How They Fell

Chapter Twenty One


It took two days for Harry to feel like himself again and two more before he had caught up with all the work he had missed. Then, to his infinite annoyance he had Quidditch practice that Thursday night.

It therefore got to Friday night before Harry could try his forms, a fact which Hermione thought entirely good as they would be able to sleep in the next morning and therefore would not be tired for school. As Ron and Hermione already knew their forms and had even used them a couple of times, this view, combined with the wait served to make Harry grumpy and frustrated.

When they were finally out on the grounds after dark Harry couldn’t help bouncing with excitement. He felt like it was Christmas already and he would be getting to open the best presents ever.

They tucked themselves into a small corner of the lake so that Hermione could be near water and in case any of Harry’s forms were water dependant. Then Hermione turned to Harry. “Ok, now you can transform.”

They were the words that Harry had waited all week to hear, but he paused.

“Umm, how?”

Hermione blinked, sighing. “Oh! Well your initial transformation in supposed to show you how, but you didn’t have an initial transformation. Otherwise it’s different for every single person as it depends how their animagus form feels…but you wouldn’t know because you don’t know what they are.”

Harry shook his head worry welling up inside him. What if he didn’t discover how to transform?

“Hmmm.” Said Hermione, thinking.

“The dream.” Interrupted Ron munching on a sandwich. “It must have shown you, I mean it’s from that that you know you’re an animagus.”

“But it didn’t show Harry how to transform.”

“Well, I’m sure Harry, being Harry with three possible forms will have a different way of transforming. It would make sense.”

“Yeah,” agreed Harry. Hermione however, did not seem convinced.

“So what did your forms look like? Visualise them or something,” Ron said, the words barely coherent because of his full mouth.

“Well they were kind of shining coloured orbs. Quite big, sort of looked like vortex’s in muggle sci-fi films, but 3D, well oval-ish.”

“Fine, whatever, visualise one.”

Harry did. He decided to start with the black orb. Harry focused as hard as he could, emptying his head of everything but that image.

He carefully opened an eye and looked about…everything looked the same.

“Didn’t work mate.”

“Oh…” answered Harry glumly.

“See I told you, you have to know how being the animal feels, all the books are clear on that fact,” stated Hermione.

“No, I think Ron is right, he must be or I would never be able to transform. I was probably just not concentrating hard enough Herm. I’ll try again.”

Again Harry focused on the image of the black shining orb; he pushed everything else out of his mind in an effort to force himself to change.

He opened his eyes to find that Ron had finished his sandwich but other than that nothing had changed.

“Damn!” Hermione seemed about to interject with a helpful suggestion, but Harry stopped her. “No, don’t, I need to think.”

He sat down on the grass and thought about the dream and possible ways in which it might have been showing him how to transform. Nothing really came to him. The dream had shown him lots of other animals, and then he had seen the ones that were right for him and how they had looked. That could translate as a feeling of the animal, Harry supposed, but he had focused on it and hadn’t changed. Other than that there had only been the weird bit when he divided up and one part of him crashed into the black orb with a flash…No there wasn’t really anything else. Perhaps he would have to remake the potion -.

But his thoughts were interrupted with a gasp from Ron and an excited, “you did it Harry!” from Hermione.

Harry opened his eyes and looked around.

Wow! He had done it!!! He was really an animagus! He was a…wait a minute what was he.

Harry looked around more carefully, but large spikes were blocking his view. He looked up and jumped in shock. God Ron looked huge! He must be really small. Were those spikes grass?

“You’re a snake, Harry.”

Harry’s head whipped round to look at Hermione, he tried to answer her but a low hiss came out of his mouth instead.

The dream! The bit of him that had gone out to the snake had been his tongue and voice! The fact that he was a pastlemouth had influenced the shape of one of his forms! Wow this was cool!

Harry’s tongue flicked out and he tasted the air. God that was a strange thing to feel! He could taste smells on the air. He could distinguish everything, the different smells of Ron and Hermione, he could even tell exactly what had been in Ron’s sandwich.

He raised his head so that he could see above the grass, but found that in the dark he couldn’t see much anyway, although he could pick up any hint of movement.

