Sing for Me, Cry for Me

21. Touches in the Night.

Lucius sighed, put the letter aside and started working on a Portkey that would transport him to Harry. He should have known that things wouldn’t be easy with Harry. His mate was suffering and Lucius didn’t like it one bit. After preparing all he needed he once more looked through the book on Veelas and its mates. There was clearly stated that upon hearing its mate with its Veela sense the said Veela or part Veela had to act immediately on the spot. The first step in bonding with its mate was its claiming. As the book said it didn’t really matter if the newfound mate agreed or not. Lucius remembered even reading that if the claiming was forced upon the mate the stronger the bond would become. Though none of the books said that the mate’s reaction would be quickened and increased considerably by that. Than came a month of painful and hectic waiting for Veela. During this month the Veela had to stay as far away from its mate as possible and wait till the bond would start forming. The forming of the bond took place in a simple way. Upon seeing one another after a month both the veela and the mate would feel a tightening in their chest, a knot wrapping around their hearts that would mean that their souls were awakened and were growing and getting stronger in order to later on bond with one another.

“Damn I shouldn’t have gone to Hogwarts two days after I claimed Harry. And still the bond had already started forming otherwise he would have been afraid of me, he would have hated me, but he was calm and even happy when I came near. He wanted me near as close as possible which means that the bond was already working.”

If a simple bonding implied that two souls had to recognize one another out of the body, bond with each other and come back to their respective bodies only for Veelas and its mates it was far more complicated.

Veela was the first to hear and sense its mate leaving the latter in total unawareness as to what was happening and why. In this part of the bonding – claiming – souls didn’t take part, they were still a dormant unit. The month that followed soul gradually woke up and started growing stronger in order to perform a bond, which was that: upon being called out of their bodies the two souls performed a ritual dance with one another in the forms they presented. After the dance was performed the spell was to be said and the two soul would intertwine in order to form a new soul, one and only that would represent both souls of the veela and its mate but in one unit, the strongest one of all. After this one soul would be formed the two souls of veela and its mate would return to their respective bodies while the third soul for the two of them would grow bigger until it would cover both veela and its mate in its glowing sphere. That’s when the bodies would come into action. In this orb they would perform their own binding upon which the soul would penetrate both of them and would soak them with its silvery glow. The veela and its mate would glow for another half hour wrapped in each others arms before the soul would settle down and upon settling down the glow would die out and the bonding would be considered accomplished. But usually the bonding should be finished with a kiss like any act of marriage. Which is indeed considered as marriage because as soon as the bonding between the two soulmates is completed they are considered officially married which is indicated in the documents. If one of the mates was married before the former marriage automatically stops its existence.

The bond didn’t have to be completed immediately after the said month of waiting passed. During months that followed from 3 to 6 Veela and its mate had to get to know each other better. They didn’t have to worry about their feelings for one another because the feelings would already appear by that time and they would be rather strong and sometimes even violent.

Lucius rubbed his temples. He couldn’t explain why the bonding between Harry’s and his soul started forming immediately. But he could explain why Harry was hurting. It was happening all too soon for him, his soul was growing stronger and as any growing organism even spiritual it had to be nurtured. Nurtured with positive emotions and love. But Harry was fighting his feelings for Lucius because he couldn’t understand them and naturally positive emotions such as love were blemished by negative emotions represented by uncertainty and anger. Thus not getting any positive emotions Harry’s rapidly growing soul was eating his strength leaving him weak and probably cold especially if Lucius’ assumptions were correct at night.

The bonding was always harder upon mates than Veelas who were if not prepared than at least acquainted with it. More so when ones mate was once an enemy. More so when ones mate was Harry Potter. More so when the part Veela in question was Lucius Malfoy. Though from what Lucius could understand Harry resigned himself to his fate of wanting and needing Lucius albeit he was still fighting the feeling within himself making oneself weak and cold. Lucius swore. Those adolescents were so angsty.


