Dearest Harry - Eileen's Story

Thanks to Branny and Anne for betaing

Chapter Twenty One

“Fucking Hell, that was awesome! Good old Harry!” Ron exclaimed as soon as Eileen had closed the door behind her on her way out.

“Ronald!” Molly shrieked, “How can you say such a thing! We have just discovered that Harry is a Horcrux; that he might die, have some respect!”

Ron blushed, but he tightened his jaw and turned to his mother.

“Look Mum,” he said, “this thing about Horcruxes, it might be a revelation to you, but me and Hermione have known since the first week of July. Hermione worked it out, but Harry was hardly surprised. It’s as if he’d always known, he said, he could feel the thing inside him, the darkness. But he wouldn’t share it, he shut himself off and that isn’t healthy. I’m just glad you all know now, so you can help him, cause I sure as Hell didn’t know what to do!”

Hermione was sobbing, a heartbreaking sound. Her head was resting on the table top, cushioned by her folded arms.

Severus realised at last what these children had gone through in recent weeks. They had known for a month and they had not been able to talk to anyone because they had made a promise. One that against all odds they had kept. With this new information several things were suddenly clear to him. The small improvements in the fabric of Grimmauld Place, the clean walls, the brighter colours, it was obvious now, Harry was trying to make a home. The recklessness too made sense. Harry believed that he had to die and he was desperately trying to grasp the last little bit of life before he did. His heart ached for the boy, it truly did. Yet Harry had sought no pity from anyone had he? He had tried to carry on despite his fears, believing Circe knew what about himself and his value to the world.

Severus longed to sit down with the boy and have a proper talk, without accusations flying, without mistrust and dislike. Harry was his flesh and blood, and Severus would be damned before he would lose the boy now. For the first time, he finally admitted to himself that he had come to care for Harry, and that he was not prepared to lose him.

He cursed Albus’ meddling. The old fool should have told the children that the Weasleys were safe to talk to, because then Harry wouldn’t have had to deal with all the shite that he had to deal with on his own. Who could be safer than them after all? They were loyal to the side of light and had been for years. Molly would die before giving any information to the Dark Lord. After the deaths of Fabien and Gideon, her beloved brothers she would see him in Hell before she told him anything. Arthur, the boys, with the exception of Percy the prig, they all felt the same didn’t they? They loved Harry it was obvious and who could blame them? At long last Severus truly admitted to himself that Harry was, beyond doubt, worthy of their love and respect, it was more a question Severus suspected of whether they in turn were worthy of him.

He and Albus had argued about it for months, the secrecy. Albus had loved the boy too, there was no doubt about that, but he was an old man, 150 years old, he had no children of his own, no grandchildren. He had less understanding of how things were for Harry than he should have done; than any one of the people gathered around the table did at least.

In Albus’ mind, Harry was a hero, a champion of the light ready to battle against darkness. And he had been right in many ways, Harry was brave and resourceful and determined and all the things that a hero should be. But he was also little more than a child. A child who had had to grow up too soon, who had never really known love from anyone and yet who had such a giving heart. To abandon the boy, as Albus had, to nothing but the support of two more children was truly unforgivable.

“We must help him.” Severus said into the silence.

Everyone seated at the table turned to look at him. Bill was there, his once handsome face ravished, and Fleur who held his hand tight in her own, tears glittering on her cheeks. Arthur was holding Molly and stroking her hair, her face was buried against his robes and she was sobbing too. Remus was white, shocked, horrified by what he had heard. Ron, Hermione, Ginny and Draco, pale and un-nerved. The twins had gone early, before Harry had arrived in the kitchen that morning and Tonks was nowhere to be seen today. Other Order members were also elsewhere right now; these people were the core of the fight against the Dark Lord, but they were also the ones who truly cared about Harry and not some phantom hero. They had witnessed his healing of Eileen, they knew about the family relationship between him and the boy and now they had seen his amazing animagus form.

All of Harry’s secrets were exposed at last and perhaps finally he would get the support he needed.

“I have been so wrong about him,” Severus continued, “I thought he was like his father, but I was wrong. Oh he has James’ bravery, he is a gallant Gryffindor all right, but there is so much more to the child than that. I keep failing with him, I know what I want to say, but it comes out wrong, twisted. But we need to help him, my mother is right. We all need to help and protect him. We cannot lose him now.”

He couldn’t look at anyone as he spoke. The words that he had used to berate Harry still echoed around the room. They were tangible and he could not call them back.

“I agree, Severus.” It was Lupin who spoke. He was standing behind Severus and he placed a hand on his shoulder to comfort him. Just an hour ago, he would have shuddered with revulsion at the werewolf’s touch, but now he found himself leaning into that support, seeking consolation.

“The last couple of weeks have been a constant stream of revelations. Harry’s dreadful childhood, and the prejudices that he has had to face, his relationship with Eileen and Severus, the Horcruxes and Harry’s connection with them and now the awesome power that Harry seems to wield. I have never seen anything quite so magnificent as the healing of Eileen, or an animagus as fabulous as that one.” His voice cracked, “Sirius and James would have been so proud of him.”

“Don’t beat yourself up Severus. You have done more for him in recent weeks than anyone has ever done from what I can see. But it’s not enough. I think that Harry is drowning; we need to help him, all of us. Thank Merlin for Eileen; she is one adult that I think he is beginning to trust, one who has never given him cause to doubt her.”

“But we need to help him too. He deserves our support and he needs to be shown that it is there. When he comes downstairs we must assure him that we will always support him, always be there for him.”

