one of you in your French Maid’s apron and the one of Dad with your tiara on’

‘You took a picture of that?’ Mr Weasley yelped.

‘Dad I took loads of photos’ Ron said ‘Nothing pornographic or anything that will cause Mum to hex you’

‘What about Gin?’ Harry asked

‘And Leesh?’ Oliver piped up

‘And Hannah?’ Neville added ‘I remember at some point wearing Harry’s tiara too and I don’t want my missus seeing me in that’

‘Calm down lads I didn’t take any incriminating photo’s Ron said ‘For a start you weren’t in any incriminating circumstances and even if you were I wouldn’t have recorded it. Never fear all the photos were just of a bunch of mates having a good night out’

‘Good because if any of them were dodgy we’d hex your balls off never mind Granger doing it’ Draco said.

‘Okay I propose a toast’ Seamus said getting to his feast’

‘Another one?’ Harry groaned ‘Last time I took part in a toast I got so drunk I passed out’

‘This one isn’t alcoholic’ Seamus said with a grin ‘Though we could partake in a farewell Las Vegas one just before we catch the portkey home tonight’

‘No thanks I’ve had enough booze’

‘Get on with it’ Neville, Dean and Ron chorused.

‘Well Harry you’ve survived the special brand of entertainment your mates dished out’ Seamus said lifting his cup of root beer to Harry ‘And you survived. That itself deserves an Order of Merlin First Class...’

‘He already has one’ Ron interrupted.

‘Shut up Ron...anyway Harry from here it’s a more sedate and refined march down the aisle to marital bliss. From now on it’s all about you and Ginny here’s to you’

‘To Harry!’

‘Thanks guys that means a lot to me’ Harry said ‘And thanks for not killing me’

‘Harry that’s one thing we weren’t going to do’ George said lifting his cup to Harry in a silent toast ‘We had poetic license with every thing else’

‘Poetic license as far as not wanting your Mum or sister to hex you into dust?’ Harry said with a grin.

George blushed.
‘Yeah that’s about right’

*******************************************************************

At ten to ten that evening Harry joined the others in a downstairs room of the hotel used for portkey departures. This time the portkey returning them to England was a muggle walking stick resting on a sidetable.

‘Congratulations Harry you survived’ Ron said with a grin as they gathered around the portkey ‘You’re a tough bastard’

‘Yeah tougher than many of us gave you credit for’ Charlie said with a grin ‘Though if you can defeat a dark lord you can out up with a night out with us’

‘Both took a lot of energy’ Harry said with a grin hoisting his backpack over his shoulder ‘Though I drank less during the last battle. There wasn’t much time to nick off for a quick tipple and Firewhiskey tends to be thin on the ground at Hogwarts’

Ron sniggered.

Right on the dot of 10PM the portkey activated and collectively the group left Las Vegas and headed home. It was now two days before Harry and Ginny were to get married and as the portkey dragged them through nothingness Harry thought the sixteenth couldn’t come fast enough.

*******************************************************************