***

The night slowly crawled in and Harry was once again sitting in the corner of his bed cold and shivering praying for Lucius to come and to take him out of this agonizing misery. Tears started slowly falling down his face while Harry started singing hoping that his Silencing charm would stand the power of his emotions and won’t break through. He was afraid that if his voice would break through someone might get a heart attack because right now his heart ached a great deal and he had no strength to think about which way his emotions would flow. He would just sing and sing until Lucius’ arrival. He would just forget that he’s cold, that he’s weak, that he’s in love with the person he hates or at least hated, that he supposedly was going to spend the rest of his life with said person though this prospect was rather comforting at the moment when he thought that Lucius’ touch would heal him and free him from all the pain. He just wished that Lucius loved him just a bit too. It seemed weird to think that Lucius Malfoy might love him but still Harry felt that if he knew it for sure he would feel so much better. After all he reasoned with himself it’s not such a bad thing to belong to someone. Someone who would care and protect you. Even if this someone is somewhat possessive, extremely jealous and aggressive it’s still made Harry feel nice. Lucius, Lucius, Lucius he chanted I’m singing for you again:

I don’t know where to find you
I don’t know how to reach you
I hear your voice in the wind
I feel you under my skin
Within my heart and my soul
I wait for you
Adagio

All of these nights without you
All of my dreams surround you
I see and I touch your face
I fall into your embrace
When the time is right, I know
You'll be in my arms
Adagio

I close my eyes and I find a way
No need for me to pray
I’ve walked so far
I've fought so hard
Nothing more to explain
I know all that remains
Is a piano that plays

If you know where to find me
If you know how to reach me
Before this light fades away
Before I run out of faith
Be the only man to say
That you'll hear my heart
That you'll give your life
Forever you'll stay

Don't let this light fade away
No No No No No
Don't let me run out of faith
Be the only man to say
That you believe,
Make me believe
You won't let go
Adagio

(“Adagio” Lara Fabian)


“That’s my kitten singing.” thought Lucius as he landed on Harry’s bed though Harry didn’t seem to pay the slightest attention to what was going on. He was sitting all cuddled within himself like a small kitten on a cold winter night, shivering and singing and occasionally sobbing. Lucius decided that Harry indeed must be one of those from the legend because the pain that pierced Lucius heart at hearing the song was tremendous. Lucius scooted Harry in his arms and pressed him tightly to his chest wrapping his arms around his precious teenage mate. Upon feeling strong embrace enveloping him Harry instantly relaxed feeling the pain gradually leaving him and let himself being pressed against this firm solid and extremely warm chest. He was now protected from everything and everyone by strong arms of Lucius who started showering Harry with small tender kisses. Harry smiled. I like him. I really do.

After some time when Harry felt warm and alive again he turned around so that he could now face Lucius but still stay in his arms. He looked Lucius in the eyes that for the first time since he looked into them reflected something else than superiority and arrogance. Now those steel grey eyes showed care and concern and Harry dearly hoped that there was also love within them. He raised his hand and started caressing soft strands of long blond hair that was so unbelievingly soft falling onto Lucius’ shoulders like silvery web. Harry smiled and then did something he never did before. He leaned forward and kissed Lucius for the first time in his life. The act that caught Lucius absolutely by surprise immediately granting Harry full access to the older man’s mouth.

Harry’s kisses were soft and tender and nothing like Lucius’. Or so they seemed to be at the beginning while Lucius was rapidly melting and turning into a puddle of desire from those simple touches of Harry’s lips and tongue. Slowly and carefully though not at all timidly and chastely as if Lucius might disappear Harry’s lips planted tiny kisses onto Lucius’ lips. From one corner of the mouth to another, worshipping, adoring, making Lucius groan just from the tenderness of them making him believe that drops of rain or rays of light were washing all over him. At first they were just on the surface kissing licking slightly biting barely opening Lucius’ mouth with the tip of Harry’s tongue, teasing making Lucius’ breathing quicken. Than incredibly slowly that cat like tongue penetrated inside, darting from side to side, being nowhere and everywhere at the same time, enjoying itself in this welcoming mouth, grinning widely at Lucius’ blissfully shell-shocked expression. For quite some time Lucius was lost to all the sensations except that of little teasing tongue of Harry’s inside his mouth but when he saw the amused glint in Harry’s eyes and felt this sinfully beautiful and playful mouth spreading into a grin Lucius sprang into action. His tongue darted towards Harry’s binding it and turning it and twisting it and licking it and feeling the repetition of his actions being performed with his own tongue so expertly and artfully that it made Lucius wonder were the hell Harry learnt all that and most important with whom. The thought only added more fervor to the kiss and Lucius and Harry started greedily devouring each other’s mouth from inside and outside. After awhile Harry cautiously started freeing his tongue from Lucius’ mouth. Lucius slowed down his attack and looked questioningly at Harry who brought his lips back almost touching with Lucius’ and quietly whispered tickling Lucius’ lips with his warm breathing:

Beso beso, piel a piel
Me enamoras suavemente,
Me devoras lentamente
desatando los secretos del placer.
Solo tu sabes muy bien
embriagarme de locura
Me seduces, me torturas
Con el roce de tus labios como miel

(“Rosalinda” Thalia)

And with that Harry’s tongue plunged into the warmth and passion of Lucius’ mouth once again. This time it was a swift attack and a slow retreat. With the last darting movement as if to make sure that all the territory was marked Harry let go looked Lucius in the eyes quickly before the latter could react kissed him on the nose and giggling buried his face in Lucius’ robes pressing as tightly as he could winding his arms around the elder wizard’s waist. Lucius after coming back to his breath and senses at first from the kiss that was still lingering on his lips and in his mouth and than from the kiss on the nose finally managed to say in an amused drawl:

“I see you’re feeling much better.”

Harry after thinking for a while looked up at Lucius shrugged his shoulders and said:

“Maybe.”

He than put his hands over Lucius’ neck and pressed his nose to his cheek nuzzling it and taking Lucius by surprise once again. After a minute of pleasant sensation Lucius heard Harry singing again:

I keep on fallin’
In and out of love
With you
Sometimes I love ya
Sometimes u make me blue
Sometimes I feel good
At times I feel used
Lovin you darlin’
Makes me so confused

I keep on
Fallin’
In and out of love with you
I never loved someone
The way that I love you

Oh, oh, I never felt this way
How do you give me so much pleasure
And cause me so much pain
Just when I think
I’ve taken more than would a fool
I start fallin’ back in love with you

I keep on
Fallin’
In and out of love with you
I never loved someone
The way that I love you

(Alicia Keys “Fallin”)

“That’s how you make me feel and besides warm, comfortable and protected. Do you mind?”

“Mind? Harry, I don’t mind one bit. Though I would like to hear also that I make you feel loved”

“It takes time Lucius. It takes time.”

“I know love.” whispered Lucius putting Harry’s head under his chin so that Harry was again pressed against his chest. Harry was slowly inhaling Lucius’ scent while Lucius was caressing his hair.

“How many laws did you break to acquire a Portkey so quickly?” asked Harry all of a sudden.

Lucius made an affronted face:

“How do you know I don’t have a stash of them somewhere in the manor?”

Harry looked at him feigning sudden realization:

“Oh how silly of me to forget that you must have a secret factory with poor starved half-dead house-elves producing all sorts of Portkeys for all occasions somewhere deep in the dungeons of your manor.”

“Exactly. And don’t forget that I can take you there and hide you from everyone,” Lucius lifted Harry’s chin with his finger, “for scaring me like that. Fancy a high jump in the middle of the night, do we?”

Harry pouted.

“But Lucius I really needed you.” said Harry burying his face inside of Lucius’ robes once again, “Besides it wasn’t quite true and I wouldn’t do it but I thought that would be great for an effect and would grant your arrival. Because you wouldn’t let me go and throw myself off the towers because you need me too and don’t go berating me for something I wasn’t going to do.”

“In other words you lied.”

“I did not! I just dramatized facts a bit. I already told you to ensure your coming.”

“You think I wouldn’t have come when you called?”

“Knowing you and your ways I really couldn’t be sure.”

“Harry, there is one thing that you can be always sure about. I will be there for you always. I know you don’t see it quite yet but you are my responsibility now and I care about your happiness. I don’t want you to suffer and I don’t want you to hurt…”

“Than why don’t you tell me the truth?”

“Because there are some things that you should find for yourself.”

“You are no fun.”

“Though you are a lot of fun. One more stunt like that, one more suicidal remark in your letter and you will be punished.”

“How? You can’t punish me I am not a five year old.” said Harry laughing.

“Can’t I? And how about this?” and with a swift motion Lucius produced his cane seemingly out of nowhere.