The really odd thing about this form Harry decided was that it was cold blooded. He was rapidly growing cold in the winter night air. To combat this Harry began to move around.

Slithering was also decidedly different from walking. It was surprisingly quick and the grass tickled him pleasantly as he glided over it.

However, despite his movement Harry was rapidly growing very cold. It was clear that there were disadvantages to his snake form; he would not be able to use it in darkness nor in cold places.

‘Now changing back.’ Thought Harry. ‘Hmmm, Hermione had said to focus on how it felt to be him. Well he might as well try it and quickly, if it didn’t work he was going to freeze!’ Harry focused on being himself as was relieved to feel himself instantly begin to warm.

“So cool and so cold!” said Harry through chattering teeth. “Ok next one!” He announced grinning widely.

Ron rolled his eyes expressively, “Lucky bastard!”

Harry stuck out his tongue and tried to work out how he had transformed last time.

It seemed like it was thinking about the flash the orbs made as parts of him bonded with them that made him transform.

“Ok, dark green next!” Harry fixed the image in his head and vaguely felt himself feel different. He opened his eyes.

Again he was low down. He cocked his head to look around. His vision was better than the snakes, but Harry sensed that it wasn’t meant to be used in the dark and was not as good as it would be in the day.

“Mate, you’ve turned into a kind of bird.”

Oh great! He was something like a starling, maybe a pigeon or, ‘please no’ thought Harry, not a canary.

“Oh honestly Ron! Harry you’re a kestrel.”

Well that was quite cool. He didn’t know very much about kestrels, only that they were birds of prey, but it would be really great to be able to fly with out a broom! Perhaps he could get some new flying ideas from this form.

Harry lifted his wings experimentally. Not usually having wings they felt really strange. He decided that he wouldn’t try flying just now, he could kill himself, and he wasn’t sure if it would come naturally or if he would have to learn how to.

Focusing on himself again he turned back.

“You didn’t fly?” asked Ron.

“No, didn’t thing it was a good idea just yet, and besides I want to see what my last form is.”

“Yay! Guinea pig time!”

“Will you shut up about that?” Harry asked Ron.

“No.” He answered smiling. “Now hurry up and change, I want to transform too.”

Harry thought about his last form. The other two had been cool, but something about the way this particular image pulsated with light told Harry that it was special. Harry tried not to hope that it was the form that he really wanted. If he could only be a stag like his father! But if he hoped he might be disappointed.

Ok transforming. Again he visualised the flash of light as part of him bonded with the glowing orb. But this flash was bigger than the others.

Harry opened his eyes. He was definitely taller than his other forms! His sight was amazing, he could see everything so clearly, even in the dark! He could hear Ron and Hermione breathing, the water against the lake edge, a small scuttle of an animal as it moved meters away! And his sense of smell, it was even better than the snakes!

“Oh-my-God!” gasped Hermione.

“That’s sooo cool!” Exclaimed Ron.

Harry wanted them to hurry up and tell them what he was. However, he was really surprised to hear a growl escaping from him. He could growl!

“You’re a wolf, Harry!”

“Yeah, a really, really huge one!”

For one moment Harry felt a stab of pain: he wasn’t a stag. But really it had been silly to think he could be; so Hermione was the same form as her patronus, he was not his father. Events had made him different, so of course he would have a different form.

A wolf. That was definitely very cool! Harry swung his head and found himself looking at his grey, bushy tail. He waggled it and yapped in happy delight when it worked.

It struck Harry that he had often seen Sirius doing this kind of thing. Well if he couldn’t be the same form as his father at least he had a similar form to his Godfather.

Harry’s face broke into a wolf grin, his tongue hanging slightly out of one side.

“I’m going to change now Harry,” said Ron standing up, “Please don’t eat me.” He added.

“Or me!” said Hermione. Harry let out the wolf equivalent of laughter, flicking his tail from side to side.

Ron stepped forward, away from the rock he’d been sitting on. Harry was amazed to find that he came up to Ron’s waist. God he must be huge! Ron was easily over six foot, which meant that he had to be at least three and a half if not four. Wow!