“I don’t think he’ll believe you.” Draco spoke this time. The boy was obviously uncomfortable, he sat just beside Ron and his body language showed that he was deeply distressed by the other boy’s presence, but Ron’s features betrayed nothing but openness; he was another proud Gryffindor who wore his heart on his sleeve. Guile and misdirection were two traits that seemed totally unknown to the redhead.

But Draco was ploughing on with what he had to say, eyes staring fixedly at the table, hands clasped firmly in his lap. “I thought that when I got here I’d be hated, that you would all ignore me and push me away and you did a bit. But he didn’t do that. He gave me clothes and he talked to me and he touched me without being disgusted. Even though I have become what I am, he didn’t seem to care. But last night…..last night I was so scared, so lonely and he came to me and he stayed.”

“When he came into my cell, that wonderful lion and held me and protected me I couldn’t believe it. What he did was incredible, an animagus, first go too. A few months ago I’d have hated him for that; I’d have thought he was showing off; I always thought that. But the thing is, that he doesn’t seem to think he’s worth anything at all, he thought that I ….” He stopped here and blushed to the roots of his hair, “he thought that we….that it was a thank you, that he’d forced me. He really does have no idea how…well what he is like, how fucking fabulous he is.”

He lifted his head up and looked directly at Ron. “I know you hate me, I’ve done some really nasty things to you in the past, you and the Mu…Hermione and to Harry. But he has been there when nobody else was, when I thought I was all alone, and he didn’t owe me anything. I’ve never had that, that sort of friendship, not ever. I am not a very good person, but I’m loyal, I’d do anything for him now, anything.” The last word was barely whispered

Ron seemed choked up too.

“Listen mate,” he said, “As far as I’m concerned you have always been a nasty, spineless little shit.” Molly drew in a sharp breath when Ron spoke, but Arthur shushed her and Ron continued, “But I think that Harry has fallen for you. I’ve seen the way he’s been looking at you these last couple of days. I’ve known him since I was eleven, and I’ve not always been the best of mates, but I love Harry like a brother. I always thought that it would be him and Gin, and he would become my brother, but Ginny put an end to that.” This time it was Ginny’s turn to blush and look away, “That ain’t ever going to happen now though is it?”

“But me and Hermione want him to be happy, to find someone, to not die.” Ron’s voice was breaking now, and Severus wondered at the strength of this boy, him and his girlfriend who had been doing their best to support their friend against unspeakable odds.

“You be good to Harry and as far as I’m concerned the slate is clean and we start again. But if you hurt him, then I will fucking hunt you down and your death will not be pretty, that I promise

Draco blanched, but he met Ron’s eyes without flinching. “I love him,” he said, “I love him with all of my heart and I think that deep down I have loved him for a very long time.”

The kitchen was completely silent at that statement; no one seemed able to speak.

In the stillness they heard the sound of voices, a Yorkshire burr and a quiet answering mumble. Eileen had done it; she had brought Harry back downstairs to face them all.

Severus’ heart went out to the boy, and he found that he admired him all over again. To come back here after all his secrets had been so spectacularly spilled truly showed his courage, in Severus’ opinion. The door opened and Harry and Eileen walked in. Eileen had the boy’s hand clutched tight in her own. “…..can’t take the views of a few prejudiced Muggles as representative of magical opinion, love.”

Harry stood still, looking at them all wide eyed like a petrified thestral. “Um…er...sorry about earlier.” He said, and the room sprang into life. Molly whirled round and rushed over to the cooker to carry on preparing breakfast, even though it was now mid-morning and would soon be time for lunch. Ron, Hermione and Remus all stood, ready to make their way over to him. But Draco got there first.

Eileen released her grandson’s hand and took a step backwards as Draco drew close and Harry looked at the other boy. What Ron had said about Harry’s feelings was apparent to Severus now too, in fact they must surely be apparent to them all. The look was so naked, so pregnant with need that it was all that Severus could do not to gasp out loud. If anyone had doubted that Harry had feelings for Draco, those doubts would have been shattered.

“Are you alright?” Draco asked with concern, he was standing with his back to Severus and he was taller than Harry by several inches but Severus could see his nephew clearly, “Are you okay Harry?”

Harry bit his lip, and nodded. “Is everyone okay?” He asked tentatively, “about us I mean, er…about me, about what I am?”

“Are they okay with the fact that you are a daft prick Potter, who should have known better than believe a bunch of stupidly prejudiced Muggles you mean?” Harry blushed, “Of course they are! Though they may have had some problems about it being me that you are involved with.”

“Yeah, Harry!” Ron shouted, “What’s wrong with redheads anyway? Charlie’s free right now; he’d have been delighted to take you on!”

If anything Harry’s blush got deeper, “Oh is Charlie um, er...gay then?” he stuttered, without looking at Ron.

“You didn’t think you were the only one did you Harry?” Draco was saying softly. Harry looked up at him and it was clear in his eyes, in his needy expression that he did think he was alone.

“What do you mean Draco?” He asked softly, “What do you mean about ‘our involvement’?”

“You don’t think that last night was a one off do you Harry?” Draco asked gently.

Harry looked away and shrugged.

“Dunno,” he said.

“Listen, you prat,” Draco continued, “I’ll have you know that despite my reputation I don’t just sleep with anyone.”

The look that Harry gave him this time was hopeful, shy and somewhat wistful.

“I care about you Harry, a lot. I want to be with you if you’ll have me?”

Harry’s eyes widened he looked stunned. But then Draco put his arms around the dark haired boy and held him close. And there in the still somewhat shabby kitchen of Grimmauld Place, surrounded by Harry’s friends and family. Draco kissed him.