Harry looked startled.

“Where were you hiding it? Are you always carrying it? Though no don’t answer that question. I really don’t want to know. But you are not serious right about punishing me with that cane of yours?” asked Harry worrying considerably.

“Why don’t you try something like that one more time dear so that I can prove to you that I am serious. Very serious.”

Harry shook his finger in front of Lucius’ face.

“Don’t even think about that Lucius. I am not a five year old and I am not a wife that angered her medieval husband and deserves a punishment and you just can’t do it.”

Harry looked at him with a smile on his face that immediately melted Lucius’ heart though he kept his facial expression under control until Harry’s hands started slowly crawling over his robes tugging at them, taking them off. When Lucius’ cloak was placed behind him on the bed Harry’s fingers started deftly unbuttoning his shirt. While opening Lucius’ shirt button by button slowly carefully Harry was looking Lucius devoutly in the eyes saying:

“I needed you, Lucius, needed you terribly. I was cold for such a long time. And all I wanted was you holding me like you can, making me happy and warm and alive. But you, you don’t know what you’re doing to me. Though who am I kidding. You know exactly what you’re doing to me. Do you like tormenting me like that? Do you like seeing me hanging in suspense with no answers? Do you like seeing me like that twisting and writhing with need for you and you only?”

It all happened so quickly that it left Lucius wondering where did his weak moments ago kitten could find so much strength in order to transfer Lucius from sitting position into lying one with Harry on top of him, straddling him, snaking his legs around Lucius’ waist, moving all over him, slithering and writhing and rubbing and twisting making Lucius inhale sharply and barely whisper in a hoarse voice:

“Harry…”

“Shh Lucius,” a finger came over Lucius’ lips silencing him down, “Don’t you see? It’s only too fair. Now I’m going to torment you with my presence just as you’re tormenting me with the absence of you and the answers I need.”

“Harry, if you’re not going to stop…” said Lucius as if a warning.

Harry smiled devilishly:

“You won’t do anything, Lucius.”

And that was true. Once again Lucius could feel that enormous power emanating from Harry and he couldn’t for the life of him even move being paralyzed by the intensity of Harry’s gaze, by his movements that were awakening all other parts of Lucius’ body and this dangerous voice that was impossible to disobey and so he stayed still absolutely compelled by a younger wizard who continued with narrowed eyes.

“You know, Lucius, I wondered why the image of my soul is a raven. It got me thinking and now I want to know maybe it’s because of the claws? Do ravens have claws, Lucius?”

“Claws? I suppose so.” answered Lucius not knowing exactly where this conversation was heading.

“Why don’t we find out it then?” whispered Harry somewhere near Lucius’ ear.

And with that Harry put his hands onto Lucius bare chest and started scratching it with his nails all along. Lucius swore. Harry smiled at the look of pain on Lucius face. But than he looked down and saw along with the traces from his nails traces of blood, some of them were quite deep. Lucius was looking at Harry now not knowing what to expect. And immediately as if transformed an intimidating wizard with a soul of a raven turned into a scared small insecure kitten.

“Did I hurt you?” asked Harry in a trembling voice looking at Lucius with tears in his eyes.

“You could say that, kitten.”

Harry shook his head as if frustrated with himself and leaned down licking all the blood away. Again this catlike tongue working all over his chest. Carefully, slowly as if worshiping his flesh. Harry straightened up looking at Lucius with lost eyes biting his lower lip. The picture of total devastation on his face was too good to miss and Lucius reached his hand to caress Harry’s cheek that was moistened by warm tears. Harry was leaning into the caress, nuzzling the palm, tracing every line of it with his tongue. Lucius stretched out another hand and drew Harry closer putting him on top of himself. Harry bent his neck and reached for Lucius lips. Now Lucius was in command guiding Harry with his tongue asking for surrender and receiving it with no resistance. He wrapped his hands around Harry’s waist all the while caressing Harry’s back making him arch into the touch, whimper and whisper and beg for more. But when Lucius turned them around with him on top of Harry and started undoing Harry’s robes Harry started trembling uncontrollably shaking his head.

“What’s wrong love?”

“I can’t Lucius. I can’t. Not yet. I needed you today for comfort. Whatever else my motives might be I really can’t do it now. I don’t think I’m ready and I would ask you not to push me.”