He smelt the difference when Hermione and Ron changed into their other forms. Hermione slipped happily into the water with a soft plop, Ron started ambling around
aimlessly, occasionally sniffing at things.

Harry stretched out his new limbs and moved around slightly, becoming more familiar with his body. He could feel that it was well muscled, yet supple at the same time. He began to trot around the lake, following Hermione’s progress with his improved vision.

Trotting was nice, but to Harry it just felt too restrained. There was a wild delight in being a wolf, in being able to see and sense so much of the night around him. Picking up the pace Harry began to run.

He had always liked running, and he had always been fairly good at it, easily outrunning Dudley and his gang. But now, in this form, running took on a totally different feeling.

He was so fast, effortlessly moving at twice the pace that his human form could. But it was also easy; he could run for days if he wanted. This was truly wonderful! To Harry it felt much like the first time he had flown, a sense of absolute freedom filled him. He could go anywhere, in this form. Nothing could harm him he was so powerful.

With in a few minuets Harry knew that he was right in his guess that this would be his favourite form. In pure happiness he cried out, a howl escaping his muzzle.

* * *

After the trials of November, December to Harry was a dream month. Ron, Hermione and he went out at least twice a week, playing and larking about on the Hogwarts grounds.

Harry became familiar with all of forms, recognising their uses and failings.

He found that the snake made him grumpy and snappish for days if he used it for long periods of time. He was also uncertain about using it too much. Its colour corresponded to the black band in Harry’s essence, the part, he concluded, that Voldemort had given him when he had killed his parents. As such the form of a snake seemed to represent the darker side of Harry’s character, as well as his connection with Voldemort. Although it definitely had its uses Harry didn’t feel entirely comfortable with it.

The form he most frequently used was the wolf. Harry loved the way it felt to him, its power and speed. To him it became everything he had envisaged when he had first imagined being an animagus. And Harry rather thought that it was the form he would have been if Voldemort had not attacked him. The bright green was the same colour as his and his mother’s eyes.

He grew to like the kestrel as well, especially once he had perfected flying. He had been relieved to find that he wouldn’t have to learn how to fly; it had come instinctively with the shape. However, it had taken a while to get used to. Harry had occasionally confused it with being on a broomstick when he had started, leading to many heart stopping moments where he thought he was going to crash. Once he had started to trust the kestrel’s instincts and had stopped thinking about what he was doing he found that it was a wonderful experience.

As a kestrel he was devastatingly fast, swooping down at speeds which gave him the same thrill as Quidditch, but which was better as he wasn’t dependent on a broom. This way he was completely free, circling over the towers of Hogwarts, perching on them and watching the grounds below. He knew that some of the views he saw would stick with him forever because of their beauty.

The only slight problem with the kestrel and wolf forms was that they left him with cravings for meat.

* * *

Lupin smiled as he read over the letter he had received from Harry.

Dear Lupin

I don’t think I ever thanked you properly for your birthday gift. The book was so useful and it is really, really amazing! I can’t thank you enough.

There were a few unexpected side effects (just because nothing in my life is ever normal) but I’m fine honestly. In fact the side effects even made it better! I have had great fun taking it out and exploring with it all over Hogwarts grounds. Ron and Hermione have also taken an interest and send you their thanks in addition to mine.

Everything else is fine. The teachers don’t seem to be able to stop talking about NEWTS but I’m working hard so it should be ok. Quidditch is good, we thrashed Slytherin in our first match and team captain is fun. Other than that there isn’t much else to tell you.

How are you?

Many thanks

Harry

* * *

Between their outings and all the work they were given, Harry, Ron and Hermione found that December passed very quickly, although it was one of the best months Harry had ever spent at school. In their animagus forms they did what the marauders had done before them, exploring throughout the school, the grounds and even Hogsmeade.

