TRYING TO REMEMBER

On July 8th 1999 Hope Artii, Wilhelmina, Percy, Georgina Weasley was born to the world. Tonks and Charlie couldn’t have looked any happier. Molly was beside herself, her first grandchild.

Everyone was there at the homecoming, Fred , Ron & Hermione, Ginny & Harry, Neville Longbottom, Minerva, who had recently came out of a coma, Kingsley, Remus & Sirius.

Sirius and Remus smiled at each other hoping that they too would be celebrating with their own children. Hermione had volunteered to carry the two boys and Ginny was going to be carrying Lily.

Hermione walked up to Remus and Sirius.

“I have some news for you two. The eggs are ready for fertilization. The werewolf DNA is gone from all the eggs. We just need a sampling from you Sirius.”

“I’ll give you a sample right here.”

“Sirius.”

“You know I only love you.”

“Lucky me.”

“Hey that almost sounded sarcastic.”

“Never, luv.”


On June 2, 2000 James Regulus, Albus Remus and Lily Emma Lupin Black were born into the world. Sirius went down to the Dai to tell Remus he was a dad. Even though it’s two weeks since the full moon Remus recoveries were taking longer. The only good news is that Remus last full moon would be in October instead of July.

The babies were christened in early July Harry and Ginny were Lily’s godparents, Ron and Hermione James’ and Tonks and Charlie Albus’. It was a beautiful day. Remus was feeling good and for a moment all was right with the world. When healthy Remus would spend every waking moment with the babies, which because there were three and all seemed to be on separate schedules it was almost every moment. There were times that Sirius caught Remus rocking one or two of the babies and tears would roll down his face knowing that he didn’t have much more time.

One night Remus and Sirius were lying in bed.

“I want to make arrangements for the last full moon.”

“Moony I really don’t want to talk about it.”

“But we need to. No Wolfsbane. I want Moony to have a last run with Padfoot. I want to renew our vows, just the two of us. I want to have a party to say goodbye.”

“Have you given up?”

“I told you I could be gasping my last breath and I wouldn’t give up. Hermione and I have scoured every inch of all the journals. Really quite disturbing you know. We cited every incantation but nothing worked. Hermione was starting to work her way backwards again, but I told her to stop.”

“Why.”

“It’s put a strain on her and Ron’s relationship. I won’t be the cause of their break-up. Harry and Fred are doing some research between shagging sessions.”

“What?”

“I went to Grimmauld Place earlier today and I thought I heard something so I went and took a peek. There was Fred with his dick up Harry’s ass and pumping Harry’s cock.”

“So the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Just like his godfather.”

Just then there was a cry. Then one cry turned to three.

“Let’s go. Why’d we have three again?”

Sirius leaned in and gave Remus a kiss as he grabbed James and Albus, while Remus grabbed Lily.

It was the night before the last full moon, and Remus was in with the babies that by some miracle were all sleeping. He brought the rocking chair

“Tomorrow night Da’s going away. It’s not because he doesn’t love you. He loves you so much. Maybe it was selfish of me to want a family knowing I couldn’t be here with you.” Remus was in tears “But I wouldn’t trade a second of it for the world. Please be kind to your father, he’s had a hard life and I have to say I don’t make it much easier. Take care of each other and I’ll always be watching over you and daddy. I love you.”

Remus walked out of the room and Sirius was waiting for him with open arms.

“You okay babe?”

Remus sobbed on Sirius shoulder and shook his head no.

“Shhh.” Sirius just held him tight “C’mer.”

Sirius led him to bed and they made love all night long. Taking a break only for the two o’clock feeding and nappie change.

“How you feeling, babe?”

“Like a train hit me.”

“Stay here I’ll get your potions.”

As Sirius was making up the potions we started sobbing knowing that this was the last time that he would be doing this. Sirius knew that Remus wanted this part a celebration of a life and not a mourning of his impending death. So he wiped his tears put on a brave face and took the last batch of potions he’d have to make to his love. When he got upstairs Remus was gone. He looked in the babies’ room and there he was rocking Lily.

“You’re going to be a heart breaker like your daddy. With the jet black hair and those blue eyes. Well if they stay blue. Da won’t be around if they change. Da won’t be around for a lot of things. Your first words, your first steps, first day of Hogwarts. That’s where I met Daddy. That’s where we fell in love. Twenty-five years later I love him more than I ever thought I could. Your first date, your wedding day, your children. I’ll be watching down at you and your brothers. Try not to be too hard on them even though I’m sure they’ll be berks, like we were growing up. Remember Lily baby even though I’m gone I’ll always be in your heart.”

Remus put Lily back and picked up Albus.

“Albus, your namesake has always been special to me. He was a great man who did powerful things. He allowed me, a werewolf, to attend Hogwarts where no other headmaster would let me. If it weren’t for him I would have never met your Daddy. I would never have had friends. Even until recently being a werewolf was a bad thing. Not that people don’t still have their prejudices, but at least I can live with children in the house now. Albus taught me to fight for what was right and what was good when I could have been so easily been Voldemort’s followers. One time they almost convinced me. I’ll be watching you from above my dear son. Don’t even try to live up to your namesake just be a good person and it will all fall into play as it should. Never forget that Da loves you.”


Remus put Albus back and picked up James.