“It’s all right, kitten. I won’t push you. I know I’ve been doing it a lot lately and I promised you that I won’t hurt you or force you into anything ever again. I may not be a nice man but I will be at least a comfortable man for you.”

Harry smiled.

“Come here.” said Lucius pulling him closer.

Harry gladly complied and was again ensconced into Lucius healing and warming embrace. He wondered that Lucius seemed to be absolutely perfect for him. Whenever he came up close to him he seemed to fit perfectly. Wrapped in Lucius’ arms he felt at home, he felt safe and he felt that he at last belonged somewhere.

“Lucius, did you really think we were going to have sex?”

“Well, one might have assumed that if you wanted me desperately in your bed that that would be indeed what we were going to do. But knowing you I really can’t be sure.”

“I don’t think we are going to have sex until…”

“We get married?”

Harry stared at Lucius.

“Are we going to get married?”

“In a manner of speaking yes.”

“OK, but I don’t remember you proposing.”

“Don’t you? Strange I remember your answer perfectly well.”

“Indeed. And do you mind telling me what was my answer as far as I seem to totally forget that any such thing ever took place.”

“Well, yes of course. What else it could have been.”

“Bastard.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that kitten.”

“Are we bonded?”

“Not yet.”

“Are we going to?”

“It’s a rather stupid question, don’t you think love?”

“And when are we going to bond?”

“Whenever you want of course. Though you have to find out why are we going to do it first. As far as I understand you don’t know so far.”

“I know only bits that don’t fit much.”

Harry sat so that he could see Lucius’ eyes putting Lucius’ hands on his waist.

“Admit it, you just love to see me like that. Not knowing what’s going on and seeking for your help, begging for your touch. Don’t you just adore seeing me like that?”

“I do admit kitten that I like the way you look when you are needy with your huge desolate eyes, begging with that sweet voice of yours, singing, shivering, trembling and crying.”

“And why am I not surprised. God, Lucius, you are such a sadist. Just kiss me so that I don’t have to watch your face going all superior and smirking on me.”

“There are some orders that I am only too glad to comply. Though don’t get used to it kitten”

“We’ll see about it Lucius. We’ll see…”

“Really?”

“Oh shut up and kiss me already!”


***

“No, don’t put on your clothes I want to feel you naked. Yes, like that. Lucius will I feel this weak and cold again?”

“I think that it should be enough for the time being though you really shouldn’t delay finding out the answers. This little won’t be saving you for long.”

“I’ll try to do what I can. Will you stay for the night?”

“Do you want me to?”

“Damn you Lucius. I damn well want you to! You just love making fun of me.”

“I’d love better making love to you.”

“Sorry Lucius I think you won’t be getting any until I find all the answers to my questions.”

“Don’t tell me you don’t want to.”

“Lucius I’m a teenage boy. I’m lying in a bed with a gorgeous man who makes me weak and all bothered! Of course I want to. But I can’t and I am so damn happy that you are suffering too.”

“You’re turning into a monster.”

“It’s you who’s turning me into a monster. I’m learning everything from you.” said Harry pointing his finger at Lucius. Lucius grabbed Harry’s hand and kissed it.

“Than I must say that you are a very gifted student.” he said after awhile.

“Or you are a very gifted teacher.”

“And there are still so much more I can teach you love.”

“Shh! Time to sleep!”

“You are too commanding today.” commented Lucius while taking Harry in his arms.

“I told you it’s all your bad influence on me.” said Harry yawning widely not bothering to cover his mouth which made Lucius do it for him which made Harry in his turn engulf one of Lucius’ fingers into his mouth biting and licking and kissing and sucking on it.

“Maybe you’d better give me a good-night kiss than concentrate solely on such a minor part of my body as a finger.”

“What can I say? I just love your finger.”

“And how about me?”

Harry looked Lucius deeply in the eyes and kissing him on the shoulder softly said:

“I think you know the answer to this question only too well.”

They leaned towards each other and kissed deeply passionately, affectionately, tenderly. Than Harry put his head on Lucius shoulder putting his hand on Lucius chest while Lucius wrapped his hands around Harry’s waist and sighing contentedly whispered:

“Good-night, love”

Harry only smiled and immediately fell asleep.