#8 ~ A Rather Catty Situation

Disclaimer: All characters belong to JKR (except Odessa Divine, Marcus Delaluci and Cassandra). All situations are mine. No $$$ is being made from this fanfic.
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Chapter 20 ~ Marcus’ Dilemma

Marcus headed back to his rooms. He had class in another forty-five minutes. He almost wished he had never tangled with Odessa Divine. He was just looking for a quick release with a beautiful woman. So what if she were sick? He wasn’t trying to fuck her mind, after all. He had to admit he enjoyed fucking her, she was such an ice queen…defrosting her against her will had been good for his ego. Her protestations had really turned him on. She had been a good piece, up to the point when she turned into some kind of monster and tried to kill him.

So now he was finished with Odessa. Yet he felt uncomfortable and he knew why. Snape and his wife. Why he should give a flying fuck, he didn’t know, but suspected that his association with Cassandra was having a detrimental effect on him. He was starting to develop a conscience, and the way he was, that wasn’t good. A conscience would ruin all his fun…it would be a stone in the free-flowing river of his quest for self-gratification. Shit.

Marcus unwarded his office, walked around his desk and dropped into his swivel chair. He picked up the picture of his mother and father, and looked at it for a while. They had loved each other and him very much when they were alive, and loved him still, now that they were dead. He would have hated if anyone had come between them. He put the picture down, and ran his hand over his face as if he could wipe that thought away. Hell, Snape and Hermione had been in tight fixes before, facing unknown dangers. They came out of it all right without his help. They were like cats themselves, always landing on their feet when they took a fall. Why should this time be any different?

Maybe because there was a murderous monster inside Odessa that she couldn’t control. Something no one knew about but him. When he became aware of Alistar and his link to Hermione, he had told them…well tried to tell the couple. They really hadn’t believed him until the ghost tried to give Hermione the icy hard high one. He was sure if he gave them a warning this time, they’d listen, and listen good. But then again, why should he tell them? The only reason he told them about Alistar was because the ghost was affecting him too, and he needed access to it to get rid of it. It wasn’t as if he were trying to be noble or anything. He usually let people deal with their own problems, while enjoying witnessing the pitfalls they fell into during the process. Life was less complicated and more interesting that way. Why should he mess up a good thing?

He thought about the couple. Yeah, they came out on top when they faced trouble, but they always had some kind of prior knowledge. They knew about the deatheaters. They knew about Alistar. They knew about Odessa wanting Snape, but not about the transformation she goes through. There was a good chance that Odessa’s jealousy of Hermione would make the monster manifest, and she’d try to kill the witch in order to free the way to Snape.

Marcus sighed. He wished he could talk to Cassandra, but already knew what she’d say. Warn them. Plus, he was certain the Obeah woman knew what happened to him, and why. She was going to be disappointed in him. He knew she’d forgive him because she knew what he was inside, but still, he dreaded facing her. This was another first for Marcus, being ill at ease because of what someone thought of his actions. Gods, she was just another woman. At least that’s what he tried to tell himself, but he knew she was more to him than that. And it wasn’t just because he wanted to fuck the exotic black woman, though Merlin knows he wanted her badly. He found peace with her. Her presence brought him comfort, solace. Made the world not seem so bad. His relationship with Cassandra was the closest thing he had to love in the world. She alone offered him something unconditional, her acceptance of him, darkness and all. Maybe not her body, but there were a lot of willing bodies out here which he could use to meet his physical needs. She touched his soul. No one else did that.

He thought about Snape and Hermione again. Did she make Snape feel like Cassandra made him feel? If she did, he was a lucky, lucky man. And not just because she was twisted. But because he could fuck her. Marcus considered. No, fuck wasn’t the right word for what they could share. Fucking had to do with lust. Feelings made it something else entirely. He guessed ‘make love’ would be the right term for it. He had always hated that term…but it seemed to apply.

Marcus had the feeling that if he could ‘make love’ to Cassandra, feel her give all of herself to him, it would be different for him than his usual conquests, which all revolved around pure physical gratification. It would mean something more because of how she treated him, and he treated her. How he felt about her, and the solace she brought to him. He sighed. He would never be able to meet Cassandra’s conditions to be her lover. He had tried abstinence from other women, but he still wanted them despite how he felt about the Obeah. He was trying to be something he was not for her, and it wasn’t working, as much as he wanted it to. He would probably never know what it is like to make love to a woman he cared about, because the one woman he cared about would always be beyond his reach.

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Unknown to Marcus, Cassandra was lying on her grass mat, in the twilight of early morning, listening to his thoughts. She was moved. She was moved that he was in a quandary about the two who accompanied him on his journey, she was moved that he was developing a conscience, despite what he had just done, and she was moved that the dragon man truly cared for her, and felt her different from other women.

Maybe she was asking too much of him. Maybe he was giving her all he was capable of. He didn’t know how to love a woman, after all. His thoughts of her were lustful, but tender too. And Marcus never did tender before. He was in despair when it came to her. She knew he had tried very hard to change himself, but he couldn’t completely. He had changed very much emotionally, yes. She knew this because she could see into his heart when they sat together, watching the sunset, finding comfort and peace in each other’s presence, or when he kissed her and walked away when he knew he wanted more, but said nothing. It saddened her that he felt he would never know what it was like to lay with a woman he cared about. That he felt he would never lay with her. Maybe she needed to rethink her relationship with the dragon man. Maybe…she needed to take a chance with him and be his lover, accepting him as he was. Maybe that would open up his heart.

Possibly, if he had her as a lover, he would not have manipulated the cat-woman that way, taking advantage of her illness, and risking his own life. Perhaps, if he had her as a lover, he would not seek out other women at all. Perhaps the Obeah could become all he needed. But giving herself to the dragon man would be risking her own heart. She knew what he was capable of, the darkness that was inside him despite her spark of light. He might take her, and still not change, remaining true to his nature. Cassandra sighed. She would have to pray to her ancestors, and hope they would give her guidance.

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Damn. Where was all this fluff coming from?

Marcus stood up. He needed to clear his head. Maybe he’d take a walk by the Forbidden Forest tonight. Get away from the castle and the people in it. That always helped him center himself. He opened the drawer to his desk and took out the morning’s lesson plan, and headed for the DA classroom.

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A/N: Hm. Interesting thoughts on both Marcus’ and Cassandra’s part. I wonder will he tell them? He might have to, after tonight. Please review.