“James, what can I say about your namesake. He was the one of my very best friends. When he, daddy and Peter found out that I was a werewolf, they didn’t run and hide they undertook one of the most difficult spells and became animagi for me. So we can run together on the full moon. I’m looking to you to take care of Lily, Albus and Daddy. I know it’s a huge task, but I won’t be here and I need someone I can trust and I always trusted James. If you have a problem I’ll find a way to help you just keep the faith. I love you.”

Remus put James back and went to leave the room.

“Here.”

“How much?”

“I just got here.”

“That long to make portions?”

“I’m sorry Remus I know today is supposed to be a happy day. I couldn’t help myself.”

Remus gathered him in his arms. ‘That’s okay.”

Remus drank his potions and then came the first cries, followed by a second and third. The got the babies up, fed, bathed and dressed. Sirius took a shower while Remus played with the babies and then the reverse. It seemed like any other morning in the Lupin-Black household. By the time guests arrived the house was in order, food all made and babies were fed and sleeping.

The house was decorated with pictures of Remus from his youth all the way up to recently with a family portrait of the five of them.

Everyone was eating having a good time. Hope was running around like a mad child you never knew it was a party to say good bye. Until five o’clock struck.

“Everyone, this is exactly how I wanted this party to be a celebration of life. But it is a goodbye party and I fear I now must say goodbye. Kingsley, thank you for having my back covered more than once I’m sure I have a life debt or two I still owe you. Molly, thanks for being there for me I’ll give Arthur, Bill, Percy and George your love. Fred, thanks for your smiles and pranks and through you a little bit of the marauders live on. Peter you took a great risk coming here, thank you friend for everything. Charlie, thank you for giving Nymphadora everything I couldn’t love and a family. Neville, you really turned out to be a great wizard your parents would have been proud. Ron, thanks for covering for me in battle and being so understanding about taking Hermione away so very often. Ginny, thank you for carrying my daughter I hope she’s just as brave and beautiful and smart as you. Nymphadora thank you for helping me through one of the worst time of my life. I’m sorry I couldn’t give you everything you wanted from me. But it seems you mad out pretty well. Hermione, what can I say in the past two years you’ve been my rock. You’ve help give me something I thought I could never have a family. Never feel that you failed, it just wasn’t there. Thank you. Harry I may not be your father or your godfather, but I am your friend. We’ve been through a lot together and I wanted to say thank you and I’ll make sure your parents and Albus know you’re safe and in love. Please take care of Sirius for me he’s going to need you. Lily, Albus and James I’ll always be in your heart and always looking down watching you.” Sirius eyes welled up as he grabbed Remus and held him tight. “Lastly Sirius my love, thank you.” No more needed to be said between them Sirius knew exactly what Remus meant.

“Sirius and I are going away now, just the two of us. Please don’t follow. Good luck to all of you.”

Remus leaned over to his three children and kissed their foreheads. “Remember Da loves you so much.”

With that Remus and Sirius walked out of the cottage arm in arm to renew their vows one last time. The clearing was decorated as it was a few years back. They got under the trestle and held hands

“I, Sirius Orion Black take you Remus John Lupin as my partner. I will love, honor, and cherish you, in good times and in bad, and promise to stay true to you as forever even after death. I offer this ring as a symbol of my love and devotion. Let it always be a reminder of my vows to you.”

“I, Remus John Lupin take you Sirius Orion Black, as my partner. I will love, honor, and cherish you, in good times and in bad, and promise to stay true to you as forever even after death. I offer this ring as a symbol of my love and devotion. Let it always be a reminder of my vows to you.”

They kissed what seemed like forever.

“Sun’s setting. It won’t be long now.”

Remus held Sirius for dear life. “I’m afraid I don’t want to die I don’t want to leave you or our children.”

“I know babe. But we tried everything.”

“I know.”

Remus undressed to preserve his robes more of a force of habit than anything else.

The laid on the ground in each other’s arms.

“I left a letter to give to the children to read on their way to Hogwarts. They’re in the top desk drawer with all my other personal belongings.

“How long babe?”

“Five minutes maybe less.”

“Pads is going to ravage Moony you know.”

“And like wise.”


At the cottage Hermione kept reading over one of the incantations. It had to be the one, but they done this one before.

“What’s you reading?”

“This incantation it has to be the one but it didn’t work.”

“Who’d ever think that Snape was sappy. On the night of the full moon with these words I will show my love.”

“Ron that’s it. It said on the full moon and it’s a love incantation. Sirius has to say it.”

“HARRY!!!”

“What?”

“Where are they?”

“I have no idea.”

“Think. I think I have the counter curse.”

Harry remembered the pensieve and the marriage. “I think I know where they might be.”

“Accio Firebolt.”

They climbed aboard.

“How long do you think we have?”

“Five minutes maybe less. Hold tight.”

Remus started to feel pains of the transformation “Good bye love.”

Just then a broom landed with Hermione and Harry.

“What are you doing here.”

“Here say this, it’s the counter curse. Hurry he has to be in his own mind.”

Sirius uttered the words of the incantation and a white light hit Remus just as he was fully transformed.

“Get out he’s not safe.”

Having faced the werewolf once was enough and they took off.

Sirius changed to Padfoot and after doing the dance of nipping and sniffing they took off in the woods together. As the moon started to set Remus changed back into his human self. As soon as the transformation was complete his chest burst open and Sirius could see his heart slowing down and finally stopping. Sirius draped himself over his lover and screamed “NO, “ but Remus laid still.