Custody Battle

“I won’t have him here another minute!” Blake shouted. The children had been sent back to bed, charms placed over the windows, and the doors had been warded, towels on the floor at the seam of the door to prevent extendable ears. Hermione stood between them, her back to Severus, her chest pressed against her husband’s. The fear that the two men would break into a full out brawl still hung heavy in the air. She’d taken Severus’ wand as well.

“We’ve got two days left.” She said, eyes firmly fixed on him. There had to be a way to fix what she’d broken in order to hold her family together. Her eyes were pleading, practically begging him.

“What do you expect me to do, Hermione?” His voice was angry but distinctly hurt as well. “Am I just supposed to pretend like it didn’t happen? Is that what you expect?” He raked his hand through his hair, taking a step back. He began to pace. “Am I just supposed to slap on a smile and carry on with the kids, and you and him like we’re one big happy family?”

She rushed to his side, clutching his arm. Her touch was gentle, like she had never abandoned her duties as his wife. “For the kids,” she whispered, leaning her cheek against his sleeve. A tear trickled down her face as he pulled away not daring to look at her.

“Yes, for the kids.” His face went pale. “Tell me, Hermione, when you were on your back, running your fingers through his hair, tell me, were you doing it for the kids?”

Severus had remained very quiet. His face was emotionless, but his stance was firm. There was little he could say that would help the situation, and far too much that would only make things worse, so he remained silent. He found great difficulty in tearing his eyes from Hermione. Something inside of him yearned to help her, to reach out and provide her a form of comfort. It frightened him, the instinct unnatural to him and the internal struggle to repress or act upon it had him feeling almost queasy.

Blake sighed. He turned slowly to face her, eyes heavy, deep set and sunk, looking older than he should have. Extending his arms, palms up to Hermione, he took her hands in his and stepped closer to her. “I could do it,” he said. There was a pause as he gazed deep into her eyes. “I could put on the happy face, and finish this vacation with him, with you, with our children. I could get up tomorrow morning and walk side by side with him right into Star Tours, each of us carrying the twins and you with Emma just behind us, I could.”

Her eyes seemed to flicker, a brief light of hope dancing in their reflection. She gave his hands a squeeze and parted her lips to speak, but he shook his head. Like a crestfallen child, her eyes died.

“I could…if I thought it was just sex.”

“Blake—”

“Hermione, don’t.” He let her hands go. “You share a child, I understand that, and we share four, but the way you look at him? I’ve seen it in your eyes, when they wander over to him when you think I’m not looking, Hermione, I have. And that look, that twinkle, I know it, I do, because it’s the way you used to look at me.”

“Blake…” her eyes were nearly filled with tears. She hadn’t cried so much in all her life, but Hermione couldn’t help herself.

“I could forgive you for being physically unfaithful I didn’t marry you for your cunt.” His crude words made her shudder and Severus took notice. She needed a shoulder to cry on, a chest to fall against and he couldn’t help but feel that he had to be that comfort. But her husband’s words froze him to the spot. “But I could never forgive your adulterous heart.” Hermione swallowed hard, the tears flowing over the rims of her eyelids.

“Blake,” she sniffled, placing both trembling hands on his shoulders. “We can work this out, I don’t love him,” she turned her eyes to Severus as she spoke. “It was a mis—”

A finger fell against her lips and she turned her eyes to him, blinking, tears streaking down her cheeks. “Look me straight in the eye…” he tilted her chin up and gazed deeply into her eyes. “Hermione, look me straight in the eye and tell me you don’t love him.”

Severus felt the hairs on the back of his neck standing straight up. He’d faced down killing Albus Dumbledore, without the foreknowledge that the powerful wizard would rise easily from the grave, and he’d dealt with it. He’d led the life of a spy, a servant to two masters, he’d come to face his past as a raping, murdering, torturer in the service of Voldemort and survived his guilt. He had even come to accept that he had sired a child, a daughter no less, and was learning to cope with his role as a father in her life. But hearing words of expressed love from Hermione was something he simply wasn’t ready for and couldn’t accept.

“I…” she started, lips quivering. “I…”

“Hemrione,” Blake said, eyes blazing into hers.

She broke down into sobs, shoulders shaking, eyes unable to leave his. “I can’t! I can’t!” His hands fell back from her, his eyes closing as he bowed his head. “I’m sorry, Blake,” her arms reached out to clutch his arm but he pulled away. “Blake,” she whimpered.

She couldn’t take it back and her head swam with dizziness. Blake would not bring his eyes to her, only turning his back to her, retreating to their bedroom. He shut the door. Hermione did not need to hear the click of the lock to confirm her fears. Her frantic eyes turned to Severus, blinking back more tears at his impassive face. Two steps forward and she cringed as he took a step back. “Severus—”

“No.” he said. He held his hand up to her. “You don’t—”

“I do.”

He paused. “I don’t. I can’t.” He shook his head, quelling a potential vocal protest as her lips pursed. “It’s not something I can accept. You love your husband, you told me so yourself and you’re foolish to think you have similar feelings for me.” Severus drew in a steady breath. “You’ve a family with him, and yes we have a daughter, and yes I will always be there for her, but I cannot be there for you.” He drew in a breath, staring straight through her. “You’ve gone and mucked up your marriage…” he turned his back to her. “And I’m sorry for playing a part in that.”

Her knees were quaking, hand just barely finding the arm of the chair before she fell back into it. “Severus—”

“You should have sent me to Azkaban that night.” He said softly. Severus pushed his bedroom door shut, leaving Hermione alone in the common room.

She all but collapsed, head falling into her knees as she sobbed. “Mum?” Caterina’s voice floated from the doorframe of the far bedroom door. The girl had somehow managed to crack the wards. “Mum?” Hermione sniffled, slowly lifting her head from her lap, teary red eyes turning to her daughter. The girl walked over and climbed into her mother’s lap, slinging her arms around her mother’s neck. “Mum, what’s going to happen to us?”

“I don’t know, sweetheart,” she sniffled, hugging the girl tightly. “I don’t know.”