The only slight depression on the whole month was that Harry was going to have to spend Christmas on his own, without Ron or Hermione for the first time ever. The Weasley’s were going to visit Charley in Romania and Hermione was going to be a bridesmaid at her cousins wedding. Both had asked Dumbledore if Harry could accompany them, but with Voldemort growing in confidence and strength it was deemed too dangerous. Even a Christmas at Grimmauld place was denied to him as Lupin would be going away on order business. The constant attacks on muggleborns and the disappearances of wizards also meant that most of the rest of the school would be going home; every one seemed to want to be with their families, just in case it was the last time.

All in all it didn’t promise to be a particularly exciting holiday. Nether the less, at least at Hogwarts, even without his friends he’d have lots to do. He could fly every day, either on a broom or not, and he could investigate the forbidden forest as a wolf, something which he Ron and Hermione had not yet got around to do.

* * *

Harry, Ron and Hermione spent the last Hogsmeade trip of the term apart, doing their Christmas shopping and buying presents for the others. They had agreed to meet in the three broomsticks at one o’clock for lunch, but Harry having fewer people to shop for finished early and decided that he might as well be warm. So he made his way to the back of the pub, to a seat where he wouldn’t be ogled at by what seemed to be every female member of Hogwarts.

He sat down, ordered a Butterbeer and began to drink it. It was only as he started looking around the pub for people he knew that he spotted Malfoy sitting on the opposite side of the pub talking to Blaise Zabini. They were mostly concealed by a large Christmas tree, hiding them from the majority of the pub, except from this angle. It was the same table that Harry had sat at in the third year when he had overheard the teachers first talking about his godfather, Sirius.

Harry watched as Malfoy and Zabini talked and laughed over their lunch.

The sight struck him as odd in many ways. He had not known that the two were so friendly. Harry had always presumed that it was Crabbe, Goyle and Parkinson who were Malfoy’s closest friends. But looking at them now the two looked really…intimate. The way they leaned in slightly to talk to each other, their crossed legs pointing to the other and almost touching. Harry tried to brush away the sense of closeness that surrounded the two, it was probably just an over reaction at seeing Malfoy talk to anyone. His exclusion from the rest of Slytherin house, even Zabini, had been very evident and Harry lazily wondered what had caused it to change.

Since the Apparation coarse he and Zabini had continued to be secretly friendly. They had had a few quiet conversations and Harry had found that he quite liked Blaise. Openly they were only distant and polite, but every so often they would catch each other’s eye and smile. It also didn’t hurt that Hermione had been right when she had described Blaise as one of the best looking boys at Hogwarts. He perfectly fulfilled the mystique of tall, dark and handsome, although Harry had to admit that he wasn’t really attracted to him.

No, looking across to the other table it was really Malfoy who caught the eye. His pale skin and almost silver blond hair gleamed in the lights of the pub, offset perfectly by his clothes. Harry looked at him slightly enviously, even with his new clothes and glasses he knew that he cold never look so effortlessly stylish as Malfoy in his simple, but evidently expensive black jeans and grey jumper. And he had to face it; his hair would never do what Malfoy’s was, falling effortlessly into his eyes like that. Harry though about Ed’s sandy blond hair and decided that he might find blonds more attractive. He couldn’t deny that there was just something in the shine and gleam of Malfoy’s hair.

Yes blonds it was, thought Harry without thinking, watching as Malfoy brushed his hair out of his eyes.

He watched the two for a couple more minuets before Ron and Hermione came in, loudly distracting him with some new argument between them. They continued to bicker throughout the whole of lunch, and even all the way back to the castle. By the time they got to the common room both were sulking, a welcome relief for Harry.


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Author’s note: Just saying thank you to everyone who has reviewed, and all those who are keeping up with this story. Special thanks to Lee, Amessis and Pixagi for there encouragement. And, even though I hate it when people do this, I promise to keep it brief.

To Kate: Your patience will be rewarded. It frustrated me when I was writing it that Harry and Draco wouldn’t hurry up. They will get there though.

To Lee: I completely understand your worries about Draco’s character in Chapter 19. However I felt that seeing him happy was really important after the amount of stuff that he’s been put through. I also wanted it to be very evident so that the reader can understand what a fundamental change this is for him. And I do promise that Chapter 20 has a point – it’s just a bit crap that you have to wait to chapter 42 to find it out. Sorry.